I have returned from my trip from the land of the sun (aka Florida.) And look, I brought a souvenir; chapter FIVE! By the way, if you missed the memo, I went back and checked over chapter four, and I realized QuickEdit screwed up some of my ending dialogue. So if you were confused, that's why. Don't worry, I fixed it. This chappy is kinda short and a little more serious. But I do want to thank the lovely Deona Lindholm for giving me the idea for the basis behind this chapter!

To my reviewers: (or my "Section of Happy Peoples" hehe, thanks Kyone!)

Blitzkrieg9688: I must be a rebel and make a C/c fic, yes? I WILL NOT BE SILENCED! Glad you like.

vspirit: I do try to keep Canaan in character. Hehe. Jr. Short end of stick. I get it. Lol.

SephirothsGoddess: Glad you liked that quote! It just popped into my head, and it was like, "Canaan would so totally think that." Hehe.

Deonal Lindholm: As said above, your "Canaan is like Allen" comment totally got my brain thinking. They are alike, aren't they? So one thing led to another, and soon I had the basis for this chapter! Hope you don't mind. I thank thee. Bows.

Kyone: Do not worry, I am not offended. I consider it a compliment since you think my humble fic is better than an actual published work. No matter how soap opera ish it was!

OKAY! VIVA LA CHAPTER FIVEO!

It took me about ten minutes to realize once I had gotten in bed that I wasn't tired. I wasn't even remotely tired. In fact, I was completely and totally wide awake.

What I was, I soon found, was hungry.

Very hungry.

Reviewing my "eventful" day, I realized that I hadn't eaten even a nibble of food. I skipped breakfast, was knocked out during lunch, and didn't eat any dinner; I just sat there mutilating my food.

Needless to say, my stomach was complaining rather loudly. The problem was I was way too comfortable in my bed of a hundred blankets and pillows. I was exceptionally warm and toasty, and everything seemed so soft and inviting.

chaos had passed out only after a few minutes after we said our good nights. He looked absolutely adorable curled up on his bed, with a gentle smile adorned upon his face. Reason number two why I didn't want to move.

But was stomach was persistent, and it grumbled and whined, refusing to be ignored. To feed or not to feed...

I formulated a plan. I could go over to the mess hall, stuff my face as fast as humanely possible, and then dive back into bed in five minutes flat. Simple.

Or I could just be lazy and lay here hungry and cozy.

I figured it would be better to go with the former plan.

I hopped up and pulled on some slippers before heading toward the Elsa mess-hall. The reason I picked that ship? I still didn't know my around the Durandel too well, and I figured there would still be some people up even at this hour. And I didn't want to be walking around in my pajamas in front of strangers. Besides, the Elsa felt a little more "homely" so to speak.

So in my muscle shirt, under shorts, and comfy cotton slippers, I headed toward my destination.

It was dark in the Durandel docking bay and completely devoid of life. I walked over and was relieved to find the hatch on the Elsa still unlocked. It felt strange to be on the ship at night when only the dim night lights were on and my footsteps were echoing off the empty corridors. Everything was deathly quiet, except for the quiet hum of the engines. Even the multitudes of robots were strangely absent from their normal posts.

Creepy.

I padded toward the mess-hall.

Inside, I forgot about my uneasy feelings and headed straight for the food. I just grabbed a big plate and began pilling on all sorts of things: a half a sandwich there, a scoop of curry here, hmm, that chicken looks tasty too...

Soon I had a nice big stack of miscellaneous food-stuffs. I sat down and quickly began to stuff my face. The more I ate, the more I realized how hungry I was. I ate everything on my plate, and when I was finished, I leaned back in my chair, completely sated.

Much better...

I relaxed a little. I tuned out everything around me and went to work sorting through my day.

It's been just one crazy problem after another. All that mess just for some attention from that green-eyed mystery. I certainly have gone through hell for him as of late. I guess he doesn't call himself "chaos" for anything. Can't he figure out that all this is for him?

At first I thought that maybe he would start to notice me more since I had gotten emotions. I figure I could "open up" to him now, and he could see what the "real" Canaan was like, whatever that may turn out to be. I had this day-dream that he would see the care I had for him, fall madly in love with me, and fling himself at my feet, begging to be mine…

Of course, that was all a fleeting fantasy. Just a fake "happily ever after." I had done all that and all I had gotten from him was some clothes and breakfast. It was a start, don't get me wrong, but I was getting a little impatient.

He was an observant person, right? Couldn't he figure it out for himself? I mean, how else was I supposed to show him how I felt? Get down on my knees and let it all out? I think not. I mean, I didn't know how to flatter him with compliments. I didn't know how to be romantic. I'm doing the best I can. These subtle hints are all I've got, and I wish he could open up his eyes a little more. But I guess his vision was currently blocked by the plastic beauty of that cursed android.

I should face it.

I don't know how to get him to love me.

But, I really don't know how to love him.

I knew it would be a lot less hassle to give up and "just be friends," but then these darn feelings wouldn't dare let me live it down. And I didn't even "get" half of them. I mean, I honestly couldn't tell if what I felt for him was really love. Was it just a strong friendship I felt? But it didn't seem like it was…

Blah. This emotions thing is way too complicated.

