Can I Forgive Myself

by Juujin Bunshen

Takouji Koukuya Altered to Fear and Loathing in Los Arboles. The pocession changes Takuya so he leaves the group to go on a journey of self to find his way again, with Kouji chasing after him. Will the two realize what destiny has in store for them before

5. Four: When Is The Right Time

Once more revised. Okay everyone here is the note. My chapters will now be more slower than ever before, and I'm sorry to write this note. Here is an explanation, during a powersurge that struck the city, my computer was taken out during the blast so I lost everything, even the normal chapters except for the stuff I saved on disks, so until the problem is taken care of from now on everthing is going to be hard copy then typed on a friends computer. I'm so sorry about this, but I will work hard between class and during work when I can. Wish me luck!

Okay here it is the super long over due chapter. There are reasons of course, but mainly just the main fact that life got in the way of my time for writing. Helping my friends from moving to Vancouver or Arizona for starters. But I guess what made me stop was when I lost a childhood best friend in a drunk driving accident. In memory I kinda stopped writing for a long time. I know most of you reviewers, well I hope most of you are still here to read this story, don't read the author notes. Let me put up this small warning, don't drink and drive, I know teachers tell you this, but you truly don't understand until you loose someone in that accident. So I'm saying this now think before drinking, you could cause an accident and someone out there could loose a friend or a loved one.

Well enough with my angst moment, sorry I had to put that out, and congrat's to

for guessing the language I use as elvish. I will email you with details a.s.a.p, also there is another special notice with your review answers at the bottom. So enjoy and read and review!

OooooOOOOooooo: Means change of scene

AaaaaAAAAaaaaa: Same area, different place (sorry if it is confusing)

Warning: The characters are all OOC due to the altered events that normally didn't occur in the season. Also of course slash meaning boy/boy relationships if you don't like don't read and mild swearing.

Disclaimer: I don't own digimon in any way, wish I did though

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Chapter Four: When Is The Right Time

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"Aishiteru Takuya." Kouji whispered and before the browned haired boy could answer, Kouji slammed his lips against his own...

Takuya was frozen in place, did Kouji just say he loved him? Was he kissing him, well that was obvious, he could feel the other boy's warm lips on his own. The problem, he was too shocked to really respond, yet he wasn't shoving the other away either. Instead he was trying to calm down the emotions that were suddenly flooding through him, as he could feel Kouji's hands rubbing his arms trying to coax him for a response. He was surprised at the reaction he was having, something exploded inside, Takuya could feel a part of him come to life again, and something unknown rose up from within. He then closed his eyes surrendering himself to his emotions, and slowly responded to Kouji's kiss. His arms then moved around the lone wolf's waist, the other moved his hands up Takuya's back, as they held each other while everything was left behind except for themselves.

The moment didn't last long enough as a shout was heard from the distance, and Takuya found himself reluctantly breaking away to turn towards the temple with narrowed eyes, the voice sounded familar. The shout came again, a little closer, as his red/brown eyes turned to stare directly into gray/blue ones. He was surprised to see a light blush on Kouji's cheeks, and probably had one as well, but the blue eyes were questioning. "That is Talon." He whispered, inside he was still feeling blown away to really say much else as part of his mind still wasn't there yet.

Kouji narrowed his eyes as he pulled a little away from Takuya, he could feel his lips tingling from the kiss the two of them just shared. Shared. That meant the baka felt the same way towards him as he tried to stop the blush on his cheeks from getting darker. "Talon?" He questioned voice a little wary.

Takuya nodded as he shifted a little, as he once more met Kouji's blue eyes and tried not to get lost in them. "He is a friend...and I don't think it would be such a good idea for him to see us..." He hesistated as his own blush became a deep crimson, and he averted his eyes. "In such a compromising position."

"Big word for you there." The blue haired boy responded with an affectionate smile as he untangled himself from his baka's arms. He then began to straighten up his clothes and watched the browned haired boy do the same.

That was when a figure appeared on the path, it was wearing similar clothes as Takuya, but it had cat eyes, and ears, which shocked the lone wolf. What made him do a double take was when he heard something come out that sounded like talking, but wasn't. Also that Takuya had answered in the same way, and that was when the orbs met his eyes. Something was said, but he didn't understand it, though it felt like he should be on his gaurd so his hand lowered to his pants pocket. He then saw the figure abruptly turn and begin walking back the way he came. So he averted his gaze to see Takuya brushing himself off and moving away from the tree. "What was that?" He asked curious and confused.

"Oh, Talon was upset that I left the shield, it could be really dangerous out here, also that he asked who you were. Finally he mentioned that I've been summoned to the main temple room..." He looked like he was about to say more when Talon's voice drifted back. "Tulien1 Talon!" He shouted, and took a hold of Kouji's hand, getting a blush to rise up. "We better hurry!"

The two held hands as they hurried up the path, Takuya didn't seem to mind and Kouji wasn't protesting. They stopped though when they walked up the entrance, and the brown haired boy let go, to raise a hood over his face. He gave a small smile to the lone wolf before entering, with him following behind a amazed look in his eyes. Where were they, he certainly didn't remember seeing a temple when he entered those woods. The place was huge, it couldn't be missed, but then he remembered Takuya saying something about a shield. Which would explain why his dot kept appearing and disappearing, but still stayed in once place.

They passed through several tunnels, and he was surprised that they didn't get lost, but the gogglehead seemed to know where he was going, so Kouji followed. That was when a door opened and they stepped through it, he was shocked at the size of the room, and what beheld in it. Monks all sizes, and ages, a library off to the side, alters and statues to a tiger, also paintings and streamers. He was taken aback by the beauty of it all, and felt as Takuya took his arm and pratically dragged him to the center where a elderly digimon stood, along with Talon. The brown haired boy bowed, and spoke briefly in the other language, as the digimon nodded. He brought his focus back though as he heard his name being said before his blue eyes met with a pair of golden orbs.

