Chapter 18

The motorized lift moved so slowly that Kevin felt he would die before he made it to the top of the steps. Finally, he was at the door to their bedroom. He opened it and proceeded quietly, seeing Beth's sleeping form on the bed in front of him. Carefully, he moved beside of her and gathered her into his arms. Silent tears fell from his eyes as he held his sleeping wife. She looked pained even in her slumber. He wanted to hold her here in their bed forever and not let her go and not ever leave her. She stirred a bit and looked up at him with red puffy eyes.

"Are you real or a dream?" she asked sleepily.

"I'm very real."

He kissed her forehead and struggled to sit up behind her in the bed. She lay back on his chest as his strong arms covered her. She stayed strong for about a minute until sobs shook her body. He didn't try to say anything, he simply held her and stroked her hair. Finally, she was quiet and Kevin spoke.

"What can I do?"

"Just do what you're doing right now." She paused. "I didn't even know that I was pregnant until yesterday. How could I not have even known? How horrible is that?"

"Beth, you can't beat yourself up over that. There's no way you could have imagined that we would be able to conceive a baby like this. Even if there were signs, it would have been really impractical to think that. Everyone would have told you that you were crazy." Kevin didn't know how to have this conversation with her. He didn't know anything anymore. This was getting so old. Kevin was so tired of tragedy. Couldn't he and Beth just finally be happy? He wanted to make her life easy. Why did these things keep happening to them?

Kevin turned to Beth knowing this next part had to take place. "Is there anything you want to do before tomorrow?"

"Um, I've been thinking about it while I waited for you. I know it's way too early to tell whether the baby is a boy or a girl, but I think we should give it a name."

Kevin's breath caught in his throat. "Ok, sweetheart. I think that's a good idea. Did you have one picked out?"

"Bailey. That could be for a boy or a girl, and I think it's a good name."

Kevin nodded his head. "Yeah, Beth. That is a good name." He didn't want to change the subject, but he really needed a shower. "Bethie, I'm going to go clean up. Did you want to come with me?" She nodded and the two of them headed for their bathroom. Kevin carefully undressed Beth as she ran the water, checking the temperature with her hand and then her toes. When they were both ready, Beth helped Kevin move into the tub. She climbed in on top of him and pressed the button to start the jets. He rubbed her back lightly. She curled into a ball on his lap. They soaked more than they washed for the next half hour.

When they finished they dressed and went downstairs where Helen had prepared dinner. Beth admitted that she was a bit hungry and Kevin was starving. They ate soup and sandwiches at the kitchen table. Helen moved to clean up while the couple finished. Kevin stopped her, telling her that he would take care of it in a little while. He invited his mother to sit with them.

"Mom, we're so thankful that you were here. I don't know what Beth would have done without you these past few days. I know I'm going to have to go back to China soon, but I can be here with Beth for the rest of the week. We know that you have things to do at home to get ready for school. My boss's wife has volunteered to check in on Beth until I get back for good. She has a couple of friends from the gym who will be here if she needs them, too. We love you, but we can't expect you to take care of us. Beth and I have to deal with this."

Helen nodded in understanding. "I know you do. I just wanted to make sure that you were going to be all right. It's a hard thing to know when your kids can take care of themselves, but I'm learning to let go. I'm already packed. I was just waiting for you to tell me when."

Kevin reached for his mother's hand. Their relationship since his accident had been the most important in his life. She had endured the rehab time with him, learned everything about his new body that no one else cared to ask, and gave him a shoulder to cry on without ever letting him give up. Now, she had been there for Beth. Kevin loved the two women sitting with him more than anything else in his life. He was grateful for the relationship that they seemed to be cultivating, as well.

Kevin sent Beth back to bed as he cleaned up the kitchen. Only a few hours ago he had been at work, hanging out with the guys, feeling basically normal. Then Beth had called him. Her words had floored him. His only thought was to get home to her as soon as possible. Seeing the fear and sadness in her face had made his whirlwind trip worthwhile. His one wish was that he could made everything ok, but he knew from personal experience that this didn't usually happen. He placed the plates and bowls in the dishwasher and put the leftover sandwich meat in the fridge. Taking a look around the room, Kevin decided that the room was satisfactorily clean. He was exhausted and he missed his wife. He was almost thankful that he didn't have to walk up the steps to his bedroom. Five minutes later he was ready to climb into bed. He wrapped his arms around Beth, pulling her close to him. She was so quiet and still. He assumed she was already asleep when she took his hand and placed it carefully on her stomach. He heard her let out a tiny sigh. In response, he kissed her neck and stroked her hair. Finally, the two of them fell asleep, dreading the next day.

