Disclaimer: Nothing's changed since I wrote the last chapter… dang it! I was hoping to own CSI by this time! Unfortunately, I do not. All the character flaws, spelling mistakes, and grammatical errors are mine. Blame me, but please don't sue me!

A/N: Well, I decided to write another chapter. This might be considered OOC for Grissom, but no one knows what exactly is in his mind so it could be what he's thinking. Again, I would love to hear what you think. Big thanks goes out to stvinny for pointing out a couple of errors I had, I really appreciate it!

The Park- Grissom's POV

I force the breath from my lungs heavily. She's on my mind… again. As I walk down the path in the darkened park her face flashes before my eyes and I feel my heart give a suspicious quiver.

The darkness here is broken only by the occasional park lamp. I look ahead and see my destination. I always come to the same spot, a little area clear of trees where the night sky may be freely observed. I come here to star-gaze but I often end up thinking about her more than the constellations.

I have now reached the lamp that marks 'my' spot. I pause beneath the halo of light and lean heavily on the lamp, casting my eyes to the star-filled skies.

I am taking in the beauty of nature, but my thoughts are focusing on quite a different beauty. Like Elizabeth Barrett Browning, I allow myself to count the ways I love her. How do I love thee, Sara? Let me count the ways… Hmm… I can't think of anything creative that would sound so good or ring so true as Browning's original words: I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach… though I rarely admit it to even myself, I add.

Next I allow my thoughts to flow to what it is about her that I love. Firstly, I love her mind, how her mind and mine seem to follow the same path. I love that she seems to be able to anticipate my every move though it scares me too. I love her heart. I love that she is strong when she needs to be, yet she isn't jaded. She still has vulnerability and a heart that can be touched by others. I love her smile, how it can calm and comfort me when everything else seems to be falling apart. I love her freckles, her deep brown eyes, and her diastema. In short I love everything I can think of about her.

I suddenly realize that I am no longer looking at the stars, but that my gaze has somehow been transferred to the green grass of the park, though in this light it looks more black than green. I don't bother to try looking at the sky again; my mind is too busy with other things.

Several months ago I was at work on a pretty tough case. Sara walked into the lab with that grin on her face and I knew she had the case-cracker. I suddenly realized that I would almost commit a crime for her to solve just to see that look of smug satisfaction and elation. My mind immediately wandered to the things I could do to put a look of satisfaction on her face and I found myself almost blushing. It scared me a lot and made me think even more. I realized that my job and my emotional safety aren't worth going home to an empty town house. They aren't worth eating most of my meals alone, and having nothing but cold sheets greet me at night.

I've always been afraid to let her get close and then have to lose her, but I feel like I've lost her already. Isn't it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all? I've lost her but I've never had any of the benefits of love. I realized in those few days what should have been obvious all along: she's stuck around this long just hoping for a chance with you, what makes you think she'll drop you anyway? She's young and beautiful and she deserves more, yet she isn't finding more, she is still alone… like me.

Ever since then, though I've been riddled with doubts and insecurities I have been slowly trying to win back her friendship and hopefully love. Last night I brought her a coffee as she worked on the computer. She looked so surprised that I felt a stab of guilt that I have obviously been so uncaring. At least it helped strengthen my resolve to win her, and the smile I received made me want to run and get her another coffee just to see it again.

I just hope I'm not too late to have another chance. Not that I deserve another chance after the cold way I turned her down when she asked me to dinner. I wish I could go back and change the way I replied… well, I suppose I would change my actual reply too. I would say that yes, I would like dinner with her, and then I'd explain why it wouldn't work out that night. I'd tell her about my otosclerosis right then and there, and see if she'd still have me. I was scared about so many things just then and I really wasn't ready to add another thing to my list… fear makes us stupid.

