(A/N: Sarge and Pyst are hilarious. Note that I interchangeably refer to Sarge as Rodriguez, Rico or Sarge. Pyst is sometimes referred to as Rick, Pyst or Gores. Not much more to say.)

Twisted turns the volume up on the radio to Eminem's "without me". Dark looks through the window of his car to see Twisted bobbing his head up and down to the beat. Dark realizes what he was doing and decides to turn up a song of his own. He blasts the bass to the tune of another Eminem song. The two drag race down the street with both stereos blasting. Twisted gets a radio from Sarge that he needs to get back to work.
"Fuck that"
"There's always a chance we can do a good deed"
The two look at each other.
"Naw."
They continue driving.

Rodriguez and Pyst roll along the highway with Elvis playing. Pyst makes a move for the radio.
Rodriguez aims a shotgun at him.
"Don't ever touch a Sergeants radio!"
Pyst mumbles something.
"What'd you say?"
"Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?"
"Hell no! Nobody understands the words that are coming out of your mouth..."
Rick and Rico's police car speeds along the freeway, keeping the city safe. Further along the road, a shadowy figure sprinkles the ground with tacks. Rodriguez sings.
"I cant get no! du du da da da da I cant get no!"
The car flips through the air with slashed tires, and soars for 300 meters before landing upside down on the freeway. Sparks fly and the car groans with pain.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
The car skids to a stop, upside down.
"What was that?"
"Beats me. But lucky we kept our cool."
"Yeah."
Rodriguez and Pyst climb out of their car.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
Sarge leaps into Pyst's arms as 20 or so cars speed past. The two squirrels can feel the breeze coming off the speeding vehicles. Suddenly a silhouette appears in front of the cars headlights. Pyst drops Sarge. Sarge snaps to his feet. Deja steps forward, illuminating her features.
"It had to be you...you couldn't just tell us to pull over could you?"
"Where would the fun be in that?"
"And you two are related?"
Both of them punch him in the face.
"I feel seriously outnumbered here..."
The three flip the car back on its tires, with some difficulty, before driving off...having of course removed the tires and driving just on the metal.
Sarge is driving, Deja is in the passenger seat, Pyst is in the back with the camera crew. Pyst pushes the camera crew over.
"Hey why do you get to drive?"
"Cause I'm charge, get it through your thick skull!"
"Well then why does she get the front seat?"
"Because a real gentleman lets the lady sit up front."
"I ain't a gentleman!"
"Well I'm not some goodie two-shoes girl either! So sit down!"
Deja shoves Pyst back into the back seat. He knocks the cameraman over.
"Hey watch it you dumb ass! That does it! Pull over Sarge!"
The car pulls over.
"What now?"
"You two can go and fight crime your way! I'm going under cover!"
Pyst quickly changes into his street clothes.
"I'm going Narcin'!"
"Ha ha NARC!"
"Shut up!"
"See you around, NARC!"
Pyst mumbles to himself.
"I'll narc your asses you narcing narcers!"
Pyst snatches the car's shot gun and stuffs it in his trench coat.
"OK, I'm going in!"
Pyst exits the car and runs commando style around the streets.
"What a moron."
"Heh heh, Narc!"

Cops now presents: The life of Rick "Pyst" Gores. In between answering questions in an interview, some of his exploits will be shown.

PYST "Yeah, I've been with narcotics for a few hours now. But you'd be surprised how much shit you can get done in a couple of hours.

Pyst busts into a crack house with a shotgun.
""FREEZE MOTHER FUCKERS!!!"
The weasels run for their guns. Pyst shoots them all.
"Yeah that's right! Give me a reason to shoot! Makes the killing legal!"

"Yeah, these cases are pretty tough; you're always putting your ass on the line. Then there are people who always piss you off, but you can't shoot because of all this red tape! I mean you have to improvise in order to kill some one!"

Pyst runs up behind a drug dealer, weapon drawn.
"HANDS UP DICK WEED!"
The drug dealer quickly raises his hands in the air.
"Now turn around, slowly..."
The drug dealer turns around slowly and faces Pyst.
"Now put your hands in your pocket!"
"Huh?"
"HANDS! IN YOUR POCKETS!"
The drug dealer slowly puts his hands in his pockets.
"HE'S GOING FOR A GUN!!!"
Pyst opens fire.
The drug dealer falls dead before he hits the ground.
"You have the right to remain silent..."

"This job can be pretty rough. I mean, nobody likes cops these days. Everyone's out to get us."

Pyst is talking to suspect on the street.
"So now you're telling me you didn't hide the drugs."
"Yeah, thats what I'm saying."
"What do you think I am, some kind of idiot? You're under arrest!"
"Look out behind you!"
Pyst turns around.
"What! Where!"
The suspect runs like hell. Pyst turns and sees the suspect running.
"HEY!"
Pyst draws his gun and fires.
"Ok, shut the camera off. Yeah, NOW!"

"Yeah, I've made a lot of busts. Of course I haven't really turned any cocaine to the proper authorities yet. It's usually pretty hard to keep track of that stuff. Everyone's trying to get at it so the coke always disappears some how..."
Pyst snorts. His nose starts bleeding.
"Aw fuck! Turn that camera off!"

Dark pulls his black Mercedes up to a curb. Four guys are standing there; one has a girl up against his car. The girl is struggling to get free, but can't overcome the man's strength. Dark signals to Twisted that he can handle it. The camera crew stays in the confinements of the panther's car as he goes to stop the rape. The men look at Dark and soon encircle him. Dark says he doesn't want any trouble but apparently, they do. The first rapist rushes the panther. Dark spin kicks the rapist's jaw, and follows through with a jump-spin kick to the next one's cheek. The last two pick up weapons. The first to attack has a beer bottle. He swipes at the panther, but the panther dexterously catches the attacker's arm. The bottle is used against the attacker and is slammed over his head. Blood oozes from open gashes. The last rapist chooses to be stubborn and attack. He takes a steel pipe and swings. Dark catches his arm, shaking his head. The panther puts the rapist's arm over his shoulder and snaps it. The bone pierces the skin, shooting blood upwards.

"Sarge, I think there's someone hanging onto the car."
"Get the camera guy to look."
The cameraman turns around to see a familiar tediz open the door and sit down.
"Hey Sarge, I need a ride."
"Why?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Because you and Pyst destroyed my car!"
"Oh... yeah..."
"I'll just hop out when I need to."
Sarge and Deja arrive at the police office. Most of the gang are sitting around, waiting for a call. Sarge walks over to the donut box. Suddenly he roars in anguish. Sarge holds up a floppy donut.
"I don't know who did it...all I know is that this donut has puncture marks on it and all the jelly's been sucked out."
He looks at Dark.
"You wouldn't know anything would you?"
Dark walks away.
"I'll be in my coffin"
Everyone's in the lounge doing whatever when they hear a loud slam outside.
"No. You go back to the lab. My assistant has some test he need to do on you."
They hear a roar and wings flap. As the sound fades away, the lounge door bursts open.
"Hey, everybody! Miss me?"
"Chael!"
"Where were you?"
Chael walks over to Sarge and whispers to him.
"The Agency sent me to do some covert missions. You know, an assassination here, an exploding building blamed on a terrorist group there. That and I made a few stops on my way back...excuse me for a second."
Chael finds ILZ's locker and tosses a baggie into it.
"Like I was saying. When I got back they told me you guys were doing some work here for the police, so I decided to join in on the fun. So...whose ass are we taking down now?"
Chael pulls out a remote mine launcher.
"All we've found were petty drug lords."
"That sucks...alright, donuts."
Chael opens a box of donuts and starts stuffing his face.