"Sweetie, you should really phone Sam. I'm going to go see about getting you released into my care," Abbey said gently.
"Can you pass me my purse?"
Mara didn't care that you shouldn't use a cell phone in the hospital, there was nothing in her room that could be effected. She dialed Sam's cellphone number and waited for it to be picked up.
Sam felt the vibrator on his phone and made his way out of the ballroom, hoping whoever it was gave him time to answer the phone. Out in the hall way he flipped his phone open, noticed it was Mara calling and smiled.
"Hello, beautiful."
"Hey, are you alone?"
"Yes, do you want to have a little phone sex?" Sam asked.
Mara sighed deeply into the phone. Abbey had offered to make this phone call, but she turned her down. Now she wanted to change her mind.
"Baby, what's wrong?"
Tears began gently falling down her face. "Sam, I'm in GW. I've lost our baby again."
Sam's face fell. They thought Mara had finally made it past the first critical three months. They were all set to announce that she was fourteen weeks pregnant after the State visit.
"Oh, Sweetie. I'm sorry. How are you doing?"
"I'm dealing. I've grown accustomed to hearing 'I'm sorry, Mrs. Seaborn, but you've had a miscarriage'. I knew the second the pain started. I told Leslie to call Abbey and get her to meet me at GW because I was having a miscarriage."
"How was the pain this time?"
"Same as last time, sharp stabbing pain, but instead of standing at a hot dog cart with Josh, I was sitting at my desk."
"I'm on my way home. I'll hijack Air Force One if I have to."
"No, Sam, stay there. You are sixteen hours away in Australia and there is nothing you can do. I'll feel better knowing one of us is actually doing their job."
"I'll feel better having you in my arms, reminding you how very much I love you."
"I know that, Sam. Abbey has gone to get me released. She's going to stay with me at the house until you all get back. This is going to sound cruel, but I think I need my Mom more than I need you right now."
"It's not cruel, Mara. I understand," Sam replied quickly, feeling hurt none the less.
"You'll be back in six days and I should be in a better place by then."
"Promise me that you'll call even if you don't want me to say a word, just to hear me breathe."
Mara smiled softly, "I promise that if I want to hear you breathe, I'll call you and I won't even think about the time difference. I also give you permission to get smashed if you feel like it."
Sam overheard Abbey telling Mara they'd be gone in half an hour or so. "Sweetie, is that Abbey?"
"Yeah."
"Can I talk to her for a minute?"
Sam didn't get an answer, he just heard Abbey saying hello.
"Abbey, she says she doesn't want me to come back, but I'm not inclined to believe her."
"Sweetie, I'm sorry for your loss, but I really think that she'd feel even worse if you came back early. Hold on a second, Sam."
Mara's doctor came in the room to check on her one last time and Abbey slipped outside the room so she could talk to Sam properly.
"Sorry, Sam. The doctor came in to clear her discharge, but now I can speak freely. Sam, the first thing she said when I saw her was that she failed you again..."
"Oh, Abbey. That's why I want to be there! I need to make her understand that she's never failed me," Sam replied with tears streaming down his face.
"I know, Sam, but she needs time to grieve on her own before she can face you. She was grateful that you were halfway around the world, because she wouldn't have to look you in the eyes and tell you. She needs to get all the demons out of her head before she sees you. You have to stay away for her sake, Sam."
"Why does she take this out on herself Abbey? How can she even think for a second that I blame her?"
"Sam, she knows you don't blame her, but she can't stop blaming herself. I don't know why she does it but she does. We've got to let her come to terms with this the only way she knows how. Do you really want to hear her wish that she never met you because then maybe you'd have fallen in love with Ainsley and have a beautiful baby boy by now?"
"Oh, God!" Sam gasped, not able to choke back the tears.
"See, Sam, the last thing on earth she'd ever want to do is hurt you, which is what would end up happening and she can't handle that right now."
"Fine, I'll stay here, give me a second and then put her back on the line, please."
CJ had wandered out of the ballroom, wondering where Sam had disappeared to. When she saw him leaning against the wall on the phone, she was about to turn around, but something inside her told her not to move. She heard a sniffle, a few deep breaths and started slowly walking in his direction.
