The Gone With The Wind reference is for NikuroSanzo who always waves me on and shares with me some of the funniest images that inspire me to do things that in hindsight, probably weren't such a hot idea. What would I do without her! And for everyone else who has been writing me reviews, big hugs to all of you. This story was concieved in a random moment and has grown into something delightful and magical - for me anyway. Knowing others are enjoying it as well is just icing on the cake!
The pizza had been devoured along with a bag of crisps and a number of beers. Both men were sated and lazy, sprawled in their respective seats, watching as the hero launched into another impossible fight sequence. Carl looked over at Van Helsing and said "Hey, maybe you should take some lessons with this guy. He's taking on at least 10 guys and hasn't so much as mussed his clothing." He grinned at Van Helsing, knowing that in the last hour or so, they had come to a place of friendly ribbing.
Van Helsing just growled, "Bite me Carl. I didn't see you doing so hot when you were dealing with the gargoyles. " He watched as the hero did a gravity defying leap kick and then landed neatly. He snorted in disgust and said "Not possible. Even if you pulled off that move – which you can't without wires – you'd never be able to land without at least spraining an ankle. Too much force and momentum behind you. Ridiculous. This guy wouldn't last 5 minutes in a real fight"
Carl just laughed and said "Yeah, but you got to admit, he looks good. But since you are saying you can't pull off the moves, maybe we should think about changing your clothes. Think we could track down that outfit he's wearing?" Carl looked slyly at Van Helsing, guessing that any suggestion that he wear something ridiculous in leather and studs would set him off.
Van Helsing snarled and said "It will be a cold day in hell before I wear something like that. I'm not running around like some reject from a leather club."
Carl knew he was probably pushing his luck but he just couldn't help himself. "Oh come on. You know what they say about if you dress for the job you want to have…" His grin was ear to ear but the grin quickly turned to a yelp as the Hunter launched himself from the chair and pinned Carl to the couch.
Van Helsing had Carl's hands trapped and he loomed over the smaller man. "So, still think I should wear that stupid outfit?" He pressed down on Carl to emphasize that he had him completely at his mercy.
Carl was struggling to catch his breath as it had been knocked out of him by the impact of Van Helsing slamming into him. He tried to squirm but found he was pretty much trapped. He looked at Van Helsing and suddenly felt like a rabbit that had been cornered by a predator. He swallowed heavily and managed to squeak out "No. On further consideration, I think that perhaps you should just wear whatever you feel like" He offered a weak smile and prayed for mercy.
Van Helsing fought back a grin at Carl's hasty capitulation. He pretended to think about the matter while he could practically feel the wheels turning in Carl's head. Really, he makes it far too easy thought Van Helsing as he shifted his weight to get more comfortable. God, this couch is not much better then that damn chair!
Carl bit his lip as he realized that Van Helsing wasn't showing any signs of letting him go. In fact he seemed to be shifting to get himself into an even better position. This was definitely not a good thing! He looked up at Van Helsing with wide, pleading eyes and said "If I promise never again to make suggestions about what you should wear, will you let me up? Please"
A man would have had to been made of stone to resist the puppy dog pleading on Carl's face. And while Van Helsing would like to think he was hard as nails, he was just as big a sucker as the next guy when it came to that look. He let go of Carl's hand and said "Deal" He then moved himself entirely off Carl and settled himself back into his set. But he couldn't stop the laugh that came as Carl gingerly sat up and straightened his clothes.
Carl looked disgruntled over at Van Helsing. How dare he laugh at him! But the glare quickly faded as the humor of the situation struck him. "Well, along with not waking you out of a sound sleep, and borrowing your weapons without asking, I now know not to make cracks about your wardrobe. Anything else I perhaps should know about?" He smiled over at the Hunter who just grinned at him in return.
"Well, I wouldn't recommend getting caught looking through my stuff." His grin faltered for a moment as he remembered how he had done just that to Carl but then he shrugged it off. It was necessary to know exactly who he was dealing with. Really it was only intelligent operating procedure… wasn't it?
Carl meanwhile was attempting not to squirm visibly. Did Van Helsing suspect he had taken a look around while he was at his apartment? If he did, then Carl was in really big trouble. But its not like he really saw anything incriminating… well, except for the magazines. At the memory of finding the magazines, Carl blushed and then mentally cursed himself as he realized he was in danger of giving himself away. He forced himself to look at the TV and try to get back into the movie.
Van Helsing focused back on Carl, just as Carl looked at the movie screen, thus completely missing Carl's momentary incriminating lapse. He felt a tinge of guilt as he looked at Carl's innocent face. The guy would be really embarrassed if he knew that Van Helsing had looked through his box of photos. Especially that last photo of his college boyfriend.
