"Okayyyyyy. And that means?"

"I'm too smart for them."

"But this place is for the insane."

"Yes."

"So how can you be too smart if you're insane?"

"Because I'm classified asan uncontrollable criminal. DL – 1Z is reserved for the people who are not crazy, just evil, which in their opinions is crazy, y'know? I'm a FTJO-PE, a First Timer Juvenile Offender, Predilection Evil. My intelligence is beyond their comprehension and my powers, if allowed to naturally expand, will become beyond their control. They think anyone born with powers measuring beyond a certain amount needs to be committed. That's how I got here."

"How—how long have you been here?"

"Oh, years…like what 6 or 7 years now? I got here right after you left."

Sirius was strangely intrigued—and more than a little creeped out—by this obviously crazy girl who claimed to be Lily Evans. "So you're saying that you're really Lily Evans? Sister Petunia Evans?"

Lily frowned at him, and her eyes darkened. "Unfortunately, yes, that is the name of my…sister. And why don't you believe that I am who I say I am?"

"Because you're crazy." Sirius blurted out.

"Uh-uh, not Deranged, Predilection Evil. And may I point out that you are the one classified 1A here, not me. So now who's crazy?"

"Apparently both of us. So, you're really Lily Evans, huh?"

"Yes." Lily said, dragging the word out, as if Sirius was slow.

"So then you know James Potter?"

"Oh sure." Her eyes lit up and she leaned closer towards Sirius, whispering conspiratorially, "we're dating. Shh, don't tell anyone."

Sirius gaped at her; now he knew she was crazy. He laughed at her. "Really, James Potter is here?" He responded sarcastically. "Gee, I so did not see that one coming."

She glared at him. "Yeah, that's what I just said, isn't it? He's in solitary though.

"Solitary confinement?"

"What else?"

"Why would he be there?" Sirius asked curiously. The way she spoke, so matter-of-fact, and the way she stared at him with those fathomless, brilliant green, which seemed to look right through him, was beginning to make him very nervous.

"Yep. He started going crazy like 10 minutes before you got here."

"Started going crazy? If he's here, wouldn't he already be crazy?"

Lily sneered at him. "Of course he's already crazy. I meant that he started spazzing...flailing about, screaming about getting a visit from someone, laughing maniacally. The usual. He gets fits sometimes. Last time he attacked one of the other lifers...it took five mediwizards to finally take him out. It was brilliant!" Her bright green eyes lit up at the memory.

Sirius had a vauge notion that he knew who she was taking about. "The other lifer that James—that James attacked…his name wouldn't happen to be…um, Snape, would it?"

Lily clapped her hands, eyes gleaming. "Yes! I knew you'd remember! Severus Snape he is. Been here 'bout as long as us all."

Sirius leaned forward and grabbed her hands, feeling disturbed, as if he might panic and scream any minute now…even though a part of his mind realized that any such impulsive behavior would be highly irrational and out of character. "Tell me!" Sirius commanded.

"Tell you what?" Lily replied, calmly, fixing him with that creepy stare again.

"What are his stats?"

"Whose stats?"

"James'! You know them don't you?" He exclaimed, a fanatical gleam appearing in his eyes.

"Yeah, of course," Lily responded slowly. Appearing to be unnerved by Sirius' sudden intensity she pulled her hands back.

"Then what are they? Tell me, I have to know!"

"Um, OK. Er, they're—"

"C'mon!"

"OK, OK!" She cried out, waving her hands in an effort to calm him down. She exhaled and leaned back in her chair, her eyes going slightly unfocused. "Potter, James. Patient X-4-6-B-A-8-0. Classification: Hostile, Violent, Aggressive, Deranged Level 1B. Solution: sedation, electroshock, behavior reprogramming, experimental exploitation. Property of Special Proj and Ops Division. Remanded to Hi-Sec Ward, indefinitely. Status: FFTRO-PS. Incarceration Code: 5-2-6-3-7." She finally answered, her voice flat and toneless, as if reciting from a textbook.

"What does that last part mean?" Sirius demanded, feeling that this information was indescribably important. "The 'FFTRO-PS'."

"Fourth Time Repeat Offender-Suspicion Sadistic." She responded promptly, seeming to have calmed down after channeling the information from James' ID bracelet. "His parents are rich so they can never hold him here long, but once he gets out, he eventually gets back in." She explained. "Actually, they're one of the biggest pureblood families around, so you could understand it came as quite a shock."

Sirius felt as if he had just plunged head first into icy water.

This...it can't possibly be...real. Can it?