A/N:
I've gotten some requests that I start a mailing list to let people know when I update. So, send me an email if you are interested. I promise I won't do anything else with your email except let you know when I update and possibly send out little tid-bits of information about the story.
Also, more importantly, I was notified a few days ago that someone had attempted to plagiarize this story. I just wanted to let everyone now that it's been taken care of, but the person has changed their screen name. I'm going to be mean and give out the person's name so that you all can defend yourselves from plagiarism. Originally her name was Elle Felton 922 or Elle Felton, but she changed it to Danni Felton or Dani Rose Felton at some sites. If you see this person anywhere on your author alert lists or leaving you reviews, be careful. She could attempt to steal your work.
In addition to the bad news, I have good. Professor Mary from Mugglenet and has agreed to beta this story. She is a wonderful writer and I urge you to read her story "Shifting Perspectives." It's wonderful! So, a big thanks to her!
Anyway… here is the next chapter. It picks up at the tail end of Draco and Hermione's conversation on the staircase, but this time is from Draco's point of view. The very beginning of the chapter is overlap of the last.
Old Moon Fades
Last Chapter:
"Why don't you call me Draco. Malfoy doesn't really fit anymore. Besides we probably know each other well enough to be on a first name basis by now anyway."
It wasn't what she had expected but somehow the gesture was more than adequate to relieve some of the pain of lost friendships. He was watching her so closely, so fragile seeming that she felt only warmth for him. At that moment she wanted nothing more than to just be Hermione and for him to just be Draco.
"Alright, Draco."
Chapter Sixteen: The Meeting
She laughed and smiled at him. Draco could still hear the tears in her voice as she spoke but the sadness was quickly being replaced with resolution. "Sure, whatever you say, Malfoy."
She still gazed up at him expectantly but he could offer her no smile in return. She'd called him 'Malfoy' though they both knew that he was not. It wasn't that it pained him to hear it spoken, it was more that it was just too sore a topic.
"Why don't you call me Draco. Malfoy doesn't really fit anymore. Besides we probably know each other well enough to be on a first name basis by now anyway."
Even as the words left his mouth he'd regretted them. Thousands of questions flooded his brain while his heart beat frantically in his chest as he awaited her answer. It surprised him how much he wanted her to agree. His nerves were shot as he watched her thinking over his suggestion slowly. He'd noticed she always did that when she thought about something. She didn't jump into things as readily as others. Carefully she processed things before making a decision. He liked that about her. She looked up at him and smiled again. She had a lovely smile. Why had he ever thought her plain?
"Alright, Draco."
It was like music, like poetry to hear his name in her voice, to see her lips wrap delicately around the syllables. It discomfited him that he was so relieved and happy that she'd agreed. It was such a small thing and yet it meant more to him than even he understood at the time.
His happiness at her response startled him and self-doubt began to slowly creep into his body. Where was his dignity? His self respect? Ever since she'd come into his life he'd found that he felt strangely unlike himself. Each moment in her presence made him less and less like the person he'd always been. He wondered if this in its own way might be a form of dishonesty. Could adapting and adjusting to the circumstances be a lie if it meant that he had to change his fundamental character? He hated it. Everything. It used to be that he'd never back down from any type of challenge. Now he was almost too scared to face her and the feelings that had lodged themselves deep within his throat whenever she looked him in the eye.
He was really losing his grip on reality. Three months ago he'd have called anyone crazy if they'd suggested that one day he'd be feeling things for Hermione Granger that he'd never thought he'd feel for anyone. That was one of the problems with thinking he was better than everyone else; it made it impossible to let anyone else in. There was only enough room for one ego.
But all this changed when she smiled. Every self-righteous thought and ego-centric illusion melted away in the warmth of her amber colored eyes. It was impossible to think of anything at all, save for flushed cheeks and petal pink lips. She really did have a lovely smile. He wondered why, in the five previous years that he'd known her, he'd never once noticed it before. He wondered vaguely how he'd made it this far in life without it. No one had ever smiled that way at him before. It was as if he became someone else when she turned her smile on him, a smile filled with all the emotions that had been so lacking in his childhood.
