I think this might be the next to last chapter, possibly two more to come. I really should have been studying when I wrote this, but oh well. Send a review and tell me to hurry up and finish!

Chapter 34

"We just have a few more things to take care of before we head back to the house." Beth spoke into the headset of her wireless phone. She and Liam were driving through downtown DC, running more errands for Joan, who had definitively decided to cancel the wedding a few days after Thanksgiving. Adam had taken the news with more dignity than most people would have expected and told Joan that he would be accepting a position in New York after the first of the year. They both thought that being apart for this time would be the best move in trying to preserve their friendship.

"It's supposed to snow later this afternoon, and as the temperature drops the roads will be icy and I don't want you two out in that mess." Kevin directed back to her. "Hurry, I mean, don't hurry, but do get your stuff done and then we can sit in front of the fireplace when the baby's asleep. Maybe there will be enough snow for a snowman in the morning, too. Liam can see his first snow!"

"Kevin, you sound like a six-year-old. But also like a worrying old man. We'll be fine. It's still raining, so it's obviously not cold enough for the snow to start yet. Probably not until after dark, and that's not for hours. We'll be home before you. What do you want for dinner? I could pick up something or I'll cook if you can think of what you want."

Kevin thought about this for a minute. "I don't know right now, but I'll call you before I leave here and I can pick up whatever you want on the way home."

"Sounds good to me. Oh, we're at the florist. I'll talk to you later. Liam says that he loves you and so do I."

"I love both of you, too. See you tonight. Drive carefully." Kevin said before he severed the connection with his wife. He glanced at his watch, only 1:30. The day was dragging on so slowly. Normally, Fridays were a madhouse, but for some reason, he had everything finished for the week and was looking forward to spending the weekend with Beth and Liam. He needed to finish up his Christmas shopping, since Christmas was only 11 days away. Beth was finished, of course. He'd found the most amazing diamond and sapphire ring for her. He knew that she would absolutely love it. There were a few other things that he had added throughout the year to her stash of presents, but he was having a harder time deciding on what to get for Liam. He had the glove that his dad had given him right after Liam had been born, but he wanted a gift like that from him to his son. He jotted down some ideas until a colleague knocked on his door at 2:15 for the Friday afternoon meeting. Normally, he was so busy that the meeting was a nuisance, but today it would help him pass the time until he could leave. He'd put in a good bit of extra work over the past two weeks, so he thought he could reasonably leave around 4 without drawing any unwanted attention.

The meeting was as dull as ever, and Kevin was incredibly glad to be out of it. He glanced at the clock as he left the room 3:30. Only half an hour to go. He made his way back to his desk to start to get things ready to leave. When he got there, Rebecca was waiting for him. He smiled up at her.

"What's up, boss?"

"Kevin," she whispered. At this point he realized that something was very wrong. She continued. "There's been an accident, and there are two troopers here to take you to Arcadia General."

"My dad?" he asked.

Rebecca closed her eyes and paused before opening them again and speaking, "No. Beth and Liam."

"Oh God, no!" He was unable to breathe or think or move for a moment. "Are they...?" He couldn't say the word.

"All I know is that they're both at the hospital. Your dad sent someone to take you there. We'll take care of everything. Just go now." She reached down and hugged him. She held him for a moment as he tried to compose himself. He let go of her but he was not at all composed. He moved to unlock the chair's brakes, but wasn't able to push himself forward. He collapsed into sobs right in the newsroom. Rebecca placed her hand on his shoulder. "Kev, can I help you?" He nodded yes and she pushed him out of the room where the two Maryland State Troopers were waiting for him. She handed Kevin his jacket and gave him another quick hug and watched as him leave the building.

Once they got into the car, Kevin's head began spinning. He had a million questions for the officers who were escorting him. All they could tell him was that they had been called on behalf of Will Girardi, who had been made aware of the accident when the officer at the scene had run the plates and recognized Kevin and Beth's names. He notified Will who had asked that someone retrieve Kevin, whom he knew would be unable to drive himself. They had no information on the condition of Beth or of their son. The ride was unbearable for Kevin, and for the first time that he could remember, he prayed.

They arrived at the hospital, Kevin didn't even know how much later. He nearly jumped out of the car and went in the front door of the hospital. He didn't know which way to turn until he heard his name. Luke was waiting for him in the lobby. Kevin tried to read his face.

"Where are they?"

"They took Liam upstairs. They're admitting him for overnight observation, but he's okay. Just bumps and bruises, maybe a concussion, but he'll be fine."

"Where's Beth?"