"Mara, I love you and I'll check in on you in a few hours."
"'Okay. I'm so sorry, Sam. I love you."
"It's not your fault, Mara. I love you too and I'll see you in six days."
"Bye," Mara whispered and hit end on her phone.
Sam slid down the wall to the floor and started crying. CJ flew over to him and dropped down to her knees pulling him into her arms.
"I'm here, Spanky. Just let it all out," she said softly as she started stroking the back of his hair.
CJ's knees were numb by the time Sam had finally stopped crying and was able to tell her what happened. Her heart broke for them both, but especially for Sam. She knew how much he wanted to be a father and he was such a natural at it. She loved watching him with Ainsley's son, Michael, who was about to turn a year old. Sam always seemed more excited to see Jenna than Mara, and even a blind person could see how much Jenna adored her 'Unca' Sam.
"How about we go get a drink, Sam? I don't know about you, but I sure as hell need one."
CJ pointed out an empty booth in the corner of the bar and sent Sam over to it. She ordered and paid for two triple JD's on the rocks and sat down beside Sam.
"Ceeg, normally when there are only two people, they sit across from each other."
"I want to sit beside you Sam, so sue me," she replied and rested her left hand on his knee.
"You know Mara gave me permission to get drunk."
"Well, the safest place to get drunk is in a hotel room so if you want, we can finish our drinks, go raid my mini bar and head to your room."
"You'd endure a hangover for me?"
"Considering you saved my life once, Spanky, it's the least I can do."
"Thanks, Ceeg."
"Anytime, mi amour."
Fifteen minutes later, they were on the elevator. CJ filled her ice bucket with all the little bottles of alcohol in her mini bar as well as the M&M's and cashew nuts. She decided she might as well make herself comfortable and changed into her silk pj's. She crossed the hall and knocked on Sam's door.
"Comfy?"
"Yup. Now, are we going to use a glass or drink straight out of the bottles?"
Sam twisted the cap off a small bottle of vodka and took a long sip. "That answer your question?"
CJ took a few sips of coke and poured a bottle of rum into it then sat down at the top of the bed next to Sam.
"So do you want to talk or do this in silence?"
"It's not fair, Ceeg. Three miscarriages in five years."
"I know, Sam. It's cruel if you ask me. Of all the people I know, you are the person most suited to being a Daddy. Why haven't you guys given adoption serious thought?"
"Truthfully, even time we start looking into it, Mara ends up getting pregnant. I don't think Mara could handle another miscarriage."
"I wish I could snap my fingers and make this all better, Sam. I think you need to just go for an adoption and if Mara becomes pregnant, hope you end up with two instead of one child."
"Tell me, Ceeg, why isn't a woman as amazing as you married?"
"I don't know. Are you sure you don't have a brother, Sammy?"
Sam chuckled for the first time in hours. "I'm sure. Mara said something yesterday about a professor at Georgetown who isn't married, and upon seeing a picture of you said you were a fox."
"A fox? Well, that's a step up from a chick at least. So, is he cute?"
"I have no idea. He dropped in to introduce himself before Mara's class last night. He asked if he could audit her class and then walked her and a few students back to her office, where he saw the picture."
"Maybe I'll call Mara in a few days and cheer her up by asking her to play matchmaker."
"That just may help and give her something else to think about. To finding you a 'Mister'."
Sam opened up another little bottle, clinked it against CJ's coke bottle and downed it in one gulp. They talked about various things until they had drained all the little bottles. Sam had fallen asleep with his head in CJ's lap. CJ wasn't exactly comfortable sitting up in bed resting, her back against the headboard, but she didn't have the heart to wake him up.
********************
Ginger and Charlie had just returned from having a scrumptious shrimp dinner overlooking Sydney Harbour. They ran into a miserable looking Josh near the elevators.
"Ginger, do you know where Sam and CJ disappeared to? They left me alone with the President and the Prime Minister."
"Ouch. I don't know where they are. Did you try their rooms?"
"Yeah. No answer."
