(A/N: Not much more to add. This is the first time we actually tried some combined effort… It didn't turn out very well.)

This is a COPS special. We will now see a group of officers infiltrate a crack house and arrest the occupants. We now return to COPS: Crack House Crackdown.

"-kssh- all cars, head to the house on the corner of Bush and Gore, over. -kssh-"
Officers Rodriguez and Pyst sit in their police car, eating their donuts.
"Why?"
"-kssh- The occupants are being charged for possession, hot boxing, drug dealing, robbery, vandalism of road signs, first, second and third degree murder and embezzlement, over -kssh-"
WWW grabs his radio.
"Sounds like quite a criminal outfit. Pyst and Rodriguez, how long until you get there?
Rodriguez chews his donut.
"could be an hour, or a day, or-"
A thud can be heard over the radio. Officer Deja speaks.
"Rodriguez! You better get there in 15 minutes! STOP STUFFING YOUR FACE!!!"
WWW was curious.
"What'd you do, Deja? Kill the radio dude?"
"No, he's still breathing... well not now."
"Whatever"
Rodriguez drives the patrol car to the crack house. Pyst reviews their briefing.
"Another one of those crack house deals. Damn hippies never learn."
Pyst grabs a coffee cup and takes a sip.
"Was that my coffee?"
"No, its mine."
"Bullshit! Your cup is on your side, you're stealing my coffee!"
"Am not."
"Give it up!"
Rodriguez lets go of the wheel and grabs for the coffee. The car swerves left and right.
"Hey watch it Rodriguez! You'll spill my coffee!"
"You mean my coffee!"
"All right, you want it? Here!"
Pyst tosses the coffee at Rodriguez and the steaming java lands on Rodriguez's crotch.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! HOT!!!"
"Don't be such a pansy! HEY WATCH THE WHEEL!"
The car crashes. Rodriguez and Pyst are slammed against the dash board.
"Are we dead?"
"No, but I can't figure out why the-"
The airbags deploy suddenly.
"-airbags haven't gone off."
"Aw, son of a-"
Pyst draws his gun and shoots the airbags. The two climb out of their car, followed by the camera crew.
"What'd we run into anyway?"
The two inspect the wreck. Their police car collided with another police car. WWW stands next to his car, a shocked look on his face.
"What the hell is wrong with you guys? I could have been in there!"
"Uh...sorry..."
"Yeah, sorry..."

Twisted sees the crack house about a mile away from his position. Twisted decides that he'll show off in front of all the cops that are already there. Twisted slams on the gas but doesn't move.
"Awwww fuck I'm out of gas"
Twisted starts to push his car over to the nearest gas station. He fills the tank with gas and grabs a big gulp of coke on the way out. Twisted then slams the gas toward the crack house and when he's about a quarter mile away he turns the steering wheel and starts spinning out of control. Twisted has one hand on the wheel and one hand on his bug gulp so that it doesn't spill and parks the car blues brothers style right where WWW's car had just been.
When Twisted walked inside he saw Snickers sniffing things in a corner. Twisted walked over to him, Pistol-whipped him in the back of the head, and continued toward the crime thugs. He walked upstairs and looked straight into the eyes of a man who already had his guns drawn at Twisted.
"You can do this the hard way or the easy way. Only one way leaves you still breathing"

Snickers rubs head from that pistol-whip and walks up the stairs...he dodges into another room and combs his hair up into an afro. He than walks out and up beside Twisted.
"Good lord! It's Macy Gray with pork chop sideburns!"
"The funk is alive baby"
Snickers kicks the gun out of the druggies hand and slaps him down.
"Say it louder!"
"I give!"
"Say it looouuuuuderrr!!!"
"I give!!!!"
"Yea!"
"I give up! nananananana I knew that I would! nananana I give up! nanananana 'cause he's from da hood!"
Snickers does a bit of a dance and licks his teeth.
"All in a days work!"
Snickers looks at Twisted and waves him over. "Come on Twisted brother, you got soul. We should team up on this one."
"No thanks. My soul doesn't flow like that."
Twisted walks out of the crack house and sees Dark pulling up the drive way of the house.
"This job's over but you and me can take care of other ones together."
"I'll think about it"
The two both drove off quickly side by side with dark in his jet black Mercedes and Twisted in his silver Corvette coupe.
Rodriguez and Pyst sit staring at their beaten down, bashed up, shot up, and scratched standard police vehicle, then at Twisted's Corvette and Dark's Mercedes speeding into the distance.
"Donut?"
Another slightly different siren approaches from the distance. An ambulance parks near the wreck. Mon steps out in doctor attire.
"Anyone dead?"
"Nope. We're fine."
"You're sure?"
"Yup. Just a little dazed."
"DAZE!!!"
A paramedic team bursts out of the ambulance and ties WWW, Rodriguez and Pyst to stretchers faster the Goebbles could dish out another Nazi propaganda poster.
"Hey! What the hell! Boy you un-strap me from this mechanism before I...Hey what's that?"
"CLEAR!"
Mon presses the instrument to Rodriguez' stomach. A loud 'fump' sound can be heard.
"URK! Am I dead yet?"
"He survived. Barely. NEXT!"
Pyst's stretcher is brought to Mon.
"GET YOU HANDS OFF ME YOU DAMN DIRTY DOCS!"
"He's going to need CPR! Someone help him!"
Off in the distance, tumbleweed goes by.
"Well I ain't putting my lips ANYWHERE near his so...yup! He's okay! NEXT!"
WWW is finally brought to Mon.
"GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!"