"I'm not sure. Mom and Dad are with her. They were still working on her when I came out here to get you. She was stable, but they were worried about internal injuries. She should be in surgery by now." He saw the confused look on Kevin's face. "They just want to make sure."

"I need to see her."

"Okay."

Kevin had never loved his little brother more for understanding how much he absolutely needed to see his wife, touch her hand and let her know that he was here. Luke led him into the Emergency Department to the trauma room where his family had been just moments before. The nurse passing by informed them that Beth had been taken to surgery while Luke had been gone. Luke told the nurse that Kevin was Beth's husband as well as Liam's father. She found Liam's room number and the name of the surgeon who was currently operating on Beth. Then, she offered to take them upstairs with the rest of the family. On the elevator, the nurse glanced over at Kevin. He was pale and breathing shallowly. His hands were tightly gripping the wheels of the chair so that his knuckles were white. When they reached the appropriate floor, the nurse led them to the surgical waiting room. Will was waiting there for them.

He came across the room and embraced Kevin. "Your mom is with the baby. Beth told me to tell you that she loves you and she's sorry for making your worry."

"Is she going to be okay?"

"There was some bleeding, they weren't sure if it was her liver or her spleen, so they wanted to check both. Also, she had a collapsed lung and some broken ribs. The surgeon said that she's healthy, and while there's some risk with any surgery, she should be fine."

"Oh, thank God." Kevin sighed with relief. "The baby, I need to see the baby before she's out of surgery."

"Do you know where he is?" Will asked.

"Yeah, the nurse told us downstairs." Kevin answered. Luke offered to go with him and Will said he would stay to hear word on Beth. The two brothers then proceeded to the pediatric ward. Kevin stopped in front of the door, apprehensive about what might be behind the door. Luke realized this and went in the door first. Kevin followed tentatively. The first thing he saw was his mom. She grabbed his neck and pulled him close to her. She led him over to the bed where Liam was lying awake and content.

"Can I hold him? Is that okay, I mean, I don't want to hurt him."

"No, sweetie, you can hold him, that's fine. Here, let me get him." She handed Kevin his son. Kevin took Liam into his arms and held him. Helen told Kevin that she and Luke were going to go find some coffee. He asked her to bring him a cup, too. Kevin was still holding Liam, stroking his tiny hand when an older nurse came into the room. Kevin looked up.

"Do you need me to put him back in the bed?" he asked her.

She patted his shoulder and smiled genuinely. "No, Kevin, you can hold him as long as you'd like. It's been a scary day for you, and somehow holding a baby always makes people calm. I bet you never thought you could be more afraid for your wife and child than you were when it was you in that bed."

Kevin turned to face her. "I'm sorry?"

"I mean after the accident. You were terrified, but that didn't even compare to when Rebecca met you at your desk today."

"How do you. . .who are you?"

"You won't believe me. Although, you did ask for my help earlier today."

"I don't understand what you're saying. Are you my son's nurse? Are you even supposed to be in here?"

"I'm supposed to be right here with you Kevin."

"How did you know about Rebecca and my accident?"

"I know everything about you. I know that when you were 12 you decided that you wanted to be a professional baseball player but after a game when you were 15, you were waiting to talk to your coach when you overheard him talking to a college scout. The scout said that while you were good, you were too small to even, how did he put it, 'make a blip on the radar screen of college baseball.' That was the night you decided you'd just have to be a 'big ole jet airliner.' You really do have great comedic timing and an amazing way with words."

"No one knows that. I never told anyone that. Ever. Who are you?"

"Kevin, I'm God."

"Right, I mean, Mohammed and the Dali Lama were downstairs. I feel like such an ass. I didn't even stop to chat."

"I also know that after your accident, when the doctor laid it all out for you, there was a moment of relief. You realized that the expectations for your life had suddenly dropped dramatically and that made you happy for just a moment before you felt guilty."

Kevin felt the blood drain from his face. "How is this possible? How could you possibly know that?"

"Kevin, I'm God." she repeated.

"Like the Tower of Babel, Burning Bush, Ten Commandments, God?"

"Didn't anyone in your family read past the Pentateuch?"

"The what?"

"Never mind."

"Well, if you are, in fact, God, then, I'm really angry with you."

"I know."

"Of course. Omniscience."

"Yes, but I understand. You don't want to blame someone else for what happened that night, or give credit for what's gone right for you since."

"That's part of it, but I also didn't want to believe that there was some being or power out there who could have made me better or that could have stopped the whole situation from ever even happening but didn't. That's not the kind of thing I want to be associated with."

"Fair enough. That's a good point, but you have Free Will, Kevin. Those choices were yours to make. You had all the tools you needed."

