Choices

Choice thirty: Snape

Emotions are a weakness that's what I have always been told by father you should never show it as then others will know you're only human and you don't want to be seen as an equal to commoners.

There is a technique that father taught me to do if ever you feel an emotion write it down along with whatever else is bothering you and burn the paper and then all emotions and problems will leave you. So here I go

First my girlfriend is a muggleborn witch. She is beneath me she is not my equal and yet I can't get her out of my head. I know that I shouldn't be with her she isn't pure but yet there is something there something that I can't control I think I've fallen in love with her.

But she has shown her true colours now she is a two timing cheater, she kissed another guy. No not just any guy but Perfect Potter the Head Boy. I'm better than him he just thinks he's all that but he'll be more hated than any other person when he leaves, you can't stay popular forever.

But I can't help but forgive Lily looking into her eyes I know that I'll do anything for her so I've forgiven her this time, but if she ever does it again she'll pay for it, she'll pay big time for the pain that she causes me.

My second point though is that I don't know what to feel. I've always been told never to think of myself as below anybody I'm better than everyone else but now I'm being told that I must think of myself as a follower, a follower to Lord Voldemort.

I received a letter today from Lucius Malfoy; he was a Slytherin here but graduated when I was in my second year. The Dark Lord has decided he wants me in his ranks. I'm going to join fully when I leave Hogwarts but the fact that I'm joining at all is another problem.

You see we are trying to rid the world of the impure which is the mudbloods and half bloods and that includes Lily. I love her but this is what my life is this is what I'm expected to do and I am going to be a fully fledged Death Eater.

There my feelings are written down and I don't feel any better for it but I have to burn it. Watching the parchment burning has a good feeling and everything that I've let build up is bubbling away.

I guess at the end of the day my future is my own choice and I want to keep seeing Lily but I also want to rid the world of the impure with the exception of her. I am going to be a Death Eater and that is my final choice.

Thanks for the reviews everyone I'll try to post again before HBP is released but not sure if I'll be able too. Oh and for the person who asked there are 65 chapters to this story.