Debauchery
GreedDisclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.
Warning: Femmslash.
Thanks:
Hoshi-chan1: Uh... ain't that what I'm doing? Thanks. :)
ZelzSaihitei: Hehe. Well, I try. I try. No really... I do. -- Just messing. Yep. I wish the words flew from my mouth as well as they flew through my hands. Yes. It sucks sometimes. I dunno whent the end will be out. Hopefully soon. -
Angulus Letum: Heart wrenching? Whoa. Thanks. :)
000
The pestering thoughts wouldn't cease. Wouldn't leave her be. Let her alone. They just refused to be rid of so easily. She felt banished. Banished from the only place she belonged. It seemed as though she was no longer one third of the "golden trio". When she looked back, back at their old conquest, it seemed so long ago. Like a long forgotten memory. One that occurred unprohibitedly, while her defenses were down and it seemed as though her mind would actually achieve a bit of peace. But memory, guilt and shame wouldn't let her forget her wretched ties.
Everything around her seemed to move slower than time. The students that brushed past her were gone before she could react properly. She was one person standing in front of a fast moving storm. Everything went by her too fast for comprehension. That was one of the many reasons why she'd only found out just now about the rumors. Rumors that circled like a cloud of dust around her, around Ron, Ginny, even Harry.
…And Pansy Parkinson.
It was just a small whispered exchange between two third years as she passed by them in the hall. Just a few traded words. Excited giggles and disgusted remarks.
"Did you hear about that Griffyndor and…"
"I know!
"…Pansy Parkinson. A Slytherin!"
"I heard they were caught in the…"
"…Gross."
"Ew… who was the Griffyndor?"
"You'll never believe it…"
"Try me."
"…Ginny Weasely."
It was then that the only sound Hermione could hear was the rushing of blood pounding in her ears. She didn't know what she felt. Anger, jealousy, sorrow. There were just too many swirling thoughts. Too many emotions to just pinpoint one. Ginny and Pansy. Pansy Parkinson.
The two names echoed in her mind. Haunting her. They wailed relentlessly, became whispered gasps and lengthy moans. She could see them together. Eyes closed, bodies writhing in ecstasy. Pansy moaning and gasping at the wonderful things Ginny did with that tongue of hers. The wonderful things she did with her hands and her lips. Hermione dropped her books and headed straight for the dormitories. She didn't know what she was doing, just that she was running. She couldn't figure out what would possess her to do so. Why she would drop everything and just run.
The brunette bounded up the staircase towards the Griffyndor common room. She hadn't felt the sting of unshed tears in her eyes, or the way her breath rattled when she exhaled. She hadn't felt the burn of exhaustion on her cheeks. All she'd felt was the immense sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.
Hermione especially didn't notice the person walking down the staircase. Instead, she bumped into the tall figure and fell right on her backside. The hazel eyed woman sat there, partly stunned and mostly uncaring. She sat looking down at the ground and finally letting the tears fall. Why couldn't it be easy? Why couldn't she just choose?
"…Why?"
000
Her tone was dejected, lost, confused… drained. How was I to answer that question? She must've heard by now, with all the rumors circulating. She must've heard about…
I couldn't think. Her eyes looked so dull, so lifeless. I just couldn't think or focus or even breath. Everything was gone and all she had to do was look at me with those eyes. With those questioning eyes that wanted to know why. Those eyes that bore into me and demanded honesty. I couldn't take it. I felt scrutinized. Ostracized. Analyzed. What was she thinking? What did she want?
I felt my mouth move, words tumbled out slowly, cynically. "Nice to see you around Hermione."
It seemed as though she'd snapped out of a daze. Like she saw me for the first time. And she had that look, the 'Please forgive me' look. I couldn't. I just had to look away. I wouldn't be used again. I wouldn't fall as easily. I didn't want to. Yet… I wanted so badly to drop down onto the ground next to her and hold her. Just hold her until I felt I had to let go. Which would probably have been never.
