Van Van the Afro Man
By Blue-Jellee
Disclaimer: I do not own Zoids, however much I wish so. However, I DO own Van's afro.
"What? What's wrong, Fiona?'
Fiona was still gazing at his hair. "Oh nothing's wrong with me, Van. Nothing."
Van looked at her. "Wha-?"
Fiona couldn't contain herself anymore, she burst out laughing.
"Wha-. " Van was cut off again.
Fiona gasped, tears running down her cheeks. Holding her stomach, she cried,
"Van, you have an AFRO!"
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Chapter 2 – What the…?
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.. 'How the f$! did I get an afro?' Van thought, as he looked in the mirror. 'That can't be possible, my hair has always been smooth and sexy before'.
Van had been thinking a lot in the past few hours. He had been avoiding everybody, staying in his room, not answering the door; just sitting in front of the mirror, singing 'Hit me baby one more time'. He wasn't sure how he got his afro, or how his hair had gotten so big when it was usually so short, but he knew he had to get rid of it. Fiona wouldn't sleep with him unless he did something about it.
Van rose from his sitting place in front of the mirror, and started to pace slowly around his room. He was doing this for quite a few minutes when it struck him to check the shampoo bottle that he had used, and see if there was anything on it about adverse reactions from using it. He walked to his bedroom door, unlocked it and opened it slowly, checking around to see if anybody was there. Nobody was, so he quickly raced towards the bathroom so nobody would see him and torment him about his afro. He quickly entered the bathroom and shut the door behind him. Then he looked in the shower for the shampoo bottle. He saw 3 different shampoo bottles; one that was his, one that was an anti-frizz one, and one that had strange writing on it. He picked up the one with the strange writing on it, and looked at it closely. He couldn't read the writing on the front, however when he looked at the writing on the back he saw English instructions. They stated,
"Use with care. Add only a small amount to a regular shampoo and conditioner and massage into hair. Leave in for five minutes. Using too much of this can result in hair breakage and frizz. Do not use if:
- Your hair is prone to frizz
'Riight' Van thought bitterly.
- You hair is weak/brittle
'Whatever' Van thought.
You have no hair
'Duh' Van thought.
- Your name is Van Flyheight
Now THAT caught Van's attention. He rubbed his eyes and looked again; maybe he had read the wrong thing. It turned out he'd read it properly. Stunned, Van continued reading.
'If your name is Van Flyheight, you are a bogan and we forbid you to use this shampoo, however your hot girlfriend Fiona can use it all she wants.
'If your name is Van Flyheight, you will get an afro if you use this shampoo, and if your name is Van Flyheight, your afro will not go away unless you drink salty coke whilst watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles'.
Van decided the information was completely worthless, so he decided to ignore it. He sighed and walked out of the bathroom, only to be confronted by Irvine.
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Moonbay and Fiona were sitting at the kitchen table enjoying refreshments; Moonbay, a diet soda, and Fiona, salty coffee.
"I haven't seen Van since yesterday.. do you know what's wrong with him?" Moonbay took a sip out of her diet soda, and stared at Fiona. 'So pretty', Moonbay thought.. 'Just…. Want…. To…. Squeeezeee … her…. Boo-'.
"Yeah, um", Fiona scratched her nose. "He's uh.. a little.. uh.. preoccupied.. uhh.. well, let's just say something has happened and I think he'd prefer I tell nobody about it".
Moonbay laughed, reached out and squeezed Fiona's wrist. "So you're going to tell me right?".
Fiona sighed. She could never keep a secret, as Moonbay knew very well. People always got information out of her somehow. But not this time; she was protecting Van's privacy.. 'then maybe he'll let me touch his foot', she added in an afterthought.
"I can't say. Really, I can't. If Van knew that I'd tol-".
"Don't worry, babe" Moonbay squeezed Fiona's wrist a little harder. "I won't tell him I know, I promise".
Fiona sipped her coffee and looked up at the roof. "It's a little complicated, Moonbay".
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Irvine stared at Van for a few seconds when he saw him. There was Van, barely up to Irvine's shoulders, yet way taller than him because of the huge afro on Van's head. It looked ridiculous.
"Yo dawg! Wat up in da north side?" Irvine yelled out crazily. "Wat up wif da G dawg hair do YO!".
…
Van stared for a moment, then started, "Uhh nothing.. no.. nothing". Van tried to quickly walked away before Irvine could say anything else, but Irvine followed him.
"Yo dawg, G. Wat up! Your hair dawg, is like LARGO!". Irvine punched Van in the arm.
Van rolled his eyes. "Quit with the homeboy thing Irvy, it don't suit ya. And what the f& is 'largo'?"
Irvine reached up and touched Van's hair. "DAWG, like, if ya poke it dawg, it goes like.. BOING.. yo!".
Van sighed. This was gonna be a looonng day.
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"What could possibly be that complicated that you can't tell me, your best friend?" Moonbay suppressed a giggle. If she kept acting low-key, she might get the information out of Fiona.
"Umm, gosh, I don't know. He had an accident, I suppose". Fiona blushed; she really did not want to embarrass Van.
"An accident? Like what? He wet the bed last night, didn't he?"
"How'd you know about that?".
"I was just kidding, Fi, but that's just gross. I can't believe he still wets the bed" Moonbay squeezed Fiona's wrist again. "But what was the accident? You aren't getting out of telling me".
Fiona sighed. Moonbay wasn't going to give up, so she might as well spill the beans.
"Well you see.. Van, kinda… "
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Irvine followed Van around for 5 more minutes, constantly making wacky jokes about Van's hair. Van didn't care anymore; so what, he has a stupid hair style. He knew a lot of people with stupid hair styles… like.. uhh.. well, he was sure he knew some people who had stupid hair do's.
Van saw the kitchen door open, so he walked to it. Maybe he'd just run in and lock the door behind Irvine, who was currently poking the back of Van's head.. irritating the sh! outta Van. He made a run for it, and entered the kitchen. Just as he was about to shut the door, he noticed two people sitting at the kitchen table, staring at him.
'What the hell is on Van's head?' Moonbay thought wildly. 'It looks pathetic'.
Fiona sighed, and continued. "He kind has an afro now..".
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The end of this chapter! Yippeee! Please R/R, and if you have any ideas you want to be used in the story, or any characters or anything, tell me and I'll add them in if I can.
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Thanks to the following people for reviewing:
Iceprincess85 – You rock. Also, Van kissing Fiona wouldn't be a bad thing; it would be a very very good thing! .
Fiona-Angel – A frilly pink dress huh? Good idea, I might have to use it P
Cereal Killer – Thanks. That was a cool song you made up, too '
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read royalphoenix's stories if you like beyblade