"My name is Hodoer." The digimon said taking Kouji's hands for a brief moment then letting go, before turning to Takuya. "Will he be staying here as well?"

"Yes, for probably as long as I do, if it isn't any trouble." He said looking at Kouji out of the corner of his eyes.

Hodoer turned his back and began walking. "A extra bed will be put in your room, it will be there when you arrive." He answered proof enough. "We will talk later when the time comes." He added and exited out a side door.

Takuya ducked his head and was glad his hood covered the blush that was there, as someone cleared their throat. Taking a calming breath he met Talon's gaze. "Is it okay if I show Kouji where he will be staying, then come back for the lesson?" He asked.

The monk smiled, he was glad the boy was still interested, even if a companion of his was here now as well. He then lifted his hood up and stretched a little. "Meet me then in the room you first found me in, we will do something different today." He said his accent thick as he began walking away.

Takuya watched him leave before turning to the lone wolf and reached his arms behind his head. "Ready to go?"

"Lead the way." He muttered but regretted the words as soon as they came out of his mouth. He watched as Takuya visibly flinched as the boys eyes filled with pain, as he blinked several times. Kouji then moved closer and taking one of the tan hands squeezed it gently. "I didn't mean it like that..." He whispered. He knew now he would have to be more careful in the words he said.

The other said nothing, but still held on to Kouji's hand and led the way to the other side of the room where they exited into a hall, which was a little darker. After several more twists and turns, which the wolf looked at the walls, but still kept up with Takuya they stopped. "The room isn't much, but it is better then sleeping on the ground." Takuya muttered and opened the door with his free hand.

It appeared Hodoer was right a bed had already been put there along with an extra dresser, and some clothes were laid out. The room was now a little more cramped, but Takuya gave a small smile at Kouji's curious look, he had gotton used to the strange things happening in the temple everyday, and it was rude to ask about it. After all he was a human, a complete stranger being allowed to stay in a god's temple, that was enough. He let go of Kouji's hand and walked over to sit on the end of his bed. He realized they hadn't said anything really important to each other since the kiss. At that thought a blush rose to his cheeks as he rested his chin on his hands with his elbows on his knees, and took a deep breath. Something was nagging at the back of his mind and he had to ask it, it was necessary to know for sure. "Kouji...in the woods..." He said making a gesture with one hand towards the direction where the back part of the temple was. "Did you really mean...do you truly..."

"Yes." Kouji interrupted as he moved over to sit by Takuya one of his hands moving under the boys chin so they could meet eye to eye, while his free hand took a hold of the tan one. "Every word."

"For how long?" Takuya questioned as his fingers intertwined with Kouji's as he held the gaze.

"Honestly I'm not sure." He said breaking the gaze to stare at the wall as he gently squeezed the other's fingers. "It hit me the day when I confronted you at the Autumn Leaf Fair, when you asked me why I kept chasing you I was confused with the question. That was when I sat down and thought about it, I realized then that I had feelings for you, and that they had been there for a long time. Just hidden..." He trailed off into silence, as they sat there, Takuya taking Kouji's other hand and squeezing it. The lone wolf smirked, as the next comment that came he met the baka's eyes again. "Truthfully, I think the others knew we cared about each other a little beyond rivals, even beyond friendship, they just kept their mouths shut about the whole ordeal. Even your fox friend Renamon knew, I believe that it was just kept hidden from us till the right time." He turned away again his eyes lost in thought as he felt some weight on his shoulder. Kouji guessed Takuya was resting his head there, and gave a small smile.

"Until the right time." Takuya murmured. 'When will be the right time, I know that I have feelings for Kouji, but am I truly ready to take them on as well? I don't know, this is just so confusing' He sighed closing his eyes, he was so close to the blue haired boy he could feel the other's breath on his face...wait a minute? Quickly he opened his eyes to see Kouji had moved him into a better position. He didn't get to ponder for long the reasoning behind the moving because the answer came as he felt warm lips press softly against his own.

The emotions came tumbling back again in full force as Kouji let go of Takuya's hands and wrapped his arms around the other feeling the browned haired boy do the same, as he tightened his hold. Takuya began to slowly relax his own hold as his eyes slipped shut, and they remained in liplock for the longest time before they both pulled away for air. Takuya's eyes fluttered open and he raised a finger to his lips to feel them tingle as he watched Kouji do the same. They remained in a comfortable silence as Takuya once more rested his head on the lone wolf's shoulder.

Kouji sighed he could feel his baka become relaxed, but something from earlier came into mind, it was a question of how long he was staying. He didn't know the answer to that, the others needed them to come back and soon. "Takuya. How long do you plan on staying here?" He didn't like the question, and could feel the other instantly tense up.

Silence ruled for the longest time before the answer came, but it was barely a whisper. "I...I don't know. Maybe after I find what I lost..."

"You have lost something?" Kouji asked concerned as he tried to lock gazes again, but it wouldn't happen.

"Yeah...I'm not sure what, but I've been feeling...disconnected...ever since..." He trailed off letting the rest of it hang in the air.

Kouji knew what Takuya meant, but it didn't make him feel any better. Sure, they were together now, but not fully. The young, foolish, hotheaded, baka he fell in love with wasn't the same person he was with right at this moment. Maybe the pocession did change him after all, but in the direction for the worse. Sighing he knew that he would help Takuya in any way he could, even if it meant staying there with the constant danger hanging. With determined eyes he stared ahead at the door. "Then I'm staying with you until the time is right for us to go back."

