Summer had taken Marissa home, making sure there was no alcohol available to her before leaving. She hated to leave Marissa when she was like that, so broken, but at the same time she couldn't handle it. She didn't know what to do, how to fix it.

She felt the guilt over that eating at her. When Marissa had tried to kill herself, she hadn't been expecting it. She should have been though. She should know when Marissa was genuinely happy, and the difference between that and when she was like this.

She turned around, going back inside. She couldn't leave Marissa alone now. It wouldn't be right. When she entered Marissa's room, it was to find her sprawled across the bed, in an obviously uneasy sleep. She lay beside her, reaching out to her to try and calm her. Marissa relaxed into her, with just that little bit of permanent tension remaining a part of her.

Summer noticed that Marissa's fist was clenched around something, and gently opened her fingers to see what it was. The necklace fell out, falling gracefully onto the bed, in way Summer could never imagine Marissa falling. When Marissa fell, it was always with a sense of urgency, of chaos even, underlining her being.

She picked the necklace up, looking at it more closely. She'd never seen it before. Marissa stirred, her fingers seeming to stretch out and reach for the necklace. Summer replaced it within her grasp, thinking it might be of some comfort to Marissa. She'd ask her about it tomorrow.

Jodie had returned to Alex, not wanting to leave her alone. She knew, as much as Alex pretended not to need anybody, she was vulnerable in a way that wasn't obvious. When she got there however, it was to find the house in total darkness, Alex's spare key removed from under the mat. She clearly didn't want visitors, and Jodie would respect that.

Alex was, once again, lying down, but not sleeping. She had heard Jodie come by, but she couldn't bear the thought of leaving the comfort of the darkness she had surrounded herself with. She'd never been so torn up over a girl before. She didn't think she ever would be. But Marissa got under her skin, refusing to leave, no matter how hard Alex tried to cut herself off from those feelings.

Her eyes burned with the sting of unshed tears. She was sick of constantly being on the verge of crying. She wanted to scream until her voice was hoarse, just to see if it would release these feelings. She wanted to hit out at the nearest objects just to make her pain real, and not something that was crowding her head. She didn't do any of those things, though, instead clinging to her sheets as if they could save her from herself.

Marissa had woken to find Summer gently holding her, soothing her. The light shone brightly through the window, a stark contrast to her feelings this morning. She remembered her conversation with Summer last night. She'd made a mistake, sharing her feelings, she thought now. She turned over to look at Summer, who was watching her, concern etching her face.

"Are you okay?" she asked softly.

Marissa looked her, giving her a weak smile.

" I'll be fine," she replied.

Summer shook her head almost imperceptibly. That wasn't the right answer. It wasn't honest, and they both knew it.

" Marissa…."

" Honestly, I'm fine," she said, getting up and getting out of bed slowly. The necklace was still wrapped around her wrist, glinting in the morning sunlight. She wished her feelings would bounce off of her as easily as the light bounced off the necklace.

" Marissa, please. Just talk to me."

" And tell you what, Summer? That I can't breathe because she left me with this pain? That every time I close my eyes I hope I won't have to open them again? That I'm a failure and I didn't deserve her anyway?" Tell me, Summer, what am I supposed to say?"

" That's a start," said Summer quietly. " I can't help you if I don't know what's wrong, Marissa."

" I don't need your help," said Marissa, leaving the room and locking the bathroom door behind her.

She stood under the shower, wishing that the water would wash away everything inside her. She sank to the floor, letting the spray cover her, wondering how long it would be before she would stop hating the mirror because it showed her a faded image of herself.

When she finally emerged from the bathroom, Summer had left, leaving her a note.

" Coop, I know I should have been there before, and I'm sorry. I want to help you now, I hate to see what you're doing to yourself," she read. She crumpled the note in her fist; it was time to start pretending again. Ryan would be here later, she needed to have her mask in place.

Later, he was there, and she was dreading spending this time with him. Emptiness is better than pain, she reminded herself forcefully, as she greeted him with a kiss that felt awkward to her. Not just awkward, but wrong. They didn't fit together, maybe they were never supposed to.

He smiled at her; she pretended to smile back, frowning on the inside. He looked at her for a second, before saying,
" Are we just going to stand here all day, or can I come in?"

Marissa moved out of the way wordlessly. As she did so, Ryan's eyes were drawn to the necklace at her throat. He didn't remember seeing that one before. He never usually noticed small details like this, but there was something about it that made it stand out. Maybe it was the way Marissa kept touching it, as if to check the necklace was still there.

" That necklace, where did it come from?" he asked.

Marissa's eyes darkened a shade before she shrugged it off.

" It's old," she said. " Haven't you seen it before?" Her words were casual, and although she could hear a different tone underlying them, Ryan didn't seem to notice. Alex would have. Alex noticed every little thing about her.

Sometimes she would lay and watch Alex sleep, and the sun catching her hair in the morning would remind Marissa of how beautiful she was. She had never wanted to just watch Ryan sleeping, even during those rare moments she had actually been happy with him. That was all before Alex, though. Now, just the thought of being anywhere near a bed with him made her feel sick.

She knew she was going to have to do it soon, however. It wouldn't be long before he began to question why they weren't, and she had to do everything she could to keep up this pretence. If she kept it up, maybe it would become real someday, and she wouldn't be able to call it making do with a lie anymore.