The Dumb Adventures of Conner Mcknight
Chapter 3
Saving Private Trent: Part 1
My car. It was destroyed. The whole entire windows were smashed in and the wheel was half off. It was covered in graffiti and all that other garbage. Why did I deserve such a fate? Why did my car deserve such a fate? I grew frustrated and smashed my foot right into the side of the car. Of course, without realizing it, the tire popped out and rolled right off, hitting some old lady. I would have laughed if it wasn't my car that was trashed. I would have laughed if it wasn't my grandmother that I just hit with the tire.

Wait.. Grandma? Oh crap. Look away, Conner. "What are you going to do, Conner?" Kira's voice rang with concern. I turned my attention to her and just shook my head.

"I have no idea." I honestly didn't. Probably smash someone's face in the concrete in anger. "Guess we have to get it towed to a nearby mechanic."

"It's not savable." Ethan pointed out. I muttered. Shut up know-it-all. I'm aware of that, I'm defiantly not that retarded. Am I? So, to make a long story short, I pulled out my cell phone and called a tow truck. We waited in the parking lot for hours until finally the truck came. Even Trent swung by with his own car to give us a lift on over. We rode in his four door piece of crap as I watched all the pretty trees fly by. I wish I was on drugs. Er.. Excuse me. Random thought just interjected with the story.

Trent looked at his rear mirror to get a good look at me. "So, you going to figure out who did this?"

"Yeah." I responded lightly, "Then Im going to burn there house." Did I just say that out loud. Kira gave me a bizarre look. Shoot, I was completely out of character. I forgot, this is supposed PG-13. Wait PG-13 have boobies in it. Why can't they have violence? Anyway, back to the story, the five of us finally made it to the Mechanic Shop which was pretty much in the middle of nowhere. The mechanic guy came up to us, he was kind of scary actually, he stroked his mustache and grinned at Kira. "It'll be awhile before we can figure out the total cost. Why don't you folks stick around.

"Okay." Trent nodded and climbed out of his car, "I have to use the bathroom." I bet you do. "I'll be right back." I bet you will. I climbed out of the back seat with everyone else and we all just wondered around the shop. Kira walked inside and began talking to some of the folks while Ethan looked to see if he could find a phone jack to look up porn on his computer. Yeah, that's right. He rarely plays games on his computer, I've proven that theory. Its just countless porn he downloads. That dirty bastard.

"Do you think they have a phone jack?" Ethan turned to me and asked innocently. "I want to download the next level in this really cool game. Its like a bonus level."

"Ethan." I turned my attention to him, "Why don't you actually go find a chick and get laid."

"I could say the same too you." Ethan snickered in response. ""Believe it or not. You aren't that slick either." But I have Kir- "And don't bother saying you have Kira. Getting your butt raped by a woman doesn't count as sex." Ouch. When did Ethan suddenly get so vicious? "She's going out with Trent anyhow. Remember?"

"Oh yeah." I just complied. "I'm going to go inside and see what she is doing." I had to stay away from Ethan. I think he needed excuse to murder me but I wasn't going to stick around to find out. I walked in the shop and found Kira flirting with a few of the mechanics. That slut. I smiled and went over to her. "Sorry about the situation."

"It's fine." She leaned against the counter, "Got nothing better to do."

"True." I responded realizing what she said was right. Even before I became a ranger, I didn't do much. Just the simple, soccer, school, and trying to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop. I never really found out actually.

"Is Trent still in the bathroom?" Kira looked around, "He's taking awhile. I hope he didn't get lost."

How do you get lost in a auto shop? Wait, I bet you can. I looked around to see if he was anywhere and figured he was still in the bathroom. "I'll go find out." I walked back out the door and around the building. The bathroom was on the other side. I saw Trent walking out and turning to close the door slowly. "Hey!" I called out.

He spun around, and I stopped to arch my brows. He had white stuff smeared all over his upper lips. He quickly licked it off. Oh god, it can't be. No, he didn't. Then suddenly a woman with really nice jugs, came out with a large picture of milk. "Would you like some more milk, sweetie?" She asked.

Thank god. I sighed with relief. "No thank you. It was really good though." Trent responded before turning to me, "Did you know they serve milk in the bathrooms?"

