Note: I KNOW what you're thinking. Isn't she being a little too hard on this Miles guy? Doesn't he deserve a break? When does he get to save the day? No he deserves every word, he really is that much of a jerk. Oh and if Miles just so happens to be reading this...it isn't you. Yeah, it's another Miles. Yeah...that's it... The only other person who I have complete unadulterated consent to use them in my story is Bressa. I'm on caffeine, I can't be held accountable for my actions. Review glares at that creep who is clicking the button to go back to the main menu. I know where you live, punk!

Three hours later TGB, Bressa, and I were all sprawled out in Clarinets and Clothing waiting for the princess to pick out a dress. TGB was nodding her head to an imagined beat and every once in a while she made an annoyed sound as if someone had said something that offended her. I was trying with all my super hero might to help the princess pick out a dress. Bressa wasn't helping by picking out the ugliest and the most outrageous dresses she could find and sneaking them into the pile.

Suddenly TGB banged her hand against the wall making me jump, "Sorry." She muttered sitting back on the ground.

Princess Miles came out of the dressing room in a long purple gown, "How does this one look?"

"Fine--" I began, only to be cut off by TGB.

"I still like the first one, the red one."

Princess Miles posed in front of the mirror and I caught Bressa in the corner of my eye sneaking a bright lime green skirt into the pile, "You're sure it didn't look too flashy?"

"No, it was perfect."

Princess Miles returned to the dressing room with a frustrated sigh. I glared at TGB, "What?" she asked innocently, "I'm just trying to help."

"Can I please just blow him up?" Bressa begged.

"Five more minutes," I muttered, leaning against the wall.

"I found it!" exclaimed Miles from within the dressing room.

"Thank Sweet." I snapped, getting to my feet.

"There's nothing I can do about!" TGB suddenly shouted, "I've told you this a million times. Trust me, there are things I would rather be doing too but we have to help them! Now shut up or I will set you on fire!"

Bressa and I both turned to look at her but she simply glared back at us and muttered something under her breath. It sounded slightly insulting and not quite English. However, we forgot all about that when Miles came out of the dressing room.

Apparently he had decided against the red dress. Instead he had chosen a pink and puffy dress with white ribbons and bright red flowers. I felt a slow smile spread across my face and an uncontrollable giggle rise inside me. Bressa had already given up any hope of self control and stumbled away laughing. I smacked her arm in an attempt to shut her up but I couldn't use my Sousaphone because I was doing everything I could to contain myself.

TGB, being the tactful soul that she is asked, "What's THAT?"

"It's my new princess dress." Miles explained twirling around to show it off, "Can I help it if I actually want to look NICE for the first day of school?"

Still smiling I said, "As long as it gets us out of here, I'm good."

"Well we have to go over to Saxophones and Shoes first."

"What now?" I snapped, unable to believe this.

"Well these shoes don't match the new princess dress."

"Princess," I said with a well place eye roll, "you will just have to rough it for a few days."

"No, absolutely not. There would be an uprising. Riots in the streets. It is unthinkable!"

"An uprising if your shoes don't match?" I asked in disbelief.

"You have no idea."

With a hopeless sigh I followed him across the crowded street with TGB wandering behind us and Bressa cheerfully at my side.

"But the dress is PINK," Miles protested.

"Yeah, but the flowers are scarlet!" I reminded him, waving a pair of red shoes in the air.

"Is that what scarlet looks like?" TGB asked, leaning over my shoulder, "I always thought scarlet was a shade of blue."

"No, it's red." I assured her.

"I had curtains that color once. But I don't think it is called scarlet, I think it is called maroon." Bressa threw her two cents in.

"The point is that it goes with the dress!" I insisted.

"Please!" Miles snapped angrily, "Stormy, I know that you are a 'super hero' and everything," he said, hand on hip, using air quotes, "but leave the princess duties to me."

We wandered off to the front of the shop and sat in the big instrument shaped chairs. "I'm hungry." said TGB suddenly.

"Just wait. We'll be at F.I.B. soon." I told her.

TGB gave me a puppy dog look, "But there's a popcorn place RIGHT across the street. Could you run over and get me a bag?"

I sighed, "What's the worse that could happen?" I walked back out into the crowded street.

