Just want to say that this chapter is not as light and fluffy as most. Important stuff but not goofy.
Carl was still sulking when they pulled into the driveway and Van Helsing decided that for the sake of peace and harmony, he was going to have to do something to pull Carl out of his mood. Deciding that the best way would be to distract Carl with something else, he picked his bait accordingly.
"I was thinking I should probably check out the intel that Jinette has sent to me. The briefs are of no use to me but they might have sent me some information on how they think the gargoyles got here." He watched Carl out of the corner of his eye and saw Carl perk up a bit. Gotcha!
Still, Carl was not going to make it too easy for Van Helsing and said "I suppose if you have no interests in the briefs then you should pass them along to me and I can see what I can make of them. " He walked to the door and unlocked it, then turned off the alarm, the portrait of cool disinterest.
Van Helsing stifled a laugh at Carl's performance. He knew damn well that Carl was champing at the bit to see the files but was playing it cool because he was still upset that Van Helsing had implied that he need a keeper. Which he did but that was a topic best saved for another time. Right now he needed to get back into the saddle and get some work done. While he wasn't quite in top physical shape yet, he did need to start making plans for how to track the gargoyles back to their nest and how to wipe them out. Gargoyles were much more fierce when defending their nest. If Carl could figure out some way to incapacity them long enough for him to take them out, that would make everything a lot easier. Which of course looped everything back around to getting Carl in a better mood.
He followed Carl into the house and said, "The briefs will be a series of attachments. Best way to give them to you is to email them. " He kept his tone professional and his face neutral.
Carl was trying to hold onto his annoyance at Van Helsing's assessment that he was some kind of hopeless case that needed defending but it was hard in the face of a new problem to solve. Just the knowledge that there were briefs of information about something he knew nothing about was a temptation beyond resisting. His cool demeanor slipped a bit as he said, "That's fine. Send them to me and I'll start going through them. Depending on what I find, I'll try to come up with a working model for incapacitating them in the next day or two."
Van Helsing turned slightly to prevent Carl from seeing the smirk that was threatening to make its appearance. For all Carl's attempts to seem blasé, Van Helsing could see the wheels turning in Carl's head as he speculated about what he might find in the files. Carl was in the height of his geekiness now and Van Helsing knew that Carl's earlier sulk was becoming a quickly dwindling memory. In the end, Carl's curiosity will always trump his desire to hold a grudge. A useful thing really.
He headed towards the stairs saying, "My laptop is upstairs. Give me your email address and I'll send the briefs over."
Carl suddenly blushed and looked uncomfortable for a moment. Van Helsing quirked his eyebrow and said "What? It seemed like a perfectly reasonable question"
Carl's blush didn't abate and finally he mumbled "its He refused to meet Van Helsing's eyes knowing the mocking he'd see there.
Van Helsing burst into laughter. That was so typical of Carl and very appropriate. Carl just let out a small harrumph of annoyance and started to walk away towards his lab. Van Helsing desperately fought down his laughter as he tried to placate Carl. "Oh come on. You have to admit, that's a damn funny email address. And that is why you picked it – isn't it?"
Carl stopped and turned. "Yeah, it was. But it's a bit more embarrassing when you give it to a non-geek." He grinned sheepishly, looking boyishly cute. "But since in two days you've already seen me in more embarrassing situations then most people will ever see me in, its actually not so bad in comparison."
Van Helsing chuckled and said, "It suits you. Mine's completely unimaginative but then again, it was given to me by the Order. I suppose it could be worse. Had they given it to me after they got to know me, it would probably be just rolled his eyes. does that not surprise me?" Shaking his head he said, "Well, send the briefs along and I'll see what I can come up with. And your crossbow is back in service if you want to give it a test run." Frowning thoughtfully he said, "I'm going to need to set up some kind of firing range/testing facility for weapons. I've got an area I re-enforced to do some laser testing but I'm thinking we'll need something a bit more sophisticated then just a target against the wall." Carl's eyes lost focus as he began to think about what might be needed for such a facility.
