Deep Inside

Disclaimer: Dont own any of the characters of CSI (blast them. haha)

A/N: Sorry it took so long, but what brought on another chapter is the reviews.

Chapter 2: Misunderstood

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He finally figured it out. They all misunderstood him. They thought he was all talk and action, but he really wasn't. He wished he was invited out to breakfast with the rest of the gang, but all they did was walk right past him.

What was even worst, was his crush on Sara.

Yes he liked her. More than liked her, he admired her. Not that she liked him back or anything, because she just thought he was the annoying lab tech.

All he wanted was a chance. One chance to show her the real him, but he couldn't. She was too wrapped up in Grissom to even notice him.

Maybe he should just give up on love

It let him down too many times to count.

High School. Manda Thompson, his first love. They met in chemistry class, and for him it was love at first sight. They soon began dating after that. It was a wonderful year and a half, until he caught her cheating on him with his best friend. He got that scholarship to Berkely and never spoke to them again.

College. Jen Carlson, the one that changed his life. She was a sorority girl, and he was the lowly science geek. He had to tutor her, and their relationship grew. She was loud, passionate, wild and crazy. The complete opposite of him, but somehow they wound up together. She taught him to live his life to the fullest and he did, until the day she was killed. His heart turned to stone when he heard the news, and he broke down for the first time that day. He let himself give in and cry. He cried for his losing his parents, Manda, and of course for Jen. The day of her funeral, he remembered going up to the coffin and seeing her once bright face, sad and lonely. He remembered sitting there and talked about all the good times they had and how she had changed his life for the better and how he would never forget her.

Then he moved to New York. It was so different from where he used to live. The people were impatient, pushy and angry. He fit right in, with the way he felt after Jen died. He moved to New York to find himself, but all he ended up finding was trouble. First it was smoking, then he moved on to pot and then on to coke. At first it wasn't an addiction, it was a stress reliever.

Then he met Alicia. She was the reason he got help. He wasn't sure if he could ever love after Jen's loss, but meeting Alicia was unexpected. She hated him at first and in turn, he couldn't stand her either. That all changed the night she almost got raped at the club they worked at. He worked as a bartender and she was a waitress. One of the customers tried something when she was walking out to her car. Thankfully, he was there to help her. He ended up with a black eye and a broken arm, but it was well worth the thank-you kiss he got for it. She convinced him to get help for his problem and he did, for her.

She left him 4 months later. He woke up and she wasn't next to him. He found a note saying she couldn't be with him anymore because it hurt her knowing that she didn't feel the same way. He remembered feeling hurt and angry after finding it. He wanted so bad to go do some coke, but then he thought about Jen. He wanted to finish living his life, not die right now because of an overdose. He left that night for San Francisco. He got a job at the crime lab as a DNA tech. He loved his job, and the people that worked there.

1 year later he got a job offer at the Las Vegas Crime Lab. He thought it was time for a new change of scenery, so he packed up his bags and left. Vegas was like New York, nobody ever slept. Working night shift didn't help either, but he managed.

Then Sara Sidle showed up, right after Holly Gibbs died. He remembered that night well, he had a ton of samples to run and he was driving everyone crazy. Then she showed up. He fell for her the first time he saw her, she was beautiful. But, she already had her eyes on someone else. That someone else would be Mr. Gil Grissom. He didn't know what she saw in him, but he hoped one day she realized she liked him instead.

That one day was moving farther and farther away.

No, Greg Sanders didn't have the perfect life. He only wished that he had someone who understood him, and someone to make him happy again.