"You will?" Takuya asked a small amount of hope rising in his chest but it quickly faded at the next comment he made. "But what about..." He was interrupted as two fingers touched his lips to silence him.

"Right now your well being matters to me more." Kouji whispered as he tightened his hold on Takuya, and was happy to feel him relax again.

"Thank you Kouji." He whispered back as he buried his head even more into Kouji's shoulder. They stayed in that posistion for a while both content in each other's company, until Takuya jerked his head up, as his voice was tinged with saddness and was slightly muffled. "Kouji...I forgot I have to go meet Talon..."

"Can't you just skip it?" Came the response, even though he was loosening his hold.

"I can't, I promised I would go through the training as much as possible. Besides, there are things you can do in here while I'm gone." He said meeting those familar blue eyes. "I have some books that have histories on this temple and the tiger god. Also the door off to the side has a bathroom with a tub." He said the last part with a smile and stuck out his tongue. "You kinda need one anyway."

Kouji found himself tempted with kissing Takuya again when the toungue came out, but paused when he heard the last comment. He was about to retort, when he realized instantly that some of the old personality was coming back. Smiling he decided to let it slide for the moment he could always get revenge later, as he untangled himself from the other's arms and stood walking over to his bed. He didn't like admitting defeat, but if it meant Takuya being in a better mood he would take it head on. "Fine you win this time, just don't be gone long. I don't want to cause trouble by tearing apart this temple looking for you."

"I won't." Came the promise. "Oh, and thanks for still coming after me Kouji." He added sincerity etched in his features and in his voice.

"No problem." He answered. That was when he heard the door open and close signaling the departure of the browned haired boy. That was when he fully relaxed as he began to fiddle with the clothes on the bed. Here he was changing part of his personality so that the other would be happy. So this was what love did to a person, making small sacrafices, changing the person, but for the better. It was better because the feelings were returned, he smiled as he looked over to Takuya's desk. Two thick books were sitting there, one of them open to a page, he was tempted to read them, when the thought of a bath came to mind. It sounded better then reading some history, the terrain was too hard for comfort, he needed to work out some kinks he had in his muscles. Hot water did just the trick as he picked up the clothes on the bed and moved towards the door that was there. He would use that excuse if Takuya did ask about it. He may love Takuya, but he wasn't going to fully abandon his personality for that love...

He emerged a while later with his hair damp, but clad in the outfit he found on the bed as he moved over to the desk and sat down in the chair. Carefully he moved the open book aside, and picked up the one with the temple's history. He lifted the cover to see worn writing scraled on it with dates as he slowly began to read...

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Pain.

It was what he felt all over his body as he slowly sat up taking the scenery around him with fascination. He was surrounded by trees that were all broken down and burned, there were also scrouch marks some places on the ground like a battle had happened. Slowly he stood and brushed the dirt off his blue pants the best he could. Something was telling him he had to get up and start walking, but to where and the reason it was there completely stunned him. Shaking his head he began to walk, when he paused as he noticed something in his hand.

It was strange, most of it was blue and a smaller part yellow, it had a screen with some buttons below it. He was about to chuck the strange item, when he sensed something inside that told him that the artifact was important. Sighing he pocketed it and began his walk again, running a hand through his brown hair. Now where was he supposed to go? Images seemed to go through his mind they were scattered and brief, but he did pick up one thing, the words Forest Terminal. Whatever that meant, it just seemed he had to go there. Maybe other people were there that could help him, or maybe know who he was, he himself didn't know after all. It seemed weird that he didn't, pushing the thought away he knocked some branches aside and began to pick his way through the trees.

The wind began to blow, as strange noises were carried with it, he started to go towards them, when some warning seemed to come that said to stay away and keep moving. Deciding to follow this sense he turned slightly and hurried along almost at a run, until the noises vanished and he stopped panting from out of breath. Why was he so tired all of a sudden? That was when the pain made itself known again, as he caught his breath. Straightening himself up he took off again, something wasn't right and he had to head in the direction the images seemed to make. "Forest Terminal." He muttered and moved some bushes aside. No matter what he would make it there, if only to find out who he was...

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The creaking sound of a door opening caught Kouji's attention as he turned from the page he was reading to see Takuya step in. The other looked tired and out of breath as Kouji gave him a rare smile in greeting. The browned haired boy smiled back as he moved over to his bed and pulled his hood off to show his hair was partially wet with sweat, as he began to rub his temples, but wasn't doing too good of a job. Curious Kouji left the book to sit next to the other and pulling down the tan fingers began to rub Takuya's temples for him. Kouji watched as the baka's eyes slipped shut as he took a relaxing breath. "So what did Talon do to make you so tense and tired?" He asked.

Takuya's eyes opened as Kouji's fingers slipped down to take his hands into his own. "You wouldn't believe me even if I told you tons of times, in different ways." He commented. "I find it hard to believe myself." He added as an afterthought.

"Oh. Turn around." Kouji instructed, and Takuya did as he was told, and felt Kouji's hands on his shoulders as he began to work out his sore muscles. "You are tense, I hope it wasn't too bad." He muttered concerned as he began to work out a nasty knot in the other's shoulder.

"No I'll be..." He couldn't finish his sentence as Kouji hit the right spot and he felt a shiver go through his body as his back arched a little. "Fine." His shoulders felt better by now as he tried to pull away, but Kouji wouldn't let him. He felt the lone wolf go to that spot again, except more rougher this time trying to work out a nasty knot, but that caused another shiver to run down his spine, as his back arched more and he couldn't stop the small whimper that came from his lips.

