Severus Snape and Hermione Granger
3
Author's Note: I still don't own Harry Potter, or author's notes, or any insanity juice. The Booker prise is a prestigious British literary award.
The poor reader of the fanfic will probably find that the start of chapter 3 begins something like this…
I luv this ship and this fic and my reviewers especially Lilio who luvs this fic I luv u Lilio there's loads of steamy bits this chapter plus Snape is soo hot I luv him but mione is a bit borrin. Luv ya all Snape's one and only true love is me deal with it. I was like sooooooooo high when I wrote this!!!!!!!!!!
What? The poor reader cries in alarm. Steamy Snape/Hermione romance? And who are all these people and why does the deranged soul love them? Plus what happened to using punctuation in author's notes? Besides how can any one love Severus Snape, he just storms around bullying innocent passers by. And should the authorities be alerted that this soul is using illegal substances?
Snape knew he shouldn't have kissed Hermione. She was his student. It took him this long to realise that?
Besides he was a spy. Dating her would put her in danger. At last a valid point? If a slightly over done by black and white movies type one.
Plus what would potter and Weasley think? Since when has Snape cared? Unfortunately the fanfic Snape is not the one we all know and hate. He is in fact a mysterious, intelligent, good-looking sex God. Well according to fanfic writers. Maybe he discovered the wonders of shampoo.
Meanwhile Hermione lay on her bed in Gryffindaw tower thinking about how wonderful Snape was. Excuse me, the most evil villain in the world is after her best friend and she's thinking about batman!
She was in love with him. What? Did I miss a chapter; three pages ago she hated him! You know that maths project is starting to sound like really good fun. She couldn't stop thinking about his good looks. Good looks? Snape? Hermione must have cracked under the strain.
She didn't care what her friends would think. She wanted Snape and she would get him. Now Hermione's gone psycho on us. She'll fall for Voldemort next!
The next potions lesson Hermione sat on the front row. Right in front of his desk. Ever noticed how she always does this with no consideration for the people who usually sit there?
Snape flew into the room. He looked at Hermione. "Looked" what a strong adjective. (As in using no adjective to describe how he looked at her, in case you didn't realise a certain reviewer) This fic is a Booker prise winner for sure. Please play solitaire while you still can!
The lesson passed, but Hermione stayed at the end. Lazy author. They could have at least given us the highlights of the class. It could have been more interesting then the corny romance.
" I love you professor!" Hermione blurted out before she could stop herself. Hermione, come back to us. Stop taking the green pills.
"I love you also Hermione. But we must not start a relationship. Goodbye." Cough, right, cough. Where has the plot gone? He loves her, she loves him but this fic must last longer. So the author will drag it out on us.
Over several more chapters…