In the moments he spent in her presence he didn't care about his ego or reputation. None of that mattered when he was with her. It was only when he was alone that he questioned it. When left alone with his thoughts, Draco descended into a dark place, a place devoid of feeling and warmth. It was a place where the hopes and dreams that manifested themselves in her presence were destroyed. When he was with her he felt free to experience the kind of emotions he'd always secretly longed for but never dreamt were part of his destiny. But in feeling these emotions he'd allowed himself to be open for other emotions, emotions he didn't wish to feel. Along with hope came doubt. Peace brought turmoil. Love created hate. He quickly shook his head at that thought. He didn't love Granger. It wasn't as if the possibility of love was even there. Hell, he wasn't even sure if they were friends, let alone more than friends. He could count the number of times he'd been with her alone on one hand. That wasn't even enough for seeds of friendship to grow into something more, was it? But he did like her in a platonic sort of way. For the moment anyway. The point was that in allowing himself to experience emotions with her, for her, he'd unintentionally opened the floodgates for other emotions. It was these other emotions that were giving him the hardest time.
He'd never felt real guilt before he'd gotten to know her. He'd never felt any kind of real doubt before, not even about his Quidditch skills despite having lost to Potter so many damn times. But he'd never felt doubt about anything he'd really cared about. Now he worried over what she might say or think of him. He watched what he said to avoid her anger or sadness. He doubted himself. It wasn't a comfortable feeling. It had never mattered to him what a girl really thought of him as a boy. Not until now.
Now anytime she turned her amber eyes on him and smiled that smile he hoped was just for him, he melted inside. Just a bit. Draco wondered briefly if this was a permanent thing and if he would be cursed to walk around with liquid filling his body. Maybe it was just a state he was in when he was around her. Maybe around other people, away from her, he'd be himself again. Merlin, he hoped so! It just wouldn't do for him to be a pansy everyday for the rest of his life.
She was still smiling at him and he realized quickly that he was smiling back. Not a sneer, a smile. When had that happened? That wouldn't do. He dropped the smile in an effort to conceal his feelings. He couldn't make eye contact with her. He knew what he would see. Finally giving in, he looked over at her. Her face had fallen and she looked upset. Not angry, not sad, something in between but not really either. Guilt again washed over him. They'd been getting along so well and he'd ruined it. Draco softened.
"Come on, Hermione," he said gently as he reached over and grasped her hand in his own. "Let's see Dumbledore about this letter and then get some dinner."
Her hand was warm in his and he noticed for the first time just how small her hands really were. Her fingers were delicate and thin and Draco entwined them with his larger ones. He stood slowly, his eyes on their hands, and helped her to stand as well. Her book bag lay on the stair by her feet and Draco casually reached down to grab it. He didn't let go of her hand. He swung the book bag over his shoulder before facing her again.
She watched him thoughtfully, emotions and feelings obscured by the nervous blush that had settled hesitantly on her cheeks. She blushed quite frequently he'd noticed. He never would have pegged Granger as such a ready blusher. It seemed rather incongruent with her personality, or at least the personality she projected to her schoolmates.
Draco had always thought of her as somewhat fearless, a person not given to embarrassment. He'd teased her frequently enough over the years and usually she was unresponsive and chose to ignore his snide comments. Even when he harassed her friends she was quick to step in and prevent a confrontation. He'd called her names and made fun of her appearance and scholarly ability. But he had always been met with nothing from her end. In truth, he'd always admired that indomitable quality about her. No matter how crude or harsh he'd been over the years she had always been so resolute. The only time he'd ever been able to get a rise out of her had been in third year when she'd slapped him. He'd felt an odd sort of victory in that slap; he'd known that in his own way, he'd won that battle. If her blushes now were any indication, Draco realized that he was getting to her again, this time possibly in a very different way.
To see her blush now so easily under his gaze was such a departure from the ordinary. He liked it. He saw it as evidence that maybe she was as unnerved as he was by the changes in their behavior towards each other.
They didn't speak as they ascended the rest of the staircase. The hallways were dramatically silent as they passed under row upon row of windows. The only light that fell on them was the sun's reflection off of the moon. Shadows fell and pooled around their feet. They passed between the windows, alternating between the bright light of the moon and the finite darkness between the clear, glass panes. Neither of them thought to use 'Lumos' to cast light around them, so focused were they on the feel of the other's fingers and the contact of their skin.