Kouji stopped the action he was doing as he heard the whimper come out, and when he did he felt Takuya slump against him his eyes half closed. He looped his arms around and just held the brown haired boy there, as a genuine smile graced his lips.

Takuya snuggled into Kouji's embrace even more as he felt relaxed, but at the same time exhausted, and he didn't know why. He knew he wasn't that tired, but that didn't stop his eyelids from drooping shut as sleep suddenly claimed him in it's grasp.

The lone wolf watched as his baka fell asleep, maybe he was more tired than originally thought. Sighing he shifted the others weight until the brown haired boy was laid out on the bed, kissing his forehead Kouji moved back over to the desk where the book was still open. He was so engrossed in the page he didn't hear the small whimpers of pain coming from Takuya's mouth...

Once more he was running through a long hallway, but this time the taunting and evil laughter wasn't chasing him. He was running out of need to get to his destination, he had to get there first before that thing got there. It amazed him that he was still running at such a pace, but he knew it was sheer will that he had to get there and it was the only thing that kept him from collasping right then and there.

Up ahead was a wooden door as a explosion rocked the halls causing him to almost fall flat on his face, but another one steadied his balance as he crashed into the door. Quickly fumbling with the handle he pushed the door open with a resounding slam against the stone wall. His brown eyes darted across the room, it seemed completely unharmed, and he was alone. It's stone walls were hidden by cases of old books as some furniture littered the room and off to the side a fire was still burning. Wasting no more time he hurried to the center of the place where a gleaming sword was floating in the air as a pillar of light decended from above though there was no window. The blade was long, smooth stainless steel, but glowed with an inner light, it was the hilt that held the attention. It was carved like a white tiger with the blade emerging from the mouth. Inside he remembered being told that this was a weapon used only in dire emergancies, due to the curse that was bestoyed upon it. But the temple was under attack several were dieing and it would continue if he didn't do something, someone had to take the sword, before that thing came.

Hesitating no longer he thrusted his hand into the pillar of light and pulled out the sword taking it in both hands. He lifted the sword with the blade pointed straight up in the air with a facination at the light weight. What happened next threw him off gaurd as the pillar of light moved to land on top of him. That was when the burning happened and he cried out in pain as the sword began to glow. Something was changing inside of him, as something else was being taken away. He could hear his D-Tector shrieking in the background as a wind tore at his clothes, but then it stopped as a deathly silence surrounded him. /We are connected now/ A very deep rich voice said resounding from everywhere, that echoed a weariness that seemed to tell of something else, but he couldn't figure out what. It seemed beyond the boy, even beyond all digimon, as he slowly looked down he saw the light go inside of him as the blade subdued it's own light.

Still too much in awe he didn't notice the coldness until it grew to freezing in the room. Turning his eyes took in the figure that stood at the doorway, the black cloaked form that reeked of an evil so pure even the darkness would tremble in the sight of it. Something in the back of his mind told him he should know what the thing was, but he was drawing a blank. Narrowing his eyes he held on to the sword tighter, as he smirked. "Your too late, I've already taken the sword."

If the thing was angry he couldn't see it in the face because the hood was blocking it from view, but he more felt it radiating off the body. The air seemed to get colder, as it's hands clenched into fists as a rage began to build. The room was affected by it, books began to fall to the ground as an entire shelf tipped over to spill onto the ground with a loud crash startling the boy as he fumbled with the sword a little as the wind grew harsher, but suddenly it stopped. Surprised he turned to the black cloaked figure, when it had been crouching before in a rage, now stood tall as a certain glee filled the room. "You may have the sword boy, but you are not bound by it. Hand it over and no harm will come to you, don't make me use force, then harm would be unavoidable." It hissed.

He froze in motion for a second as his eyes went to the sword that was now by his side. He wasn't bound by it, but that voice inside of his mind, the strange feeling of losing something to hear that voice. Shaking his head to clear it he looked directly at the hood of the figure, but he couldn't see the eyes inside of that depth of darkness. His grip tightened on the sword as he raised it his eyes determined. "Then you will have to use force to take this sword because I'm not giving it to you!" He shouted as he felt his body grow tense.

"Then, so be it." The voice hissed and that was all the warning the boy got as the figure leaped forward a weapon materializing in his hands. He barely had time to block the sword that came flying at him, as he pushed the figure off. He watched the person stumble as he slid into a defenisve crouch his sword raised as it began to glow. Some inner knowing awoke inside and with a wave of his hand the person was thrown across the room.

He was about to charge forward and attack while his foe was down, but froze, the hood had come off the figure during the flight. A pair of familar looking eyes glared at him as the person smirked and slowly stood hefting his sword up into the air. "No...you can't...it's not possible..." The boy stuttered out and began to back several feet away as the tip of his sword dragged on the ground, forgotton in his moment of shock realization.

"Oh, but it is." The figure hissed in a cold voice as he glided forward. "It is..." He said and charged black blade raised...

Takuya shot up from his bed screaming as he raised his hands to block the sword from driving into his gut. He then looked around carefully in his room, this wasn't the same place he was before, he blinked several times trying to sort out his scattered mind. Even as he did it parts of the dream began to fade from his memory. He looked down at his tan hands, where was he, he certainly didn't remember falling asleep on a bed, more like the ground. Also where were the others, he couldn't have slept that late that they would leave him behind...

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Kouji who had been reading a very interesting part in the book ignored Takuya's whimperings, and fell out of his chair when he heard the scream totally startled. On the ground he turned shocked blue eyes to the browned haired boy sitting up in his bed. He was looking around the room, like he didn't know where he was. Instantly worried, the lone wolf quickly stood and moved over to Takuya's bed kneeling next to the boy. "Takuya?" He asked concern etched in his voice.