"That's sweet." I smirked, "Kira was looking for you. Thought I see if everything was all right."

He nodded, "Oh thanks man." He left with haste and the women with the milk walked back into the bathroom. Hmm. Do I need to piss? Ah what the hell. I could use some milk. After a half hour, I finally exit the bathroom with the pitcher of milk in my hand. I slowly walked to the front and heard a screeching tire wheels blast out from the parking lot. Kira and Ethan shot out of the building.

"Conner!" Kira screamed, "They just took Trent?"

"Really?" I said in amusement, "Let's go save him or something." I was hoping to save him in this chapter so we wasted no time. I wasn't about to let Trent get push into a two part chapter. He wasn't that cool of a character. "Who were these people that kidnaped him?"

"Some cult called the Sprial Saber. They thought he was someone else and took him. One of the guys dropped this." Ethan showed him a match book. It had Wausau Bar on it. Whatever a Wausau was, it was a place we had to go to.

My car wouldn't be ready so we took Trent's. Luckily I stole his car keys without him noticing before. We hopped in and sped out of the Auto Shop and went flying down the road. We travled for 4 days and 4 nights before we finally found the Wausau Bar. "Okay." I spoke up, the night was dark and we found ourselves in the desert with rows and rows of bikes.

"Don't you think we are out of place." Kira glanced around, "I don't want to get raped."

"We need to blend in." I responded. With a flash, I snapped my fingers and with movie magic and camera effects, I was dressed in a leather jacket, my hair slicked back and sunglasses. I had cool biker boots and a red shirt. I looked at Kira and Ethan. They needed a change too. So I snapped my finger once more and they changed instantly. Ethan too had a leather jacket, blue shirt, and boots. He also had one of those biker hats. Kira on the other hand, somehow ended with a smaller skirt and a tighter shirt. Which was okay really, because 99.9 of the viewers think of sex at one point of the day so it should up the ratings.

The three of us bursted into the bar with weapons of sorts. I pulled out my shotgun and blasted the nearby punk biker while Kira jumped on a table and pulled some knives from underneath her skirt and killed a few more. Even Ethan, the most geekiest gamer, pulled out two automatic pistols and began firing away. We slaughtered them.. We killed each and everyone one of them...er wait none of this actually happened. This is what really happened.

The three of us bursted in the bar. Kira, using her sexual energy, ran her hands through her hair and screamed at the top of her lungs. Men keeled over from her total hotness. Men fell to their knees and listened to her every command. Kira then walked around to each one of them and twisted their necks..wait that didn't happen either.

Okay the real truth. The three of us bursted into the bar. Then out of nowhere, a biker guy slugged me across the face and hit a nearby table. You see, the truth isn't as fun as it should be. I stood up from the blow and Kira stepped in and smashed her fist across the guys face. Anyway, to continue the story, we made our way to the bartender and I slammed my fist on the counter.

"I'm looking for someone." I said in the most badass way. The bartender just looked at me. "The group calls them self Spiral Saber."

"Who's asking?" He leaned on the counter.

I leaned even father, "I'm asking."

"They're over there." He pointed, "Would you like a drink?"

"Yes." I kept my cool, "I would like Rum Coke. Hold the Rum." I snarled. He poured me the drink as I watched from the counter the bastard groups laughing in the corner. Trent was no where to be seen. We were running out of time. I turned my attention to Kira.

"You have to go over there." I suggested, "You are the only good distraction we have."

Kira sighed, "Are you sure? Why can't we kick there asses?"

"We must keep order."

"Use the force Luke!" Ethan randomly commented. He had opened up his laptop and started playing video gtames. I turned to him, pulling my shades off and placing them in my jacket.

"Shut up Ethan." I snarled, pulling the laptop away and closing it. "We are on a mission."

Kira finally agreed and she made her way over. I watched closely, stroking my chin and taking a sip of my coke. She made her way over, greeting them with a smile, sitting right next to the boss himself. That's right, Kira. Work your magic. Show some of that leg. The men laughed. They better laugh. Cause they have no idea what is going to happen to them.

Pretty soon, we will spring our trap and save our friend. But first.. I must finish this coke..

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End Part 1