Beth woke up sensing Kevin's gaze on her face. He smiled as he brushed a strand of hair from her face. Her excitement at seeing him was quickly replaced by a sinking feeling in her stomach. She tried to push the bad thoughts from her mind. She stared into her husband's eyes. Her husband. She loved that thought. She loved him more. She hated that their reunion had been under such grim circumstances, but she was just so glad he was home. She couldn't do this alone.

After they had showered and dressed, Kevin suggested a walk in the development. Beth happily agreed to accompany him. They hadn't had much chance to explore their new neighborhood but hoped that they would be able to find a special spot like the playground near the College Park townhouse. Before they had a chance to leave; however, Helen met them in the front hall. She had already loaded her bags into the car. Kevin scolded her for moving out without his help. Helen ignored him and walked over to Beth, hugged her, and made both of them promise to call her if they needed anything. She leaned over to give Kevin a peck on the forehead. They both called out their thank yous as Helen turned to head for her car. They followed her to the front curb and waved as she drove away.

After she had gone, Kevin and Beth decided to continue with their walk. Turning left at the end of their front walk, the continued around the block until they reached the intersection. Beth glanced in every direction and suggested they head diagonally to what appeared to be a garden. As they drew closer, Beth realized that it was a garden, an exquisitely beautiful one with large ornately carved benches spaced sporadically along the perimeter. Beth squealed with delight. She ran ahead and selected one of the benches situated between a honeysuckle and late-blooming rose bush. By the time Kevin caught up to her, she was leaning back against the bench's side with her arms opened to him. He transferred from his chair and gently leaned back against her.

"Oh, Kev! Look at this place. It's just like Notting Hill. Isn't it lovely? This is it. This is our special place," Beth exclaimed.

Kevin didn't answer her. He simply sat in her embrace, taking in the sunshine and the aroma of the flowers and plants surrounding them. They stayed there for quite some time until he glanced at his watch. It was nearly two in the afternoon. He hated to break the silence, but they had to get going to the doctor's office. He shifted in her arms and attempted to sit up. She helped him forward. He told her that they had to go. She said okay and waited as he moved back into the chair. They moved slowly back toward the house. Beth went inside to grab her things and met Kevin in his car. He drove the five miles to Dr. Selzic's office with her hand holding tightly to his.

The nurse led Beth and Kevin to a private treatment room to wait for Dr. Selzic. Beth sat on Kevin's lap as he played with her hair and gently rubbed her back. When the doctor entered, Beth jumped up to introduce Kevin. They shook hands and exchanged pleasantries. Dr. Selzic smiled warmly and turned to Beth.

"You're right, he is gorgeous!" she joked. The women laughed while Kevin looked as though he didn't know whether to be amused or angry. He shook his head and smiled at the two women.

Beth was thankful for the distraction; it had definitely lightened the mood. But Dr. Selzic quickly settled down to business. Sitting facing Kevin and Beth, who had taken a seat beside Kevin, Melanie explained the procedure and its expected side effects. She told Beth that she would most likely feel nauseated for a few days and would definitely bleed as her body shed the uterine lining. She also explained that it would not be unusual for Beth to experience symptoms of depression. For this reason, a list of counselors and support groups would be made available with the discharge instructions. Beth nodded her understanding and Dr. Selzic asked if either of them had any questions. They said no, so she asked Beth to move up to the bed. She did so as Kevin wheeled himself next to her to hold her hand.

Dr. Selzic began, and in less than ten minutes they were finished. She asked Beth to wait for about ten more minutes before she got dressed to leave. She also asked Kevin to come with her to fill out some paperwork while Beth was waiting. He followed the doctor out of the room and into her office.

"Kevin, it really is great to meet you. I know that these are difficult circumstances, but in the short time I've known Beth, she has been on my mind. Both of you, really. I know personally how traumatic this experience can be, but this treatment is the best possible one for her. Another thing that keeps running through my mind is the fact that Beth was able to conceive. That in itself is an amazing detail that cannot be overlooked. It's a very encouraging sign to your future ability to get pregnant. I don't know if you thought about that, but you need to see the positive," Melanie began.

Kevin nodded as she continued. "I don't know your story, but I do know that she's going to need you. It may take a little while for this to hit her and when it does, you'll have to be the one who convinces her that there was nothing she could have done. I don't mean to pressure you, but you're going to have to be the strong one." Melanie checked her watch. "It's okay for Beth to go now. I'd say she'll be sick most of the evening and maybe even tomorrow. You'll be with her until then at least?"

Kevin nodded again. "I'll be here for four more days and then some friends will be able to check in or stay with her until I get back. I wanted to stay, but she won't let me. She says my job depends on me being able to broadcast those games. She's right, but I wish that I could be with her."

Dr. Selzic stood and approached Kevin. She placed her hand on his shoulder and looked him in the eye, "I can tell how much you love Beth. Just keep loving her."

"I will," Kevin promised.

