sheesh, getting feedback is like pulling teeth around this place. come on people, im a starving artist here! feed me back, lol. anyway, this is the BIG chappy, so savor it slowly. there is one more, but you all know this is what youve been waiting for. bon apetite!
Not too far from the caves she heard a loud knocking coming from deeper in. She followed the sound, curious. Those Others were supposed to be coming after them any time now. She crept quietly through the trees, homing in on the sound. Just as she was about to reach the area where the noise was coming from, it stopped. She paused, listening. A moment later she heard Jack's voice. Her breath went out in a relieved whoosh. Then, came Sawyer's voice. Even better. She continued on towards the men. After a few paces, she could hear what they were saying.
"So, I guess this is pretty much good-bye, then."
"Yeah, I guess it is… Good luck, Sawyer."
She moved passed a big palmetto, and could finally see them. Jack started away, but Sawyer called him back.
"Jack!"
The doctor turned, and walked back a few steps. Sawyer scooped up his shirt, and pulled it on.
"About a week before we all got on the plane, got to talkin' with this man in a bar in Sydney. He was American, too. Doctor.
"I been on some benders in my time, but this guy.. he was goin' for an all-time record. It turns out, this guy has a son; son's a doctor, too. They had some kind of big time fallin' out. The guy knew it was his fault, even though his son was back in the states, thinkin' the same damn thing. See, kids are like dogs: you knock 'em around enough, they'll think they did something to deserve it.
"Anyway, there's a pay phone in this bar, and this guy… Christian. Tells me he wishes he had the stones to pick up the phone and call his kid… tell him he's sorry. That he's a better doctor than he'll ever be. He's proud… And he loves him."
Jack looked like he was going to drop to his knees right there. Lina's own legs felt weak. Her mouth actually hung open, but she didn't breathe. Sawyer's eyes were so full of compassion. There was such raw emotion there, she wouldn't have believe that he'd ever have volunteered it willingly.
"I had to take off, but… Somethin' tells me, he never got around to makin' that call. Small world, huh?"
Jack nodded, struggling to pull himself together. "Yeah."
"Good luck, Jack."
As Jack left, she watched Sawyer swipe his sleeve across his forehead and eyes, in what may very well have been an attempt to clear the sweat away. She realized that, yes, there was a very good chance you could fall for a man like Sawyer, if he let you. Whether he knew he was letting you, or not.
Lina knew Sawyer believed, either way, this was the last time he would see Jack. So, he felt safe in opening himself like that, knowing he would never have to deal with the consequences of someone knowing he was really a human being under all his thorns.
She felt very sure, in that moment, that she would never see him again herself. The way her heart felt layed open, as it did, she wanted more than just a good-bye on the beach. Maybe it wasn't the most rational way of thinking, but the fact that she would never see the man again propelled her into the most rash decision she'd ever made in her life. Both because she would never get to see him again, and that she would never have to see him again. The duality of the thought would have disgusted her at any other time, but at this moment, all she wanted was something to keep, to remember him, just as she saw him now; before he left and turned back into the person he was before he came to the island.
Sawyer looked up when she came upon his little clearing. When he saw her face, his expression instantly concerned.
"What's wrong?" he asked, coming towards her. "What happened?"
"Nothing's wrong, I-" she began, but he cut her off, taking hold of her shoulders.
"If nothin's wrong, why do you look like someone just died?" he demanded.
"Look, I know you're leaving, and there's-"
Again, he cut her off. "You're trying to talk me into staying?"
"No, I'm not!" she said, quickly. "I know there's no reason for you to stay. I-"
"No walls on the beach, again?" he growled, releasing her. She made a sound of frustration.
"Shut up and let me talk!"
He raised his eyebrows at her shout, but said nothing. He gestured for her to go ahead, glaring at her with narrowed eyes.
"It's true, I don't want you to go, but I know you won't stay. I don't want you to stay."
"Yeah, that makes a whole lotta sense."
"I just want something before you leave," she admitted, her mouth dry as a desert.
"What, then? I gave most of that crap to the Doc already," He said, annoyed, bending to pick up the end of the bamboo log he'd just cut. "You know where the rest is. Go! Take whatever you want. I don't need it."
Lina stepped on the wood, knocking it from his hands.
"Whatever you got to say, you'd best get if off your chest before you piss me off, girl," he warned. She lunged forward (lunging is the only way to describe it) and he was so surprised, he actually took a step back. She caught his shirt with one hand, and the other cupped the back of his head, pulling his face down toward her. In for a penny, in for a pound, she quickly pressed her lips to his, fully expecting him to pull away and tell her she was crazy. He didn't.
Instead, his arms came around her with crushing force, pulling her body against his. He tilted his head, forcing his tongue deep into her mouth. Sawyer tasted like starfruit and Marlboro. Somehow, that made her want more. Her fingers threaded into his hair, and pulled, urging him closer, harder. He growled into her mouth. Her other hand was trapped between their bodies, her fingernails digging into his shirt.
Sawyer leaned forward, putting her off balance, and then sank to the ground, pushing her down before him. The leaf litter softened the jungle floor, but sticks and twigs still poked her in the back and legs, here and there. She didn't care. They could have been on a bed of hot coals, and she wouldn't have felt it. Inevitably, he broke the kiss, breathing hard onto her lips.
"Jesus," he panted. He tried to pull back, but she tugged his hair
"Don't stop," she said, her voice pleading in a way she'd never heard before.
"Oh, I don't plan to, it's just I wish you'd picked a better time for this. I generally like to take things a little slower," he drawled. She squirmed impatiently under his weight. It made him chuckle. She tried to pull him into another kiss, but he wasn't having it.
"Just tell me why," he demanded, softly. "Why me; why now? Is this gonna be you're dirty little secret?"