"Oh, wait a second, today is Wednesday right? They normally have their torrid affair on Wednesdays," Ginger replied with a straight face.
"Ha, Ginger. If you see either of them, let them know they are both now on my list and it's a very serious list."
Ginger chuckled softly while Charlie rolled his eyes. "You going back to your room, Josh?"
"No. I'm meeting Toby in the bar for a drink. You want to join us?"
"Sure. Ginger?"
"Nah, I'm going to call my husband and then get some shut eye. See you both at breakfast."
Ginger decided to check in on Sam. She pulled his card key out and opened his door. She was surprised to see the lights on, the bedside tables littered with empty mini-bar bottles and smiled softly when she noticed Sam was fast asleep with his head resting in CJ's silk clad lap. CJ had been dozing, but when she heard the little click of the door it woke her up. She had immediately put her finger up to her lip to warn whoever it was to be quite. She pointed to the pad and pen by the bed. Ginger got the message, grabbed both and started to write.
'What's going on?' she wrote, then passed the pad to CJ.
'Sam had a rough evening so I offered to get drunk with him. He fell asleep about an hour ago," CJ wrote after reading Ginger's question. She passed the pad back to her.
'You don't look too comfortable.'
'I'm not, but I don't want to risk waking him. He needs all the sleep he can get.'
'What happened?'
'Mara had to give Sam some bad news.'
'Oh God, did Mara loose this baby too?'
CJ's jaw dropped. 'How did you know?' she quickly scribbled after reading the question.
"I overheard Mara calling her Ob-Gyn and I put two and two together. How far did she make it this time?"
"13 weeks."
'Oh hell, she finally passed the 3 month marker. This is going to be the toughest one yet for Sam. I bet he spent half of the trip here making baby name lists believing they had finally broken the curse of bad luck.'
'I'm afraid you're right. Sam wasn't just crying because he was worried about Mara, he was crying for his loss. I've never seen him like that. It must have been a good forty minutes of sobbing before he could whisper what happened.'
'Thank God you were there. I wouldn't have been much help, seeing Sam in that much pain would have reduced me to tears too.'
'Oh, I was crying too, but Sam never noticed. Mara didn't want him to come home and that upset him, but Abbey convinced him that it was for the best. It's so sad, Ginger. Sam would be such a perfect Dad. I almost want too... never mind'
'Have his baby? The thought has crossed my mind. I almost offered Mara my services as a surrogate last time.'
'That's sweet in a freaky sort of way, Ginger. I'm sure Ryan would love that, 'I'm having Sam's baby, but I still love you dear'.
Ginger chuckled softly.
'Speaking of my husband, I was going to call him. Can I get you anything?'
'No, I'm pretty much stuck until Sam moves or wakes up.'
Ginger got up and carefully removed the pillow Sam wasn't using and put it behind CJ's neck so she'd be more comfortable. She raised the thermostat a bit so she wouldn't be cold, opened the curtains a bit to let some light in and turned the light out. She grabbed the pad and pen one more time.
'I'll see you in the morning. Thanks for being here,' Ginger wrote, passed the pad to CJ, then leaned over to brush a stray hair away from Sam's face. She kissed her finger tips and gently placed them on his forehead.
****************
Ryan could tell something was bothering her while they were speaking, but Ginger pretended she was just tired. She was tired, but she didn't sleep very well, waking up almost every hour on the hour until she finally gave up a little after six. She checked her e-mails and Sam's and dealt with everything. She read over the speech for that afternoon, spaced it so it was easier for the President to read and printed it out. At seven, she walked down the hall and let herself in to Sam's room. Sam was still asleep, but she heard the shower and knew it had to be CJ. She quietly cleaned up the room and started a pot of coffee brewing. When she heard the shower turned off, she poured each of them a glass of water and left out four Tylenols. She sat down on the bed and started playing with the back of Sam's hair gently calling his name. Sam raised his head an inch and put his head back down on the bed.
"Five more minutes, Ginger."
"Sam, you've got to get up. You are expected to be downstairs for breakfast in fifty minutes. Sit up. I've got some water and Tylenols here for you."