Finally, the were ready to go back to Beth's room. Kevin was grateful to find that a nurse had come in behind them to wait with her while Dr. Selzic had called him into her office. He moved quickly to her and took her things, placing them in his lap. She bent down to hug him and he asked her if she was okay. She nodded and the nurse helped her finish dressing. Kevin tied her shoes and they were ready to leave. Beth made it to the car before the tears came. She leaned her head on Kevin's shoulder and cried silently until they reached the house. He put her to bed and placed a glass of water and a trash can beside her. He went downstairs to catch up on some work and place a call to his producer.

He had barely made it into the office when he heard her being sick. He headed back up the stairs. She had gotten out of bed and was doubled over the toilet. He came in to hold back her hair. He grabbed a cloth from the edge of the bathtub, ran it under the cool water, and placed it on the back of her neck. He rubbed her back as she knelt on the floor. A few minutes later she felt she was ready to get up. He pulled her onto his lap and took her to the sink where she washed her face and brushed her teeth. She said that she felt a little better, but that she was very tired. He put her in the bed and placed a DVD in the player before joining her. The opening credits to Notting Hill, Beth's all-time favorite movie,began. Kevin held her as they watched together. About halfway through, he noticed that she had dozed off. The clock on the bedside table told him that he needed to go back downstairs to grab his work and at least bring it back up to the desk in the bedroom. He tried to move without disturbing her, and amazingly enough he was able to do so. As he exited the room, he gazed lovingly at his wife. Even puking on the bathroom floor, she was the most beautiful woman he had ever known.

The next morning, Kevin woke in his office. He had apparently fallen asleep at his desk and was feeling not very rested. He started a pot of coffee before mounting the steps to check on Beth. She was still sleeping, thankfully. He thought she looked a little pale, and the dark circles under her eyes were still visible. She stirred slightly without opening her eyes. Kevin wanted to join her in bed. Instead he went into the bathroom to clean up.

The mirror revealed that his face was equally worn-out looking as Beth's. He started the shower water as he brushed his teeth and used the bathroom. He checked the water temperature before he slid into the shower. He reached for his shaving basket, lathered his face while he checked himself in the shaving mirror. When he finished shaving, he washed his hair and the rest of his body. As he rinsed, he pushed his hair back from his forehead and traced the jagged scar with his index finger. Then he gazed down at the lower half of his body. Normally this would have depressed him terribly, but today he had another thought. He and Beth had made a baby. It frightened him to think that in just a few months they would have been responsible for a child. He found that he couldn't sort his feelings. From the moment Beth had called him, his sadness had been for her. Bailey was his baby, too. With that thought, he finished his shower and returned to the bedroom where Beth was just beginning to wake.

"I don't feel like I'm going to be sick now. I think I'm going to take a shower, and then I have to get out of this house. I've been moping in bed for four days. That's enough to make anyone crazy! Let's drive around and find out what there is to do for fun around here."

Kevin agreed with Beth's idea and turned to get dressed. As he did so, he heard her humming over the noise of the shower. He was so thankful to hear that sound. Her mood seemed to have improved overnight. He hoped it would last, but he knew about acceptance and it didn't happen instantly. He ran his hand through his hair as he took one last look in the mirror. He reached for his shoes, placing each one on the correct foot. He hadn't noticed that the water had stopped until he saw Beth standing in her towel watching him. She was smiling slightly as she toweled her hair.

"Hi there, babe."

She walked toward him. He reached out his hand for her. She took it and allowed him to pull her down into a kiss. He let her go so she could finish dressing. He watched her as she bent to pull on her panties, slithered into her jeans, fastened her bra and tugged a tight t-shirt over her head. She stepped into the sandals lying beside the bed. She returned to the bathroom to finish drying her hair before joining Kevin back in the bedroom. She followed him to the stairs and then into the kitchen. She grabbed two mugs from the shelf above the sink while Kevin opened the fridge to retrieve the milk.

They met at the table. Kevin poured milk into the bottom of the mugs, and Beth filled them with the coffee. She waited a few minutes for hers to cool, but Kevin took a sip right away. He asked her exactly what she wanted to do that day. She said she wanted to check some of the shops in town for end tables for the living room as well as a new desk for his office. She held up a brochure from an antique shop that she had left on the counter. They finished their coffee and headed off to the car.

A few hours later, the two arrived back at the house with two new end tables and a few other bags in the back of the car. Kevin grabbed the bags and headed inside to grab a cart to load the tables on to bring them in the house. They weren't heavy, but their shape was a little bulky and that way they could bring both of them in at the same time. Kevin pushed the tables into the front room. Beth unloaded them and arranged them on either side of the couch. Kevin vanished but reappeared a few minutes later with a dust cloth and some wood polish. They worked on the tables until they looked new. Soon it was time for lunch. Kevin grabbed a couple of sandwiches from the fridge and packed a small picnic. He rejoined Beth in the living room and suggested they go to the garden for lunch.

