Chapter 2
Broken Dreams
The sun slowly peaked over the horizon chasing away the dreams of the sleeping. The dew clung to the earth as night changes into day. A new day brings new begging's but for some they would rather stay within the safety of sleep. Kaoru was one such person. It was with great reluctance that she swam back into the world of consciousness. She hesitated for a moment in the state between sleep and wakefulness. She knew she wasn't going to like what she found but her groggy sleep filled mind couldn't remember why. The first thing she noticed upon waking was the over whelming soreness in her lower body and the sharp pain that plagued her entire being. She struggled to sit up in bed only to realize that what she had assumed was her soft futon was actually nothing more than the soft snow, and it was cold. Shivering slightly she took in her surroundings, she was in the middle of a clearing in the woods laying on the soft snow stained red with her blood. Then she remembered. She remembered with uncensored clarity what that man had done to her. She couldn't help but wish she were dead. Death was preferable to the humiliation and the pain she felt. She was an unclean woman now; they had committed the ultimate sin against her person. For a long moment she sat propped up by her hands staring at her blue tinged battered body, watching her breath slowly materialized in the cold-fringed air to dissipate a second later. She sat and let the truth of the horror sink in. She had been raped and severely tortured. She wondered fleetingly what day it was and how long she had been unconscious. Was it only the next morning? Had she been out longer? Days even? Slowly she stood up wobbling as her feet tried to remember their purpose. Life was truly cruel to her.
It was midday before she made it back to her dojo. It was slow going do to her injuries and the need to stay off of the main road so as to keep her naked body from prying eyes. Once within her home she collapsed into a heap on the floor and let her body cry out its grievances towards the injustice inflicted upon her.
"Why mother, why!" Kaoru screamed with the pain in her soul, "Why did they do this? Why must I be the one to bear this? Why me? Why mother, why am I left here alone to face this?" She sobbed and pounded the floor in pain. It was an ugly hatred that consumed her. A hatred for the man who did this, for her mother who gave her birth only to have her face hell, for herself because she couldn't do anything about it and for Kenshin because he wasn't there to save her to comfort her.
It was hours later that she dragged her body into her bed. Tired from crying and tired from her struggle to get home. She was cold. Her body was cold from being exposed to the elements and her heart was cold from being exposed to so much cruelty. She slept through that evening and into the next day. Only rousing to relieve herself and drink a little water. It was the next evening before she finally got up to attend her wounds and bathe her body. She sat for a long time in the heated bath tracing the wounds she could see and remembering how they had come to be. The burn marks from the heated blade they had ran across her stomach that both cut and burned her once delicate skin. The puncture wounds in her arms and legs where arrows had been shoved through her soft skin. And the ripped flesh from being dragged by a horse across the ground. He had done all of it as his men had just sat back and watched laughing. They enjoyed her pain.
Once clean and mended she downed her emotionless mask and sat late into the night on her porch. Kaoru the once fiery woman was now truly a broken doll.
The next two weeks past without any grand events, her healing body had made it to the market and back twice. She had stopped once to speak with Tae but didn't linger for fear of tarnishing her reputation. Tae was very concerned for her. She was the only friend Kaoru had left but Kaoru wouldn't let her get involved and Tae didn't know how to help other than to offer her sympathy.
It was after the second week that Kaoru knew there was something wrong. Her monthly cycle that was always on time was for once a week late. She was never late, her cycle was like clock work. Sheer panic gripped her being when she finally realized the conclusion it brought her to. She was pregnant, pregnant with the spawn of the devil. It was the salt on the already open wound. Not only was she to face rape by the awful man but also now she was to give birth to his child. Unbridled furry consumed her being and she lashed out destroying the majority of her sparse furniture. The air was filled with her pained screams of anger. Insanity consumed her, her eyes wild and unseeing. Her tirade of destruction brought her into the Dojo itself. She stood for long moments staring at the plaque on the wall designating her as the assistant master. Memories of the proud girl she once was filled her. Memories of happier times with her father and with her adopted family consumed her. She used to smile. She used to be happy. An image of a man with hair like fire and gentle smile swam into her mind evoking dormant feelings. Quickly snatching the plaque off the wall she rushed back into her room where she filled a small bag with her belongings. She knew they would find her but she didn't care. All that was important was that she got away from this place, away from the painful memories. She would go to Kyoto and see if Megumi could help her. Megumi was a doctor she might be able to help her get rid of the unwanted child. There was nothing left for her here. She would go to Kyoto and then wander tell she was killed, death would be a release that she craved.
Standing outside her home she set a torch a flame and stood staring at her home. It was dark out and the cold bit at her skin. The winter chill could not compare to the frozen state of her heart and soul. "I'm sorry daddy, I failed you. Please don't hate me." She whispered into the breeze. With one chocked sob she threw the torch into her home and then watched for a moment as the house quickly spread into flames. The house glowed with the light of the fire signaling the finality of her decision. She could never go back.