Chapter 11
"Beth, maybe we should wait until I get back to get married." Kevin spoke up during dinner a few days after they returned from New England. Beth looked up from her plate and questioned him with her eyes.
"Why do you think that?" she asked.
"We probably aren't going to be able to move into the house until sometime in September anyway, and I'm going to be working in China. You can still come for the first couple of weeks, but you won't have to worry about moving by yourself. Besides, I know you've always wanted to get married at Christmas, so why don't we just wait until then. By that time we'll have our routine down; we'll be settled." Kevin seemed to have thought this through.
Beth sighed. "I guess that would be ok. It would give me a little more time to prepare and then all the moving would be over with. That would definitely make the wedding less stressful. I don't know, Kevin. It sounds like a reasonable idea. I want to marry you now, but I suppose we can wait." She smiled and tried to convince him that she liked the idea.
Kevin took his plate to the sink as Beth cleared the rest of the table. Kevin knew that she was upset, but he just needed a little more time. She would understand in the end, and she wouldn't be angry or sad. He smiled at the thought of spending the rest of his life with her, but knew he still had so much work to do before that would happen. He called back to her that he was going over to Jack's for a few hours and asked if she needed him to pick up anything while he was gone. She said no but walked over to give him a kiss before he left. He squeezed her hand, wanting to explain but not allowing himself to say a word. He turned and headed out the door.
"I don't know if I can do it, Jack," Kevin heard himself saying. "I love her more than my own life, but I still feel that she's sacrificing for me. She's always had so many hopes and dreams. I can't believe that I'm going to be enough for her, that I ever could have been. I can't marry her now."
Jack sat beside his friend and attempted to reason with him. "Oh come on, Kevin. You know that isn't true. Beth loves you and her biggest hope is to spend the rest of her life with you. What is this really about?" As soon as Jack asked the question he knew the answer. "You cannot believe some babble a psychic told you like five years ago. Please tell me this is not about what she told you."
Kevin avoided Jack's gaze. He couldn't answer, and his silence was enough of an answer for Jack. Of course that woman's words were constantly in his head. He heard them in his sleep, especially now that the wedding was definitely going to happen. His father had discredited the woman even before he knew what she had told Kevin, yet Will had been very interested in the exchanged that had occurred between his elder son and the self-professed psychic. Kevin had finally told his family what she had said, that he would dance at his wedding. There was, however, one important detail that he had omitted. Not only had she predicted that Kevin would dance at his wedding, she had said specifically that he would dance at his wedding to Beth.
He hadn't told his family. He and Beth hadn't spoken for nearly two years at the time, so how did the woman know Beth's name? There was no way to deny that this woman had some sort of powers or something. If she had been vague, general, or even trite, Kevin could have put it out of his mind, but she wasn't. He explained all of this to Jack and was met with a shocked sigh.
"Shit." Jack whispered. "Why didn't you tell me this sooner?"
"I don't know. I've been trying to get it out of my head, but all I do is think about it. The first night Beth and I were together again, I dreamed we were dancing. She was wearing a long white dress. Very wedding-like."
"Man, I don't know what to tell you. You've made a lot of progress in the past few months even after the doctors said you may not, but there's no guarantee it will continue. Do you really want to put your life on hold for something that may or may not happen?" Jack asked.
"I don't know. I just don't know what to do."
"Kevin, I can't tell you want to do, but whatever you decide I'll be here." Jack decided. Then he added, "Just don't be a jackass."
Kevin smiled and extended his hand. "Thanks, man. I'd better get out of here. We're definitely gonna have to talk. I just don't know what I'm going to say yet. Thanks for hearing me out."
"Anytime. I'll see you tomorrow for lunch at the pub?" Jack stood to walk Kevin to the door.
"Yeah, I'll be there. We won't have too many more of these, you know. Anyway, let's not think about that now. See you later." Jack closed the door behind him, and Kevin drove the long way home. He was passing the park just a block or so from home when his cell phone rang. He recognized the number as Joan's, so he pulled to the curb. Maybe she would have some insight for him.
"Hello."
"How's my favorite brother?" She asked.
"Don't know. Haven't talked to Luke today." Kevin joked in return. "What's up?"
"Nothing, just thought you might need to talk."
"Perfect timing, little sis. As a matter of fact I do." Kevin related the events of the evening to Joan starting with the dinner conversation, his admission to Jack, and his own indecision about how to proceed with Beth.
"Well, Kev, you two just bought a house. She's going to quit her job and move hundreds of miles away with you. She's been waiting around for almost five years now." Joan began.
"I know, and I don't want her to think I don't want to marry her, because I do, more than anything. It's just, how could that woman have known about Beth?" Kevin implored.
"I think you're missing the point here. That lady told you that you would dance at your wedding to Beth. The important part of that sentence is 'wedding to Beth.' I've seen you two dancing hundreds of times. Mom cried the first time she saw the two of you at that family picnic a few summers ago, of course, so we're over it. Kevin, you may or may not walk again, but that doesn't define who you are. Beth loves you. She wants to be your wife, have your babies, share your life. If you can't see that when you look into her eyes, then you're completely delusional. And that has quite a bit of meaning coming from me."
Kevin laughed. "Seriously, Joan. I thought you owned the patent on delusional."