Beth finished with the tables, washed her hands, grabbed her sunglasses and met Kevin on the front porch. By the time they made it to the park, several of their neighbors were already there. Two of the couples had small children who were playing at a small playground off to the side of the garden. The found an unoccupied bench to sit on, and Kevin pulled opened the lunch bag. He handed Beth a sandwich and a bottle of water. They ate quietly and she moved close to him. She retrieved a blanket from the bag on the back of Kevin's chair. As she unfolded it on the ground, Kevin looked at her uneasily.

"Not here, Beth. All these people."

She ran her hand over his shoulder, down his arm and interlaced her fingers with his.

"All I see is you and me."

He let her help him to the ground so he was sitting beside her, leaning back on the bench leg. Not satisfied with that position, he moved so he was lying on his back. She smiled and snuggled down beside him, placing her head on his stomach. He closed his eyes, imagining the lifetime they would get to spend together and thinking of tomorrow, when he would have to leave her. She wasn't asleep, he could tell by her breathing.

"Bethie."

"Hmmm," came her answer.

"I'm going back tomorrow evening."

Beth sat up and turned so she was looking at him. He pushed himself up on his elbows to an almost-sitting position.

"I thought you could stay until Monday."

"I need to go back. I have so much stuff to do before I'm ready. I'm supposed to talk to the guys on the team so I can report accurately on them and their lives. You know there will be a ton of human-interest stories. I want to stay with you, but you know that I can't."

She just nodded her head. "Let's stay here for a while longer," she suggested. "We'll walk around the rest of the neighborhood later."

He eased back and stared up at the sky. The sun had gone behind a cloud and the trees above them created an extra canopy through which the leftover sunlight streamed. It was a beautiful place that they now called their home. He wished they could stay in this garden forever, but knowing it could not be so, he closed his eyes to try to nap for a few more minutes.

She woke him about an hour later. Her cheeks had turned a bit pink from being it the sun so long. He hoped that he hadn't gotten too much himself. He glanced down at his arms, noting that they didn't appear to be red at this point. Beth pulled the chair close to them, but he decided to get in it from sitting on the bench. So, she helped him get into that position so he could place himself in the chair. It didn't take long, and they were pleasantly surprised at how well it worked. Beth gathered the blanket and the remains of their picnic as they turned to leave the garden park.

"Excuse me! You forgot this," a voice behind them called.

Beth and Kevin both turned to see a young woman coming toward them with Beth's jacket in her hand. Beth looked a bit perplexed, not having remembered bringing the jacket with her, until she noticed that Kevin's backpack was unzipped. It must have fallen from there.

Walking toward the woman, Beth smiled brightly as she took the article of clothing into her own hands. "Thank you so much, I would have been missing that very soon."

The neighbor just nodded then stuck out her hand, "I'm Selene McBride. I live two houses down from you. That little one there is my daughter Sydney." She pointed to the dark-haired toddler playing in the sandbox.

Selene continued, "My husband, Todd, works in administration for the hospital system. I noticed that you had moved it but hadn't had a chance to stop by and say hello. Please forgive me for being a terribly, terribly rude neighbor. We're normally pretty diligent about things like that here, you just moved in at the height of vacation and back-to-school seasons."

Beth explained that they had been out of town most of the time they had actually lived there and that Selene and her friends had nothing to worry about. Selene still insisted on inviting the couple for a meet and greet barbecue at her house. Kevin explained that he would be leaving the next day on business and Beth stressed that such measures really weren't necessary. Yet Selene was adamant. She promised to synchronize her schedule with Beth and Kevin's to make sure that the party took place as soon as Kevin was back in town. The Girardis thanked her as they left, although inwardly, they were both cringing.

Beth sorted Kevin's laundry and packed up his bags as he ordered dinner. Forty-five minutes later, the delivery guy dropped off their food. They took it into the front room so they could admire Beth's new tables purchased earlier in the day. Kevin switched the television to the Olympics. The last few events were playing out. The Paralympic games would open in three days, and he would begin broadcasting in five. Beth watched Kevin stiffen in his chair. She motioned for him to join her on the couch. He did so and leaned back in her lap. She began to massage his shoulders slowly and gently. He loved her touch. It was soothingly reassuring of her continued presence at his side, even when she wasn't there. Finally, she suggested the bedroom, and they left to spend their last night together for a few more weeks.

The next morning, Kevin roused Beth from her sleep stating he was going to try to make an earlier flight, so they needed to get going to the airport. He had already gathered his bags in the car when she finally made it downstairs following an abbreviated shower. She took her car, meaning she would have to pick him up from the airport when he got back. The trip passed quickly. She left him at the terminal. He only had his carry-on bag and wouldn't need any help getting to his gate, so he urged her not to park. He leaned over to kiss her, held her for a moment, and then left her for two more weeks.