Dumbledore's office and quarters were located in one of the towers and it took them some time to reach it. As they approached the entrance Draco paused and tightened his grip on Hermione's hand. She looked up at him for the first time since they'd left the staircase.
"What is it? Have you changed your mind?"
She sounded so small and worried. Was she worried for him, he wondered. Tentatively, she squeezed his hand. He could tell that it took some effort on her part to muster up the courage to do something so bold in her estimation.
"Are you nervous?" he asked. He wasn't nervous himself, but he wanted to give her one final opportunity to back out. He honestly didn't want to approach Dumbledore with this, he much preferred to work things out on his own. What they were about to do was very finalizing. He supposed that maybe he should be nervous. It was a rather large gesture going to Professor Dumbledore and drawing lines in the sand. After tonight's meeting, Draco would have chosen a side. There would be no going back, not after this.
He was brought out of his reverie by her reply.
"No, I'm not really nervous. I guess I should be. But I'm not. Professor Dumbledore will know what to do, he always does," she spoke quickly, watching him carefully for a reaction. When he gave her none in return she dropped her eyes to the floor before speaking slowly, quietly again.
"It helps having you here with me for this," she paused as if unsure whether to continue. She looked back up at him hesitantly before speaking again. "I guess what I'm trying to tell you is 'thank you' for doing this, for telling me. It really means so much that you let me share this with you."
He would have replied, he felt it necessary to reply, and he would have, had he known what to say. She was looking at him hopefully, waiting. Draco knew that he had to say something, anything or risk hurting her feelings. It again surprised him that he was so reluctant to hurt her.
"Really, it's nothing. I-" he was cut short by the sound of grinding stone behind him. He quickly turned around to face the entrance to Dumbledore's office just as the Headmaster stepped out into the hallway. The older wizard immediately spotted the two of them as if he'd already known they were there.
As Dumbledore's eyes fell on them from beneath the crescent glass of his half-moon spectacles, Draco felt Hermione drop his hand from her own. His palm and fingers felt cold in the void left by her small hand. He sensed her nervously fidgeting beside him under Dumbledore's penetrating gaze.
The Headmaster, for his part seemed rather amused, but then he rarely ever seemed otherwise. His voice was light and yet bounced off the stone walls surrounding them.
"Ms. Granger, Mr. Malfoy, I'd rather hoped to be able to speak privately with the pair of you. It seems as if you have just provided me with the opportunity. Please, won't you step into my office?"
He swept his arm toward the entrance, his long purple robes billowing as they caught the cool night air. Hermione stepped through first after giving him a small, reassuring smile. The Headmaster bowed his head slowly to Draco beckoning him inside.
He'd been in Dumbledore's office very few times. After the hearing that summer had been the first, but he hadn't really ever paid close attention to the office before. He marveled now at the amount of rare magical artifacts that were scattered about the room. Portraits lined the walls and Draco recognized many of the witches and wizards from his own studies and readings. They gazed down at him, some smiling, some frowning, others whispering to each other behind their hands.
Dumbledore seated himself behind his desk as Draco and Hermione took up the two arm chairs nestled in front of it. The Headmaster watched them carefully with mirth hidden behind his eyes. Draco found it to be extremely disconcerting.
"So, what is the nature of your visit tonight, Mr. Malfoy?" He leaned forward over his desk, his elbows pressing down into the wooden surface before popping back up and exclaiming, "Pardon me! I seem to have done you both an incredible disservice. Could I offer you a sherbet lemon?"
Draco paused and declined, unused to the Headmaster's affinity for sweets. Hermione shook her head politely in refusal. Dumbledore sighed and pushed the small bowl of candies away from himself.
Draco took the time to mull over how he wanted to broach this subject. When the older wizard had finally deposited the candies on the other side of the desk, Draco began slowly.
"Professor, we seem to have a bit of a problem. I received this letter from my mother," he pulled the letter from his pocket and placed it on the desk within reach of the Headmaster's fingertips. "It seems she has made plans to have Hermione killed as retribution for the events of this summer. Hermione- I mean, we thought it best to approach you with this information in hopes that some solution could be reached."