Remembering that last bit, he found his mind wandering. Carl had looked so happy in that photo. Certainly much more carefree then he had seemed in any of the other photos. Hell, more then he appeared to be now. Granted, with all that had happened, it wasn't exactly the easiest time to be relaxed but somehow he suspected that Carl didn't act like that anymore.
Sure he was kicking back now and Van Helsing had enjoyed the banter of the last couple of hours but he wondered how often Carl gave himself permission to take time off? And what did he do with it?
He looked over at Carl who had become absorbed again in the movie. He studied the blonde and remembered something he said earlier. I rarely have anyone here… While that could just mean that his place wasn't the hangout spot of his group, he was more inclined to believe it meant that Carl didn't really have a lot of friends. After all, the man had a huge house and a top of the line entertainment system. It would be logical for people to want to congregate here. But the truly uncomfortable furniture implied that it rarely, if ever, happened. He frowned at that thought. Carl was a geek but he was also funny and good company. Didn't seem right that he spent so much time alone. No wonder why he was so quick to offer a place here. The guy was probably lonely.
He picked up his beer and took a drink. He could certainly understand that feeling. He looked at Carl again when he laughed at some quip one of the characters had made. Carl's smile brought a smile to his own face. Carl was one of those people who's happiness was infectious. He shook his head at the thought. God, I'm turning soft. Keep this up and you are going to wind up becoming an Oprah watching poof.
He turned back to the movie, which had reached its final battle between the hero and the bad guy. Once again he found himself critiquing the fighting style of the hero and his snort of amusement was enough to draw Carl's attention.
Carl quirked and eyebrow and said "Let me guess. You feel that our intrepid hero is showboating and that his outfit is even less fitting for a man of action then his original one."
Van Helsing snorted again. "Hell, yes he's showboating. All those flashy moves would insure that he had two broken legs and a knife in his gut. He leaves himself wide open all the time. He should have taken the bad guy out from a distance and saved the grandstanding for later. "
Carl just laughed and said "Yeah, that works in real life but makes for a pretty anti-climatic ending. After all, the whole point of this was to impress the girl so she'll go off with him. Seems like a hell of a lot of effort for such a twinkie but there's no accounting for taste." He laughed again when the hero swept the girl into his arms for the finale kiss. "See, you grandstand, you get the girl" he said with a huge grin at Van Helsing
Van Helsing looked at the screen and then back at Carl. "So let me get this straight. If I break out of a prison planet, get chased by lots of bad guys, get captured, get beat up, escape again, almost get blown up, get into a huge showdown where I get my ass kicked and yet some how miraculously manage to win, THEN I get the girl."
Carl's grin got wider "Precisely. Maybe you should have taken notes." He lounged back on the couch, his face the picture of mischief.
Van Helsing looked at Carl thoughtful and said "But I got you and I didn't have to grandstand at all. Just one fight and you took me home. Seems to me like my system works just fine and with only a fraction of the effort." He looked at Carl, his lips twitching with the effort to keep the smile at bay.
Carl flushed and opened and shut his mouth as he tried to come up with a comeback. Van Helsing continued to look him, the effort to maintain his "serious" look almost more then he could manage.
Carl finally pulled himself together and said "Yes but its hardly the same thing. They are going off to live happily ever after in true Hollywood fashion. Our relationship hardly compares." Part of him was a bit depressed at the thought. It would have been quite enjoyable to head off into the sunset to shag like mad. Really, things are always so much better in the movies.
Van Helsing just shrugged. "Well, if it bothers you, I could sweep you off somewhere. God knows that staircase out there is fit for that scene in Gone with The Wind."
Carl blushed and said "No, that's quite alright. You've carted me around enough for one day. " Still, part of him was wishing that Van Helsing had been serious about the offer. Pull yourself together, Carl. This is all just in good fun. He's not really flirting with you. He sighed and decided that he should probably retreat before he said something stupid.
"Speaking of the stairs, I should probably make use of them and go to bed. I've got your crossbow to fix and those briefs from the Order to review. And since you've made it clear that if I don't take care of myself, you'll drag me out of the lab, I'd best get a good night's sleep." He pushed himself to his feet and started to move towards the door. He stopped in the doorway and said "Good night, Van Helsing. I'll see you tomorrow."
Van Helsing just nodded and said "Yeah, good night." Carl left the room and Van Helsing was left alone with his beer. He drank it slowly and stared at the dark TV screen. The hero always wins. The hero always gets the girl. The hero never sits alone in an ugly room with uncomfortable furniture and wonders why he's going to bed alone.
God, I really hates heroes!