Van Helsing just smiled as he watched Carl "check out". Once you put a problem in front of him, Carl was not going to stop until he solved it. And since the problem in question was one that was going to make Van Helsing's life a whole lot easier, he wasn't about to complain. Really, being partnered with a geek did have its advantages. He headed up to his room to check for the email from Jinette.
Carl wandered off to his lab with his mind on the potential mayhem they might need to test and what kinds of things would be needed for it. He completely forgot about the fact that he had been talking to Van Helsing. He was well into designing the testing area when he thought about asking Van Helsing's opinion on one aspect of it. With a gasp of horror he realized he had wandered off in the middle of the conversation without so much as a word. Wincing, he quickly hurried out of the lab and went to find Van Helsing.
Van Helsing was sitting on the bed with the laptop on his legs. As Carl had said, he was able to connect and he was reading through reports of monster activity that was happening in his part of the country. Nothing that gave him any clues as to how the gargoyles got here but it was still good to be aware of what could potentially be called in as reinforcements. He was scanning the reports when he heard a knock.
He looked up and saw Carl standing in the doorway, an embarrassed and uncomfortable look on his face. Van Helsing quirked and eyebrow and said "What did you do this time? Let me guess, you made a "small" improvement to the crossbow?" Given it some added accessories?"
Carl looked confused for a moment and said "No. What kind of accessories would a crossbow have?"
Van Helsing merely shrugged. "How should I know? You're the mad genius here. So if it isn't the crossbow then what is it? You look like you are ready to break and run at a moment's notice."
Carl squirmed a bit then said, "I'm really sorry. I completely checked out on you back there. We were talking and I got distracted and well… " Carl ducked his head in embarrassment and fidgeted even more. "I'm really sorry about that and I promise not to do it again." He stared down at the floor looking like a little boy who had broken his mom's favorite vase.
Van Helsing almost laughed at Carl's squirming and fidgeting until he realized that Carl was serious; that he thought that he was angry with him. Putting the laptop aside he said "Carl, there's no reason to apologize. I expect that to happen with you sometimes. You're a geek. It's what geeks do. "
Carl looked up but still didn't look very happy. "But I shouldn't do it. It's not right and I know it's aggravating. I get lectured a lot about it and I'm usually better then this. It's just that we get talking and then I realize something else that we could really use for the partnership and then I'm off again. Only I shouldn't because it's rude and so I should really pay more attention…" Carl trailed off when he realized he was rambling.
Van Helsing listened to Carl go on and when he finally ran out of breath said "Carl, just stop. I really don't care that you get distracted sometimes. If we're talking about something important, you can be quite certain that I will bring you back – forcibly if necessary." He said the last part with a predatory grin that had Carl gulping nervously. Seeing that the last bit had the desired effect, he continued on. "Look, I'm not exactly a Miss Manners kind of guy and I really don't care how polite people do things. Since it's just you and me here, we can play things any way we chose. So stop worrying about geeking out. Especially since its why you are on the team in the first place."
Carl looked nonplused at this. He couldn't believe that Van Helsing was saying that he didn't care about Carl's space outs. Everyone always got annoyed when he got distracted. Most of his relationships ended over his tendency to get distracted or caught up in things to the point of forgetting that someone else was around. Even Jason had gotten exasperated to the point of yelling on a more then a few occasions and this from someone who was considered a geek as well. This just didn't seem possible.
Van Helsing had picked up his laptop intending to go back to reading reports but hesitated when he saw that Carl was still standing there with a confused look on his face. He sighed and set the laptop aside again. "Carl" he said to get the man's attention. When Carl was looking at him he continued on. "Is there something else?" He knew that there wasn't but needed to give Carl a non-threatening opening
Carl blushed and shook his head. He started to turn away and then said "Well… actually…" He looked away for a moment to gather his thoughts and Van Helsing had to look down to hide his smile. In some ways, Carl was a remarkably simple person.