However, regrets are just that. They can't change the past, but they may affect the future. I feel more and more determined every time I think this through to swallow my fears and let her in. It was The Beatles who said "remember to let her into your heart. Then you can start to make things better" and I think I could learn something from them even if they were talking to 'Jude' at the time. It's about time I did something to "make things better" since they can't get any worse. Out here, I feel brave and capable, but I know all it takes is the work environment and her standing in front of me to melt my courage and reduce my back to a coward.

I hear steps approaching me; it must be getting later than I thought if someone else is out on this path. I glance up and my heart stops for a second. It is a very surreal feeling to have your thoughts completely centered on a person and then look up and see that person. Especially when you're in one of the last places you expected to see them. I wonder for a split second if she's even real or just a figment of my momentarily over-active imagination. However, she's most definitely real and before I can gather my thoughts I've said her name aloud.

She stops a few feet from me and gives her usual greeting of "Hey."

She looks so lovely with the lamplight just barely touching her face, leaving much of it in shadow. I suddenly realize that she's spoken again; I think she asked me what I am doing here. I was thinking of her of course, but I don't think it would do to tell her so. I opt to tell her why I came to this spot instead of what I was actually doing.

"On clear nights you can actually see some of the constellations from here since it's far enough away from The Strip's lights. Tonight, or this morning rather, the sky is quite clear and good for a little star-gazing."

As I say this I glance to the sky realizing belatedly that there are no longer many stars to see. I hope she buys my excuse anyway. She seems to and I can't think of anything to do but gaze at the empty and now graying sky. I sneak a glance at her and see she has her arms crossed and is gazing with interest at her shoes. I'm afraid she's going to make an excuse to leave and I want her to stay here a little longer. I wrack my brain for something to say that will start some sort of conversation.

Suddenly I realize that she herself had asked a question and though it's not creative, I could level it back at her while I think of something else to say. So, I ask what she's doing here and I'm rewarded with hearing her voice say in the distinctive pattern that intrigues me so:

"Walking. I come here often to walk," she says this with a shrug but it sends my mind reeling.

She comes here often… just like me?

"I've never seen you here," I say, wondering, if she's seen me and chosen to walk by, ignoring my presence.

I search her face for some clue, does she wish I hadn't looked up and seen her? My doubts are calmed when she answers my unspoken question.

"I've never seen you either, so I guess that makes us even."

It's crazy but I feel like throwing my head back and laughing with relief. I settle for a smirk. I look back at the sky, trying to think of something more captivating to say but she beats me to it saying;

"Well, I should probably be um… getting home, now. Despite popular belief I do sleep sometimes."

This is her exit line, but I'm sure I can make it into a stall tactic. I look purposefully skeptical, raising an eyebrow, and say,

"Is that so? Well, I'm not sure I believe that, I only believe the evidence and the evidence suggests you avoid sleep which would make your statement untrue."

This is stupid Gil, why don't you just tell her you want her to stay? I can't just blurt something like that out, that's why! Keep the conversation light, but also keep her here, that's my goal. I wonder if my last sentence was the wrong thing to say when I see a flash of what looks like sadness on her face, however, it is quickly replaced with a teasing look as she says;

"Well Dr. Grissom, what do I have to do to prove my statement to you?"

As she says this she purses her lips and raises one eyebrow in typical Sara fashion. I've always had a soft spot for that look of hers. I am greatly encouraged by her response to my efforts at friendship. I respond to her question without much thought over the answer.

"Well, I'd need proof."

Her look immediately lets me know that I said something that could be taken more than one way. What did I say? Oh… I realize now how that could be taken. I hope she doesn't take it that way and get upset at me. I'm also a little nervous she'll take the opportunity to let me squirm a little when she laughs, but I chuckle along too. She lets me off the self-made hook when she says:

"Well, Professor, I'm afraid I have none so you'll just have to take me word for it."

I'm glad to get off so easy, but I want to keep up our playful banter so I say:

"You're asking a lot of me, Sara," and then realize how that sounded. Talk about out of the frying pan, into the fire!