Hermione had sat quietly throughout his speech her eyes trained on him. He'd felt her watching him, the doubts and resentment toward the Headmaster fading away under her calming gaze.
Dumbledore watched him carefully, reading his facial expressions and mannerisms as he spoke. Draco knew that the older wizard was trying to see how he really felt about this situation, whether he had been coerced into coming here or not. The two shared secrets that he hadn't yet shared with anyone else, things that he'd hoped he could one day forget. Things that he pretended didn't exist. If Granger knew his other secrets, she would no longer trust him and they'd lose the little foundation they had created between them.
He pushed those thoughts away and tried to concentrate. The past didn't matter right now. The only thing that could destroy them was the present. Dumbledore picked up the folded letter from the table and asked if he could read it. Draco nodded slowly.
Draco watched as the color drained from the Headmaster's face as he read through the letter quickly. Once, towards the middle, he'd looked up and studied Draco's face as if searching for the truth in it. Draco waited patiently, nervously. He hated this. He hated every moment of worry, every second of fear. He looked over at Hermione. She was watching the phoenix that stood proudly on its perch behind the Headmaster's desk. He took a moment to study Hermione, as Dumbledore had done to him moments before. She too was nervous, but was trying in vain to mask it. Her left hand was balled into a fist as it lay on her lap. Her other hand twirled around a dark curl of her hair.
Dumbledore's phoenix watched them carefully and ruffled its feathers at them. Draco had always been fond of phoenixes in general, they were proud creatures and no matter what befell them, they always rose again from the ashes. He'd hoped that today would have been a burning day. In many ways Dumbledore's phoenix gave him a hope that he too could rise again, this time from the ashes of his family's ruined reputation and overcome the burden left for him by Lucius. Maybe it was time to believe that he really could change, that maybe Dumbledore really did have faith in his abilities to rise above his father's legacy.
The last time he'd been in this office the phoenix had been quite near the end of its cycle and he'd watched it catch fire and burn itself out. He and Dumbledore had been discussing his childhood, or rather he had been forced to talk about it while the Headmaster listened. But while they talked, the small pile of ashes that had once been the phoenix began to move. By the end of the meeting the bird had been restored. It would have been nice to see that again today. But it wasn't to happen.
Dumbledore cleared his throat and pulled Draco's attention back to the letter. It was now lying in front of him, his mother's handwriting calling to him from the desk. He took his eyes from it resolutely.
Dumbledore's voice was kind and sad as he spoke, all sounds of his former mirth abandoned. Draco was surprised by it.
"Mr. Malfoy, Ms. Granger, I'm glad that you chose to bring this to my attention so quickly. It gives us more time to plan for your protection,' he looked at Hermione as he spoke. "I think it safe to say that it would not be particularly wise for you to go on any Hogsmeade weekends until this matter is settled."
Hermione nodded her head in agreement, her grip on her leg lessening.
"Because of the nature of this letter and its other contents," he glanced at Draco beneath his spectacles before continuing, "it would not be fortuitous to go to the Ministry with it. So, Ms. Granger, your protection lies in the knowledge that we have gleaned from Mr. Malfoy's thoughtfulness in sharing this letter with us. I will alert the staff to the danger but will not discuss the other information contained in the letter or how we obtained that knowledge."
"Thank you, sir," Hermione was still very quiet as she sat next to him.
Dumbledore's eyes turned to Draco's. His voice was still so sad and quiet as he spoke. "It troubles me, Mr. Malfoy, to read this. But, I'm truly grateful that you came to me with this knowledge. That you sought out Ms. Granger and showed concern for her wellbeing proves to me that you are indeed on the road to redemption. I can not lie and tell you that I hadn't any doubts about your future when you first came to me this summer. In truth, I feared that you would turn on us all. But, I've watched you closely these many weeks and have been relieved to see the changes in your behavior. It pleases me to no end that you have created a friendship with Ms. Granger out of the events of this summer. I hope that you continue down this path and that your friendship grows. Let it be a lesson to us all, that rivalries and hatred can be overcome by the forces of friendship and love."
