(A/N: The first chapter that isn't being uploaded at the same time as the first three chapters. Anyone who read this when I made it will note that all layout problems have been fixed, thanks to Gappap. He and I are planning something special for the credits/wrap-up of this. I hope you'll like it, because it's ing hilarious.)

Officer Pyst riding in his police cruiser.
"Yeah, we got a call just a minute ago, apparently some Tediz have been out and about stealing somebody's car. Two other officers stopped some tediz awhile ago and we think these might be the guys we're looking for."
The cruiser pulls to the scene. Two tediz are standing by a car, two Squirrel cops wait off to the side. Pyst walks up to the first tediz.
"Excuse me sir. Is that your vehicle?"
"Noossa it's cuusan's."
"Oh, it's your cousin's. Is that your cousin over there?"
"Nosa tasa muh fwend!"
"Ah, he's your friend. So where's your cousin at?"
"Uh, meah dun now."
"Don't know? Do you know where your cousin could be?"
"Uh, no."
"Uh-huh. All right, here's what's going to happen, I'm placing you under arrest for car-jacking."
"Nah, nah, nah!"
"HEY!" Pyst draws gun "Was I talking to you? Huh?"
"No."
"Then stay there and shut the fuck up!"
Pyst holsters his gun and turns back to the first Tedi.
"Meah gost wif and kyds!"
"Well its nice you got a family, but you should have thought about that before you started stealing cars"
"SEE YA IHN HELL!!!"
The second Tedi runs away.
"He's making a run for it!"
Pyst draws his gun and opens fire. The Tedi drops dead.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"
The first Tedi runs away.
"There goes the other one!"
"I got him!"
Pyst fires on the first tedi. The tedi drops dead. Pyst turns his gun to the camera.
"Okey-dokie, shut the camera off. Yeah, shut it off. Shut it off!"
The camera turns off for a moment.
"Unfortunately what we had here was a violent shoot out with some tediz. Those little bastards are always stealing stuff and making trouble around here..."
Pyst turns and hurls a grenade at the car.
"...It's times like this, when we get scum like them off the street, I really love this job... that's what its all about!"

"I just got a call, apparently we got a couple fighting again, its not the first time this happened... We know this couple pretty well..."
Pyst's cruiser pulls up to the scene. He exits his car and knocks on the front door of the house. A beat up weasel opens the door.
"Excuse me sir; we got a call about-"
The weasel's wife pushes her husband out of the way.
"Officer! Arrest this fucking piece of shit now!"
"Calm down ma'am, watch your language please..."
"This fuckin' jerk off won't get a damn job! All he does is sit on his fuckin' ass and watch TV!"
"Yeah, well you didn't have to fuckin' shoot me you bitch!"
"Shut up you fucking bastard!"
"HEY! WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT THE FUCKING LANGUAGE!? NOW BOTH OF YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I START BUSTING SKULLS!!!"
The two shut up.
"All right! Now listen ma'am, we've been over this a whole bunch of times, and you can't shoot your husband just because he won't get a job."
"But I-"
"AH! It's my turn to talk all right?! Now, do have any idea how many times I've been out here? Huh?"
"I don't know..."
"You don't know?"
Pyst sighs.
"Look, what do you want me to do?"
"I want you to arrest him!"
"!"
"I can't arrest him! He didn't do anything! Maybe I should arrest you for assault!"
"But I-"
"Look, maybe we should separate you two for tonight, you know, so you guys can clear your heads, work this out tomorrow."
"...All right..."
"OK, got any thing you need to grab, some clothes or anything?"
"Yes..."
The weasel's wife returns to the house.
Pyst is informing his superior Capt. "Sarge" Rico of the situation.
"Yeah, so she's ticked that he won't get a job."
"Uh-huh."
"So she shoots him."
"Uh-huh"
"And all hell breaks loose. So we're just going to separate them for the night."
"Yeah, cause I know we're going to have to come out here again..."
"I'm telling you, I'm ready to just shoot them both and burn the damn house down!"
"I hear you."
A commotion comes from the house.
"'The hell?"
"WATCH OUT SHE'S GOT A GUN!!!"
The weasel's wife bursts out of the house carrying a really big shotgun.
"HOLY HELL!"
She blows her husband away, and then turns to the cops.
Officer Pyst makes a mad dash to his cruiser and pops the trunk. He pulls out his trusty anti-tank rocket launcher and fires at the house, setting it and the Weasel wife into flames.
"Whew! Glad we stopped that before it got too messy!"
Sarge watches, as the house is consumed by flame.
"It already has..."