"You underestimate yourself and I would never ask more of you than you can give," she says immediately and then she looks surprised at her own words and rather embarrassed.

I'm really not sure how to respond to that since it seems our time of playful chit-chat has come to an end. Now would be that time to say something meaningful that lets her know how I feel. I search for words that will let her know I want to try.

She takes my silence as discomfort (which I'll admit I do feel, but not for the reason she probably thinks) and she looks up at the invisible stars that I've been watching.

She's opening her mouth undoubtedly to say goodbye. She'll go home and then tonight at work she'll avoid me like the plague and we'll have lost ground all because I can't get a grasp on what I want to say. Say something, Gil, now!

"I know," I say in a whisper, wondering when I lost my voice.

Her mouth remains open, though now it is in shock not speech. Her confusion is painted all over her lovely face. I feel a sudden urge to kiss her but I doubt the wisdom of that urge, I've already shocked her, do I want to give her a heart attack too? I can't find the right words… I don't know how to explain myself. I smile at her but I know she needs more then two syllables and a facial twitch to make things clear. She deserves a full explanation but all I can manage now is to do what I always do with her. I reach out and take her hand in mine. I squeeze it gently, mentally begging her to understand.

Understanding does indeed dawn on her face and I feel like whooping with joy when I feel her squeeze my hand in return. I force myself to let go of her hand, I can't expect too much from her too fast. I see questions still lingering in her eyes, but she seems content to accept what I've given her for now.

Several strands of hair have fallen forward of her face. They look so soft and I can't seem to stop what I do next as I reach out and tuck them behind her ear. My hand brushes her smooth cheek and her eyes fall half-way closed. Though there is surprise etched on her face, she looks happy; happier than she has in a long time. I feel the need to give her some reassurance of my affection. She needs some explanation of why I'm only now trying. I need her so much and it's been hell without her. Worse still is the realization I've put her through the same hell.

"I just can't take it anymore," I say, realizing I still haven't found my voice.

"Neither can I," she says back, sounding equally breathless.

I can do nothing but nod. It's a moment that can't be found with words, and to say anything would mar it. I'm simply lost in her eyes and feel completely satisfied, like all is right in the world. I could stand here all week, but I notice that she is shivering though she herself doesn't seem to realize it. She should go home to bed, just because I won't sleep today doesn't mean she shouldn't. It's not easy to say the words that will make her leave my side but I manage.

"You should go home to bed," I finally say.

"I thought you didn't believe I sleep."

I always enjoy that teasing smile of hers. I try to match her smile but I doubt mine is as cute.

"I don't, but I feel it is my responsibility to try to get you to take care of yourself," I say.

I wouldn't have believed it possible but her smile grows even wider and she nods. I wonder how much she'll sleep today. Will she spend all day reviewing this conversation like I will?

"Well, goodnight," she says.

I should just let her go, but I can't resist keeping our conversation going a little longer so I playfully point to the now light sky and correct her, saying:

"Good morning."

She gives a small, off-hand shrug.

"Well, I'm going to bed," she says, "so good morning seems wrong… how about sweet dreams?"

Well, Sara, if you're in them they will indeed be sweet, I think to myself.. What I say aloud is:

"I prefer 'sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite,' personally."

"You would," she says wrinkling her nose, but with a tone of what I can't help but think is warm affection, "you are the bug guy."

I bow my head in submission to the title she has bestowed on me. As she turns and heads down the path I can't resist trying for one more smile so I call out after her:

"I'll see you tonight."

She grins and nods before disappearing around a bend in the path.

Now that I'm alone I feel shocked and proud at how bold I was this morning. I wonder momentarily if she was truly here and if I really said and did the things I think I did. I shake my head to try to clear my churning thoughts. Maybe I'll ask her to have breakfast with me when I see her at work tonight.

As the park around me gets lighter and lighter I realize how much I like this place. I should really come here more often. Maybe I'll do more star-gazing soon and maybe next time I won't be alone.