Carl turned his head back towards Van Helsing and asked, "How can you say you don't mind when I get distracted? I mean, I know you said that if it was important that you'd… well, get my attention, but doesn't it annoy you when I check out on you?" Carl's blue eyes were boring into Van Helsing's, looking for signs of the usual annoyance but found nothing more then amusement.
Van Helsing just shrugged and said, "It just doesn't." When Carl looked vaguely exasperated at the answer, Van Helsing just sighed and said "Look, Carl. Maybe other people have found it annoying but it just doesn't bother me. It's just something you do. Frankly I find your naivety more of a problem then the distractedness. At least the distractedness produces useful results.
Carl blushed bright red and stammered, "I am NOT naïve. Just because I wasn't expecting to get hit on in a furniture story doesn't make me naïve. And I would have handled it myself if you had given me a moment"
Van Helsing snorted and said, "Right. If I had left you to handle it, the guy would have been coping a feel while you laid there like an sacrificial virgin." Van Helsing could feel his aggravation returning as he remembered the whole incident.
Carl bristled immediately at the Van Helsing's remark. "I was not laying there like a sacrificial virgin. For starters, I'm hardly a virgin. And secondly, I was trying to deal with the whole situation subtly, a concept that I'm convinced you are completely unfamiliar with."
Unfortunately for Carl, he hit a rather sore spot for Van Helsing. Jinette was always on his case about his inability to keep his work covert. Van Helsing felt his temper flare and decided that he had really had enough for one day. He got up from the bed like a panther on the prowl and stalked across the room towards Carl.
Carl saw the set look on Van Helsing's face and swallowed hard. Suddenly his own anger towards Van Helsing evaporated and he scrambled to think of something placating to say. It was all he could do not to turn tail and run.
Van Helsing moved so he was directly in front of Carl and in a deceptively quiet voice said, "So, I'm lacking in subtlety am I? So perhaps you would care to show me exactly how you would have handled the situation?" He loomed over Carl who was looking up at him like a mouse who had been cornered by a cat.
Carl looked into the angry face and found his mind wiped completely blank. He couldn't think of a single defense in the face of Van Helsing's barely contained anger. All he could think to do was turn and run – a move that would likely only make the Hunter more furious. So he just stood there with his heart racing and his mouth dry.
Van Helsing could feel the anger burning a hole in his gut. Voices lecturing him about his failures swirled about in his head and fanned the flames of his temper. And Carl's silence only seemed to add fuel. He leaned closer to Carl and growled, "Well, come on. Show me what subtle looks like."
Carl let out a strangled meep and tried to back up. Unfortunately he backed into the doorframe. Van Helsing merely stepped forward so that Carl was trapped and snapped, "Well, I'm waiting."
"I… " Carl stammered out, his mind suddenly racing as Van Helsing continued to press him back into the doorframe. His eyes were wide and pleading as he stared up at Van Helsing. He didn't like this. Didn't like the sudden switch from friendly to anger. He closed his eyes for a moment, hoping that blocking out the angry face would help him gather his thoughts.
Van Helsing leaned his forearm against the doorway so that he was leaning in near Carl's ear. His lips twisted into an ugly sneer as he whispered, "What's the matter? I thought you said you could handle it?" He deliberately blew across Carl's ear and neck and was rewarded with a shuddering gasp.
Carl shuddered as Van Helsing's breath ghosted across his skin. It was both arousing and disturbing and left him feeling sick. Before it went any further, he knew he had to speak up. Swallowing hard he stammered out "Please let me go." His voice was weak and slightly desperate sounding but it was the best he could do.
Van Helsing pulled back with a sneer and then froze when he saw the fear and pleading in Carl's face. The anger drained away leaving a sickening pit in his stomach. He released Carl immediately and moved quickly to stand with his back to Carl. His head was bowed and his breathing was panting and harsh.
Carl closed his eyes, grateful to be free. He leaned against the doorframe feeling limp and drained. What the hell had just happened?