Piccolos and Popcorn was a small store that specialized in piccolo supplies and...well, popcorn. Every kind of it lining the walls. Again, King Mobes doesn't give us much money to work with so I bought a cheap bag of microwavable popcorn. Okay, so we didn't have a microwave, I assumed it would all work itself out. That day I learned to never assume anything. TGB responded enthusiastically to her bag of popcorn and took out her Flute of Fire.

"TGB, are you sure it is a good idea to use that?" I asked her.

"What could go wrong? It's heat, it'll pop it, no big deal." she said as if I was worrying about nothing.

"Yeah but...have you ever tried popping popcorn with it before?"

"No. So what?" she asked, flute posed in mid-air.

"Well...Bressa and I have had some bad experiences when experimenting with super hero power stuff." I shuddered at the many, many memories.

"Like what?" scoffed TGB, obviously underestimating our ability to screw things up.

Bressa tore herself away from tormenting the Princess long enough to hit the button that plays flash back music.

3 years, 6 days, 5 hours, 10 minutes, and 55 seconds earlier: (Just like that.)

Bressa and I stood on the outskirts of the Highlands which was the heart and soul of our high woodwinds. (Ha, get it? Because it's high up and there are high instruments there. So it's the High lands. You know, like a pun? Well...I think I'm funny anyways.) We were up on a cliff, shivering and experimenting with our powers. Recently I made the mistake of renting Superman and watching it with Bressa. Now she was determined that we could fly.

"If he can do it, so we can!" Bressa exclaimed with super enthusiasm. (Because she's enthusiastic and a super hero? No?)

"No, it's different! That was a movie Bressa, just a movie! Hello, this is real life!" I snapped moving out of the way as a newborn donkey flew by. Probably just growing in his wings.

"All super heroes can do it!" she insisted.

"Fine," I broke down, staring down the steep slope of the cliff, "but why are we jumping off a cliff to test our flying ability? That's dangerous! Why don't we go jump off a park bench instead? I'm afraid of heights. I'm a LOW brass Bressa, there is a reason for that."

"We can do it!" She said with a smile, "Trust me!"

"Okay." I agreed, we both took a deep breath and leapt off the cliff.

...As it turns out, of all the powers King Mobley gave us, flying was not one of them. Luckily, stupidity does not anger the band gods. Besides this story would be a lot less interesting and a lot worse off if we plummeted to our deaths just then. Luckily King Mobes (who I suppose was being benevolent just then) saved us. Instead of falling to the trees below, we found ourselves standing in The Royal Throne Room. The king was sitting on his throne with a not-so-happy look on his face. Queen Mc sat on his throne looking slightly amused, but attempting a stern look.

"What in Bandtopia were you two girls doing?" King Mobes shouted.

"Um, well your majesty...we were trying to fly." I explained meekly.

Queen Mc chuckled despite himself and King Mobes turned red and shouted, "WHY? You know, you two are supposed to STOP bad things from happening and yet every time my Super Secret Sinister Situation Signal (say THAT ten times fast...or once for that matter) goes off it is you two doing something stupid!"

"It was Bressa's idea!" I protested.

"Stormy, if Bressa jumped off a cliff would you do it too?"

We exchanged looks and Mobley let out what can only be described in this text as a giggle, "NEVER MIND!" Thundered Mobley.

Present:

"I can't believe you sold her out!" TGB exclaimed, fingering a pair of overpriced and overly complicated pair of high heels. She turned, as if speaking to someone who wasn't us, "Can you believe this? Craziness. I'll take my combat boots any day." again she grumbled something that didn't sound quite English.

Using my Super Selective hearing I replied, "That's what you got out of my flashback?"

"Yes it is. And this is nothing like that. It is just popcorn. What's the worse that could happen? TGB took out her flute and used it on the popcorn. And all that happened was that it...popped.

TGB tossed the popcorn into the air and caught it in her mouth. Then she offered the bag to me but I declined. Popcorn and the trombone didn't go together very well. Don't even make me relive the Spit valve Dilemma of 1998. Bressa on the other hand accepted the popcorn and reached into the bag. "Ow!" she cried, "I-I think it bit me!" she dropped the bag.

"How do you like it!" came a tiny, yet fierce voice from the ground. There stood a little popcorn man shaking his fierce little popcorn fist and stomping his little popcorn foot.

I rounded on TGB, "I told you this was going to happen. I knew it!"

