Title: Tears from heaven

Summary: Farf wished someone would understand him, that someone could see past the madman, but no one does, that is until Ken finds his notebook and reads his stories (the story is better than the summary) kenxfarf Shounen-ai don't like don't read

Warning: Shounen-ai eventually, don't like, don't read and I warned you so don't flame ok

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss kreuz/Knight hunters, but I do own the story and I also don't own the song Heavy on my heart, it belongs to Anastacia.

Authors note: I'm so, so sorry that I didn't update earlier, first I had two weeks of tests, then we had a school camp, then we had a holiday, and then I had writers block, so I'm really really sorry, and I hope you don't blame me too much, so enjoy the story .

Keys:

"Talking"

'Thinking'

The little voice in Ken's head

Chapter 06: Heavy on my heart (couldn't think up a better title)

"BUT WHY! WHY DID YOU MAKE ME DO IT!" the boy screamed again. The man turned around and left but not before he said a few last words that where printed into Ken's mind forever. "See it as a message from god".

Ken yelled loudly as he opened his eyes and sat up in bed. He was panting heavily and a thin layer of sweat covered his body. His eyes were wide from shock. 'That was sick!' Ken thought as he wiped the sweat from his forehead.

He stood up and walked to the bathroom. He let the water run, splashing some of it in his face then he looked at the mirror in front of him. A terrified face looked back at him. Terrified…. That was exactly what he was. That dream had scared the hell out of him. He was very thankful that it was already morning because he didn't think he could sleep anymore.

Never in his entire live had he felt so afraid. Not even the fear that he felt when he was on the edge of death; which he was pretty often; could compare to this. It hadn't been like the nightmares he normally had. In those nightmares he knew he was asleep and that he would wake up again, but this dream had been so real. It was like it had really happened, like it was some sort of bad recollection.

He could still hear the hysterical screaming from the boy. Ken shivered as he thought of the sight. That boy… He closed his eyes trying to remember what the boy had looked like. Golden eyes and white hair, almost silver.

And then reality struck him, like a bullet trough his head. Fast…and painful. 'Jei' he thought as he looked in the mirror again. At this moment Ken felt as if his heart had just been ripped out. He didn't know why, but he knew it was a feeling he never wanted to feel again.

He tried to remember his whole dream. That wasn't such a good idea because it only made the situation worse, as he now remembered how little Jei had cried in pain. He felt so sorry for him, so, so sorry.

'But wait it wasn't real, it was just a dream' Ken thought. Yeah right is that the reason why you're shaking like a baby right now? Just a dream? I don't think so a little voice in the back of his head asked. 'No it, it's just a dream, just a stupid dream, it couldn't be real'. Oh brother here we go again .

'What?' ken asked to the voice, he knew it was stupid but he was curious. you're living in denial again the little voice said back. 'No! I, he, he's just a sick psychopath'. You know most of the mental disorders are caused by a troubled past . 'I didn't know tha-'. There's a lot you don't know Ken…. and I'm not talking about this dream .

Ken shook his head to clear it. He sighed as he walked out of the bathroom and got dressed. He quickly walked down the stairs and grasped his jacked. If he wanted to find out what was going on, the best person to talk to was the guy himself. He heard Yohji yell something about him making breakfast but he was already walking down the street.

The park was nice and quiet, the way it only ever was early in the morning. Ken slowly strolled past the gates and started walking towards the pool, looking for a certain person with white hair. After a few minutes of walking he had reached the pond which was halfway through the park. Still no sign of Jei.

Ken sighed as he decided to sit on the bench in front of the pond. How could he ever be so stupid to think that he would find Jei? Like he was just going to appear out of thin air and say something like: "did you sleep well last night, I didn't I had a horrible dream about my past last night". Or like he would just be living in one of the houses near the park and accidentally would be looking out the window.

Ken sighed again 'well at least I could give it a try'. He looked up at the houses not expecting to find anything, but fate had other plans for him (1). There, in the second windowsill on the second floor of the third apartment, was a young man with white hair and golden eyes. He was sitting in that windowsill looking down at him and Ken felt his heart skip.

#A little bit earlier, Schwartz apartment#

"Farf, I'm going out, Brad and Schuldig are also away so you'll be alone ok?" Nagi said whilst he put on his coat. Farfarello gave a quick nod and then started to write again. Nagi sighed and walked out of the door.

Farfarello heard the door behind him close. The house was now silent, too silent. He stood up, walked to the CD player and turned it on.

I try to fly away but it's impossible, and every breath I take is birth to deeper sigh.(2)

For a moment I am weak, so it's hard for me to speak….. even though we're underneath the same blue sky.

The words filled the silent room as Farfarello walked over to sit in the windowsill. He didn't feel like writing anymore, so instead he just listened to the song.

If I could paint a picture of this melody, it would be a violin without his strings.

And the campus in my mind sees the songs I left behind… like pretty flowers and a sunset.

He closed his eyes and leant his head against the glass.

It's heavy on my heart, I can't make it alone.

Heavy on my heart, I can't find my way home.

Heavy on my heart….. so come and free me, it's so heavy on my heart.

He opened his eyes again and looked at how his breath turned into water on the ice-cold glass.

I had my shear of pleasure, and I've tasted pain.

I never thought that I would touch an angels wings.

There's a journey in my eyes, it's getting heard for me to… hide.

Like an ocean at the serried.

It's heavy on my heart, I can't make it alone.

Heavy on my heart, I can't find my way home.

Heavy on my heart….. so come and free me, it's so heavy on my heart.

Look…can you find me in the darkness and love…don't let me down.

There's a journey in my eyes, it's getting hard for me to… hide.

And I never thought that I would touch an angels wings-ings-ings-ings-ings-ings.

"Ah damn CD player" Farfarello said as he stood up and tuned the CD off. Silence. Quietly Farfarello walked over to the window again, leaning his forehead against the glass. He sighed. Why had his life needed to be so complicated? Why couldn't his life be normal like everybody elses. Only if it was just for ones. Just for ones he wanted someone who could understand him, someone to be his friend or maybe even love him. But that would never happen.

Farfarello sighed again opening his eyes he didn't know he had closed. His eyes fell on a young man who was sitting on the bench by the pond. 'Ken' he thought, then he started to panic 'he mustn't see me, if he finds out were we live I will be in big trouble'.

But it was already too late, because the moment Farfarello wanted to run out of sight his eyes met Ken's. On that moment he fled, his heart skipped and his legs turned into Jell-O. Their eyes only met for a few seconds, but to Farfarello it felled like the seconds had become years.

Finally Ken looked away. 'What the heck was that?' Farfarello thought as he let out the breath he head been holding. He looked again, Ken was gone. He turned his head away, on that moment he heard the doorbell ring. He sighed, that must be Schuldig who finally realised he forgot this credit card.

He walked down the stairs, and opened the door. His eyes meting green ones, as he heard the following words. "Hallo Jei".

Actually I had other plans with him.

I had to put this song in, because this song is where I get my inspiration for the story

So that was Chapter 06 I hope you enjoyed it although the ends sucked and please review.

-Neko-tenshi