Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I also don't own Dr. Phil, CBS, NBC, or any of their affiliates.

Chapter III: Getting Rid of the Problem

"Alright Palpatine are you ready to join us again?" Dr. Phil asked at the next therapy session. Palpatine didn't answer. "The producer of the today show however fired you because you…attacked Al Roker."

"Hey Hey Hey, he was asking for it all week." Palpatine said defensively.

"What did he do?"

"He was reading off old peoples birthday's and put me in there and said my age was too old to count."

"Right well sit down." Phil said walking to his podium. "Okay this is how it's goin' down I need more money to bribe CBS to keep my show on the air cause' it's so boring. So now I made NBC make our sessions into a reality show."

"What happened to all your money on CBS?" Count Dooku asked.

"I had to use it to bribe NBC to give me the show we're going to do." Phil said nodding his head. "Now at the end of each show someone will be voted off the show."

"Well then how does that help us if we don't finish our thereapy?" Darth Malik asked.

"Don't you remember I said it in the last chapter I don't care about you I care about me." Phil said with a smile. "Wait nevermind we've been cancelled."

"How can we have been cancelled we haven't even started yet?"

"They cancelled us to make room for a new show…something about keeping Paris Hilton in a barrel with a Barbara Streisand for a week to see which annoying person eats the other first. So anyway on to step two. We need to change the fact that you have a problem. We have several issues we need to deal with I'm going to work with each of you one–on-one with these problems mmk. First we will start with Palpatine."

"Grrr…..I don't have a problem…" Palpatine mumbled under his breath.

"Mmk, so it looks like you have some pent up frustration right now….so we will work with it." Phil said, Palpatine merely grumbled. "Now where did I put my feel better tool?" Phil asked walking behind Palpy. "Ah, here it is."

"What is it?" Palpatine said turning around. We he turned he was met with a blow to the face. "AHH! Son of a…OW" He was met with yet another blow to the head.

"Are we feeling better yet?"

"NO YOU FAT BAST-OW!" Another blow to the head.

"Feeling better now?"

"NO You little…"

"Nope…" Dr. Phil slammed the stick into Palpatine a few more times as the other Sith lords looked on in dismay. Finally Palpatine fell unconscious. "Okay then….as you can see Palpatine is feeling better. He is now in a deep meditative state and is not responding any longer."

"No I'm pretty sure you knocked him ou…" Phil slapped the complaing sSith lorf in the head with the stick.

"BLASPHEMY!"

A/N: Yes it was a really short chap…but aren't they all. I have left the fic sit for so long so I decided to update quickly I should have a longer chap up later.