For a response he watched as the head turned towards him as he recieved a blank stare and it remained that way for several seconds as recongnition of a fellow comrade dawned in the brown eyes. "Kouji, your here too, good, do you know where we are?" He asked eyes darting around the room, so he missed the complete look of surprise on the others face.

The blue haired boy was shocked at the question, what was going onwas the dream Takuya having so vivid his mind was still halfway in it. Sighing he decided to try to find out what was going on with his partner. Clearing his throat he got the others attention and began. "Takuya what's..."

"We should get out of here I mean who knows what could happen." The other interrupted and began to move off the bed. "First we need to..." That was when he froze and started to shake violently. "Shit." Takuya whispered and closed his eyes in pain, as the memories came rushing back to him in full force; he at first didn't feel Kouji's arms around him until they squeezed with such strength it couldn't be ignored. Bleary eyes opened to stare directly into confused and concerned blue ones. "Sorry." He whispered barely audible as he blinked several times to adjust to his surroundings again. He felt Kouji shift his position to hold him against his own body with his back against the lone wolf's chest, but the arms didn't losen their hold. Sighing Takuya closed his eyes again and took in a shaky breath trying to calm down his wreck of nerves. 'Damn not again' He thought and reopened his eyes to stare directly ahead at the door as a deathly silence hovered around the two.

It was Kouji who finally spoke breaking the silence. "Takuya what happened?" He asked as he pulled the other closer to him in hope to calm him down.

Takuya took a deep breath as he tried to sort out his scattered mind once more, he remembered the dream, it was bits and pieces, but still it was there. Though could he tell the lone wolf, his boyfriend, the one who cared for him, the details of his dream, of all the dreams he had been having. 'No, not now, it isn't the time. But when will be the time?' He could at least tell him some parts of the truth if any. "I was having a bad dream." He whispered as he snuggled into Kouji for the strength he needed at this moment. "It's hard to explain this because even I don't have the answer, but...every time I wake up from sleeping for a few seconds I forget where I am. After the dreams are over it is even worse, as you saw..." He trailed off as the dream came to mind again, he couldn't remember what the figure looked like, or the room very well, but he knew he had been in the temple. He also remembered what the swords looked like clearly the one he was holding he knew he had seen somewhere else before. He didn't get to ponder where for long because Kouji started speaking.

"Why didn't you tell me." The lone wolf asked his voice sounding hurt.

"What could I have possibly said Kouji that wouldn't make you think I was crazy. Something like oh by the way every time I wake up from sleeping I forget where I am to only have it come rushing back to me a few minutes later. Which leaves me in a paranoid, scattered mind set for hours on end." He then laughed nervously to try to cover up the sob that was in his throat. "Even as I say it I sound crazy." He whispered his voice pained as he raised up a hand to see it still shaking.

"Sshh." The other whispered and shifted the brown haired boy so that now he was almost facing him directly. He then leaned his head down and pulled Takuya into a rough kiss as he tried to calm the boy down, while controling his own nerves at the same time. Something was wrong he could feel it inside when Takuya woke up screaming and then only seeing him, Kouji as a comrade like before it seemed like a gap was opened between them. Surprised at his own reaction he pulled the brown haired boy closer deepening the kiss, but hardening it at the same time as he felt Takuya kiss back. He didn't let up though until he felt his lungs burn for need of air as he pulled away breaking the kiss.

As his eyes opened he was met with a pair of slightly clouded, slightly stunned chocolate colored eyes. He blinked a couple of times, but noticed that the shaking had reduced to mild trembling, as he felt Takuya take breaths of air, as he panted for precious air as well. Taking time to compose himself again and catch his breath he was about to say something when he felt Takuya start to move.

The browned haired boy was moving, as he reluctantly untangled himself from the lone wolf's arms and began to slide off the bed. He could stay in Kouj's arms forever and not care about the outside world, but the image of the sword in his mind and the urgency about finding out what it was before it was too late, dominated his thoughts. He walked over to the desk and felt Kouji come and stand behind him wrapping his arms around his waist from behind to try to meet his gaze with a piercing one of his own. Takuya ignored it and picked up the book with the information of Baihumon on it. He began to flip through several of the pages looking for the images of the two swords. He came upon his own sword first and began to read the caption below it and knew Kouji was reading too.

Tiger Blade

This sword was forged by Baihumon himself before he became a god and before he became a digimon. His true name and where he came from is unknown all that is known is he had three other companions with him, they appeared in the begining of this world and he forged this sword to help fight off an ancient evil. The law of the world was defied in the creation of this sword in result a curse was placed on it. None know the extent of this curse, just that whoever wields it will be forever changed like it's creator. The sword has a hidden power that can be unleashed with a terrible destructive force that only the true wielder can summon, but now it lies dormant waiting for the right one hidden away...

The rest of the writing was too bunched together and worn with age to be read properly, but that wasn't what struck Takuya inside his heart. It was that he was going to be wielding that sword, the one with the curse laid on it. His eyes widened in surprise and shock, the extent of the curse was unknown, just that it changed the person forever. He vaguely remembered the sound of the strange voice, the weariness in it that he couldn't comprehend. Was that part of the sword's doing? Would the same thing happen to him as well? Mystified he turned the page to see if he could find anything more, but it was blank, when he was about to close the book and give up on finding the other sword he paused. Something about that page felt heavier than the others, as his fingers ran down the middle crease to feel a piece of lose paper. Carefully he pried it off and opened it to reveal that same dark sword. Suddenly it felt like some hidden feeling of knowing awoke inside of his spirit. As fear struck a bell inside of his heart his body stiffened in response as he sucked in a breath of air as the first words of the paragraph launched out at him.

