Tori: Oh dear Lord…it's back again.

Duo: OO …ph33r…

Super Battle Athletes Gundam Wing

Chapter 4

When Good Storms Go Bad

Duet blinked awake and found herself in a small room. The walls were plastered with posters of female athletes and pictures of friends and numerous sports trophies and medals were displayed humbly on the dresser top and shelves. The clothes she'd packed ((that is, what the other pilots hadn't stolen for their own purposes)) were washed and folded in a neat pile on the floor near her head and her shoes sat just inside the triangular automatic door.

Puzzled, she sat up and looked around again. A breeze stirred in the room and she suddenly felt very cold.

"Get back under the blanket or you'll catch a chill," a female voice demanded. Duet needn't be told twice though and gathered the futon under her chin to cover her bare chest.

"…WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?" she cried and scanned the room for the source of the voice.

"Down here, stupid," the voice rang again and Duet turned her gaze to the floor.

"Hello!" a blonde girl smiled and waved meekly at her, her face half-covered by the blanket she clutched in her other hand.

"Dear God!" the chestnut haired girl screeched and crab-crawled across the room at an astonishing speed, the blanket, for the most part, staying secure. "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?"

The blonde girl blinked and sat up, not bothering to bring her blanket with her. "I'm Jessie Gurtland."

"WHAT AM I DOING HERE?"

"You were sent here with your friends."

"NO! WHAT AM I DOING HERE?"

"You stayed the night."

"WHY AM I NEKKID?"

"Did you want to sleep in your dirty clothes…?"

"WHY ARE YOU SO COMPOSED?"

"…would you prefer me to act like a raving lunatic such as yourself at this moment?"

"YES! YES, I WOULD!"

I'm sure Jessie would have complied with Duet's wishes if someone hadn't knocked on the door. It slid open with a subtle Whoosh! to reveal a rather disgruntled-looking Heero in a pair of plaid pajama pants and an oversized nightshirt.

"Duet… Stop screwing the natives and get out here. We need to talk," he mumbled and the door slid shut again.

More than happy to oblige, the nekkid girl, without bothering to get dressed, followed him into the hall, leaving the blonde girl in her room.

"Heero?"

With a Whoosh! and a quick shove she found herself in a small, dark space with a hand on her breast.

"J-Jessie?" Duet squeaked.

"No, it's me. Duo."

"Oh. Alright. I won't tell you to move your hand then."

"Who's Jessie?"

"Hot native. Spent the night with her."

"Sweet. Not even a day and you're already someone's bitch."

"Er, yeah… Is there a reason you dragged me in here?"

"Yup." Duo switched on the light. They were standing in a rather small bathroom, furnished with only a toilet and a sink.

"Ah yes. It's all clear now," Duet grumbled.

"I just needed to talk to you…"

"About what?"

"Well…have you read this chapter so far?"

"Uh-huh. What about it?"

"Duet… there's no strange authorship. No yelling. No insomnia-induced rants. Doesn't that strike you as strange?"

The naked girl closed her eyes for a moment, then looked up at Duo and smiled. "The author… She's finally…" Duet looked off into the lack of distance and held both hands over her heart. Her eyes watered and sparkles clouded the backdrop with whites and pastels. I'll even throw in some fricken cherry blossoms and some cheesy background music. "…off cocaine."

The bathroom door slid open and Heero peered in. "Tori was on cocaine?"

The two braided idiots nodded excitedly.

"So many questions… … … …have just been answered."

Wow, THAT was a clichéd line, Scuzzy.

Heero left eye twitched violently. "DON'T call me Scuzzy."

"Yeah, quit picking on Heero, ya' chippin' bitch!" Duo added.

Ooooh, a bitch, eh? Real harsh, QUEEBO!

"Now, now… That's enough name-calling you two," Duet frowned and crossed her arms.

"S/he started it," Duo and Tori chorused and pointed at each other. Well, I pointed at Duo. Duo just kind of waved his pointing hand around, then gave up and stormed out of the bathroom on the verge of tears.

Duet cast a poisonous glance at the tissue box next to the hand soap on the sink counter and ran after her pussy fiancé. Oh, she's still naked by the way. Gotta hold Relena's interest somehow.

So…just me and Scuzzy left.

"My name isn't Scuzzy," Heero growled.

Yes it is, Scuzzy.

Yup…just me and Scuzzy.

Wu Fei: Did you just wake up this morning and say "Hey! Why don't I work on that crappy ass fic I started last summer?"

Tori: Wake up? Honey, I haven't gone to bed yet.

Wu Fei: Not like you would have gotten any sleep if you had anyway. Probably would have kept the rest of us up too…

Tori: Hehehe… I'm putting this convo at the end of this chapter.

Wu Fei: What do I care? No one's gonna get that far anyway.

Tori: I'll be sure to thank you for your support in my Nobel Prize acceptance speech.

Wu Fei: Wanna forget this conversation ever happened and come with me to get some bagels?

Tori: With honey walnut cream cheese?

Wu Fei: If it'll shut you up.

Tori: DEAL!