Hey it's the next chapter, sorry I haven't updated in a long time. So yeah I didn't get a lot of reviews for the last chapter. . . please review?

WARNING- THIS PART CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE SEASON PREMIERE- DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW THEM (ALTHOUGH YOU REALLY SHOULDN'T BE SURPRISED BY ANY OF THEM)

Lorelai walked into the Dragonfly carrying two heavy looking duffel bags that night. One held comfortable clothing that she would be changing into for the duration of the evening, while the other held her almighty tunes to help her get through a night of flower arranging. She dumped both bags into her office before going back to the desk where Michel cheerfully bid her a good evening and then promptly sauntered off home to his dogs. Just as she was about to pull up the reservation list on the computer the phone rang.

"Dragonf-"

"How could you!"

The shrill voice on the other end caused her to yank the phone away from her own ear and wince before coming back. "How could I what?"

"You knew Rory's hearing was today and you weren't there! What kind of impression do you think that made on the judge when the mother of the defendant doesn't even show up to her daughter's hearing! I'll tell you what; not a good one!"

Lorelai sighed and rolled her eyes, "Well I'm sure she got over it when the world's biggest lobbyist was sitting right behind her."

"Of all the things you do in your life, Lorelai, this is most surely the worst; this is unforgivable! And I thought that at the end of the day you would at least get over your stubborn pride and do what was best for Rory!"

"My stubborn pride. . . let's see. . . my stubborn pride would have kept her at Yale, my stubborn pride would have kept her living in her own home, my stubborn pride should have kept me from ever speaking to you again. In case you recall, you have your perfect daughter; take what you want and just forget this one, I've already told her she's yours." With that she hung up the phone and braced her hands against the desk.

After spending a few hours checking on the guests and making sure the kitchen staff was ready to continue cooking for the weekend the next day, she closed herself in the office and changed into a hoodie and comfortable sweatpants. Michel had made sure that all of the flowers were delivered outside to the garden to take in the sun and any rainfall until they could be arranged, as well as putting the lights to be untangled by the kitchen door. She settled on the first task of the lights, taking them outside and plugging them in to see the strands.

The stillness of the night was peaceful; it was like all of the events of the week had just been washed away. She listened to the silence and pondered. Though Lorelai was not willing to show it to anyone, a part of her had been guilted at her mother's phone call. She and Rory hadn't talked since that day in the pool house and she had known that her visit wasn't a huge one in the long run, but part of her agreed with Emily that she should have at least been there to see her daughter get a permanent record.

She pulled a majority of the major knots out of the lights and coiled them to keep them from getting retangled.

Lorelai couldn't lie to anyone and say that she hadn't been hurt by what Rory ran to; it was the life she had sheltered her against, maybe too much. Rory was very much unlike other people in which she didn't shy away from what she didn't understand, and part of Lorelai now wondered if she would have chosen that life had she been more exposed to it early on. She sighed and rubbed the bridge between her eyes. Things were so complicated now, or was it that things were always this complex and she didn't realize it until it came smacking her in the face? It had just seemed like yesterday that they had finally mended the gap that last summer had brought between them and now they were farther apart than ever.

She missed her kid. Her bedroom was empty; Emily had stormed in and taken all of Rory's things to cart them off to the pool house and then to be catalogued and probably burned in accordance with how 'childish lorelai' they seemed. Even Luke looked like he missed the girl's presence in the house. Granted that the times all three of them stayed overnight at the same time was few between the schedules they kept, but when they were all there they had gotten used to having a movie night together. Sometimes she saw him picking up magazines and books and she could almost still see him picking up one of Rory's textbooks and placing it on the table after she had fallen asleep and dropped it. Once, she had seen him pick up her book and then tuck in the throw blanket on her as she slept on the couch with a gentleness that only a father had.

She suddenly wished that it was pouring rain outside and that she was Natalie Portman from Garden State. She wished that she was in a place that she could be out in the open and scream through the falling raindrops; to give to the storm all of the pain that hollowed her chest every time she saw the empty bedroom or the stray book in the house. Lorelai wanted to run a marathon while doing jumping jacks with a side of finding the cure for cancer to ease the pressure. The tears down her face only confirmed that she was nothing she thought she was. She wasn't Natalie Portman, nor an olympic runner, and not even Wonder Woman.

In a garden filled with some of the most beautiful flowers that she could ever imagine at her fingertips and the twilights of fairies glittering in her hands, Lorelai crumbled and gave in to the hollowness. Suddenly the fairies were gone and the colors of flowers blurred into the night, and all she could do was feebly hug her stomach and alternately rub her tears away into the fabric of a hoodie scarred with the stench of failure.

Rory sighed and put her book down on the coffee table; she hadn't actually read a word in it in the last twenty minutes. She stood and smoothed out her jeans before heading outside to breathe in the fresh air. Richard and Emily had had a dinner obligation that they couldn't cancel, although they had repeatedly offered to try and get her a place at their table. Rory had told them that she was just a little worn out and didn't feel like going out into polite society for the evening. She had contemplated calling Logan, but after today she was sure that his parents were probably playing house arrest on him at the moment.

The community service that she was sentenced to wasn't the biggest thing on her list of worries. It was problematic, and the number of hours left something to be desired, but it wasn't like she hadn't already done a ton of different service projects back in high school. She was in fact a seasoned veteran at it. The probation didn't look like it would be a lot of fun to deal with, but after the routine kicked in she was sure it was going to be easy to handle. Heck, the record thing wasn't bothering her at the moment even since as long as she didn't steal anymore boats it was possible to have it expunged before she would have theoretically graduated from Yale.

Lorelai didn't come.

Deep down Rory was expecting it; their relationship was still on horrible rocks even with their talk, but the shock of her not being there was harder to accept than she had thought. No matter where they had stood on their personal relationship, they had always been there for each other when one of them really needed it.

'No,' she decided, 'I'm being stupid. I don't even live at home anymore.'

The pool house now held every possession of hers that Emily was able to get ahold of, most of which had already been put into shelves, drawers, or closets, and the remaining things were just waiting for her to get another organizational spat. Something about it felt wrong though.

It wasn't home.

The walls didn't have Yale paraphenalia covering them, nor the posters of numerous places that she had dreamed of going to and some even visited. She didn't have her favorite reading lamp, or the comfortable pillow that she had spent many nights leaning against while she devoured her latest novel. She couldn't wake up, eat a pop tart, and then walk a few blocks down the road and order her specialty egg breakfast from Luke's all the while explain to him that it was too late for him to try and turn her away from coffee.

Her reflection in the pool began to shimmer as multiple ripples began to form on the surface. She turned her face to the rain suddenly coming down and closed her eyes just as a flash of lightning lit up the backyard. Her T-Shirt and jeans were soaked within seconds and her hair clung in uncomfortable places around her neck. Rory's shoes felt squishy and the socks inside like wet paper against her feet.

She felt so out of place and yet kept surrounding herself with things that were not usual to her. Her chest felt so hollow and yet so painful at the same time.

Rory glanced around her and noticed that most of the neighbors didn't appear to be home; probably at that stupid function as well. She wanted to do something crazy again, something to make her feel alive again.

So she screamed.

And for once, she was alive.

She was alive, but she was Natalie Portman, not Rory Gilmore.

Not anymore.

tbc

Well I decided to end things here because I have to go to bed and then to school. . . bleh, school

Woo senior year!

So RnR plz

Snow