Hello Peeps!

Well I have been feeling incredibly guilty about how long it's been since I updated...so, consider this your halloween candy, ok? happy witchy power day :)

--JW

The Incredibly True Adventure of 2 Witches in Love

Chapter 5

By JewWitch

Paige just stood there staring at Leo, mouth agape, neither of them speaking. Then she shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut, telling herself firmly that when she opened them, this strange hallucination would be over, and she'd be back in the middle of the noisy weekend crowd at P3, arguing with Phoebe. Tentatively, Paige opened her eyes. Leo was still standing there in the middle of the ruined club, staring back at her. He had dirt smudged across his stubbled chin.

"Leo, what's going on?" Paige demanded, feeling her heart rate picking up as she began to panic. "Where's Phoebe? I can't sense her anywhere!"

"This-- this is impossible," Leo said quietly with a shake of his head. "How are you standing here, Paige? I saw you die; I went to your funeral." Paige didn't seem to hear this; her attention was focused on only one question.

"Dammit, Leo!" Paige crossed the space that separated her from her whitelighter, grabbing his shirt with both hands. "Where is Phoebe?"

"At the manor," Leo said in surprise, finally convinced that the girl standing in front of him was real. "How do you even know her?"

"Thank god," Paige murmured, relaxing her grip on Leo's stained flannel shirt. "Take me there, right now."

"I can't," Leo said with a shake of his head. "I'm not allowed at the manor anymore."

"Huh?" Paige looked at him, more bewildered than ever. She closed her eyes, and pressed her hand to her forehead, taking a deep breath. "Okay, Paige, don't panic…there is a logical explanation for all of this." Opening her eyes, she looked up at Leo with cool determination. "Leo, what do mean I'm dead? When was the last time you saw me?"

"It was over a year ago," Leo explained quietly, his eyes softening with a look of remorse. "When everything started going wrong. I never did find out why the source was after you…it didn't make any sense. You weren't even an active whitelighter. After Shax killed you, he came for my other charges…" Leo looked away from Paige, clenching his jaw.

"Shax?" Paige repeated incredulously. "We vanquished his sorry ass!"

"No one's vanquished Shax," Leo insisted, shaking his head remorsefully. "Maybe if they had, things wouldn't have turned out this way…"

"Okay, enough." Paige held out her hand. "I get it; the whole world sucks. I have no powers, and Piper's club looks like it was redecorated by the angry mob interior design firm. What kind of bizarre parallel universe have I sneezed my way into?" Leo just stared at her blankly. "Forget it. I need the Charmed Ones to fix this. If you can't help me, then I'll just have to go get Phoebe, Prue and Piper myself." Paige turned on her heels to exit the club.

"You can't, Paige," Leo said quietly. There was an ache in his voice that gave Paige a chill in the pit of her stomach.

"Why not?" She challenged him furiously.

"Because, there are no Charmed Ones anymore…Prue and Piper are dead."

"No they're not, Leo," Paige said firmly. "Not in the real world." With that, she turned and walked out into the night.

Phoebe waited until after the loud cry of surprise! from the conservatory before she made her entrance on the staircase, in a stunning red dress, escorted as always by two upper-level demon bodyguards. The royal court of the underworld smiled up at her, and she smiled back mechanically, waving gracefully like some demonic parody of Jackie Onassis. Now if only someone would put a bullet in Cole's head and put me out of my misery, she thought fleetingly. The grip on her left hand tightened painfully, and she turned to find the seer next to her with a knowing look. Tut tut, that look seemed to say. But Phoebe felt no fear; she had nothing left to lose.

"Phoebe," Cole purred when he met her at the bottom of the staircase, "You look amazing." Phoebe laughed uncomfortably, turning her face to the side so that, when he leaned forward to kiss her, he got her cheek instead of her lips.

"Consider it your birthday present," she said flippantly, her eyes flashing dangerously for a moment before returning her gaze to the crowd, searching through the demons gathered for the one she'd take for her evening playmate. She walked past Cole without another word, marching purposefully toward a black-haired girl in a very tight miniskirt, and an even tighter silver halter top. The girl saw her coming, of course; every demon in the room had their eyes on the Queen of the Underworld.

"What's your name?" Phoebe purred, trailing her fingers down the girl's bare arm, her own dark eyes fixed on her prize.

"Ursula, my queen." The girl bowed her head respectfully, her long black hair falling in ringlets around her pale face.

"You don't have to do that, you know," Phoebe said quietly. "Bow down to me…I wish you wouldn't."

"Whatever you wish, my queen," Ursula replied silkily, a sultry grin forming on her face.Phoebe smiled back, but it was the same empty look she had given Cole on the staircase. The demon-girl didn't appear to notice this, as Phoebe took her hand and led her back up the stairs toward her bedroom.

Outside the manor, Paige was regretting her choice of hiding places behind the rosebushes. While they provided excellent cover, she was getting scratched all over her arms and legs, and each time she had to bite her lip to keep from making any noise. Still, from this vantage point she could easily see the comings and goings of the manor, recognizing many of the demons that she and the Halliwells had vanquished in the past year. And the fun just keeps on coming, she thought grimly, realizing the only way she could get into her own house was by pretending to be a demon. Well, she reflected, at least I've still got my sexy party clothes on…Plucking up her courage, Paige stood and stalked purposefully toward the back door, where a very large man with almost no neck stood guard. He glanced at her unconcernedly, obviously not perceiving her as a threat.

