Hello! And welcome to another exciting chapter of: the cheese is the answer to all your questions! Only today, purchase one episode, get one free! Buy now offer only.
HAHA now that I've got that outta the way…. bring on the cheesy goodness!
In our last chapter….
:Flashback:
Draco: "Can you carry me there? Im too weak and anemic, and your so manly and stong…and muscley…you could surely carry me easily…you muscley guy you"
Ginny: weakens with all the praise "Well I dunno.."
Draco: "Please? Oh great one?" gets on knees
Ginny: "Fine" heaves Draco onto her back
Draco: "sweet"
Now….ONWARDS!
Ginny: "Lucky I'm so muscley aye?"
Draco: "Eh…yea, sure"
Ginny: Heaves Draco along the worn path to Hagrid, where they hide unsuspiciousaly in a large closet that seems to have just appeared out of nowhere.
Draco: "A closet aye Ginny?" smirks "I'm sorry but I just don't feel that way about you"
Ginny: rolls eyes "Damn, I was hoping you would faint at the sight of the blackness… and then I could…uhh rape you when your back was turned…yes yes…now you have found out my secret plan, no raping for me I guess" mock sad face "too bad"
Draco: confused look "yes…I understand why'd you wanna rape me, but yea…"
Ginny: "SHUSHHY! We need to find a way to get that oaf Hagrid out of his cabin…It's burning time"
Draco: "I thought you were like…. good mates with him…. Blast ended Skrewt mates…or something"
Ginny: "Nah, we were…like part of the we love blast ended skrewts (W.L.B.E.S) club…but then our third member quit…. and yea…here we are"
Draco: "who was the third member?" interested face
Ginny: "Guess"
Draco: "Mud-Granger?" stops at the evil look on Ginny's face
Ginny: "Yes…I hate Hermionie now…stupy mudblood, now I have no blast ended skrewts club to go see on those sad lonely Monday evenings" starts sobbing "WHY!"
Draco: Pats Ginny's back awkwardly "Um calm down, little one"
Ginny: "Shuttup, I'm taller than you"
Draco: "Oh yip, you wish" pokes out tongue
Ginny: "Yes, and I wish I had a Oreo, cheese and tomato pizza…. right now"
Draco: "Uhhh…. yes, me too" Looks disgusted, "Sounds good"
Ginny: "Yea…. well do do do do dooooo" starts humming
Draco: starts humming in symphony
Ginny: Ignores him "What we need is…some matches, or a lighter or something…Draco do you smoke?"
Draco: 'Why? Oh do you need a lighter?"
Ginny: "No, I just really need a smoke" rolls eyes
Draco: misses this "I didn't no you smoked…ohhhhh badass…" smirks
Ginny: "I don't smoke, I was being a plank…duh" spanks him
Draco: "I knew that…and don't spank me!" spanks her back
Ginny: "fine' pouts, spanks him
Draco: "Well…." Spanks her
Ginny: "we need a LIGHTER!" snaps angrily, spanking him extra hard
Draco: winces "Golly, throw a physco, I don't have to hang out with you ya know, you should think of it as a…. as a…. favor, you might even end up moving you up higher in the food chain, by the end of this" smirks
Ginny: 'Or people will most likely shun me for even contemplating hanging with you, most likely the latter"
Draco: not having heard Ginny, poses "I'm SOOOOooo sexc"
Ginny: "I'm not too sure bout that…" shakes head "Actually I'm really really certain, umm nobody would agree with you"
Draco: looks at her pityingly "I find your lack of faith disturbing"
Ginny: "I'm a leprechaun!"
Draco: "More like a Clurrigan"
Ginny: "HEY NOW! None of that! None of that!"
Draco: immating her "BACK AWAY FROM THE CAR! PUT YOUR HANDS BEHIND UR BACK!"
Ginny: "Shuttup"
Draco: "I'd insult you, but you're not bright enough to notice"
Ginny: 'hahaha that was SOOOo lame" cracks up
Draco: "Not even, I stayed up at night thinking up my cool insults, and they ARE cool…really cool, too cool for you…" mutters angrily
Ginny: rolls eyes "Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you"
Draco: paranoidly "Who's out to get me? Who? Tell me! I need to know, there are lotsa bad bad people out there who wouldn't hesitate to use my body, and you can't be too safe ya try to kill me…or worse…rape me!"
Ginny: "Eeep!"
Draco: "Hey look at this!" points to a little box in the corner of the wardrobe
Ginny: "What? Where? Who what when why?"
Draco: "there's a box of matches…. we can use them! To torment people…or to burn down Hagrid's umm hut-like thing!"
Ginny: "AHAHAH I knew I was keeping you round for something! Wouldn't be your brains….so it must be your….ingenuity!"
Draco: "That's right" looks pleased
Ginny: "Don't let it go to your head, your ego's already big enough"
Draco: "HEY!" starts feeling his head "My heads normal size! Can't say the same about Ronny's"
Ginny: "Ronny?" giggles
Draco: Blushes "Ummm Ron….ummm hey look! A shinny thing!" points to floor
Ginny: "Where! WHERE!" starts scrambling round on the floor
Draco: 'Ohh…it must've escaped or something" smirks
Ginny: sad face
Draco: smirks "I got the matches, let's go burn something! Big wooden…and cheap! No Weasley not your house…HAGRIDS! MWAHAHA" cackles
Ginny: shakes head
Draco: continues cackling while thinking I'm getting pretty good at this cackling…must tell dad the lessons seem to be working…
Ginny: opens the wardrobe door cautiously
Draco: "I'll burn it if you…. you…. distract the big one"
Ginny: "Hagrid?"
