A/N: Hi readers! (If there are any) Okay, this fic will circle around the Daroga and me as we make the POTO characters' lives hell. For those ignorant beings out there, the Daroga will also be called the Persian from time to time, so they're the same guy. Hope you enjoy!
Wrath of the Deranged
How many people abhor the Daroga's miniscule role in The Phantom of the Opera and fan fiction after? Yeah, that's what I thought. Well, he's pissed and plans to plot his revenge; little does he know a crazed authoress is keeping her eye on him.
We come to our hero as he walks down a cobblestone pathway, juggling his bags of groceries and mumbling dark things under his breath. (We hear snatches of "damn. .groceries…Erik, fanfiction…Fop.") Suddenly, a bright, pure light appears before him and a silhouette steps out of it. The Daroga drops his bags of goodies and (I'm so sorry to say) his fruits were splattered all over the ground. Turning on his heel, he flees back the way he came. Well, the being won't have none of that and with a flick of her finger, a hook appears and drags the unwilling Daroga back.
"Shame on you, Daroga!" the being chortles. "Have you lost all your manners? Not even a hello or a how are you? You didn't even ask who I am."
"I know who you are!" the Persian howls. "You're one of those damn authoresses come to interview me on Erik, or Christine, or that FOP!" He starts clawing the air and trying to grab the hook that has hold of him fast. The being sheds her light and appears in her normal clothes; meaning cargo pants and a T-shirt that says "Get it? Got it? Good!" She sighs and says, "Well, yes I'm an authoress but I haven't come to ask about the love triangle. In fact I've come to give you an irresistible offer I KNOW you can't refuse." Here, the Persian stops and listens attentively. "What if I gave you the chance to share my awesome authoress powers and help your revenge against the POTO characters?" The Persian's eyes grow bright and his mouth transforms into a creepy grin. Suddenly he frowns. "What's the catch?" The authoress chortles again (What? I like that word!) "No catch. I'm just really bored and I love torturing beings from my favorite movies or books. Besides, you seemed a bit left out and I felt sympathetic (which is not often I might add, so you're one of the lucky guys!). By the way, the name's Katz." "Katz," the Daroga samples. "Nice to meet you. Now when doesthis torture begin?"
Katz and the Persian are swept into a large conference room with a mahogany table in the center and crimson, leather couches surrounding it. There is one door on the side, but the remarkable thing about the room was a large wall-sized window across from the door. Through the window was a 10 foot long hallway which opened up into a large square room. In the room were 4 beds, 2 on opposite sides. Across from the window was an organ, about the same as the one in Erik's lair, and was covered with blank music sheets.
Katz: Well, how do you like it?
Daroga: The furniture is a bit scarce, but the window is breath-taking.
Katz: Hmm, you compliment and criticize at the same time.
Daroga: Sorry, force of habit.
Katz: Habit?
Daroga: Yeah. It's Erik's fault. Compliment him, and he thinks you're lying. Criticize, and he gets enraged. He's very unstable.
Katz: All the more reason to torture him.
Daroga: Wait, so that square room with the organ is the torture chamber? It has beds and an organ for chrissakes! I was locked in a mirror room with no way to get out in Erik's torture room! And you think that's bad? Guess what, the Fop was in there WITH ME:starts hyperventilating:
Katz: Whoa, slow down you're hyperventilating. Don't worry, it seems comfortable, but there are more hidden branches in the art of torture. :coughCarlottacough:
Daroga: :brightens considerably:
Katz: Oh yes, and I have to give you some of my powers.
Daroga: :brightens so much the whole room is illuminated:
Katz: But first, you must swear the author/authoress code of author/authoress power in all things that are Fan Fiction.
Daroga: :brightness dims down a little: A code? But I thought authors and authoress were almighty. Why do you need a code?
Katz: Well, the code states that those under the influence of fan fiction power must use them responsibly and obey the Four Rules. Besides, if there were no rules fan fiction would be filled with half-done, crappy, schmutt.
Daroga: Okaaaay. What are the Rules?
Katz: :rummages in backpack and brings out a wrinkled white book with the title 4: Ah-hah! Here we go! 1) Never kill off any character in your fan fiction. 2) Always use powers in a creative matter 3) One author/authoress cannot control or uplift the spell set by another author/authoress. And last, 4) Never eat potato chips on top of your keyboard.
Daroga: Err, those are the 4 rules?
Katz: :closes book shut: Yup, although there are tons of more rules in there, those 4 are the main ones. The rest are superfluous. Alrighty then, ready to become an Author?
Daroga: Of course!
Katz: Okay, now stay still and close your eyes. I will now say the oath and you must repeat it after me. Understand?
Daroga: Yes.
Katz: I, Daroga-
Daroga: I, Daroga-
Katz: -will accept the powers given-
Daroga: -will accept the powers given-
Katz: -by almighty Authoress Katz-
Daroga: -by almighty Authoress Katz-
Katz: -and will hereby use it –
Daroga: -and will hereby use it -
Katz: -only in the holy name of fan fiction-
Daroga: -only in the holy name of fan fiction-
Katz: -and obey the 4 rules -
Daroga: -and obey the 4 rules -
Katz: -that guide the powers of all authors and authoresses.
Daroga: -that guide the powers of all authors and authoresses.
A sudden white flash appears and a thunderclap is heard. A bright, white, electrical spark flashes from between Katz and the Persian. Both begin to glow a soft blue color, and little sparkly thingies start floating around. Finally, the thunder and lights are gone and the Persian collapses to the floor. Katz stumbles a bit and mutters "Wow. I'm never doing that again."
Wow. That was weird.
Anyway, hope you liked it reader. I really really hope you did.
This was my first fic so I need some feedback, people!
Anything from compliments to constructive criticism is fine with me.
If people like it, I will continue. If it sucked, maybe I should try something new. Thanks for reading!
PLEASE REVIEW!
Sincerely,
Katz