I want to thank EVERYONE whose ever reviewed or read my story, you guys mean so much to me! I took a little break from writing, okay a LONG break, but I'm back, for now anyway.
Chapter 8
Dear Journal
September 23, 2005
It had been almost a month since the night I first saw Erik, and his artwork. It had also been 3 weeks since I started going to see a therapist about my dreams that had started to come more frequently and horribly. My therapist said my dreams were "Manifestations of my guilt" but these dreams had more than just my father killing me. Horrible things happened, people died, suffered, were even tortured. There was one reoccurring thing in all of the dreams, Erik.
He was always there, if it was to help me or murder me. Just last night I dreamt that he was killing people with a lasso, strangling them. When he came to me all he could do is smile, he gently wrapped the lasso around my neck, kissed me with a passion I had never felt come through anyone's lips, and pulled the knot as hard as he could to make my death a swift one. The night before he was the one who saved me from this horrible death by knocking the murder on the head with a candlestick, just as I was taking my last breath.
Dr. Ricks makes me right down everyone of my dreams; even though they are so vivid I came remember every detail for days afterwards. He hasn't explained why Erik is in all of the dreams. I don't know if deep down I am afraid of Erik, or if I love him. I haven't seen him since he walked my to my door, but I do think about him. I think about those perfect lips, those strong hands that could crush someone yet are gentle enough to make those beautiful paintings. I'm waiting for him. I'm not quite sure what draws me to him so.
I mean every girl is jealous of the relationship I have with Raoul, but I feel nothing towards him, I think, even though he definitely feels something for me. Because our best friends are going out, we are always thrown together, at lunch, after school, on the weekends; the four of us are inseparable. Rumors are circulating like crazy that we're going out, but I always deny them, with Raoul says we are. He's already made sure that I haven't reserved anyone else for the Sadie Hawkins that's coming up. I told him I wasn't sure if I was even going. I want to take Erik but I haven't seen him. I thought it would be perfect because of the theme Masquerade. I'm so confused, I think I like Erik, well I KNOW I like Erik, but what are these feelings for Raoul, I mean he is a VERY good looking guy, and smart, sweet, and totally in to me. If I don't see him by next week I will ask Raoul to the dance. But I won't be happy about it, I think.Why is this Happening to me?