Don't you ever tire of wearing that unhinged grin?
I don't suppose you do. Because as far back as I can remember, it's always been there. Always crooked, always a little mischievous. Always a bit knowing, like you know something the rest of us don't. And I'm quite certain that you realize how infuriating that is for me.
Sometimes I just sit and stare at you, watch as that smile slides so smoothly over your lips. Sometimes it spreads so wide that it reaches your eyes, and they twinkle like shining diamonds reflected in sunlight. On those occasions, I know that something good has happened, and my mind temporarily soothes itself.
You always smile when you look at me. And sometimes I wonder what that means--my stomach flips at the possibilities, but at the same time my heart sinks into the deepest depths of my chest--these things are far too complicated to ponder. I'll keep telling myself that I'll think about it tomorrow, until tomorrow turns into forever.
Eyes are the windows to the soul, or so they say. And you told me once that mine needed shades. "There's an ocean of emotion in those eyes," you said. And I laughed, because 'ocean of emotion' rhymed. I made light out of darkness, like I always do, and you merely smiled, that same smile that continually graces your lips. And while you smiled, I cringed invisibly, burying your words in the back of my mind.
"You've always been good with words," you said to me all those months ago. "Except when it matters." You had chuckled then, as if you had just made a joke, and I joined in. But we both knew that there was something true in those words, something that neither of us would ever allow ourselves to say aloud.
I was the master of words, and you were the expert of interpreting those that never left my lips.
The orange glow of the fire is illuminating your face, bathing it in spilled gold. My eyes meet yours, and somehow I know that you understand, you know. And you smile, that crooked, mischievous, knowing smile that drives me wild. You turn to leave, letting me know that you're waiting patiently, just as you always have. I would never expect anything less of you.