Choices
Choice forty two: Lily
For too long now I've played with the hearts of two men, I've dated one since I was sixteen and the other since I was eighteen. But now that I am twenty I feel that I can no longer go on with this double life, I can't play them off each other any more its time for me to make my choice.
It's a hard decision to make but I know I must. I can't go on with them both forever I want to settle down and have a family but that will be impossible with the two of them.
But to choose which one is going to be the hardest decision of my life, I have so much in common with Sevie a thirst of knowledge, the ever need to learn more. Like him I'm always happiest away from the groups, with a book in hand. He's different just as I am and we have pulled each other along.
Although we do have differences. He is of a darker way of life; his peers, his housemates all had an evil that lived in them, which he himself would show. He is of a proper background. Wealth is key although he isn't as rich as some, not that it matters. In all he is dangerous his past and future showed that and we will never openly be able to be together.
James though is my polar opposite in many ways. He's loud, obnoxious and always seems to need people around him. He was star of the Quidditch team in school and always in trouble for some prank that he had pulled.
Yet surprisingly we share some qualities. He was a top student although it seemed he hardly worked for it, unless he was a closet studier. He is well mannered and stands up for what he believes in. His loyalty is unquestionable he never lets down his friends and he is truly thoughtful.
I know that this isn't right that I should never have started dating them both but Sevie's personality won me over and then James' did the same. It started as lust I know that but now its so much more I love both of them but I can't have both.
With James I feel as if I have given my whole heart and I couldn't imagine not having him in my life, our paths are united and with him I feel loved.
Sevie although I love him is on a different path in life to me. His is a darker path and I can't help thinking that he is working for Voldemort. Our paths were united once but we've hit a fork in the road and we can't choose the same way.
The sad thing is that both mean so much to me and I'm scared of losing either one but I know that I couldn't go on living if I lost James and its time I tell them the truth. I've made my choice and I want to live by it, I don't know if I will ever see Sevie again but I hope James will forgive me and stay part of my life.