"You knew they were going to turn into popcorn people? Wish you would have clued me in." she looked completely serene despite the growing number of popcorn men.

"Don't get cute with me." I snapped.

"I don't do cute, Stormy." I glared at her, although I don't think she was very intimidated. Finally she sighed and took her sweet time standing up, "I'll take care of it okay?"

Good, it was about time that someone fixed these problems besides me. "Listen up!" TGB shouted at them, "I brought you into this world and I'll take you out! I command you to stop!" they didn't stop, in fact they began to rampage through the store. "Fine! You leave me no choice!" She lifted the Flute of Fire to her lips.

Just then two of the popcorn people leapt into the air and threw the flute to the floor. TGB gasped and angrily stomped on the popcorn people, causing them to squeal. The popcorn that was left gathered together and what I assumed was their leader shouted, "Dominate Bandtopia!" and with one last fist shake he disappeared out the door.

"Oh my Sweet! We are supposed to be saving Bandtopia from Matt and we just set loose evil, talking popcorn!"I shouted.

"Calm down." Bressa said. Sweet help us when Bressa was the voice of reason.

"No! You know what? I don't want to calm down! Maybe I need to freak out a little, okay?" I snapped.

"What's the worse that they could do?" TGB sighed in defeat, picking up her flute.

Princess Miles walked over to us in a dainty pair of pink heels, "What did I miss? Do you like my shoes?"

"It's not important Miles," I said with a sigh.

"You there!" he said gesturing to a salesperson standing nearby in a striped pink shirt and pants, "I need an unbiased opinion. How do these shoes look?"

"They look gorgeous!" the sales assistant exclaimed flamboyantly. "Absolutely gorgeous!"

"Why, thank you," Miles leaned over to look at his name tag, "Greg! I like him, he's smart! Tell you what, why don't you come with us and you can be my princess assistant!"

I began to protest but Greg was all aglow, "Really? I've always dreamt of being the princess assistant!"

Bressa and TGB both looked at me and waited for a response. I sighed and threw my hands up in the air, "Fine! No one cares what I think anyways!"

"Great, go get your things and we'll head out," Greg bounded off to go get them. I sighed and walked over to where the princess was, it was time to get down to business.

"Princess Miles, stopping Matt is all good and well for now. But we need to start thinking about protecting Bandtopia in the future. If, Sweet forbid, King Mobes and Queen Mc die, who will assume the throne?"I asked, all sneakily.

"Well...me, that's why I'm the princess." he explained.

"Yeah, but you can't take the throne unless you are married to a King. You have to get married. I need to have someone on the inside..."I explained cautiously.

"No! Absolutely not! Stormy, I should take your head just for thinking such a thing!" Princess Miles shouted, his face turning red. Just then he looked like Mobley. Freaky.

"You would be ensuring the world from certain doom and you'd make Bandtopia safe again." I said.

"No!"

"You would be ensuring a safe society for our future banderations." I pleaded.

"No! I wont DO it Stormy! That's final and nothing you say is going to change my mind." he snapped, sticking his princess nose in the air.

I smirked because I knew the one thing that the brown nosing princess couldn't refuse, "You'd be making King Mobes happy."

Princess Miles frowned and I knew that I had won, "Okay, I'll do it for the good of Bandtopia."

"Good, go woo her." I told him, preparing the donkeys for the rest of their journey.

The princess grumbled and walked over to where Bressa was attending to the Bari Boom, "You know, in the right light that rust on your saxophone looks kind of pretty."

Bressa's eye twitched (a disturbing development I'd noticed since we started this trip) and she glared at him, "The Bari Boom does not have rust!"

"I said it was pretty rust!"

"Pretty or not, my saxophone is NOT rusty!"

"How does one get rust on their saxophone to begin with?" the princess asked, fingering her own, flawless princess sax.

"I had...uh, river issues." Bressa explained, clutching the Bari Boom.

"The thing probably tried to drown itself. I don't blame it, I've heard you play!"

At this I looked up, expecting to have to withhold Bressa from killing him. Unfortunately I was too late because I heard a big splash and the princess was no longer there. Thirty minutes later we had fished Miles out of the Winding Woodwind River and we were on the road, soggy princess in tow. In retrospect I probably shouldn't have sent him over there like that.

Oh well, hind sights 20/20.