N: Ok. Ok. I'll eventually get to Naruto and everyone else, just bare with me here.

Shikamaru

Shikmaru's answering machine message:

This is Shikamaru's machine. I'm home. I just don't want to talk to any troublesome people right now or ever. So if I were you, which I'm not thank goodness, I wouldn't leave a message because I will most likely not answer it. I mean all you troublesome people are calling me and telling me to do crap for you because you stupid people can't anything for yourselves. I mean you have to call Shikamaru and bother him with your dumb problems. Then I have to get up and check my crappy answering machine for all your troublesome messages. Even if my answering machine says not to leave a message I know that you can't resist and you'll leave one anyway. Beep...

Messages on Shikmaru's machine:

Message #1

(Ino) Shikamaru! I need to get off your butt and come on my house this instant! I need you to help me plan my wedding with Sasuke. (pause) You wouldn't mind being the maid of honor would you? I mean I really don't have any friends that are girls and you are like a good friend and all. Anyway, come to my house right now!

Message #2

(Naruto) Hey! Hey, Shikamaru! I'm really bored and everyone else is busy. I mean Sasuke's still kidnapped and Lee is getting his hair trimmed, so I had no one else to call. So you want to go and have some ramen? If not, I could always go to your house and we could play three consecutive hours of Naruto Narutimett Hero 2. What do you think? Call me back, eh?

Message #3

(Ino) I change my mind I'll plan my wedding tommorrow but today we need to recapture Sasuke! I totally forgot that the stupid Sakura kidnapped him and who knows what she doing to my precious Sasuke. So change of plans I'm coming to your house. I'll bring the rope, the nightvision goggles, a solar radar, and the instant noodles. We're going on a 24-hour stake out! Stay put and I'll be there soon.

Message #4

(Chouji) Shikamaru, I need your help. It's so horrible! I left a piece of chocolate cake on the kitchen table. I turned around to get a cup of milk, then when I turned around I saw that my cake was gone! Since your the smartest person I know I need you to help me figure out the culprit! We won't rest until we figure out who stole my delicous piece of chocolate cake!

Message #5

(Tsunade) Shikamaru I have a very important and crucial mission for you. This mission that I'm goving you is very dangerous and there is a 90 chance that you will die doing it, at the very least be severly injured. So I advise that you get yourself ready. Be in my office at 5:00 am tommorrow morning. Please bring 10 buckets, 8 mops, 5 brooms, 10 rags, 9 dustpans and 15 sponges.

Message #6

(A deep manly voice) Shikamaru this is the president of the United States of America. My country needs you and your brain. I need you to do some top secret research at the pentagon. A federal helicopter will be there to pick you up in exactly 56 minutes. Make sure that no one sees you, this is strictly top secret.

Message #7

(Asuma) Shikamaru you have some long and tiring training to do. Be up at exactly 6:00 on Saturday and we will train up until 6:00 pm, with no breaks in between. This is very crucial so you better not be late.