"Ginny?"
She sounded so lost and her eyes… those hazel eyes, with flecks of golden cinnamon. They held me there, enticed me, entranced me. Made me take a step closer. Made my senses lessen. My defenses drop. She made me want her with a simple look. A simple pleading look. After everything. Everything. How could I have been doing that? How could I have been drawn in again? How could she want me? How could she?
"How could you?" The strained whimper didn't come from me. It didn't. I wish it didn't. My throat was clogged and I wanted to cry. I wanted to bawl and thrash about. But I couldn't. I couldn't.
She was still sitting on the ground. Her eyes stared at me. Perplexed. Big hazel eyes penetrated me. Watched my every expression. Every tiny movement. She seemed awed, mesmerized yet so skeptical. So unsure and unaware. I wanted to scream. I wanted to run away. To touch her, kiss her. To do something.
"Hermione…" I sunk down to my knees. I was getting to close. I had to stop. Stop before I was too close. Before I was too lost. Too drawn in. But I couldn't. My mind told me no. It told me to pull away, break away before something happened. But my body longed for those hands, for those lips and teeth and that skin. My body lusted for it. Desired it. And it made my mind so clouded by that want that I found my lips a mere centimeter from hers, my eyes half lidded and soft breath tickling my skin. All she needed to do was close that small gap and I would be lost. Gone.
Her lips moved closer but she pulled back just slightly. It was teasing. She was teasing. We were so close I could feel the heat emitting off of her. It tickled my senses. Made my lips itch to be pressed to hers. It made my blood boil and the ache in my bones intensify. I wanted it so badly just to… just to…
Before I could think, before I could swallow half a breath, her lips were on mine. Her hands in my hair, all over my body. Touching me everywhere and leaving a trail of tingles everywhere. It was so pleasurably unbearable. It'd been so long since I kissed her. It felt like an eternity. Her tongue lashed out, hot and wet and pushing into my all too inviting mouth. She was moving so fast. Her lips, tongue, hands were searing hot against me. They burned. Oh, they burned.
I moved so slowly. Savoring everything. I ran my palms up and down her back, my hands slid through her hair, moved up along her thighs and around her slim waist. I can't remember how long it was until I opened my eyes. Opened them and found her staring back at me. Her cherry tinted lips moved as if to speak but not a sound was made. She was going to tell me something. And I knew it wouldn't be good. I'd hoped the games would stop. That she'd figure out what she wanted. I knew what I wanted. I always knew. And she knew just as well. I wanted her.
"Ginny…" her eyes bore her soul. "I'm sorry."
She stood up slowly. Like she didn't want to leave. I didn't want her to leave either. I didn't want her gone again. After she'd trapped me again. I didn't want her gone. She was going to run. I could see it in her eyes. She was going to run and I could do nothing about it. She wouldn't choose me.
I looked away from her. I couldn't stand to keep her gaze. I couldn't stand to have those eyes looking into me. The malice in my voice made me wince. "What for? It was just a bit of fun. That's what you said in the beginning right?"
I could tell from the way she stood frozen for an instant of a second. I hurt her. It made me feel better… to make her hurt. "R-Right. Just a bit of fun."
My feet took their own objective and I walked up right next to her. My shoulder almost touching hers. I could feel that radiating heat again; hear the soft sigh in her breathing. I kept walking around her until I was behind her. My lips barely touched her ear. My hand moved to her stomach, around her waist. I just stood like that for a while, letting my breath tease the sensitive nerves in her ear.
"Anytime you feel like having a bit of fun again…" I nibbled lightly on her earlobe and smiled at the small groan she'd made. I rasped low into her ear, "Don't be ashamed to come and play."
000
He sneered angrily. His face was beet red. Right up to the roots on the top of his head. His usually smiling light blue eyes became cloudy and dull. He'd seen it all. Every movement. Every action. And the meanings underlining those despicable actions. Those betraying movements. He couldn't believe they'd go behind his back again. That Hermione, being one of his closest friends and the only woman he'd ever loved, would go against his simple request.
