Title: Snape's Backfired Prank
Rating: PG-13
Author: Silver-Phoenix-09
Description: Comedy, Song-fic
Summary: "Those bloody Gryffindors will pay for what they did to me." Snape hissed to a seemingly empty room. Sequel to "The Well Earned Prank"
Warnings: Subtle Slash References
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters, they all belong to the literary genius J.K.Rowling. The song "Growing On Me" belongs to the band The Darkness. I am only borrowing them for the time being.
Severus Snape was seething, fuming, irate, wrathful… well, you get the point. Those bloody Gryffindors will pay for what they did to me! He repeated in his head for the hundredth time since what he had termed "The Incident". The Marauders had cast some dastardly spell on him at breakfast one morning causing him to do some wildly irrational things, such as pole-dancing in front of all his peers; and Snape was going to make them pay for their evil deed.
He stared at the back of James-bloody-Potter's head with his ice cold obsidian eyes, hidden behind a long ebony strand of greasy hair. In truth his hair wasn't really that greasy but his penchant for brewing potions and the offending ringlets it fell in when left to its own devices caused him to keep it slicked straight. His long pale fingers twitched on the desk where his left hand had fallen. He was itching to get those pompous Marauders back, and he knew just who to contact to make sure all went well.
Lucius Malfoy sighed as his father's missive was dropped unceremoniously onto his desk by the Malfoy's trademark eagle owl. He was just about to read it when another note popped out of the fireplace. He instantly recognized the black parchment tied with the emerald ribbon as his friend Severus's usual style of correspondence. He stood slowly to his full height before walking over to the note and stooping to pick it up. He slit the ribbon with a small penknife and lazily dragged his eyes over his friend's minute cursive.
Dear Lucius,
I'm sorry to be contacting you when I'm sure your father has you busy with important business, but I am in need of assistance. I know that you know many of the spells required for a little revenge prank I am planning against the Marauders and I am requesting your help. If you are not too busy, could you Floo call me later today so I can let you know what spells I'll need. Au revoir, Severus
Lucius chuckled at his friend's over-polite manners and decided that he would look into this matter about a "revenge prank". He slipped the note into his pocket before returning to the arduous task of opening and following out his father's missive.
Severus was nearly shivering with excitement. He knew that his plan to get revenge on those persecuting Gryffindors would soon begin and that he would be praised on his supreme craftsmanship. He waited for the majority of the students to filter in before beginning the many incantations that would bring his prank to life. No wonder there are four Marauders, this is too much wand-work for any sane individual to handle on their own. Fortunately for our laudable Marauders, Snape was right, it was too much for him to try and handle alone. The whole thing would explode back in his face, and Severus would regret it for years.
Sirius, Remus, James and Peter were all sitting down to a rather leisurely breakfast when it all began… the prank that would forever cement the four (three, really) in the minds of the Hogwart's ladies population. A drum beat began pouring in through those same speakers that the Marauders themselves had erected. Sirius turned his deep gray eyes on James and raised his black eyebrows skyward.
"Prongs, you didn't plan a prank without telling me, did you?" His voice was light, but held a slight accusatory tone.
"No, Padfoot, why would I do that? Must've been you, right Mooney?" James was looking suspiciously at the werewolf on his left, who appeared shocked.
"You both know that I wouldn't start a prank without you so don't start in on me." The lycanthrope looked affronted at such a suggestion. His amber eyes turned to the only remaining Marauder, a question in his gaze.
"It w-wasn't me!" Peter squeaked nervously, as James and Sirius' gazes joined Remus'.
"Of course it wasn't, Pete." Sirius growled soothingly. Suddenly he was jerked upright and his robe fell to the floor exposing an outrageous wardrobe. A bright red silk shirt hung loosely on his torso and was mostly un-buttoned exposing a tan, well-muscled chest. Tight, black leather pants seemed molded to his legs and arse. His hair usually pushed away from his face fell gingerly into his eyes making the girls gasp. He looked down and smiled mischievously before he was joined by Remus.
Remus had been staring at Sirius in near shock since he had suddenly stood up, and hadn't even noticed the slight crackle of magic that hit him until he was jerked to his feet as well. His robe slid from his broad shoulders to the floor and exposed an outfit similar to Sirius'. Although instead of a red shirt, his was deep royal blue. His mouth fell open in near shock, but was spared from it by James jumping to his feet, clad in similar outfit, though his shirt was a deep emerald. Peter gazed on in horror as the real fun began.
Sirius smiled as people began to turn their way in curiosity. James laughed a conjured himself an electric guitar… a favorite hobby. He began strumming a catchy tune and Sirius conjured himself a microphone. Remus blushed and tried to sit back down but found he couldn't. Sirius jumped up on the table and pulled Remus up after him. He pulled the microphone to his lips and burst out:
Can't get rid of you
I don't know what to do
I don't even know who is growing on who
He began strutting down the table, pulling Remus with him. Remus reluctantly gave in and began matching his steps.
'Cause everywhere I go you're there
Can't get you out of my hair
Can't pretend that I don't care - it's not fair
Sirius jumped down and began to dance between the tables. Remus jumped down and walked over to where James was blasting away at his guitar and began moving with the beat.
I'm being punished for all my offences
Sirius threw his hair back from his dazzling gray eyes and a couple girls began drooling.
I wanna touch you but I'm afraid of the consequences
He rubbed a hand down his well-muscled side, causing more than one girl to fan herself.
I wanna banish you from whence you came
But you're part of me now
And I've only got myself to blame
He plopped down next to a leggy Hufflepuff girl and dropped a hand suggestively onto her well-exposed thigh.
You're really growing on me
He jumped up and moved down the aisle again.
(Or am I growing on you?)
James and Remus chimed in; a sandy head banging to the beat, the other completely caught up in his music.
You're really growing on me
Sirius flew into a high falsetto and the boys in the Hall glanced up in unmistakable curiosity.
(Or am I growing on you?)
Any fool can see
Sleeping in an empty bed
Sirius lay back on one end of the Ravenclaw table and continued to sing. The girls nearby reached out to touch him, and he graciously caressed each hand before throwing himself up and continuing the spectacle.
Can't get you off my head
I won't have a life until you're dead
Yes, you heard what I said
He slowly strutted his way back to where Remus and James were being watched by a small number of the Hogwarts population and began dancing with Remus.
I wanna shake you off but you just won't go
And you're all over me but I don't want anyone to know
That you're attached to me, that's how you've grown
Won't you leave me, leave me alone
He slapped Remus on the arse before dancing solo again. By now most of the students of Hogwarts were on their feet dancing to this incredibly good performance. All except one. An obsidian gaze watched in disbelief as the infamous Marauders won, yet again.
You're really growing on me
(Or am I growing on you?)
You're really growing on me
(Or am I growing on you?)
Any fool can see
He dropped the microphone and let James take an awesome guitar solo that had everyone cheering. James dropped to his knees as his solo reached the climax. Sirius slapped his shoulder before returning to his singing.
You're really growing on me
(Or am I growing on you?)
You're really growing on me
(Or am I growing on you?)
The three teens slowly began winding down their song, but not before every last person was standing, cheering, and dancing. James pulled out another solo before the music faded out. When they had completely finished it was dead silent for half a second before everyone every person in the Great Hall burst out in tumultuous applause. Cat-calls and cheers shook the thick stone walls as the three boys took a few well-earned bows before returning to their seats.
Outside, in a secluded corner, a greasy black curtain of hair and pale hands covered the face of the prankster who just gave his enemies ammunition to further their careers as Hogwart's most-beloved delinquents.