Draco didn't know what to say. He still wasn't sure what to make of the Headmaster's faith in him. Why, after all the horrible things that he had done, did the two people he thought would care the least about him choose to place their faith in him? Did Dumbledore truly have hope in him? Could he believe it if it were true? For so many years he'd been so self-reliant, he'd never depended on other for anything. In fact, he'd relished in the knowledge that they depended on him. He'd been the "Prince of Slytherin." Now, what was he, an outcast, shunned by the very same people who had depended upon his ability to take care of him. It pleased him that maybe Hermione now depended on him for her protection. It felt good to take care of someone else, even if that person didn't realize it, even if he didn't really understand it either.
"Thank you, sir."
Dumbledore looked to be slightly unsure of something. What exactly it was, Draco couldn't tell. He appeared as if he wanted to say more, to take the conversation to another level, but he didn't know how to proceed. His voice was extremely hesitant and cautious as he spoke.
"Mr. Malfoy, I am beginning to wonder about something… no, I believe that I am beginning to piece together information that may very well involve you and the incidence of your birth." He again leaned forward over his desk, his eyes piercing and searching as he spoke, "I know that we spoke in detail about this after your hearing but I feel like I still don't have a complete picture of what happened the day of… the day of your father's death."
Draco ignored Hermione's small gasp. The Headmaster however, did not. He turned his gaze to her before speaking.
"I am well aware that you were not completely honest with the Wizengamot at Mr. Malfoy's hearing, Ms. Granger," he paused when Hermione gasped and tried to cut in, but he held his hand up for silence and continued. "While I do not question your motivation, I must say that it was a rather risky move. I understand that you were merely trying to protect Mr. Malfoy, and while that shows loyalty, it could have proven to be fatal. You must have neglected to remember that I quite capable of reading people and noticing if they aren't being completely truthful."
He watched the two of them, Hermione squirming silently in her chair, Draco stoically ready for whatever the Headmaster chose to throw their way. Before continuing again, he turned to Draco and asked, "So, what I would like to know now is what really happened that morning. I want to know everything. Leave no detail out or we may have to resort to using the Pensieve."
The next half and hour or so was spent going over every detail of that morning. Draco did most of the talking, his voice oddly detached. Occasionally Hermione would interject with a comment or addition to something that Draco said. When the discussion finally reached Lucius' death, Draco felt very disconnected from the conversation that he was carrying. Indeed this is how he'd felt the last time he'd spoken at length with Dumbledore, after the incident with Madam Pomfrey in the Hospital Wing following the hearing. He shuddered to remember it and was glad that Dumbledore didn't bring it up now in front of Hermione.
He turned his thoughts back to the speech he was giving.
"I assume I inadvertently used wandless magic to kill him. I'm not really sure how it happened. I didn't concentrate on it or anything. Usually when I've done wandless magic in the past I've had to concentrate very hard on what I wanted to accomplish before I saw any results," he paused in the telling, his mouth dry, not wanting to continue. "Really, is all this necessary? We've gone over all it before."
"I believe it is most certainly necessary, not only for Ms. Granger's safety, but for your own as well. Please continue. What happened as Lucius died?"
Draco was very reluctant to go into this again but saw that he had no choice. He'd come here like Hermione had suggested and now was forced to relive every moment of that morning. He wanted so badly to forget. The last time they'd gone over this he'd left Lucius' declaration out of it. This time, he would have to tell of it.
"He fell over. It looked like he had a pain in his chest or stomach, I couldn't tell. He told me that Voldemort would know what I had done. He told me that I was to be hunted by the other Death Eaters…"
"What happened next, Mr. Malfoy?"
The last part of his father's speech had troubled him to no end these past few months. He'd tried researching it quietly in the library and had requested books from the Manor. But he'd met with no new knowledge. He often wondered if his father had made it up, like a horrible pet name or something.
"Before he died he said to me, 'The Dark Lord knows everything,'" Draco paused, unsure if he could continue. Dumbledore nodded his head slowly, urging him on. Hermione sat up straighter in her chair and tentatively placed her hand on his own as it rested on the arm of his chair. He spoke clearly and with all the conviction that had been lacking in his speech up til now. "He said to me, 'The Dark Lord knows everything, my Half-Blood Prince.'"
Dumbledore sank down into his chair. He looked so old and haggard. Draco was sure he'd never seen the Headmaster look so worn before. A quick glance at Hermione proved that she was extremely worried by what they saw. She brushed a tear from her face with the hand that wasn't locked with his. As if sensing him, she turned and smiled sadly, hollowly. She squeezed his hand in an attempt at comfort.