Sam slowly sat up and put his hand out for the pills. He popped them into his mouth, drank the entire glass of water and then rested his head on Ginger's shoulder.
"Saaam As soon as CJ gets out of the shower, you need to go take one. I know you feel like crap, but you serve at the pleasure of the President. I've taken care of everything including formatting and printing out today's speech."
The bathroom door opened and CJ walked out. She spotted the water and pills and smiled.
"Good thinking, Ginger, but I took some pills when I got up. Spanky, I think I left you some hot water. Get in there. Ah coffee! Sam, you need to give her a raise."
Sam looked up at Ginger and smiled. "You claim to love me, Ginger Ale, but if you really did, you would have written me a letter excusing me from living today."
Ginger chuckled, kissed the top of Sam's head and pushed him away. "I do love you, boss, but this hangover is your fault, not mine, so put a fire under it, Pretty Boy."
"I better go get dressed. You going to be okay, Spanky?"
"I guess. Thanks, Ceeg. I'll see you down there," Sam replied and headed into the bathroom.
"Anytime, my friend. Anytime. Ginger, I'll take my coffee to go. Are you going to...?"
"Yeah. I'll make sure Sam doesn't drown in the shower."
Ginger poured herself a cup of coffee and decided to play stylist to save Sam some time. She pulled his dark blue suit out of his garment bag, a white shirt and a navy tie with silvery-gray flecks. She popped Sam's computer open and sent Mara a quick e-mail message with her condolences and assurances that she would look after Sam for her.
"Ginger, you still there?"
"Yeah, what do you need?"
"I smell coffee. Can I have some?"
"You decent in there?"
"About as decent as I'm going to get today."
Ginger opened the door and found Sam standing in front of the mirror, bare chest, with a towel wrapped around his waist. Only Sam can look this fine with a hangover, Ginger thought to herself.
She wanted to keep the mood light so she decided to tease him. She playfully tapped his stomach and sighed.
"Your six pack is more like a three pack there, boss. You better get your butt back into the gym."
"My wife doesn't seem to mind."
"I guess I have higher standards than her then," Ginger countered with a big grin.
"Ginger, Ginger, Ginger. If you suddenly go overboard on our sailing trip this afternoon, you'll know why."
"I'm not worried. I'll have CJ and Ron to protect me. Get dressed. I'll meet you at the elevator in ten minutes."
"Yeah, whatever."
Sam knocked his legal pad off the TV when he was putting his suit jacket on. As he put it back in place, he noticed writing on it. He read the conversation Ginger and CJ had the night before. He brushed a few tears away, folded it and put it inside his jacket pocket. He finished his coffee, popped a mint in his mouth, grabbed his sunglasses and headed out the door. Ginger was leaning against the wall beside the elevator. With her sunglasses on and the sunlight shinning on her hair Sam thought she looked more like a movie star than his assistant.
"Hey, beautiful," Sam said as he slid on his sunglasses.
"It's a good thing you clean up well, Sam."
"Pills, a cold shower and coffee can almost work miracles."
"Don't forget the importance of a fresh shirt," Ginger teased.
CJ was waiting downstairs for Sam and walked into the meeting room with her arm around his back. Sam sat down and found himself to be the center of a CJ and Ginger sandwich. Toby sat down beside CJ and found himself being virtually ignored. He knew something was up because Ginger and CJ were mothering Sam and he was letting them. His eyes nearly rolled out of his head when he overheard Ginger coaxing Sam to have one more forkful of eggs.
"For crying out loud, Ginger. Sam is a big boy, if he doesn't want to eat anything else it's his business," Toby grumbled.
CJ smacked him hard upside the head and Sam finished his eggs even though he felt like throwing up.
"Josh, do you have any idea what's going on over there?" Jed asked quietly.
"No idea, Sir. It's like they are in their own little play and we weren't given programs."
"Folks, I insisted on.... CJ, stop buttering Sam's toast! I insisted on this breakfast meeting because after this morning's trip to the University, the rest of the day is yours. We leave the hotel at seven for the opera house. Yes, Josh you have to go..."