The scene before him was like a chessboard. Every action had a reaction. He watched closely how they'd acted and reacted towards one another. Hermione had dropped her books and went running up the stairs. And he'd followed.
She ran and bumped into Ginny. The staircase moved. He could see them but they couldn't see him.
Hermione sat there; seemingly unaware of who she'd bumped into. And then Ginny went to see if Hermione was okay and they just stared. For the longest time. They just stared at each other. And then… then they just clashed. Pressed as hard as they could to each other. Lips, bodies, everything. All melting into one. The tension was so blatantly obvious. Even a blind man could see it.
They pulled apart and stared again. Differently. It was different than before. Like they'd found something they missed. He could feel it in the pit of his stomach. The bubbling rage and jealousy.
The next move was Hermione's. Hermione got up and began to walk away. But then Ginny… Ginny did that thing. Ginny did things to her that he'd never done before. Maybe that was why she didn't want him. Maybe that was why…
"Ron."
The voice was calm. It made him feel guilty. Ashamed. Of what he'd been thinking, of the fact that he'd been watching something private. Something he wasn't supposed to watch. Something forbidden.
The smear of shame seeped across his cheeks in a color of red deeper than before. Emerald eyes stared him down. Knew what he was thinking. Knew what he'd been thinking. The person took a step closer and the reflection of light glinting off of blinding lenses made him cower.
"I was just…" He trailed off.
"I know what you were doing."
Ron looked at the man before him incredulously. "Spying on me?"
"No." He frowned. "Stopping you from doing something incredibly stupid."
"And what might that be?"
Emerald eyes glared. "Can't you just wake up Ron? You're making it harder than it's supposed to be. Just let her go."
"I have!"
"No you haven't."
The taller man gritted his teeth. "I have too. I asked her nicely Harry. I asked her to keep away from my sister. She's the one who's making everything so compli-"
The raven haired man took a threatening step closer, "Then answer me this Ron… why are you here?"
"I don't know what you're getting at."
"You know damn well," Harry's temper was running short. He couldn't take it anymore. They were supposed to be friends. They were supposed to stick by one another. They were supposed to be his family. And they were falling apart. "If you'd really let her go. If you'd really loved her, if you really love her… you wouldn't be here. You wouldn't be so bothered by what they're doing."
"She's my sister Harry. She can't-"
"Just shut up! You- you're just so fucking dense sometimes. I can't stand it Ron. It doesn't matter! I'm sure you've heard the rumors. The one's about your sister and Parkinson! Do you do anything about that! Do you even give a shit!"
"I just-"
"No Ron. Listen. You don't care as much as you say you do. If you really did care, you'd be worried about Ginny and Parkinson rather than Ginny and Hermione. You truly are a selfish git."
The raven haired boy shook his head sorrowfully. He looked at Ron with a sort of weakness. Vulnerability. "Stop acting like a jealous ex and act like a real brother. Act like a real friend Ron."
Taken aback by all the swirling emotions in his best friend's voice, he stood there motionlessly. Apprehensiveness written plain across his face. He didn't know what to say. What to do. Whether to believe the complicated instructions of his heart or the greedy exhibitions of his mind. Or even the hurt in his soul. He did not know what to do next. So there he stood. Shocked by his friend's blunt vulnerability. Hurt by his sister and love's display. And betrayed by his own emotions.
He was lost. And he didn't know how to find his way back home.
000
Author's Note:
Hehe. So yeah. I dunno. I guess I like it all complicated and crap. Yep. Makes it fun as hell to write. .
Hope you guys loved it. And if you love it, like it or even hate it… leave me a god damn review. I was sad when I only saw like… 3 or 4. I was like… Wha? Is it really that bad? I dunno. I need attention. A lot of attention. Shower me with it. ;)
Have fun kids!