Chapter 5

She looked across the table at him as they finished their dessert. He was still a sucker for chocolate ice cream she could see. He was finishing her dish when he looked up and caught her looking at him.

"What? Do I have ice cream on my face or something?" He was smiling.

"Nope, I'm just still a little in shock. I can't believe your reaction to seeing me. I was certain you wouldn't even want to talk to me."

"I thought I would, too, to be honest. But then I saw you and I wanted to hear what you had to say. I just wanted to put it all behind me. I've imagined this evening about a million times, and every time I said all these terribly witty, terribly hurtful things to you and just left, but that's not how I felt. I was angry, don't get me wrong, but I missed you more than I was mad at you."

"So, we've talked and we had dinner. What do we do now? Where do we go from here?"

"I don't know, but I want you back in my life. I really need your friendship. I haven't felt connected to anyone, other than family, and Rebecca, for a long time. I feel like I'm going to explode if I don't have someone to talk to."

She glanced at her watch. "Oh wow, it's really getting late. Are you going to drive home tonight?"

"Uh, yeah, I didn't plan to be here this long, but I should be going."

"Are you sure you won't fall asleep or anything?"

"Are you trying to ask me to stay?"

"Are you wanting to?"

"Are you forgetting about your significant other?"

"Are you aware that I was lying to you?"

"Excuse me?"

"Well, haven't you heard of an out plan?"

"You had an out plan for dinner with me? Did you think I was going to try to rape you from my wheelchair?"

"Kevin, don't be ridiculous, I was just unsure of how this would go, so I had an elaborate story for you, but we just didn't get that far."

"Honesty is the best policy, eh?

"Now you're Canadian? Did they implant an "I think I'm a lot funnier than I really am" chip in your brain during surgery?"

"Harsh, but well-deserved."

"So are you coming up or not?"

"Is this a sexual invitation?"

"Probably not, but we could make out a little, see if you've learned anything new."

"Beth, I'd really like to, but I can't just . . . It's complicated."

"Oh, well, the room is accessible, the bathroom and everything, I mean. You can have as much privacy as you need, or whatever you need, just tell me."

"Well, I have everything I need with me, but I might need some help."

"Sure, anything."

"Can I borrow your toothbrush?"

She rolled her eyes, walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck from behind and kissed his cheek. "Yes, you may definitely borrow my toothbrush, but I'm fairly certain we can get you one at the front desk."

"I'll get it."

"Nah, we'll just call down for one later, let's go up."

He was a little apprehensive about staying. She could tell, but she felt they had to go through with this night. She didn't think they should sleep together, well, actually she did. Not sex, just cuddling, getting to know one another again. She was a little jealous of his being with Rebecca before her. She knew that was stupid, they hadn't been together for years, and she had certainly slept with Jake. They had been engaged to be married, but she hadn't even imagined that he would have been with someone else. But who was she that he would wait for her. I mean, he'd definitely slept with Jeanie while they were dating, so what was to stop him when they weren't even talking. She chastised herself silently. She was being totally unreasonable. Now he was watching her have this little conversation with herself and that made her apprehensive.

"You ok?" he asked.

"Yeah, just thinking." She pressed the elevator button for the 12th floor. There was no turning back now. He wasn't sure if he wanted to go through with this; he wasn't even sure what she was expecting. He hoped it wasn't much, he still didn't know exactly what worked in what way. But it wasn't like he and Beth had never been together before. She hadn't been his first, but she had definitely been his best. She had been the only one he'd ever loved, that was definite. Suddenly it hit him. He and Beth had a connection, a chemistry that was undeniable. Who better than her to trust with the unknown aspects of his body? She would understand him, move with him, make him feel comfortable. Hell, she was like an old pair of tennis shoes or a favorite worn-in sweatshirt, but slightly better looking. He decided not to tell her that, but his face must have lightened a bit because she took his hand and rubbed it slightly. The elevator door opened, and she walked beside him to the room.

She opened the door with the key card and held it for him. He looked up at her, "You don't have to do that," he said.

"Oh, so I should have slammed it in your face instead?"

"No, I'm just saying I'll let you know if I need help."

"Kevin, I just pushed open the door. I couldn't remember if it had a spring or not and I didn't want it to hit you. I'm not doing anything I wouldn't do with anyone else. I'm not trying to treat you differently, so please stop accusing me."

"I'm sorry, I'm just a little edgy all of a sudden."

"Kevin, do you trust me?"

"I don't know."

"Oh Kevin. I trusted you with my virginity, my reputation, everything. We know each other better than anyone else in this world. I won't ever do anything to make you feel uncomfortable or embarrassed. I love you. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you and that you had to turn to Rebecca. I wish it had been me, but I'm here now. I want to give you whatever it is you need."