Draco: "No the dog" rolls eyes
Ginny: "Ok…. FANG! FANG! COME HERE!"
Draco: covers Ginny's mouth with his hand "NOOOoooo GINNY!"
Fang comes rushing towards Ginny, followed closely by a affronted looking Hagrid
Draco: sneaks off towards the back of the "House"
Ginny: "Hagrid! My main man! Long time no see!" starts acting black, as she is very very nervous
Hagrid: confused look "Ginny! Hello…I mean 'ello, I am Hag'rid the 'grounds keeper" starts normally then adds in his "accent"
Ginny: "I know…." Joins in with the confused looks
Hagrid: "ohh…I mean ohh'ohhh"
Ginny: "Well now that we have that settled, lets take a little walk over to her" grabs Hagrid's arm and drags him toward the Hogwarts castle
Hagrid: "o'k 'then, I am Hag'rid"
Ginny: rolls eyes "Yes…."
Drags Hagrid off to the castle, and through the large wooden doors, fang trailing behind
Draco: mutters "Finally" edges toward the hut, and starts pouring gasoline all over it…where that came from, I've no idea….
POOF! Big cloud of sparkly dust
Draco: "WTF?" looks confusedly around then settles back on the dust
Harry appears, once again this time, in the normal Hogwarts uniform, though holding a huge lollipop, the size of his head
Draco: "Potter?" curiously
Harry: "Hey Draco" cheerfully
Draco: "Are you…are you…my conscious?" scared look
Harry: laughs! "Hardly! I'm just here for the free cheese grater Malfoy clickabe pen."
Draco: "As am I…as am I…"
Harry: "Ok…as long as I have my LOLLYPOP!"
Draco: 'Yes…lollypop" resumes the gasoline pouring
Harry: "What are you doing?"
Draco: "I am…. cleaning that ugly oafs house…I mean, that cool cool guy…Hagrid"
Harry: "OK!" smiles non-stop
Draco: lights the match and watches as the hut goes up in flames "Now that is a job well done" stands back and watches appreciatively.
Harry: "Hey! Lotsa pretty colors! Red and orange! And firee!"
Draco: 'Yes…I shall be off now… people to do, places to see, cheesey stuff to eat"
Harry: "mmkay" opens mouth and bites half the lollpop off "MMM yum"
Draco: "Yes"
Harry: "I shall be back"
Draco: groans
Harry: disappears, leaving half a lollypop, the size of a big turtle, or a small house, or a mouse
Ginny and Hagrid return, Draco puts on a sad face
Draco: "GINYY! GINNYY! Someone…someone burnt down Hagrid's house while I was innocently sitting there…innocently!"
Ginny: hugs Draco "Don't worry Draco, you'll be fine"
Draco: whispers in Ginny's ear "I burnt it, I burnt it good MWAHAHAHA"
Ginny: looks scared, but then gleeful
Hagrid: falls to the ground, wringing his hands in anguish "WHYYY? WHYY? What d'id I do wro'ng?' It was tha't evil m'uggle t'v! Wa'sn't it?"
Ginny: 'Fear not Hagrid, me and Draco will take that leftover house wood off your hands, easy peasy lemon squeezy! It'll be sweet as!"
Hagrid: 'They'll be no wo'od le'ft Gi'nny, It'll b'e all gone'd after the' fi're "
Ginny and Draco: "WHHAT!"
Hagrid: falls asleep
Ginny: "well I guess we need to find another way across that darn hole then"
Draco: "I guess so….FUCK!"
Ginny: 'Hey now, none of that language in the school of God"
Draco: raises eyebrows "Sorry… forgive me father for I have sinned" starts praying
Ginny: "Damn right" starts heading back up to the Dungeons
Draco: "HEY! Wait up!" run's behind her "Can you carry me again? Oh great strong one…"
Ginny: 'NOO!" storms off
Draco: "Damn" trudges after her "WAIT UP!"
To be continued…..
Author Notes: Ok well my story got taked off before…so now I have like author notes that say thankyou to all the pplz that reviewed me before but…yeh I don't have them as my review-ee's now so…yeh :D thanks to those people that reviewed my fic before it was deleted of here…so yeh :D thanks! I am currently writing you guys 4 chapters (yes you heard right) to make up for it, so if you could please take a couple of minutes out of your busy life to review my fic I would be terribly gracious, thankyou again!
Ok well I am terribly sorry to have to put you through the torture of listening to my uhh "skills" at doing Hagrid's accent, bear in mind it is a work in progress…aight? Right…thanks:D
So yes, all you other pplz out there who are reading this…I hope your reading this…. Please? Well I just wanna say plz review and I will…uummmm give you a piece of cheese, a gouda good time you will have with my cheese! (HAHAH GET IT?) oh well, I thought it was funny! Well please review and I love all you guys out there!