Some minutes later Dumbledore spoke again. He was so much quieter than he had been before, and it appeared that he was battling some inner demons for control of his voice.
"I have made too many mistakes this past year in withholding information from people deserving of the truth. While I wish to protect you, my son, from all the evils of the world, I fear that you will be forced to fight your own battles and conquer your own demons," He looked Draco square in the eye and said, "I was made aware of one prophecy that foretells the future of our society. This knowledge led to the deaths of two people very close to my heart and the mental demise of two others equally as brave. Two boys were left without parents," Hermione gasped in recognition and awareness. Draco could see the calculations working in her brain, each thought conveyed on her face. Dumbledore noticed as well and addressed her, "I would assume that Mr. Potter has not made anyone aware of his discovery. I had rather hoped that he would sense the advantages to relaying his knowledge to his friends. Please, Ms. Granger, do not pressure him for the information. He will tell you when he is ready. Of that I am certain. Do not carry anger towards him over this. Do not fault him for my mistakes."
She nodded slowly and sank back into her chair. Her hand was limp in his own now. He waited impatiently for the Headmaster to address him again.
"With this new knowledge that you have brought to me I feel it necessary not to make the mistakes of my past a second time. As much as I wish to protect you all, I know that this is out of my hands. If there was anything that I could do to relieve this situation, know that I would. I have made the mistake of keeping Harry's prophecy a secret much longer than was necessary and for that Sirius Black was killed. I will not make the same mistake again. Mr. Malfoy, there was another prophecy, one that I believe involves you."
Draco let no emotions cross his face, though he was burning up inside from the curiosity of it. And the dread. Whatever it was couldn't be good or else Dumbledore wouldn't seem so reluctant to tell him.
"I'm ready, Professor, for whatever you have to tell me." In truth he'd been doled out so many secrets and lies in the last few months that one other secret wasn't going to faze him.
"What I believe to be your prophecy, Mr. Malfoy, is much more cryptic and vague than Mr. Potter's. I have been mulling it over for the last sixteen years and still I have no more knowledge than I did that first day. But I will tell you and you can make of it what you will," the Headmaster turned to look at Hermione one last time that evening and said, "It is not up to me whether you should stay or go, I believe that decision is up to Mr. Malfoy."
The Headmaster turned to him in question and Hermione looked down at their hands, still resting on the arm of the chair.
"She can stay."
He wasn't quite sure why he'd allowed that. He had every intention of sending her out packing. But he couldn't. Her hand was too warm, too small. It felt too good in his own. He didn't want to lose that, not yet anyway.
She looked back up at him, her eyes showing all the trust and faith that they had on the staircase. She was so happy that he was willing to share this with her. He didn't want to spoil it.
"If you're ready, Mr. Malfoy," Draco nodded his consent to the Headmaster's question. "I could retrieve my Pensieve but that wouldn't really work for both of you. It may be simpler for me just to tell you."
Again Draco nodded.
Dumbledore told a very similar story to the one he'd told Harry after Sirius' death, though neither Draco nor Hermione were aware of it. He left out the information of Harry's prophecy, just relaying that Trelawney had given it and sank slowly back down into her chair. His voice was calm and quiet as he spoke the words of the prophecy. Draco felt his throat tighten and his heart beat erratically in his chest. He could feel Hermione's pulse hammering equally fast in his hand. The words of the prophecy sunk in slowly, dangerously, as if they were aware that they were unwelcome.
"The fate of our world is divided in two.
What once was old will again be new.
Black and White will become Grey,
The Grey to be reformed like clay.
In the deepest dark a spark is born,
Though it's true his heart is torn.
What will be lost will come again,
Though it will be where it had not been.
As the old moon fades into the new,
The Half-Blood Prince is crowned askew..."
A/N: If you didn't read the Author's Note at the beginning of the chapter, I urge you to read it now. There is information about a known plagiarist that attempted to steal this story.
I've already started on Ch. 17 and am approximately half-way through. So… maybe it will be ready by Tuesday or Wednesday of this week.
Please leave a review! I really appreciate all the comments I've received from readers so far.