Van Helsing was silently berating himself for what he had just done. Not two hours ago he had promised to look after Carl and here he was preying on him just like that piece of scum from the store. And the look on Carl's face… He had to swallow hard as his stomach churned. Carl had been afraid of him. Had been afraid of what he would do to him. He wanted to pound his fist into the wall. Make himself hurt to block out the turmoil that swirled and mocked him. Carl was afraid of him. The first person to ever really trust him and he had thrown it all away. Had gotten angry and trashed it all. No surprise there said a mocking voice in his head. You are a street rat and street rats don't know anything but how to be destructive.
He shook his head, trying to shut the voice up but it just continued on. You've shown Carl your true colors. He fears you now. He doesn't trust you anymore. He'll be asking you to leave. Sending you back out on the street. All alone again. Just like you deserve. Van Helsing sagged lower on the dresser as the voice lashed into him. The nausea threatened to chock him.
Carl opened his eyes and saw Van Helsing standing with his back him on the far side of the room. He could hear his labored breathing and saw the way Van Helsing was drawing in on himself as if steeling himself for a blow. All signs of the anger that had burned so harshly was gone, replaced by a kind of despair that confused Carl. What the hell was going on?
Carl knew that the wise thing to do would be to leave the room before something else happened. Van Helsing had scared him a moment ago with his sudden burst of anger. For a minute there, Carl hadn't know what Van Helsing would do. Hadn't known if Van Helsing would release him. But he did release you came a soft voice in his head and Carl gave a quiet, shuddering sigh as he acknowledged that truth and released the tension that had held his body rigid. In the end, Van Helsing had let him go. He hadn't hurt him.
He looked again at the huddled figure across the room and knew that he couldn't leave Van Helsing like this. Now that the fear had left him, he could see that Van Helsing was suffering far more then he had. He didn't understand what had happened but he realized that he really wanted to. He didn't want this to destroy the growing bond between them. He wanted to fix this.
With that resolve in mind, he walked slowly and carefully over to the Hunter. Knowing better then to startle the man, he stopped just out of reach and called the man softly.
Van Helsing heard Carl saying his name and was stunned to realize he was standing right behind him. He slowly lifted his head and took a deep breath. Time to face the music. He squared his shoulders and then turned. He braced himself for the rejection he knew was to come. And this time, he couldn't argue. He had earned this by taking his anger out on Carl.
Carl could see the rigid lines of Van Helsing's body and the carefully neutral face of someone who is expecting the worst. The thought was surprisingly painful. Van Helsing was expecting Carl to strike back at him. It was like all the camaraderie that had developed between them had shattered in the wake of one angry outburst. The trust was gone like smoke on the wind.
Carl shook his head. No, he didn't want this. While Van Helsing may have scared him, he did not hurt him. In all of their interactions, he had never actually harmed him. Rattled him, yes but he always backed off before he crossed over the line. Moreover, he had shown actual care for him. OK, the tossing him over the shoulder to get him out of the lab was a bit extreme and he could have done without being dragged out of the store but the reasons for those actions were good ones. He was acting as a friend and Carl wasn't ready to let go of that. There had to be some way to fix this.
Taking a deep breath to steady him, he looked Van Helsing directly in the eye and said, "So what just happened here? I will admit that I started all of this by overreacting to your sacrificial virgin comment but things escalated pretty quickly. I don't understand what happened." He kept his voice calm and his body language relaxed. He didn't want to set anything off again.
Van Helsing looked at Carl in shock and confusion. Of all the things he had expected Carl to say, this was not one of them. He thought Carl would be upset or angry but instead he seemed... well, calm. He wasn't sure how to react. Why would Carl even want to talk about things? He had crossed the line and there was no going back from that. Why didn't Carl just tell him to leave and get it over with? He was bewildered and didn't know what he was supposed to do. He looked to Carl for clues but Carl was merely standing there waiting. He realized that Carl was expecting an answer to his question.