Nightmare Blade

The exact twin of Tiger Blade, forged to hold the powers of darkness inside of it as a weapon that is the complete opposite of Baihumon's, but equal to that in power. It is connected with it's twin in a deep bond, as will both wielders of the swords will share a bond deeper than blood. Though both will be enemies to the other until either wielder is dead, or it's power is controlled. Unlike it's twin this sword pocesses the mind of it's wielder eventually making the person become mad within it's power. For now it sleeps on the other side of this world waiting for the right wielder to come or for it's twin to awaken...

The book slipped from Takuya's trembling hands as it crashed to the floor, he didn't have to finish what it said to know that the twin of the Nightmare Blade will awaken again. He would be the one to do it, he knew now deep inside that the dreams were not just nightmares, but visions of the future to come. It was turning into a very dark future indeed and here he was once more at the front of the line, where destiny had put him. To face down whatever hell that would be coming right at him when the Tiger Blade was awakened.

He couldn't stop the growl of frustration coming from his lips why couldn't fate just leave him alone! He didn't want to be bothered with it, it had already caused enough pain he couldn't stand any more! He then felt himself being turned around forcfully to meet Kouji's heated gaze head on and he could sense that the other wanted a full explanation about what was going on. The lone wolf seemed to sense he was still hiding something from him. Takuya couldn't keep it a secret any longer, if he was having visions the other deserved to know since he was probably going to be involved in this upcoming war as well.

Taking a deep breath he began to lower all the shields that he had so carefully built up save for the ones that held his darkest secrets. He couldn't face those just yet, let alone allow anyone else to see them; that was when he felt himself start to shake again, as he watched Kouji flinch against the raw emotion that was in his red/brown eyes. He then saw something unreadable in Kouji's, but his vision began to blur as he clutched despreatly to the blue haired boy as if he was the last real thing in his life. As everything began to tumble forth through his mind about what had happened and what was going to happen he couldn't hold back the tears from falling. Now that the tears had started they suddenly wouldn't stop as Takuya held on tighter, as he could feel Kouji bring him close and held on to him just as tightly as the tears kept coming. He could hear the other whispering comforting words in his ear trying to help him, but all he heard was mumblings as he felt the lone wolf rub his back to try to calm him.

They held each other that same way as time seemed to slow until the tears finally stopped, as Takuya blinked several times as the last of his tears slipped down his cheeks. The only problem now was that his body was wracking with so many trembles that he couldn't find the energy to move. The only energy he had was to speak, so he buried his face into Kouji's shoulder as his voice came out muffled. "I'm sorry I haven't told you everything, but lately nightmares have been haunting my sleep. I don't remember most of them, but some are bits and pieces, and at first that is what I thought they were...nightmares. Nightmares of my own tormented soul, but now I know that they were not dreams, but visions of the future. The book that I was reading just confirmed it..." He trailed off as he felt the other stiffen against his body. "It's funny." He muttered as pain came into his eyes, but Kouji couldn't see it. "How ever much I turn away destiny chases me into a new meaning of the word hell." He whispered. At that moment he wanted the tears to come again, but they wouldn't so he felt another part of himself being torn again.

"I'm sorry." Kouji whispered, he was at a loss for words. He opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again trying to think of what to say. He was shocked to learn about the temporary memory loss, but now the nightmares being visions of the future? By the way his partner was acting it seemed a terrible future was coming he could sense that. So he thought of the only thing he could say and responded to the others last comment. "Not all destiny is bad Takuya, it did after all lead me to you so we could be together." He muttered, and sighed in relief as he felt the other's body relax somewhat. "I love you." He whispered as his voice became more cofindent as he pulled Takuya away so he could stare into his eyes. "I will stick by your side through any hell and back again, I swear I will never leave you." He vowed and felt inside the truth of his words.

"Even if it could mean death?" Takuya questioned and continued without waiting for a response. "Even if I become changed?"

The blue haired boy ignored the first question and answered the second with one of his own. "Changed? What do you mean changed?"

"Kouji that sword with the caption on it, the Tiger Blade, I'm the one destined to wake it from it's slumber. That is why I dropped the book, because deep down I know it is true." At the last comment he turned away and couldn't help, but stare at the wall with the picture of the tiger god on it. Suddenly he felt part of his mind being pulled somewhere else, it only lasted a moment as he was brought back to reality to notice Kouji had been saying something.

"...I don't care, even if it means death, war, and destruction, I've stuck by you for this long after all." His voice was steady and determined and when the brown haired boy looked back he saw love in those deep blue eyes and he couldn't stop his cheeks from tinging with crimson.

"You have no idea how much those words mean to me." Takuya whispered and tilting his head gently brushed his lips against Kouji's, but the kiss was too brief for the both of them as he pulled away. He felt glad when he saw the other's cheeks turn a slight crimson as well, happy he wasn't the only embarrassed one. He was about to kiss him again when he felt something stir inside, some sense telling him he had to find Hodoer right at this moment, and he frowned. He regretted untangling himself from the lone wolf's arms because there he felt safe, secured, and loved. Instead he reached down and taking the pale hand intertwined their fingers. "I don't know why, but I have this feeling that we need to find Hodoer and right now." He commented his voice now steady though he leaned in as he brushed Kouji's lips with his own once, then twice, the second time holding it a little longer as he felt the other respond, it was as if something was telling him he needed this little bit of strength before leaving...

Kouji nodded when they pulled away panting for air as he studied Takuya for a moment his blue eyes in thought, his expression serious, as the two began to move out of the door to emerge into a hallway. "You and your feelings." He muttered disappointed that they had to stop, but this seemed important.

