six.
Sam wants to go back to the SGC. Even high school is preferable over this. "Stop staring, McKay," she orders him.
"But you're so…little," he says, still staring.
Sam glares at him. "I can still punch just fine," she informs him.
"I still can't believe you're standing in front of me," he continues, completely oblivious to her homicidal intentions. "Cloning humans shouldn't even be a reality yet, let alone transferring consciousness from one body to another. And you say that he actually cloned your personality as well? Amazing!"
"Not just one of you either!" McKay is crowing, almost bouncing on his feet as he looks from Sam to Jack to Daniel and Teal'c. "Four!"
"Five, actually," Jack says casually. "Dr. Fraiser is back at the SGC."
"I cannot believe no one told me about this!" McKay announces, sweeping his hands through the air. "And you… you can use the Ancient's technology!"
For a second, Sam thinks McKay will pounce on Jack, but the man contains himself and his head keeps swiveling back and forth between the four of them.
"I'm going topside," Sam says, and just walks away. Not being in the military anymore has its definite benefits sometimes, even if she does miss the knowledge that she belonged in the team. Now she just feels like a kid scientist along for the ride. She definitely enjoys the work; the technology is challenging and it's been a long time since she's had something to stimulate her mentally.
She's the only person in the cart on the way up to the surface, and she kicks listlessly at the metal cage.
They've been in Antarctica for what feels like months now – it hasn't been quite that long, she knows, but it's hard to tell how long exactly because the goddamn sun doesn't set when it's supposed to.
It's cold and bright and windy. An unusually clear day which reflects off the ice with a glare that makes her eyes smart and water.
"You forgot your sunglasses," someone says behind her.
She turns to see Jack holding out his hand to her, and she takes the sunglasses gratefully. "Thanks."
Sam didn't want company when she came up here; she wanted to get away from another reminder of her old arrogance. Rodney McKay was a brilliant scientist, Sam knew, and years ago when she'd first met him it had irked her that someone existed who could possibly do what she did and do it better. She'd set out to be better than him then, and had succeeded, but Sam has a suspicion that Rodney McKay is better than her in some things, and she doesn't like being bested.
Obviously her ego still has a few unresolved issues.
"He's still an asshole," Jack says, breaking the silence.
"He asked me out once."
She has no idea why she told Jack that, and sneaks a look at him from below her lashes. His face is as bland and expressionless as ever – she sometimes wonders who's got the better poker-face between him and Teal'c.
"I'm gonna take a leap and guess you told him no."
"Now why would you guess that?" Sam asks, trying to hide her smile.
"Don't let him get to you, Carter," Jack says quietly.
She looks at him – really looks at him – for the first time in a long time. During their two months here, it seems like he's finally found a sort of peace he's been missing ever since they were cloned. She wonders where and how he found it, and if there's maybe any left for her to find.
"I'm sick of being treated like a child," she says finally. "I prove to them all on a daily basis that I'm not a child, but it's as if no one really listens."
"It's not like you to give up," he says.
"I'm not giving up," she argues. "I'm just regretting making a mistake." The words sound wrong – she didn't mean it like that – but they solidify around them as though frozen by the cold, and she can't escape what she inadvertently said.
"You had a choice and you knew what you were getting into," he says, his voice almost as cold as the ice around them.
"No, I didn't know what I was getting into," she disagrees. "I thought things would be different."
"Different how?"
When did things get so sharp and bitter between them, she wonders? How did they become so jaded and cynical? Maybe when something inside her withered and died.
"It doesn't matter," she says tiredly.
"You think you're the only one who's finding being a clone hard," he says sharply. "Maybe if you listened to the rest of us you'd see you're not the only one in that boat, Carter. The world, contrary to your belief, does not revolve around you. Maybe I also find it hard to know what I am."
"Maybe if you talked to me sometimes and told me how you feel I'd have some idea!"
"You're not exactly easy to approach, Carter, when you spend all your time regretting the decision to clone yourself."
"Maybe I wouldn't regret my decision if you gave me a reason to accept it!"
"I didn't ask you to clone yourself for me!"
"No," she says quietly. "I guess you didn't."
There's not really much to say after that. Obviously she made a mistake; a bigger mistake than she'd initially thought.
---
Sam misses Janet. They send emails regularly and chat on the satellite phone under the pretense of having work related discussions, but it's not the same as having Janet with her and going through it all with her.
She can only imagine how hard it must be for Janet to be by herself at the SGC.
On her downtime, or when she's feeling vulnerable, Sam's taken to hanging out in what's the equivalent of the infirmary. Carson Beckett is a tall Scottish man who Sam's taken a liking too. He didn't realize who she was, the first time he saw her, and despite not knowing why a teenager was wondering around a top secret facility he treated her with respect.
When Sam explained who she was, she'd seen interest in his eyes, but he'd also shown an unexpected empathy for her situation. He treated her like the adult she was, and Sam was quickly growing to consider him a friend.
She's sitting on a small cot now, with a laptop resting on her thighs, half listening to Carson chattering on about his latest discoveries concerning Ancient physiology, when Daniel skids around the corner into the room.
"Sam!" he gasps, clutching at a desk for balance. "Sam, you have to see this!"
"What is it, Daniel?" she asks, pushing the laptop aside and jumping to her feet. Carson isn't far behind.
"We found it!" he grins broadly. "We found Atlantis!"
---