I had successfully managed to get myself in a bad mood again. I just wanted to go back to bed and continue my pouting and pondering. I cleaned up my mess and trudged back to the Durandel, still grumbling about the man who had flipped my life upside-down. I was walking toward the cabin area…

…only to find...Allen? What was he doing up at this hour?

He was pacing fully clothed in front of the girl's dorm, softly mumbling to himself. Odd, even for him. I leaned in closer to hear him better.

"...so Shion, do you want to...no. Hi Shion! How about sometime we...no, no. Ah, hmm, ohh man..."

"Allen, what in the world are you doing?"

He yelped and sprung around.

"C...Canaan! What, you, I'm not doing, ah, nothing, nope, just minding, ah, erm..."

"Allen, relax. It's just me."

"Sorry...I'm just, you know, a little wired."

"I could tell. Shion issues?"

He sighed, "Is it that obvious?"

"Yes."

"You know, I think everyone knows I'm crazy about her, except her."

"It usually happens that way."

"I mean, she can drive me nuts sometimes, but, I don't know…"

"Are you in love with her?"

"What? No!"

I looked at him skeptically.

"Well, I mean, maybe, but…"

I continued my stare.

"Yes..." he said meekly.

"How can you tell?"

"Huh?"

"How can you tell that you're in love with her?"

"Umm, I'm not entirely sure. It just, feels right, you know?"

"Feels right?"

"Well, she makes me happy just by existing. I want to give her everything."

Hmm.

Perhaps he has some intelligence after all.

"I wish I could get the courage to tell her..."

"What's keeping you?"

"Rejection. Humiliation. And she might fire me or something. "

"Understandable."

"I'm so pathetic...I mean, she pays more attention to a dead guy than she does me..."

I patted his shoulder. "Allen, my friend, I believe we are more alike than you think."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"I see...say Canaan, what are you doing up anyway?"

"Just getting something to eat. And you were...?"

"Well, actually, I still have one of Shion's bags of clothes in my room. I was just going to go in to tell her about it, and then maybe get the guts to ask her out for lunch or something."

"Might I make a suggestion?"

"Okay."

"Wait until morning. It's almost one, and both Shion and MOMO will not be happy if you wake them up."

"Ohhh...yeah, I didn't, er, really think about that...thanks Canaan."

"Your welcome."

"I think I feel better. There are some things you can only tell strangers, right?"

"Apparently. But I think we'd both better get some sleep."

I started walking toward my room.

"Hey Canaan," he called behind me, "I saw the way you were acting at dinner. Do you have a..."

"Good night Allen."

"I'm just asking if you have, you know, a thing for..."

"Good night Allen."

"But..."

I walked into my room before he could finish.

That was close. Allen really needs to mind his own business.

chaos was still there, asleep. It looked like he hadn't budged an inch since I had left.

I sighed and sat down on my bed, kicking off my slippers. I replayed the conversation with Allen in my head.

It just feels right? What did that mean?

I leaned in and began studying his face intensely, trying to see if an answer was hidden somewhere.

You're happy just by having them exist...

That I did get. Just watching him sleep made me get that stupid bubbly feeling.

To give him everything.

I watched as he shifted slightly. As he did, this pale wisp of hair fell across his face. It took every ounce of will power I had not to reach over and brush it away.

I'm so lost.

It's not that complicated.

It feels like it is.

Listen, the simple question is, do you love him?

I...don't know.

Does it "feel right?"

I don't know.

Then figure it out.

I don't understand love.

You don't have to.

Hmm…

That "something" I had been feeling lately.

But...hmm...

You don't have to understand to feel.

Oh...

Oh my...

My entire reality came crashing down in that instant.

I...love him.

I love him.

I love everything about him, the way he talks, the way he acts, the way he teases people, the way he laughs. I want all his attention. I want all his affection. I want to know everything about him, what he likes, or dislikes. Did he have any family? Did he have any other friends? I want to be able to make him smile, to cheer him up when he's sad. I want to spend every waking moment basking in his presence. And lord, did I want to hold him and feel him in my arms right now.

I was shocked that all that confession had just been let out. I gasped for breath, because I realized I had been holding it. Everything felt heavy and dizzy. My head felt light. I noticed my hands were shaking ever so slightly. I felt exhausted to say the least after my silent epiphany. But strangely, now I wasn't sleepy at all.

And there he still lay, undisturbed.

All I did was admit I loved him...and look at me. I'm a total wreck. Wonderful. I'm such a wimp.

But, no matter what, I will get through this. I have to get through this.

I carefully reached out to his face. I felt his warm breath upon my finger tips. Gently, I moved his piece of hair back to its proper place. My hand lingered there against my will. His skin and hair were so soft and delicate, and I realized I had never felt them like this before. I had never been in such an intimate situation with anyone like this before. It was so…comforting.

My hand begged to learn more, but I pulled it back.

Not like this. Not while he's sleeping. Not while he's so innocent and defenseless.

I collapsed back on my bed, utterly spent, yet still wide awake. I didn't even bother getting under all the covers. I just flung some on me and buried my face in the pillows.

That night, I did not sleep.

I just lay there, trying to figure out what had just happened.

Oh, my sweet sweet chaos...what have you done to me?

Ah, love, tis a bitter sweet thing. So Canaan finally admits his love for the mysterious chaos. Sorry if his talking to himself confused you at the end. I am already in the works of making chapter 6 (gasp) but I really don't have a time frame of when it will be ready. Sorry!

Cheers-ATA