"Don't change the subject, Kevin. I can't talk much longer, but let me leave you with this: If you marry Beth, you will most certainly dance with her at your wedding. If you don't marry her then nothing comes true."
"Wait, are you telling me you believe this woman? She said you have a special connection with the universe!"
"Again, I am not the topic of this conversation, you and Beth are. If you don't want to lose her, and I do mean for good this time, you'd better go home to her, tell her you're sorry for being a jerk and send out the invitations."
"Wow Joan, you didn't mince any words there, did you?"
"Kevin, stop joking around. I'm serious. If you want to throw your marriage away before it even starts, that's up to you, but you're going to regret it. I don't know if you forget how miserable you were when the two of you weren't together, but I remember. You can't go through that again. Beth gave you back your life, don't take hers away." Joan was fairly harsh now.
Kevin didn't have a comeback this time. He was quiet for a minute. "You're right, Joan. I love Beth, and I want to marry her. It's just these old insecurities coming back again, and that's no excuse. Joan, I have to go. I have to talk to her, tell her I'm sorry. Thanks for yelling at me."
Without waiting for Joan's reply, he hung up the phone. He pulled the car back onto the road. It only took a minute or two for him to make it home. When he unlocked the door and wheeled into the front room, he saw Beth, who had fallen asleep reading on the couch. He came over to her and stroked her hair. She woke up and smiled at him.
"Hi, Bethie. I love you." He kissed her forehead. "Are you awake? I need to talk to you."
She sat up on the couch and motioned for him to join her. He transferred to the couch beside her, and she snuggled against his chest. "You smell so good," she said. "What's up? What do you need to talk to me about?"
For the third time that night, and the first time to Beth, he explained why he was trying to postpone the wedding. He told her how Joan had put him in his place, and then he apologized for not coming to her with his apprehensions. Finally, he promised to try to talk to her about things that were bothering him in their relationship.
"Oh Kevin. That's amazing. How could you not be freaked out about this? That woman really said that we would be married even when we hadn't spoken to one another for over a year? She said we would dance? Of course we will. I understand if you want to wait, if you want to see what will happen, but please believe me when I tell you that I want to marry you. I know how excited and hopeful you felt after graduation day, but if you never walk again, I will still love you and I will still be proud to be your wife."
"I know that, Beth. I would never doubt you, but I doubt myself all the time. You could be with anyone in the world. Why me? I'm not anything I expected to be when we first met. I'm not. . ." he began.
Beth interrupted. "Before we met that day at the game, I had been engaged to marry Jake. He was moving to Denver and asked me to come with him. I was finishing school, and we had been together the whole time I'd been there. I agreed to marry him and move to Denver, but I never did either of those things. I was packing up my apartment and I found a letter that you had written me before I left home. I didn't realize that I still had it, but you said you would never stop loving me no matter how far apart we were. You said you knew that we were too young to make any decisions about life, yet you knew we needed to be in each other's life until we were ready to decide. I couldn't throw it away, pretend I hadn't seen it.
"I had been apprehensive about moving already, and hearing your voice through that letter made my past come back to me, and I couldn't go. Jake said if I didn't want to be in Denver, then I didn't want to be with him. So that was that. It was only a couple of weeks later that I talked to Joan and came to meet you. I didn't know what I was getting myself into, but I do know what I decided to leave and I knew I had cared very deeply for you before. I chose you. I still do. There was no magical formula or special selection process. I just followed my heart, and it keeps leading me to you."
"That is perhaps the nicest thing you've ever said to me." Kevin replied when Beth had finished speaking. "I just want you to be proud of me."
"I'm so proud of you, of everything that you've accomplished by plain old hard work. And now we're getting ready to start a new life together, far away from everything familiar. It's going to be so exciting, Kevin. We have everything in front of us. Jobs, the house, babies, minivans, soccer games, everything. I can barely wait. That's why I wanted to get married before we left. If you want to wait, I understand that and we can, but I'm just feeling impatient." She felt like she had spoken her mind finally.
Kevin realized how silly his reasoning now sounded. "No, Beth, we're not going to wait. We'll get married as soon as your parents get home. Can you plan that quickly? Maybe Bastille Day or something?"
"That sounds perfect. The Ambassador has already offered La Maison for us to use, the catering staff and everything. I wasn't sure what we were doing, but how about the 12th? The Bastille Day celebration will be that next week, the 14th, or we could do the week before, the 5th. I'm not sure which will work best. I'll have to wear off the rack with such short notice, but that will be okay. I saw something downtown last weekend that will be perfect. Let's do the 5th, that way the staff isn't too pressed for time the next weekend. We can't have the ceremony there, of course, just the reception, so where are we going to get married? Someone had mentioned the Naval Academy Chapel, but that's too far away. The monuments would be nice, but it's going to be Independence Day in D.C., so maybe we should go with the next weekend. Oh, sorry. I'm babbling. Let's go to bed. I have to call my sister in the morning to get this thing planned. That's only seven weeks!"
Seeing her excitement made Kevin certain that they had made the right decision. They would be husband and wife as soon as possible. Beth would plan an exquisite day, and they would share it with friends and family and everyone who loved them and had supported them over the years. She was already headed to the bedroom, and Kevin hurried to follow her.