"And God plays the Free Will card. So that's it? One shitty decision and my life is over? Andy's too?"

"What happened that night wasn't a punishment for being a dumb kid, nor did it mean that I wasn't watching over you. But choices have consequences. Just because bad things happen, it doesn't mean that I'm not loving and caring. I have nothing but love for you, Kevin, and all people. You've talked to Beth about miracles before. Life is a miracle, a gift. So is healing. But healing isn't only physical. You are an entire being, and your purpose in life didn't end the day you lost the ability to walk. I believe that a very wise woman already told you that. The healing had to begin in your soul. You may not believe it, but you were a sick kid. Your soul was at a crossroads. It's not easy to watch people make bad decisions. Sometimes, they learn from their mistakes and sometimes they don't. If they don't learn the first time, then they continue making bad and more dangerous decisions. Sometimes the consequences of bad decisions have to be the eye-opener. I didn't make you get in that car and I didn't make Andy wreck it. Those were things that the two of you set in motion that night. And once you've changed the course of your life, it's my job to make that the best life possible. I've been doing that for you ever since. You've made a life that others envy and you've put yourself in a position to make a difference in your world."

"You've been making my life the best possible?"

"Of course I have. How do you think that Beth came back into your life? Or you got the job at ESPN? Or that you and Beth made up on Christmas last year? Or Liam was conceived? I've been working on you for a very long time, and I'm not done yet."

"You made all of that happen?"

"Well, Joan helped. And I really just set up the scenarios; you made things happen. You can take credit for that."

"Joan knows about you?"

"Yes. Joan and I have been working together since your family moved to Arcadia. You all needed a little, uh, divine intervention, for lack of a better term."

"So all of that stuff with Judith and Adam and everything, you were part of that." God nodded and Kevin continued. "But Joan was sick."

"She was, but she also was talking to me. She was so worried about you for such a long time. They all were."

"Wait, I have more questions about all of this."

"I don't have to answer them, but I will."

"Great." Kevin said rather unenthusiastically. "You said that this is my best possible life. What about the other one?"

"I thought that you were happy with the one you have now."

"I know, but I still think it would have been interesting to try it."

"Might have been, but it might not have been, either. You may not have made it to the majors, and Beth most likely would have not stood by you. She can deal with your current situation because she loves and trusts you, but if you had betrayed her trust again, and you would have, she would have been gone. And let's face it, she's the best thing that's happened to you since me."

Kevin smirked a little. "You don't know that I would have cheated on her."

"Don't I? Well, even if that's not the case, your relationship with Luke would have never developed like it has. He would have never turned his research interests to neuron regeneration and the entire world wouldn't be on the threshold of changing the way they think about the brain and the nervous system. Your family is closer than it's ever been. You have a wonderful career that you do very well. You've won numerous awards and accolades that professionals twice your age only dream of. You've traveled the world. You have a beautiful son who is so much like you it will amaze you, and there will be more babies to hold and love."

"All that?"

"Yes. All of that happened when you got in that car. No, actually,it happened when you decided to live your life."

"Does Beth know about all of this?"

"She has an idea."

"You've talked to her, too?"

"No, I don't need to talk to Beth. She believes it without seeing. That's called faith. Your wife had a ton of it."

"Yeah, she does. She always believes in me. That's why today I couldn't even imagine what would happen if she were gone."

"It's a terrifying thought, to be helpless when someone you love is in peril."

"You wouldn't know about that, though."

"Wouldn't I? Maybe not that exact scenario, but it's terrifying to watch people ignore me and turn their backs on me in favor of what's popular or what feels right, even when they know it's wrong."

"I guess so."

"Beth and Liam are going to be fine, Kevin. It's still you that I'm worried about."

"Me?"

"You're still angry. Not with other people and not with yourself, but with me. I don't think that you'll ever truly have peace or be able to trust until you trust that I only ever want what's best for you. I'd say that I'm worried because you don't believe in me, but I think we've covered that one."

"Yeah. But why the old lady nurse getup?"

"It's supposed to be soothing. Do you feel soothed?"

"Uh, yeah, actually."

"See, omniscience."

Kevin laughed. "No one will ever believe this."

"You don't ever have to tell anyone, but Joan and your mother and Beth would probably understand. You'd better get going, though. Beth will be coming out of surgery very soon. I'll stay with the baby until Helen and Luke get back."

Kevin handed her the baby. "Thanks." He started out of the room and looked back over his shoulder. "I mean for everything."

Old lady nurse God sat in the rocker with tiny Liam in her arms. "I knew your daddy would come around eventually."