The two practically ran the entire way the brown haired boy leading, but Kouji almost right by his side and he squeezed Takuya's fingers to try to offer reassurance. Twists, turns, dark rough tunnels, lighted smooth tunnels, blurred through his vision as he was dragged along. The door ahead was opened instantly as the two ran in, a pair of brown eyes and blue eyes went directly to the center of the room. Only two figures were there, Hodoer, and the Renamon that Kouji recognized from the Autumn Leaf Fair. The giant room itself was empty, it was as if the two were expecting them to come, even the tourches were burned low. Matching his pace with his partner the two walked right towards the other pair stopping only a few feet away, it was Hodoer that spoke first confirming Kouji's suspicions and his sudden feeling of dread.

"We have been expecting the both of you." The digimon commented, but the next words were said with a weariness in them. "You were making an amazing recovery Takuya, I was hoping to spare this piece of news from you until the time was right. It seems though that darkness is jumping ahead of schedule so I will tell you now. You were correct in guessing that those dreams of yours were visions." He murmured getting a shocked look from Kouji and a gasp of indrawn breath from Takuya. "The sword is indeed resting in this temple, but I do not know where, you must find it on your own. A long hard battle is before you on your path, and you cannot return until it is ended." He eyed the browned haired boy carefully to only recieve a blank expression. "Fear not, a compainion will accompany you on this hard journey." His yellow orbs went down to the twos intertwined fingers and gave a small smile his cat teeth shining in the dim lited room. "You see Kouji also plays a part in this and it is good you two have bonded." Hodoer's smile grew bigger as he saw the boys blush a deep crimson, though they still held hands in a firm grip.

Off to the side Renamon smirked and flicked her tail as she placed a hand on the browned haired boy's shoulder getting him to look at her. As brown eyes met a pair of intense blue Renamon began talking. "You have a right to know who I truly am, because soon I will not be by your side." Her eyes looked sad as the emotion flickered across her vision before it faded. "I'm not a simple digimon Takuya, one that decided to follow you because you interest me. In fact I work very closely with Lady Ophanimon I was sent out to follow you along until it came time for you to find out about your true destiny and become whole again." She sighed, it shocked the fox she could do such a thing, but continued on. "We don't have alot of time, that is why I called you here."

"So that was what that feeling was..." Takuya whispered as his eyes went distant, but instantly paid attention again as Kouji squeezed his hand tightly for a brief moment.

"As I'm speaking an army is gathering outside of this temple, most of the entrances have been blocked off and several of the monks have been sent to certain areas battle ready. Though this place will not hold long as what is feared most has been awakened and it has come to claim it's twin." She said her voice subdued and seriousness was etched in it.

As soon as those words came from Renamon's mouth Kouji turned an anxious glance to his boyfriend. 'Boyfriend?' His mind questioned but he quickly shoved it aside. To his shock he noticed the other had gotton very pale and his eyes were slightly distant, Takuya looked like he was going to faint. Quickly the blue haired boy briefly touched his free hand on the others shoulder and whispered his name. He got a nervous look and nod in response, but he steadied himself in case the brown haired boy would faint, it didn't seem he could handle any more depressing news. His eyebrows rose though when he heard the hoarse whisper come from the other.

"How long?" Takuya whispered as he tried to steel himself for the terrible answer that would confirm the feeling of dread that was rising up to consume him.

"Three days at the most." It was Hodoer who answered as he kept his expression blank. "If we called for help, it would arrive too late, or completly miss this temple due to the shield."

"Can't you just take it down!" The browned haired boy exclaimed slight hysteria in his voice.

"No, because the shield is part of our defense, and will hold enemies at bay for a time before it can be broken down." He whispered the last part as his eyes downcasted. "I just wish it wasn't so soon." He murmured quietly so only Renamon could hear him.

A deathly silence hung in the room almost like the ones the gogglehead had experienced during his dreams. The strange sense of the peaceful calm before the storm broke lose and sent terror upon all. His nerves, his senses were shot to hell, as he tried to calm himself, but he started to tremble anyway. It was too much for him to take in, the dreams, the nightmare blade being awakened, the dark army that stood posed outside of the temple ready to attack, to kill them all.

That was when his knees gave out on him as he slid to the ground Kouji being dragged along with him. When he turned his head to look at the lone wolf, his brown eyes were distant staring right through towards the wall, through the dark tunnels, outside, and even beyond that. Then part of his brain suddenly shut down as another part began to pick up on a strange cold pulse beating far off, yet so close at hand he could touch it. It virbrated from all around him drowning out everything else calling out to him to join with it, to join in the destruction. In answer his fingers started in the process of touching the strange yet comforting pulse, when he was pulled back into reality by a shot of pain. Blinking several times he first met his boyfriends worried glance, to Renamon's concerned look, to Hodoer's knowing one, then back to Kouji's as he blinked again. He raised fingers of his free hand to touch the stinging area where he had been slapped.

"It was calling you, wasn't it?" Came Hodoer's voice it was laced with knowing as a strange wisdom was in his eyes that was never seen before. All he got was a confused look, and a small nod in response and he took that as proof to his statement. A grim smile then crossed his face as he looked to each boy before facing the ground. "It is not yet time for the Tiger Blade to be awakened, but your mind, heart, and spirit need to be protected from the call of the other." He didn't dare utter the name of the dark sword and even when he spoke his next words he knew he was only partially being heard. "If you are willing I'll put you under a sleeping spell that will protect you from all harm until you awaken, but be warned once wakened the things that have happened while you were in your state will come rushing back in full force. Those very things could be disasterous to you. Though you will be safe, no dreams will haunt your sleep, and the swords presence will not be able to reach you." He added in hope that it will sway the boy's desicion.