Jed stopped as he caught Ginger quartering then placing a piece of buttered toast on Sam's plate. His eyes rose in surprise when Sam picked up a quarter and started munching on it. Meanwhile, CJ was fixing Sam another mug of coffee. He looked at Toby who was also watching the scene with interest.
"I don't know who lost the bet, the girls or Sam," Jed remarked to Josh.
"That's got to be it, Sir, and my guess is Sam lost."
"Sam?"
"Yes, sir?"
"Good job on the speech and Ginger, thank you for making it more legible."
"You're welcome, Sir," Ginger replied before Sam could say anything.
"Sir, permission to leave. They are freaking me out," Josh requested.
"Permission denied, although I am curious why you are smothering Sam, CJ?"
"I'm not smothering, Sam. I'm just trying to be nice to a friend, Sir."
Jed noticed that Sam was a million miles away and decided to get to the bottom of it later on.
"CJ, you are riding with me. The cars are leaving in half an hour. I suggest you all finish up and grab your coats. Dismissed."
Despite his best efforts, Jed could not get CJ to reveal what was going on with Sam. He planned on having Sam join him on the car to the Sydney Opera House that night. Jed phoned Abbey's office after lunch and discovered that she had cancelled all her meetings and plans until after he returned. When Julie informed him that she was staying with Mara, his stomach dropped. He waited a couple hours and dialled the house.
"Hello?"
"Hello, sweet knees. What the hell is going on there?"
"I'm keeping Mara company."
"Sam and Ginger are mothering Sam to death and he is letting them. I'll ask you again, what the hell is going on? If you don't want to answer me, I'll just grill Sam later."
"You leave Sam alone or else," Abbey snapped.
"What is going on Abbey?"
"Mara had a miscarriage yesterday. She was 13 weeks along and they both thought they finally had a stable pregnancy. They were planning a dinner party when you returned to announce it. Mara is feeling like a failure, unworthy of Sam's love. Sam is going nuts because he loves her so much and he's so far away. It also hurts him that Mara puts herself through hell after a miscarriage. She didn't want him to come home Jed, so leave Sam alone."
"Poor kids. Give Mara a hug for me and I promise I won't make this trip any harder on Sam. He was going sailing with CJ, Ginger, Charlie and Ron around the Harbour. That should make him feel better."
"Not really, but it will be a distraction at least."
********************
Mara and Abbey were waiting impatiently when Air Force One landed on the tarmac five days later. Mara had missed Sam, but his absence allowed her to deal with most of her demons without having to worry about hurting him. She said some horrible things about herself that would have broken Sam's heart to hear her utter. Abbey didn't agree with anything she said, but she simply listened without comment. As soon as Sam descended the stairs, Mara sprinted towards him. Sam dropped his carry on bag and opened his arms up to her.
"I love you, Sam," she whispered before kissing him passionately.
"I love you, too. How are you doing?" Sam asked.
"Much better. I'm sorry I pushed you away, but it was for the best."
"I guess all that matters is the healing process," Sam replied.
"You'll be happy to know that before I went to bed each night, I reminded myself that I'd get through this because you loved me and you'd never stop loving me. Unconditional love can be a pretty effective cure all."
"I'm glad you remembered that. Let's go home."
"I've got Sal's pizza keeping warm in the oven. Let me just go say bye to Abbey."
Mara went and gave Abbey a long hug and thanked her for staying with her.
Once they were in the car heading home, Mara handed Sam an invitation and watched for his reaction.
Sam looked at the White card with silver writing that simply said you're invited. He flipped the card open and his heart leapt at the words he saw. Sam, you are cordially invited to start making another baby as soon as you get over the jet lag. RSVP by a kiss immediately. He looked at Mara with a soft smile on his face and gave her a tender kiss.
"You sure you are ready?"
"Sam, I'll endure twenty miscarriages if that's what it takes to make you a Daddy."
"Oh, Mar. As long as I have you, a baby is just icing on the cake."
"I know, but I prefer my cake with icing and so do you."
"What about the ice cream?" San asked with a grin.
Mara laughed for the first time in a week and kissed her husband. She didn't know what the future held, but just seeing Sam she knew they could survive anything.