Hiding
They thought he was asleep. He could hear them talking about him.
"…long term psychiatric care…"
"…tell him about his team…"
"…alert soon…"
Amusing. Now he was the child. What's best for wittle Wodney? What do we tell him? Can he handle it?
"You might as well come over here. I can hear you." He snickered to himself and mocked them as they drew closer. "I'm feeling much better thank you," he said it with so much acid he could have melted the bed rails.
Weir sighed as she walked into view. "Sorry Rodney. How are you feeling? You lost the plot of the story for a while there."
"I thought I could handle a visit with the corpse brigade over there. Guess not." Beckett and Heightmeyer for all their hocus pocus were right. He should have waited.
He tried to sit up in the bed. The restraints held him in place.
"Um Carson?" McKay's eyes darted around the room.
"As Dr. Weir stated Rodney, you were not in full control of your faculties. You've been restless and combative," said Carson in his most compassionate and understanding tone. "For part of the last day, you've held conversations with imaginary people, cursed imaginary enemies, and have just been delirious."
So this was the first time he had been lucid in a few hours. Now he knew what he needed to do. He would just not care anymore. Caring was too hard. Detach and remain unattached. He could do it. He had done it in the past.
"Rodney, Major Lorne has informed us of a lead in helping your team," Weir informed him.
Damn it. They were not going along with his plan of action. He looked between Beckett, Weir, and the background hovering form of Heightmeyer.
"I see you over there Kate." He smirked. "They're gone anyway. No light left in the house."
"What exactly do you mean, Rodney? You said that before." Heightmeyer stepped to the forefront.
"That's for me to know and you to find out."
He would show them that he really did not care. The cost was too high. And maybe if he repeated it to himself enough it might even be true.
"No Rodney. It is for you to tell me. We can play twenty questions but that is a child's game. Not one for the likes of you." Kate lightly admonished him.
"Oooh now Kate, not playing fair. They're not in there. Whatever makes us, us is gone. The lumps of flesh and bone are empty shells. No existence, no death, just nothing."
"How do you know?" Heightmeyer asked narrowing her eyes. "What makes you so sure?"
He went blank. A dream? A half forgotten memory? A hunch? He did not know or he did not want to remember. He did not care.
He opened his mouth once, twice, then three times. Nothing came out. He tried again.
"What?" Remain detached he reminded himself.
"Rodney, you are not the cause of their condition. I know you already know this. But you are trying to hide from yourself."
He tunnel visioned on Heightmeyer.
"Mur--der--er. I wish I could hide from that. I am also a destroyer of planets and solar systems. What other proof do you need?"
"Rodney, you are not the monster. You're certainly not the villain in this tale. You need to embrace all aspects of yourself- the good, the bad and the ugly." There was no soft understated tone just bluntness. "They need you as much as you need them. Do not hide from the pain."
Weir and Beckett melted into the background as the two talked. They stayed close just in case they were needed.
Rodney's face was now contorted in anger.
"Shut up and get out. I don't need them and they certainly don't need me anymore."
"You are going to have to face them again."
"Get out."
"No." Heightmeyer pulled a chair over to the bed and sat down.
His eyes held hatred and he screamed and he strained and he let everything rage out of him until all he could do was cry.
"Now we're getting somewhere," said Heightmeyer softly.
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Lorne, Halling and everyone on the team waited at the western gate of Mina. Their only contact with Atlantis was probably their last contact until the Daedalus arrived. Lorne was hopeful that the Stargate activation with no one coming through had not aroused suspicion. Odds were, they would not be so lucky. Nothing they could do about it anyway.
After sitting in a little pub the previous afternoon, he and Feris overheard a conversation within a group of locals. They were discussing the imminent culling and the fact that so many were coming to Mina because of that fact. Then their conversation turned to the defenses of Mina and to something or someone called the Protectors.
What got Lorne's attention was the way they lamented the fact the Protectors only accepted warriors. The group could not join because they were not soldiers or they would have volunteered. They went on to say that the abbots at the monastery had better be ready especially with the new recruits.
Rodney kept mentioning the warrior aspect. Lorne just wished he understood what had happened and what those warriors needed with other soldiers/warriors.
On one hand, he knew that these Protectors might know something about curing Sheppard and his team. At the very least, the abbots would. On the other hand, these Protectors and abbots most likely had done this to the team and might not be very forthcoming. He would handle that as well when the time came.
Now here they were waiting to go the abbey and pick produce. Lucky, lucky. He would not leave there without answers.
He looked back towards the village. This society had made some technological advances. The fact they remained in one place and were not nomadic probably helped. These Protectors afforded them the chance of maintaining a civilization but did not deter the Wraith enough that they were completely safe. These people were better off than most so he really wanted to meet these Protectors.
Lorne turned back around as two priests greeted the fifty some odd people gathered at the gate. The two men led the workers down a path towards some hills. As they drew closer, the monastery rose into sight. It was carved into the hill itself.
They followed the stone walls to large open fields of a purplish squash. There were acres of the stuff- no wonder they needed help. It was the only non-forested land in the area. Something to keep in mind if needing a Puddle Jumper.
"I should warn you Halling, agriculture is not my strong suit. More concrete and manicured yards in suburbia than fields of squash," whispered Lorne.
"Just do what I do," offered Halling slightly amused.
The other Atlantis team members raised eyebrows at their Athosian counterparts. They received nods and quiet laughter back.
One of the clerics stopped and waited until all were in earshot before addressing them.
"You will be paid at the end of the work day. A midday meal will be provided. And on behalf of the High Abbot, we thank you!"
He then started directing workers to where they were needed in the fields.
Lorne cast a furtive glance at the high walls of the monastery. He was pretty much thinking there had to be a way of getting into that abbey for the answers or this was a back breaking and disappointing waste of time.
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A/N: Thank you for all the wonderful reviews. I'm blushing. On to the next chapter!