Takuya was silent as throughout the words coming from Hodoer's mouth, he had kept his gaze level with Kouji's and read the emotions that flickered through those intense blue eyes, as his own flickered a response. Sighing he knew his answer even before the monk's words ended. He was more focused on trying to convince Kouji to stay with him and not go out to fight. What he had picked up was concern, worry, protection, determination to fight, but the strongest emotion was love, but his eyes showed an inner struggle between the last two emotions.

What his brown eyes showed most was fear, loss, emptiness, but love was reflected there among the loss, that if he took up the offer from Hodoer alone, he would wake up to find Kouji dead. It was something that would absolutly destroy him, so now he was begging the other to stay with him, after a long time the lone wolf's eyes closed and he nodded. Takuya leaned in for a gentle lingering kiss in thanks as the other kissed back, but breaking it he turned towards the elderly digimon to see just how old the monk really was, it could be seen in his weariness and something inside told him he should reconize this weariness, pushing the feeling aside he asked his question. "Could you do it on the both of us?"

"I will be able to, it will tire me though, but if you wish it, and have decided together..." Seeing the nod from the brown haired boy and the blue haired boy agreeing with his now open eyes, Hodoer couldn't keep the smile from his face as he walked the remaining feet to the two. "Now lay down and relax, let your minds become calm and at peace." He murmured and watched as the two boys followed his instructions and laid down, but facing each other as arms pulled them close so the two were holding each other. The monk could see how much in love they were, and even as he began to chant hoped that it would stay strong throughout the danger that was set out before them. His hands began to glow a soft white light, as soon as his fingers touched the foreheads the spell would be completed...

Takuya felt Kouji's arms slip around his waist as his own arms went around the others neck, he was determined to fall asleep seeing Kouji and waking up in the same way. He now wasn't afraid anymore of the strong feelings that were inside of him directed at Kouji, so he gave a small smile and held that clear blue gaze. Then suddenly his eyelids started to droop as a warm light started towards his forehead and enveloped his body, but he couldn't sleep yet, he had to tell Kouji how he felt. His body though was starting to weaken along with his will, so he quickly tightened his hold and forced the words with as much emotion and sincerity his weakening body would allow him. "I love you Kouji..." He whispered as the sweet blissful sleep of the spell claimed the rest of him, but one part of his mind suddenly jumped on why the weariness seemed so familar, as the warm light became intensly bright, he fell into unconsicousness, his conclusion erased from his mind as a strange music filled his ears.

Kouji stayed awake a little longer than Takuya did as he felt the arms around his neck tightening waking him slightly from his eyelids closing all the way. His body was demanding that he succomb to sleep, but his mind wouldn't let him. So he waited for the words his partner seemed to want to say as he watched the brown haired boy's eyes start to shut. Almost giving in the lone wolf barely heard the words coming from Takuya's mouth, but they came loud and clear as if some bell had been rung right next to him. The baka said those three words, he could almost jump up and down from the joy that was bursting from his heart at that moment. Though a strange music began to seep through every part of him as the light became so bright and so warm, but he uttered one last sentence before sleep claimed him fully. "I love you too Takuya..."

Sometimes love is addiction,

Sometimes it hurts like hell and,

Sometimes you just can't get enough

The monk fell to the ground as soon as the spell was finished, he felt drained, as he turned tired eyes toward Renamon. The fox digimon bent down and helped him to his feet and offered support and he gratfully fell into it. He waved his hand over the boy's forms, they glowed a bright light as he teleported them back to their room keeping them in the same position they had been in when the spell was cast. He took a deep relaxing breath as his body began to sag from exhaustion and stress. The chosen one was safe for the time being. "I hope he is ready to take on this great task when he awakens." The monk whispered.

"So do I Heruamin2, so do I, but why did you do it? Conforming into to a mortal body that is weakened, knowing what will happen because of your choice..." The fox began extremely worried.

"I made my choice Renamon, you know that. I made it in the begining when I first saw the boy, and I don't plan on turning back from it. I've already been prepared for the consequences. Now help me so I can prepare to fight, to give defense in order to protect the one who will wield my sword..." He answered calmly even though his voice held an intense wisdom his eyes showing a knowledge of what was to come.

The fox could only comply to his wishes so steading him the two slowly made their way out of the room towards battle that could mean a new begining or an end to them all...

OooooOOOOoooooOOOOOooooooOOOOOOoooooooOOOOOOOooooooooOOOOO

Here are the answers to your reviews!

1--"Coming"

2--"My Lord"

Okay quickly a little mini disclaimer for using those three verses from Ashlee Simpson's song "Unreachable".

Special Notice

I know another right? Well truthfully I like to get my reviewers involved in my writing even if it is a little bit, because I apreciate your comments. It helps me know I'm a good writer. Anyway now during my long break I have worked out a outline of two possible outcomes from this chapter on. For the most part it just differs from where you reviewers vote now.

Outcome One: Chapter Five will go back to Zoe and her group, it will follow their adventures, throughout the cave, and the war that happens in the Temple and Kouji and Takuya will make a brief appearance. It will mostly stay with the others for maybe a few more chapters. The book will end there, yes I've been determined to finish this and looking at my outlines and talking to my friends I've decided to make a sequel.

Outcome Two: Chapter Five will jump straight to Takuya and Kouji waking up to the aftermath of the battle. It will follow them throughout the sword and Takuya fulfilling up his destiny, with snapshots of the others along the way.

Okay now heres the deal if you voters choose Outcome Two there will still be a sequel, but also the choice of Outcome One, becoming a prequel. Hope that didn't confuse you too much, so everyone vote please, or I will choose myself. See you in the next chapter! Read and Review!