Yes another lovely installment of Standing in what's left. And yes as I promised this chapter will be very interesting (I hope). Thank you to all who reviewed my last chapter/chapters you are all much loved. I know that the last chapter was kinda fluffy but I wanted to show you all some of Draco's life with out giving away too much at one time (and I tried to be funny but I don't think it worked) as I guess as you can tell by now that I am switching the point of view from Harry to Draco… but a few of these chapters will be from Draco's P.O.V. but Harry will have his Chapters soon I promise. if you didn't know then now you do…warnings in this chapter : abuse, neglect, some self mutilation…and some bitch slapping…finally! (DISCLAIMER in Ch. 1)

I see all your scars, I know where they fall

So sensually carved and bleeding until you're dead and gone.

I've seen it all before beauty and splendor torn

It's when heaven turn to black, hell to white, right so wrong, and wrong so right- beyond Redemption- HIM

Thoughts

Draco walked down the Darkened corridors of the Hogwarts castle. it was probably around eleven thirty at night. He had finally come down from the tower and was making his usual rounds as all Prefects do. He patrolled most of the six and the entire seventh floor so he wouldn't have to take such a long walk to the Dungeons. Late at night was Draco's favorite time, because he was able to be alone. No noisy first years screaming and yelling to where you would think they were all deaf. No one to remind him that he had papers due, or that nauseating Pansy to follow him around with her perfume strong enough to kill almost any living creature that got around her. He just had the silence that seemed to overwhelm the castle and that was just the way he liked it. He had skipped out on even going down to the Great Hall to eat, it's not he ever really eat anyway, because every time he did he felt like such a failure and so he would and vomited till he felt content. He felt as though what he ate, or didn't eat for that matter was the one thing that his father had no control over.

All was clear on the sixth and seventh floors as he walked past the many pictures that seemed to be asleep. Every night when made his rounds he always walked past the Fat Lady, hoping to catch some Gryffindor out and about trying to cause mischief. And tonight was no exception except this time he was hoping to just catch a glimpse of Harry. Because he knew that Harry wasn't one to follow the rules, but he had yet to catch the boy who lived on his nightly hunts. He had yet again failed in his attempts to catch somebody. Anybody out at night, Draco started down the 7 flights of stairs and into the dungeons, but made a stop by the Prefect's bathroom it had been so long since he had been there and with what had happened today he felt the urge to just sit and relax . When he stepped in the Prefect's bathroom it seemed to dawn on him that he hadn't really been there in forever, he walked over to the pool like tub and counted from the right a few and turned that nozzle counted a few more then turned two and one last one at the far end of the tub. The strange aromas of the water filled the bathroom. As he stepped back and peeled his clothing off of him, and stepped inside the quickly filling bath. he reached back into his robe pocket and grabbed a cigarette, and his wand and said

"Flagrantia" a flame emitted from the tip of his wand to light the cigarette, he dropped his wand near the edge of the tub. He laid back and sunk down to where almost all of his body was emerged in the hot bubbly water; all that remained above the water was his chest, arms, and his head. He let his head fall back to the rim of the tub, and let his hands hang over the side, occasionally taking a puff of the cigarette. He closed his eyes and seemed lost in thought. Not about anything important, he just liked to let his mind wonder. He wondered about his day, and how crazy it had been. He smiled at himself. Then his thoughts of Harry led to the thoughts of his father, and what he would do if he ever found out about his actions, but that didn't bother him as much as the thought it would…for he knew that his father was in Azkaban and wouldn't be free for a long, long time. He took another puff of his cigarette. he opened his eyes to look at the almost nonexistent cigarette, he put the cigarette out on the side of the tub, and let his hand fall in the water.