He looked down for a moment and then said, "I don't know what to say. I crossed the line. There's no excuse for it. I'll be out of here in if you give me a couple of minutes." He started to move away towards the closet where his bags were stored.
Carl was stunned. He hadn't expected such a harsh answer to his question. Nor did he expect Van Helsing to offer to leave. That was definitely not the response he was looking for. He moved quickly to grab Van Helsing's arm. "Wait. There's no need for you to leave. I just want to understand what happened."
Van Helsing turned to Carl and while he was trying to maintain his usual cool mask, the cracks were clearly showing. He was upset but it was clearly directed inward. "Carl, you don't have to do this. I went too far, I know that. I'll just gather up my stuff and leave." He tried to move away but Carl still had a grip on his arm.
Carl felt a stab of pain at Van Helsing's willingness to call it quits but wasn't ready to give up just yet. "Will you just STOP for a moment?" He matched his actions to his words by pulling Van Helsing up short. "There is no need for you to leave. Ok, things got a little out of hand there but no one crossed the line. YOU didn't cross the line." Van Helsing started to protest but Carl cut him off. "No, you didn't. When it came right down to it, the minute I asked you to stop, you did. That means that you didn't cross the line. As for the fight itself, these things happen. Friends fight. Its just part of the package. What's important is figuring out why it happened so we don't have to do it again." Carl was looking directly into Van Helsing's eyes as he tried to get the stubborn man to really hear what he was staying.
Van Helsing looked at Carl and felt like someone had ripped the ground out from under him. Far from ending the whole thing, Carl was trying to fix it. It didn't make sense. This was not how things work.
Carl watched the emotions chase across Van Helsing's face and realized more was going on then just a simple burst of anger. Van Helsing seemed to be unable to accept that Carl had no intentions of throwing him out. God, is this the way things went for the Hunter? Carl had known he was a loner but he had thought it was more by inclination then necessity. But for him to react like this?
More then ever, Carl wanted to work this out. If for no other reason then to show Van Helsing that not everyone walks away. He sighed and made another attempt. "Look, how about we sit down and talk about this? " He tried to gently tug Van Helsing towards the bed as he spoke.
Van Helsing felt Carl attempting to move him and resisted. "Carl, why are you doing this?" He tried to make his voice sound calm and even but it came out sounding rather needy and lost. He shook his head and tried to pull loose.
Carl tightened his grip and said, "Because you are my friend and I don't give up on my friends just because of a misunderstanding. What ever this is about, we'll work it out. Nothing's happened that is irreparable. I mean that." He tugged again at Van Helsing's arm and this time the man let himself be lead over to the bed.
Carl pushed Van Helsing down and then sat next to him. "OK, so let's start with why you were so convinced that you had to leave. Its not like this is the first time you've gotten angry with me. You were pretty cranked that time I took your tojos without asking but you didn't think you had to leave then."
Van Helsing shrugged and said, "Actually, I thought I was going to be leaving after that. You said you'd put me up for the night to make sure I didn't bleed to death and then you'd send me home. I never thought you'd tell me to stick around until I got better." He still wasn't looking at Carl but instead stared off to the side.
Carl paused for a moment in surprise. He hadn't really thought about that when he used the tojo incident as an example. "Ok, bad example." He ran his mind over the events of the last couple of days and just sighed. "God, we've really had quite a roller coaster over the last couple of days, haven't we? I guess its not too surprising that you aren't all that convinced to stick around. But I would like you to. I'd like us to stay friends, stay partners. As wild and crazy as everything has been, I like being around you. You don't seem to mind my more annoying traits and believe me, that is a rare thing indeed. " He sighed when Van Helsing still didn't make eye contact.
Van Helsing was torn between conflicting desires. When he had thought he had blown everything it was easy. He would regret what he had lost but he would be back in familiar territory. All alone and back on the streets. But Carl didn't follow the game plan and suddenly he was lost without a map. He wasn't use to people giving him a second chance. Hell, half the time they didn't give him the first one. But Carl was serious and it scared the hell out of him. If he stayed, then he had no more excuses, no more escape hatches.