"You know its not like that," she insisted.
"Just want somethin' to remember old Sawyer by, in case he don't come back?" The question had an almost concealed bitterness to it.
"It's more than that, and we both know you're not coming back," she said, quietly. It hurt to say it out loud like that. It sounded too real. He leaned close enough to kiss, and looked hard into her eyes.
"What if I do?" he challenged.
Her gaze didn't waiver. Words came out of her mouth that she had not intended, but they were true none the less.
"That's a chance I'm willing to take."
It sounded ambiguous, but she knew that he knew exactly what she meant. He was a chance she was willing to take. She didn't know what he thought of her answer, though. He didn't say anything. Not even a snide remark to get the last word.
His mouth descended on hers hungrily. Suddenly, his hands were everywhere. One found its way under her shirt, while the other slid down over the front of her shorts. All she seemed to want to do was pull him closer, impossibly close. She wanted him to engulf her, somehow. He pulled away, rocking back on his knees, and, ignoring the buttons, tore his shirt over the top of his head. She made an odd hiccuping sound upon seeing all that skin and muscle. He, apparently, found it amusing.
He covered her with his body again, his mouth finding her neck this time. Those silver teeth sent shivers down her spine. His skin was like fire under her hands, soft; solid muscled slid beneath her touch. How he could be so soft, and so hard at the same time, like a velvet bag of river rocks, eluded her. He tugged her shirt up, hands hot and rough on her tender skin. Sliding away, his mouth found her stomach, placing one hot kiss there, before busying itself a bit higher up.
Leaning to one side, he easily popped the button on her shorts, tugging the zipper down, and slid his hand inside. She bucked at his touch there, a gasping moan curling from her throat of its own accord. His mouth was on hers again, swallowing her whimpers.
"Look at me," he ordered, against her lips. She looked up into his eyes, as his fingers invaded her. The lust she saw there, or the sensation he caused, set her stumbling into orgasm. Her eyes squeezed closed involuntarily, and her back arched towards him. When she opened her eyes again, heart beating madly, he was smiling at her smugly.
"Appetizer?" The way he said it made the word sound indecent. It made her stomach quiver. He ran just the tips of his fingers down her legs, and back up, in a way that was somehow electric. "Stand up," he commanded.
She stood. Sawyer remained kneeling, and looked up at her devilishly as he tugged her shorts down. She stepped out of them, and fought the urge to cover herself as he looked her over. Her hands were in fists at her sides. He played his fingers over the pale skin of her thighs and hips. Her stomach clenched when he blew on her belly, then leaned closer. When his tongue darted out to lick the inside of her thigh, her legs gave out. He steadied her with strong hands on her hips, easing her down onto his lap. The coarseness of his jeans against her sensitive skin was an amazing sensation.
"Arms up," he told her and, when she complied, he pulled her shirt up and off. His skin burned hers, and she couldn't get enough. He pushed her hips back a bit, and then took her hands, placing them on the waist of his jeans. She hesitated, swallowing hard.
"Go on," he coaxed, softly. Her hands shook ever so slightly as she unbuttoned and unzipped. She knew what she was to do next, but somehow, could not make her hand move. Sawyer took her hand, and guided where he wanted it to go. When she felt the throbbing pulse, she wrapped her hand around it.
He hissed between his teeth. He squirmed a bit, trying to push his jeans down without tossing her off his lap. They managed well enough. Lina could not take her eyes off it. Not that she had never seen one before, but this was obviously different. This was Sawyer, and he would be inside her. Transfixed by the way the muscles twitched in her hand, she caressed him slowly, almost reverently. He moaned, his head falling forward to rest against hers. She gripped him again, and started to run her hand up the length of him. He growled and caught her wrist.
"Careful, or you'll ruin the finale," he warned, pulling her hands away. He pulled her hips closer and sought her mouth again, teasing her lips with his tongue. He slid his hand between them to position himself, and then lifted his hips, entering her. "Fuck!"
She gasped, clinging to his shoulders, as he slid in. The twinge of pain made her gasp again. His hands tightened on her hips harshly.
"What- Are you fucking kidding me!" he ground out, between clenched teeth.
"James," she began. His eyes were full of lust and shock.
"Aren't you, like, 25?" he demanded.
"Twenty-three," she corrected, pathetically.
"Still!" He exclaimed. "I don't fucking believe this!"
"I'm sorry!"she whined. What did he want from her? She was a non-people person who wrote hotel brochures and English text books for a living!
"You should have told me," he reprimanded.
"You wouldn't have-" she began. He made a sound of frustration.
"I don't want to hurt you!" His tone was pleading, as if he was asking her to make it not true. Blue eyes begged her for something she didn't understand
Lina took his face in her hands, and slowly arched her hips, trying to impale herself upon him.
"Don't," he warned, but she ignored it. One hand slipped down, between them. She dragged her nails over his stomach, and felt him twitch inside her. Her hand slid around to the small of his back, so she could gain leverage and increase her downward force. She leaned in and gently bit his bottom lip. Suddenly, he surged upward, tearing into her fully. Baptism by fire. The pain made her cry out.
"I'm sorry," he gasped.
"Don't you dare apologize for this," she commanded, and silenced him with her mouth. She arched against him again, and he began to move within her. It took her a few moments to match his rhythm. It was glorious. It was like the plane crash all over again, only she was crashing upwards. She wondered briefly if she could touch God. Then, Sawyer reached down and began to caress her, and she did.
She sobbed, and screamed, and cried his name. His real name, James. And when his thrusts became erratic and he tried to pull away, she held on tighter, not letting him, and felt him explode inside her. Then, she was floating back down, vaguely aware that she was crying quietly into his neck. He finally engulfed her, and she sank into oblivion.