Author's Note: I guess you could say this is the prequel to the first chapter or a prologue f some sorts, but I like the way it fits backwards so I am going to keep it in this order. I wasn't expecting to add anything else, but after the episode last night I got inspiration. Read, review, etc.
The second he started to throw up, I knew I had made a mistake. I flashed back to the first time I'd come down here. I was thirteen, grade eight, and I'd been roping in the new customers for Aaron.
"Get 'em hooked early," he'd always say.
And there I was, hooked. Hooked on the adrenaline and the risk that came with every deal. Hooked on the pain I'd face if I happened to fuck the slightest thing up. There was something to be said for being young and stupid. I just didn't know any better. Now that I was seventeen, I did. I had nothing else.
Aaron was on my case for the next week about getting the rest of the oxy. His threats weren't anything new to me, but I'd see him put guys a lot bigger than JT in the hospital for a lot less than making him wait for business. The only thing I could do was speed up the process, and JT practically being choked to death by a guy twice his size was speeding up the process.
When he came that night, it was more than apparent that something was wrong. He didn't have that goofy, clown boy, dawg fries look on his face. I was already buzzed, but it was obvious he had showed up for more than just fulfilling his commitment to Aaron. As I watched him drop the pills and the anger growing on Aaron's face, I realized it was time for me to take care of the problem that I started.
"Hey, easy. Easy, I got him. I got him," I shouted at Aaron until he backed away.
And here comes the crash. Guilt is not something that I've felt often. Maybe I really am nothing more than a robot, made of scrap metal and wires. Emotions mean nothing to me, they are foreign. There are only two times in my entire life that I can even remember feeling remorse about something that I've done. Both those times happened in the same week, so maybe I can blame it on faulty wiring. The first was cheating on Alex. The second was letting whatever happened between Emma and I, well, happen. Our relationship, if that's what one would call it, had never been ideal. However, underneath all of those fights and arguments had always been this unexplainable sexual tension. Maybe because growing up, the only romantic relationship I'd ever known was based on fights and shouting. When she was angrily criticizing me on pollution or stealing her Daddy's precious laptop I couldn't help but feel proud that I'd finally gotten to her. Gotten underneath her skin. And then I did again, except this time it was physically. It was the first time I'd ever felt something for a girl besides pure physical lust. But Emma Nelson is Emma Nelson and she didn't date guys that spent most of their free time getting wasted in some ravine. She was meant for guys like Sean, the ones with a hero complex. And the fact of the matter was that no matter how hard I had tried, it was Sean who saved her life, not me.
JT had the same look of vulnerability on his face that Emma had the first time she met me down here.
"Come on man, it'll be okay," I told him.
"It's okay? I lost my girl," he replied me.
I flashed on Alex, and how she told me to never talk to her again.
"I lost my best friend."
I remembered the look on Sean's face when we said goodbye.
"I lost my job, and my family. And now I'm probably going to jail."
I thought about trying to explain to my Mom why I was kicked out of school. The way she looked at me, like there was no hope left.
He'd done it. Somehow in this past week everything that he'd done had led him to a point that had taken me years to get to. So I told him to do the only thing that I knew made me feel better. My mantra, my philosophy, and the only thing I had left.
"At least there's a party."
The next thing that I remember was shaking his body and screaming for someone to get my car. But no one listened, and no one cared. I dragged him over to my car, yelling his name with each and every step. I sprawled him across the back seat and put the key in the ignition, hoping that I'd be able to make it. The road was blurry, or maybe it was my eyes, I was too drunk to tell. I didn't have control of the wheel, we swerved, but even that didn't wake him up. I kept one hand on the wheel, and put the other in my pocket to grab for my cell phone. I pulled over in front of the Dot as I called for an ambulance.
"This kid, I found him passed out at the Dot," I slurred.
Soon enough the flashing lights showed up, and while one man pulled him out of my backseat and into the ambulance, the other questioned me.
"What did he take?"
I paused.
"Kid, it's his life."
"Oxycodone, I'm not sure how much. His eyes rolled into the back of his head, and he just fell over."
"Hey?"
"Yeah?"
"Get in the ambulance, you aren't in any condition to drive yourself home, it's bad enough you tried to get this far."
There was no time to argue. The waiting room was bright and hurt my eyes, so I closed them, opening them only when I would hear the door swing open.
Liberty. I started, wondering how I hadn't noticed her stomach before. How no one had, it was Degrassi's best kept secret. Her parents were not far behind her, frantically questioning the receptionist at the desk. She was in a daze, her eyes meeting mine and burning a hole through me. She knew. She knew, but she backed away without saying a word because she thought had bigger things to worry about. And she was right.
That's why I came to the same picnic table every night. Why I sat there and swung my feet back and forth, counting the minutes since the last time I slept. Why I watched the police tape blow back and forth with the wind. Why I stared at the empty bottles across the ground, and why I flipped every one of those stupid lawn chairs upside down. They were the remnants. The remnants of everything JT Yorke had stood for during his short existence on this planet.