The soul-squirrel Snickers moves coolly through the walls of the crack-house, almost as if to some unheard and yet funky beat, and soon reaches a crossing with Ajax, a panther sitting cross-leg in the center wearing a tie-dye shirt and what seems to be flare-camouflage pants and humming Pink Floyd's "High Hopes".
"What the… Ajax, Dude!"
Ajax speaks, apparently stoned out of his mind.
"Dude… they got some good catnip…wow…"
He shakes his head and comes out of it.
"Well let's roll!"
Undercover Squirrel bounces over to a door where a black arm is hanging out. He proceeds to perform a soulistic "gimme dap" type handshake.
"Blackness confirmed...you got soul..."
The door opens and two guys are sitting there raping a young girl and forcing her to sniff cocaine. Undercover Squirrel and Soul Panther bounce over to the guys and proceed to administer a serious ass whooping. After they untie the girl and let her go, they go into a room behind them and find James Brown.
"Whoa! It's a hippy panther and Macy Gray with pork chop sideburns!!"
"We're here to save you my fellow brother!"
He unties James Brown and lets him dance out of the room.
"What next? A talking marijuana plant that wants to kill us because we killed his customers?"
Just then a 7 foot tall marijuana plant walks in and roars!
"Roar!!! You killed my customers!!! I'll kill you all!!!"

Rodriguez and Pyst sit on the hood of their broken car eating donuts.
"-and then I said 'get the hell off my lawn!' and he was like 'fifty dollars!' and I was like 'I told you! The gnomes aren't for sale!"
"Riiiiight..."
Gunshots are heard from the crack house.
"Ya think they need us in there?"
"They'll radio us for help if they need us."
The camera zooms in on the radio, which is accidentally left off.
"So, seen any good movies lately?"
"I saw 'Saving Private Ryan' again."
"Ya? How was it?"
"Meh, same as usual."
Camera is showing the front of the house with Rodriguez and Pyst sitting on the car's hood in front of it. Behind the house can be seen smoking with various flames appearing at the window. Through glimpses the Mary-j plant can be seen chasing after Soul Panther and Undercover Squirrel. Suddenly the house shakes and starts to vibrate. In a cloud of rubble and ash it falls down. Rodriguez and Pyst continue to sip coffee. Suddenly, the camera zooms in on a flying pack of cigarettes. It flips through the air and heads directly for the back of Pyst's head. Slow motion as it's only a few centimeters away... It slams into Pyst's head. Camera focuses on Pyst's eyes. Zooms into the irises... Images of violence, fire, explosions, screams of pain, death flash through the eyes of the seriously pissed Pyst. He roars with fury and leaps into the rubble with his bare hands outstretched. Various cat screeches along with what sounds like Pyst laughing are heard. The M-j plant can be seen trying to crawl away from the manic squirrel. It crawls...straight into the shotgun barrels held by Officer Rodriguez. Rodriguez waves. Then he thinks.
"If you're here then who's...Oh FUCK, PYST! THAT'S AJAX AND SNICKERS!!!"
The fighting comes to a halt. Pyst is holding both of them by the scruff of the neck.
"You sure?"
"Yeah, I think so."
"Uh…"
The sergeant just shrugs. The marijuana plant makes a move. Rodriguez blows its head off. Pyst and the sergeant hop into the car. First one speaks, then the other, then both.
"Another day on the job."
"Another case solved."
"The city is safe thanks to officers Rico and Rick!"

Soul Panther and Undercover Squirrel shake themselves off and dance away from Pyst and Sarge and into their car.
"Whoa... like that was close eh soul?"
"You know it brother..."
They give each other some dap and Undercover squeals tires into the city again. Undercover spins the car into a small barbershop.
"Here we are..."
"Wha? A barbershop?"
They slowly walk in and sit down in some chairs that send them down into the secret black police base.
"This is where all the soul takes place...none of the other whities out there know about this."
"Smooth man..."