He shifted uncomfortably on the bed as his emotions continued to swirl. If he stayed then they would spend more time together. He'd get use to having someone around and being supported. He'd end up letting his guard down and then it would happen. Carl would realize that Van Helsing just wasn't worth his time. He had been down this road before and he just couldn't go down it again. Better to leave now while it wouldn't hurt so much.
But it already hurts came a voice in his head. He tried to deny it but it was pointless. The fact was it did hurt. While he hadn't intended for it to happen, he had come to value Carl's generous offers of friendship and trust. It was precious to him and he really didn't want to lose it. But what did he have to offer in return?
He sighed and said, "I'm no good at this stuff. I'm use to being on my own. I'll only end up ticking you off. Believe me, I've done it to everyone else." He looked at Carl for the first time, a resigned look on his face.
Carl just tilted his head and responded, "What, you think my track record is any better? There's a reason I live here alone and don't work in an office. " Van Helsing just shook his head in disagreement and Carl hurried on before he began to protest again. "Look, I see it like this. With all that has happened in the past couple of days, the fact that we are still under the same roof says a lot. OK, so we still have a few kinks to work out but it's only been a couple of days. I'd say we are doing remarkable well under the circumstances. " He turned so he was facing towards Van Helsing. "I know you are not use to having someone around but give it a chance. I think you'll find it's not so bad." Carl gave a tentative smile as he waited for Van Helsing's response.
Van Helsing sighed and said "Its already not so bad. That's part of the problem. I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop." When he saw Carl's frown he said, "I'm not like you, Carl. I've lived most of my life looking out for myself. I've learned not to count on things sticking around." He shrugged as if to say it was no big deal and looked away.
Carl felt a pang of sympathy for the dark haired man. No wonder he was convinced that Carl was going to throw him out. "Well, you can count on me sticking around. And for the record, you are not as bad as you think. A bit sarcastic but that's not such a terrible thing." He smiled a bit more confidently, feeling like they were finally making some headway.
The two men sat in silence for a while and then Van Helsing said quietly "I'm sorry for what happened earlier. You caught me on a weak spot and I took it out on you. I won't let that happen again."
Carl cocked his head and said "Its ok. I know you won't. But what exactly did I do to set you off? I still don't quite understand what happened."
Van Helsing hunched his shoulders; hating the feeling of being vulnerable but knowing that he owed Carl an explanation. He stared at the door of the bathroom so he didn't have to look at Carl and said, "You said I lack subtlety. One of the things that The Order is always on my case about is the fact that I don't seem to be able to keep my work from being seen. The Order is all about obscurity and working behind the scenes but somehow my missions tend to get messy and they hate that. If it weren't for the fact I get results, they would have gotten rid of me ages ago. But that doesn't stop them from resenting me for the attention I bring them. "
Carl winced as he realized how unfortunate a choice he made in his own little temper fit. Well, time for an apology of his own. "I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have made that crack. I was pretty embarrassed about how the whole thing went with Mike and all and I snapped at you. It was pretty childish really and a dumb thing to lose my temper over. It's just that I feel so stupid about the whole thing."
Van Helsing finally turned towards Carl and said, "Don't feel stupid. You weren't expecting to get hit on while buying furniture." He looked away for a moment and then said, "I guess we both have our sensitive spots." He let out a soft huff of breath and shaking his head turned to Carl and said, "How about we call a truce? You don't rag on me about not being subtle and I'll leave you alone about Mike the Sleazebag."
A genuine smile lit Carl's face as he said "Deal." Holding out his hand he asked "Friends and partners?"
Van Helsing looked at the outstretched hand and the warm smile on Carl's face and felt a momentary sense of apprehension. If he agreed to this, there was no going back. Could he risk it?
He looked at Carl's friendly face and realized that he really didn't have a choice anymore. It was far too late to worry about getting hurt. He nodded and took Carl's hand.
"Friends and partners" he said.
Page 12