"Hi there, big fella," Paige cooed, wrapping one arm boldly around the back of his neck. "I'm here for the witch." This approximation of the truth seemed better than an outright lie, since Paige had no idea the conditions she would find inside; only that, one way or another, Phoebe was in there. The guard looked down at the dark-haired beauty grinning up at him, and took her statement at face value. She was, after all, exactly the type the queen favored, and she sent for new playthings quiet often. Privately, he thought, the source was obviously not getting the job done in the bedroom; but this was none of his concern. Raking his eyes once more over the stunning young girl before him, the demonic guard stepped aside and allowed her to enter. Paige winked one dark eye at him, her red lips curling into a confident, sultry grin as she strutted past him into what used to be the laundry room. Apparently, demons didn't need to do laundry-- at least, not as much as they needed a place to keep an open vortex to the Underworld. Swallowing the lump in her throat, Paige edged past the gaping maw in the floor, keeping the panic at bay by imagining what Piper would say if she saw her beloved washer and dryer sucked into Hades. By the time she entered the kitchen, she had regained her composure, and she stalked past the cooks and wait staff confidently. All she could think about was Phoebe, trapped in this nightmare world, kept alive as a prisoner of the Underworld for god only knows what reason-- Paige suspected that the Source wanted her power of premonition for himself. No matter what the reason, she was there, and Paige was completely focused on one goal: saving Phoebe.

She slipped from room to room as nonchalantly as possible, her eyes traveling discreetly across the amassed demons in search of her lover's warm brown eyes. Turning the corner into what used to be the conservatory, Paige quickly flattened herself against the wall. Cole was bowed over a pool table, smoking a cigar, while the seer stood behind him with her head bowed reverently.

"You may want to keep a closer eye on your queen in future," The seer simpered silkily, eyes still downturned. "I have heard her thoughts, and they are not for you."

"You needn't concern yourself with Phoebe," Cole said airily, lining up a shot. "She doesn't have the power to leave me…and once she becomes pregnant with my heir, her loyalties will change. Considerably." On the other side of the wall, Paige closed her eyes, willing herself not to do something stupid. It was hard, though, when all her instincts were boiling up inside her, screaming at her to attack the son of a bitch with her bare hands, and damn the consequences. Instead, she quietly crept from the hall, toward the staircase, thinking of all the different ways she could separate Cole's head from his body once she got her powers back. Finally, Paige found her way to Phoebe's room, grasping the knob with a feeling of intense relief. When the door swung open at last, Paige found herself confronted with a scene she hadn't even considered out of all the possible conditions she'd imagined finding Phoebe in. Her girlfriend wasn't chained, or caged, or branded with any demonic ownership tattoos. She wasn't under a sleep spell, or crying over the loss of her sisters. Instead, Paige found Phoebe half-naked on her bed, making out with a strange girl who Paige suddenly hated even more than Cole. All thoughts, plans, and common sense rushing out of her head at the sight of her lover's nimble fingers slipping up some other girl's skirt, Paige lost her wits completely.

"Phoebe!" She shrieked, grabbing her girlfriend by the back of her bra and pulling her off the demon girl, "what the hell are you doing? Have you lost your mind!" Phoebe looked up at Paige in pure shock, her eyes showing not a hint of recognition. The shock quickly shifted to outrage, and Phoebe wrenched herself away from the indignant girl in front of her.

"Ursula, you may go," she said quietly, not even glancing back at the flush-faced girl on the bed, who was quickly gathering up the remnants of her clothes, looking too terrified of the queen's wrath to be embarrassed that she was nearly naked. She shimmered out without bothering to dress. Phoebe turned away from Paige, going to her dresser and taking out a cigarette, which she lit with a well-practiced flick of her thumb. Paige resisted the impulse to grab the cigarette from Phoebe's hand as they stood there staring each other down.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't have my guards come in here and execute you right now," Phoebe said smoothly, still in nothing but her bra and slip.

"Because I came here to rescue you, you big jerk!" Paige fumed, finally succumbing to the desire to yank the foul-smelling cigarette from her girlfriend's hand, and grinding it under her foot. "I know you don't recognize me, Pheebs, but that's just because Cole cast some kind of spell. He ruined the whole world just to keep you-- don't you see, baby girl, this isn't you!" Phoebe's eyes narrowed suspiciously, and Paige became more desperate. "Look, I know everything there is to know about you, okay? I, I-- I know that you put peanut butter in your oatmeal, and you like to brush your teeth in the shower 'cause it doesn't matter that you get toothpaste all over your face, and, and, you have a scar here," she gestured to the faded scar on Phoebe's ribcage, "from the accident when you were fifteen, when Prue ran a red light--" Paige's rant was cut off suddenly by Phoebe's palm coming down hard across her face.

"Don't," Phoebe hissed, her whole body quivering now. "Don't talk about my sisters…it isn't safe." Paige looked puzzled, but a moment later the door burst open, and Darryl strode in, his jaw set in a hard line.

"Darryl!" Paige squealed, automatically jumping in front of Phoebe to cover her semi-naked body. "What are you doing in here?"

"What bodyguards do," Phoebe said from behind her, though Paige could hear confusion and regret warring with the queenly tone in her love's voice as Darryl's hands closed painfully over Paige's arms.

"Hiya!" Paige shrieked, flipping Darryl over her shoulder with another one of Phoebe's signature moves, and quickly escaping over his sprawled body. "Leo!" Paige hollered as she ran from the house.