ILZ patrols the inner-city neighborhood in his police van. Although a cop, ILZ's attire has only changed slightly, his jeans and red, gold, and green shirt switched for a police uniform. However, he still wears a Jamaican cap on his head, and he still has dreadlocks. He hears something on the radio.
"We've got a report of some teenagers using narcotics on Gibson Street."
"I will take ceah of it."
Driving to Gibson Street, ILZ spots the three weasels with a few ziplock bags full of mary-j.
"Yu three dea, stop right now."
They begin to run away, not wanting to be arrested.
"Dommit."
ILZ pulls a large, rifle-like gun out from the back seat, aims, and fires three times. All three fall like rocks. He walks over to them to put them in the car.
"Dese nu tranquelaiza rifels de sopply pock a wollop."
Dragging the three into the car, ILZ grabs the bag of marijuana. He looks at it and then tosses it in the glove compartment.
"No sense letting it go to waste."
With that, he began the drive back to the police station.

Officers Pyst and ILZ
Their cruisers are pulled up in front of a beat up old house.
"So, whadda we got in dere?"
"A few tediz, three or four, been dealing and transporting coke around this neighborhood. We're going to go in there and... Take care of the situation if you know what I mean."
"Not really."
"You'll catch on, now load up!"
Pyst pops open his car's trunk and begins pulling out a bunch a various fire arms.
"Wait mon! Shouldn't we wait for back up?"
"There ain't no back up coming! I made sure of that so we could have more stuff to shoot!"
"Uh, right..."
"Come on, let's go!"
Pyst talks to the camera.
"These busts are always dangerous; never know if they waiting for us or packing heat. It's best to stay on your guard and yell a lot to catch them by surprise. Oh, I almost forgot, you guys signed your waver forms in case you get your heads blown off, right?"
ILZ and Pyst stand ready by the front door. Pyst chambers a round into his shot gun.
"On three, kick the door and act like a shield while I gun down the drug dealers."
"Why do I haf to be da shield?"
"Fine, don't be the shield you wuss! Just kick the door open!"
ILZ kicks the door down, Pyst charges inside screaming.
"FREEZE MOTHER FUCKERS OR I'LL BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT!"
Four tediz are in the room, one of the tediz, high on coke, sits up. Pyst blows the tedi away.
"Wot the 'ell is wrong wit yoo mon!"
"It looked like he was going for gun! How was I supposed to know!"
The remaining tediz put up their hands.
"Yoo hand cuff dem, and no killing for no reason!"
"Yeah, yeah..."
Pyst eyes the tediz evily. One of the tediz scratches his nose. Pyst blows the Tedi away.
"Dommit Pyst!"
"I thought he was going for a gun! I swear!"
ILZ shakes his head and begins to search the house for any tediz they may have missed.
"Don't kill any moor of dem!"
Pyst mocks ILZ as soon as he's out of earshot.
"Don't kill any more of them, waa waa waa!"
Pyst watches the two nervous Tediz.
"Hey, is there any coke under that couch?"
The tediz shrug.
PYST "You, check under the couch! NOW!"
The tedi slowly crawls to the couch and reaches under it. Pyst blows the tedi away. ILZ charges back into the room.
"WOT DA 'ELL DID I SAY!!!"
"He was going for a gun! See? He was reaching under the couch!"
"That dos it! YOU go search de house! I'M watching da las tedi!"
"Fine, be that way you pansy... LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU ITS A THREE HEADED MONKEY!!!"
"Wha?"
ILZ turns around; Pyst blows the last Tedi away. ILZ looks at what's left of the last Tedi. Pyst stands off to the side trying to look innocent.
"...Ah ta 'ell wit it!"
ILZ leaves. Pyst grins evilly and collects the tediz' drugs.
"I'll be able to retire in no time!"