He brought up his arm up out of the water, and look at it. All the scars on his arm seemed red…swollen, darker than the rest of his skin, he brought up his other hand to inspect it also it was the same. Even though the scars were self inflicted they left reminders of some of the happier times in Draco's life. It seemed as though blood was just urging to burst out of the scars and spill into his bath, and he was not about to disappoint them now. He lifted himself up and over the side of the tub to the same pocket he had his cigarettes in, and pulled out a thin piece of metal. He sat back and examined the razor. So thin yet so powerful, it played of no importance in many peoples lives, but to his it was vital. Keeping what little sanity he had left in contact…helping his deal with his pain. He lifted his left arm out of the soapy water and brought the razor up to his arm and cut across it slowly watching the blood trickle down his arm, and into the water, and disappear. He was amazed by that even though he caused himself all this pain, it seemed to be easier to cope with than everything else. He made another cut not far from the first digging deeper into the skin cutting at it six or seven times making it deep enough to where it to look as though his arm was a fountain of endless wine, ready for all to drink.

He made no face whatsoever just pure consternation at what he was doing. He made one last cut on a old scar, he didn't bleed as much as the others but it served it's purpose well. He was bleeding profusely when he finally was satisfied with the amount of physical pain. He convinced himself that everything would get better but in the back of his mind he knew that things were going to hell. Pulled the plug and the water drained he grabbed the fluffy white towel from over in the chair and dried himself off. Making sure not to disturb to new wounds on his arm. He slipped on his red silk boxers, then his trousers, his black shirt and finally his robe. When he got back to the dormitories he would wrap the wounds properly, but until then he had to be careful. He stepped out of the Prefect's bathroom feeling lightheaded and in a sort of daze as he walk the remainder of the ways to the Dungeons.

He had to wonder the labyrinth passages to get back to the Slytherin Common room. He hated going through this just to get to go to sleep every night. He walked up to a plain Stone wall and said.

"Hellebore" Draco stepped back to watch a concealed door open from the wall, he stepped inside as the door closed. The Slytherin Common room had stone walls, and low stone ceiling.The Common room was dimly lit with the Green lanterns that hung from the ceiling, as Draco walked across the room to where the fireplace was, he pulled up one of the black chairs and sat in front of the slowly dieing fire.

"I must have been in there for at least an hour" he thought to himself

"Damn what a day" he said to the empty Common room thinking no one was with him

"I totally agree" Came the girly voice of Pansy Parkinson from behind Draco

"Shit" he cursed in his mind

"What do you want Pansy?" Draco mumbled to her

"What was that?" Pansy replied to Draco's mumbling as she walked up behind Draco and slid her hands on Draco's shoulders and down to his chest.

"I said what in the bloody hell do you want?" Draco said as he grabbed her hands and pushed her back.

"Aww, Draco no need to be so hostile…I just wanted to say hello" Pansy smiled and walked towards Draco once more, But Draco got up and turned around to face the girl and replied.

"Pansy I have a bad enough headache as it is…and I don't need your annoying voice or bad perfume to give me a complete and utter migraine" Pansy walked up to Draco and Whispered in his ear

"You don't have to get so personal you know"

"Get off…NOW!"

"Why?" Pansy asked bringing her face back a bit to see Draco's face.

"Back off that's the last time I'll tell you Pansy"

"Or you'll what?" Pansy challenged him to do anything. Draco raised his, slung it forward hitting Pansy across her face, with the back of his hand. Pansy just stood in shock as Draco let his hand fall and turned around to set back in his chair, as Pansy Dropped to the floor holding her throbbing cheek.

"You Bastard" Pansy spat at Draco's back

"Been called worse by better people…now get out of my sight" Draco said in a Calm voice. Pansy staggered to her feet and ran off in the direction of the Girl's dormitories. Draco sighed in relief as he knew that that evil bitch had finally gotten what he was aching to give her for sometime now. But he also knew that she would sure thing run her mouth the following morning and he would get Dentition for sure…but he really didn't care anymore he was use to getting in trouble for the things he done…and he had every reason to be held accountable for his actions, because he was a man in his own eyes, and that's just how everyone saw him a proud, arrogant man distended to walk in the shoes of his Father. But Draco was determined to change that.

YES! I finished another chapter…I am so cool…o.k. what did you all think. Was it awesome?...Did it suck?...do I need to just give up…well you know what…I will never know unless everybody reads & Reviews….i love you all

From that darkened place in my mind

If You Only Loved Me