"Oh boy." Myoga gulped.
"Spill it, old flea!" Inuyasha yelled, "Or this time I'll squash you for real!"
"Nooo! Have mercy, my lord!" Screamed the flea, "Ok, ok! I'll tell you everything!" he panted, and then paused dramatically.
"It all started five months after my lord Inuyasha was born." Myoga narrated with a noble and mysterious tone, "Word had gone around that my lords' father had fallen for a human woman, my lords' mother. Many demons were appalled by my lords' father wedding a human woman, so they thought to destroy him. Others just wanted his power."
"So what's that got to do with"—Inuyasha started to say something, but Inukasumi kicked him in the head. "Go on, Myoga."
"Thank you, my lady." Myoga sniffed, "at least one of you appreciates me."
"Just get on with it." She snorted.
Myoga sighed. "Well, there was a famed demon mistress that my lord Inuyashas father had turned down many times in the past. She was a powerful match even for my lords father, and when she heard that he had turned her down for a human woman… you can imagine her anger."
"I don't remember her." Inukasumi said, "You told me she died short after I was born."
"Well… I lied." Myoga said cautiously, "But before you squash me, my lady, let me tell you it was for your own protection! Your mother was a wicked, wicked demoness!"
"Then get talkin'!" Inukasumi howled.
"Yes, my lady! You see, your mother wanted nothing more than for my lord Inuyasha to be her husband and have a child by his blood! She was very angry when she heard of my lord Inuyashas human wife, so she kidnapped her and my young lord."
"Mother and I were kidnapped?" Inuyasha asked.
"Yes, yes, and she put up a ransom of my lords' father to leave his human wife and son for her! But he fought her for ten days without rest in protest. He did not want to leave his son or mistress. But eventually he tired, and said merely that he had 'failed the ones he loved.' My lady Inukasumis mother did not want to make the man she loved unhappy. So she settled that she would return my young lord and his mother to my lord Inuyashas' father. But the catch was that she had to bear him a child, so a part of him would be with her always. He agreed, and they never met again. But my lord Inuyasha and his mother were safe. It wasn't long after that when my lords' father forged the tetsusaiga."
"Man… My dad sure got around, eh?" Inuyasha smiled nervously.
Miroku and Inukasumi ignored him.
"So Inuyashas father… Is my father, too?" asked Inukasumi.
"Yes." Myoga answered, "But your mother disappeared shortly after you were born. You were left to fend for yourself, because your father wanted nothing to do with you."
"How awful." Miroku said.
"Indeed. But he had his reasons, you know. My lady Inukasumis' mother was not the most likeable demoness."
"Yeah. She left me." Said Inukasumi coldly. "And after all she went through to have me in the first place."
"She did love you though," Myoga tried to reason, "She left you because she loved you."
"As if." Inukasumi stood up and wrung out her hair, "My father didn't want anything to do with me because I was the daughter of my pain in the ass mother, and my mother abandoned me. I met Sesshoumaru, but he didn't want anything to do with me."
"Why not?" Inuyasha asked, "You're a full demon, unlike me."
"But I met him after I knew you," Inukasumi explained, "I told him about how kind you were. He and I fought over if hanyou were equal to us. I lost my temper and kind of… insulted his clothing."
"What did you say, my lady?" Myoga gulped.
"I said 'at least Inuyasha doesn't wear a fluffy-wuffy-puffy cuddly-poo blankie.' And that you didn't wear eye shadow. I told him that maybe Hanyou dog demons were 'straighter' than full youkai ones."
Inuyasha was silent for a moment. Then he burst out in uncontrollable laughter, tears spilling down his face and all. He pounded the ground and gasped for air.
"What's so funny! I was defending you!" Inukasumi screamed.
"I know!" gasped Inuyasha, "But—No one has ever said anything like that to my stupid brother! Oh man, can I imagine his face!" he wiped his eyes and tried to stand up. "Oh, Inukasumi…" he embraced his sister, "You truly are family."
Inukasumi suddenly turned away and started shaking.
"What's wrong?" Miroku asked soothingly.
She turned back to her brother with tears in her eyes. "Nobody has ever called me that before," she choked, "F… Family… No one has ever wanted me in their family before!" She buried her head in her brothers' kimono top and held him tight.
"Hey, come on," Inuyasha said, with a slight hint of red on his face, "We're all each other has for family, if what the old flea said is true! I finally have a sibling worth caring about! I mean, my folks are dead and Sesshoumaru hates my guts… Everyone needs some kind of family…"
Inukasumi kept on crying with Inuyasha franticly trying to console her. Miroku just stared in a blind stupor. He was still taking in the fact that Inuyasha had a sister.
And a very well-built sister at that. Miroku had a pretty good view of her back end, and it was just as (if not more) tantalizing than Sangos rear. Inukasumi was wearing a cream-colored kimono that could have been a short dress, but she wore red leggings underneath it. Nonetheless, it was very flattering.
Miroku shook his head. This was the half sister of Inuyasha. That should have been enough to repulse him, but a gentleman like himself couldn't just leave a female in agony.
"There, there." He said calmly, "You aren't alone anymore. And--I know this may come as a bit of a surprise-- but…" Miroku grabbed Inukasumis' hands with his left hand, and patted her on the butt with his right. "…Would you consider bearing my children?"
Both Inuyasha and Inukasumi beat the crap out of him.
"Ah, well." Miroku said through a bloody mouth, "Can't blame a man for trying."
"Why the hell would you do that to my sister! My SISTER!" Inuyasha yelled, and hurled him back into the river.
"Think of how strong, how powerful our children would be…" sighed Miroku, "We could have Narakus head on a platter."
"Ah. Yes. Naraku. Um, well, I should be off! See you!" Myoga hopped off.
"So whenever I was in danger… He ran to you?" Inuyasha asked Inukasumi.
"And whenever I was in peril…" She wondered out loud.
"The little weasel."
"Why did he run away now, though? We weren't going to squash him yet."
"I was." Admitted Inuyasha. "Just for the heck of it."