Choices

Choice twenty nine: Lily

Dear Diary

I'm a bad person, so very bad. I need to be punished. I love Severus I really do and although it's a secret relationship I wouldn't change it for the world. We have so much in common and I love spending whatever time I can with him. But I don't know if it's enough I want to be with someone all the time not in secret but I still love him and oh my head hurts just thinking about it. And things are worse I've gotten a small crush on James, but that doesn't mean anything does it. I've gotta go and think.

Diary,

You won't believe what happened. I caught Scarlett kissing Remus out on the Quidditch pitch. It was so funny they jumped when James coughed and pulled apart looking so red. They were so busted but they're cute together so we left them to it and decided to go back to the Quidditch pitch later. Oh why you must be thinking but you see we're having a winter ball this year to try and cheer up the students. There's been so much death that a lot of people are afraid to go home, so we're having a Christmas winter ball in the Quidditch field for all those staying behind.

Diary,

Things are getting bad. Severus is jealous of all the time I'm spending with James. They don't get on at all and I know it's because of a prank that Sirius played on him in fifth year although he won't tell me what that prank was. I've promised to spend time with Severus but I still need to spend time with James because he's the Head Boy and we're organising this ball together. He'll understand I'll just have to get him a great Christmas present.

D,

Okay now I know I'm the worse girlfriend in the entire world, muggle and wizard alike. I've been telling Sevie that he has nothing to worry about and I go and cheat on him. I'm too upset to explain it now.

Diary,

Okay so I've explained the whole winter ball thing to you and well James and I told all the prefects to go and get ready for the ball earlier even though the decorations hadn't been finished. James and I rushed around and tried to finish it in time and we just about managed it. I was so happy that we managed it that I hugged him, which is alright because we're friends its allowed. But then the thing is I kissed him, and I mean I was the one doing the kissing. I kinda just gave him a peck on the lips and he pulled back but I couldn't control myself and I grabbed his shirt and pulled him back to me and I kissed him. Then I ran off and I should be at the ball but I can't see him or Sevie. Oh great Scarlett has just turned up she's going to make me go to the ball.

Diary,

Okay so I ended up going see I told you I would didn't I. It was a fun night I'll admit that I danced with Remus loads and then with Sirius a bit. Scarlett and I had a few fun dances and I danced with Peter, he's really good I'm sure he's had lessons. James asked me to dance and I did dance with him once but it was really awkward.

I found Sevie then and we danced but then I had to find Dickens and John and I made it look like it was a prefect thing. Sevie and I slipped away though and I give him his Christmas present and then I was called on the small stage by Dumbledore and he thanked me and James and made us dance together. It was really awkward but then I danced with Sirius some more and it was fun.

Diary,

Okay so it's been three days and things aren't getting any easier and it's worse yet, I have a bigger crush on James now than before. But I still love Sevie and yet I'm cheating on him like mad. I mean well we had a prefects meeting today to thank everyone for the hard work and once they left it was just me and James and well, we ended up making out. I can't believe it.

Diary,

Scarlett has found out about me and James. I can't believe the look on her face. She doesn't like Sevie at all but she understands that I do but when she found out about what I've been doing she was mad. She said that I shouldn't do things like this at all. So I went to Sevie and I told him that I kissed James and that it was a mistake and that I loved him and it wouldn't happen again. I think he forgave me, but I'm sure he won't if it ever happens again.

Diary,

James has asked me out! I can't believe it, and I said yes. Sevie is going to go mad. But I like them both so much so I made James swear not to tell anyone. Okay so I know that isn't going to work because Sirius was standing next to him. He looked a little hurt and all but I told him that I didn't want to be gossip, and he seemed to understand, he even got Sirius to swear. I know that this is wrong of me but I can't help it, it wasn't my choice to fall for Sevie or James but I have chosen to be with both of them.