Disclaimer: I own none of these people.

Author's note: This was started several weeks ago, so the continuity is a littl off from where the show is now.

She suddenly understood all those evangelicals who used to stand on the boardwalk and rail against the evils of gambling and booze. Booze was definitely evil. Even in the dim light of the hotel corridor she had to shield her eyes against the brightness; her head felt as though it was about to collapse under its own weight. Her legs felt like lead and the only thing that kept her shuffling along was the imperative that she not be seen. She checked her watch; almost 4 a.m. She should be able to make it through the lobby to safety; Roxy was never up by four.

"Walk of shame?"

Shit!

Unfortunately, he never went to bed by four.

"Rex!" she said turning around and trying to look nonchalant. "What are you doing here?"

"Looking for coffee," he said, raising a paper cup.

"They have coffee at this hour?" Natalie asked, thinking that coffee could definitely help right now.

"Well, Roxy never remembers to shut off the coffee pot, so there's coffee behind the desk at any hour. Not good coffee, but at 4am do you really care?"

"And you really find it easier to come here than make your own coffee?" she asked, taking the cup from his hand without asking.

"Shannon threw my coffee pot at the wall one time when we had a fight. Well, actually, she threw it at my head, but it hit the wall. Long story. Anyway, I never bothered to get a new one," he said jumping back over the desk and pouring himself a new cup. "So what are you doing here? Or is who the more pertinent question?"

"It's not what you think," she said.

"So you're not sneaking out of McBain's room?"

"You really don't want to talk to me until I've had more of this," she said taking a gulp of her coffee. It definitely wasn't good coffee. It was quite possibly the worst coffee she'd ever had, but it was better than nothing.

"Judging by the look of your clothes and hair you were doing a lot more than talking upstairs," he said with a wink.

She groaned. "Please Rex; I don't want to talk about it." She tried to stagger towards the door.

"Natty!" he said jumping in front of her, "What's up with you? You should be celebrating! You did it! You went after Johnny McBain and you got him," he held out his hand, waiting for her to high five him. Instead she pushed past him and continued towards the door. Her legs wobbled underneath her and she caught herself against the wall. "Are you hung over or still drunk?" Rex asked her, a faint hint of concern entering his voice.

"Both, I think," she said resting her head against her hand, "is that even possible?"

"Depends," he said, with obvious expertise, "how much you drink?"

"Just a couple of beers," she said.

"A couple meaning…?"

"Four or five."

"That's not that bad-" he began.

"And about half a bottle of tequila," she added.

"Okay, that's-"

"And some scotch, I think…"

"Natalie?" a new voice asked from the front door of the hotel. No, no, no. Not him. Anyone but him. Rex gave her a confused look.

"Hi John," she said without looking at him.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Coffee," she said, raising the paper cup in her hands. Rex, his back turned to John, gave her a look somewhere between shock and amusement. "You're out late; work?"

"Yeah," he said, "Just looking through some files. I-" Seeing Natalie trying to stand up straight without wobbling he seemed to suddenly remember the strange time and place of their conversation. "Is everything okay?" he asked, walking closer.

Damn it, of all nights when she wanted him concerned about her this was not the one.

"I'm fine," she said, "I just…" Just what? Got drunk and did something really stupid.

"She just had a little too much to drink," Rex jumped in.

John didn't seem entirely satisfied with this explanation, but he seemed to believe it. "You gonna be okay to get home?" he asked, trying to make eye contact with her. John could be an insensitive jerk sometimes, and the one night that she deserved him to be he was back to Mr. Sweet and Protective.

She nodded, avoiding his eyes. They were cop's eyes, used to looking for clues, used to looking for any change in a suspect's demeanor that would give away what they were hiding. If he looked into her eyes, he would know.

"Yeah, I'll make sure she gets there in one piece," Rex said, putting an arm around her. She tottered from the weight of it and fell against him.

"Well, take care of her," John said, patting her on the shoulder as he walked by and went upstairs.

Rex restrained himself until John was safely out of earshot and then burst out laughing. "Oh my GOD!"

"It isn't funny," she grumbled.

"So you weren't in Johnny boy's room, I take it."

"No, I wasn't," she said walking to the door, "Now can we just go."

Rex practically bounced alongside her. Where, oh where did he get that kind of energy this late… early… whatever it was? "So whose room were you in?" he asked.

"I really don't want to talk about it," she said, still walking. "Where's your car, anyway?"

"Back at Ultra Violet." She groaned at the idea of the long walk. "Which gives you plenty of time to fess up."

"Not likely," she insisted.

"Okay, well at least tell me if it's someone we know?

"You think I would go home with a stranger?" she asked, strangely offended by the insinuation.

"I didn't think you'd go home with anyone but McBain, so-" he cut himself off suddenly. "Oh my GOD!"

"What?" she asked, hoping he hadn't just figured out the answer.

"You were in McBain's room!"

"You saw him come in the front door, how would we have managed that?

"I saw John come in the front, but there's another McBain living here."

"You should really use your powers of deduction for good instead of evil," she said.

"You were, weren't you?" he continued, "You must have been drunk?"

"I need a shower," Natalie moaned, stumbling over a crack in the sidewalk.

She managed the remaining blocks with remarkable speed considering her condition. Rex waited until they were inside his car to question her further.

"So you wanna tell me what happened?" he asked as they pulled out of the parking lot.

"I thought you'd pretty much figured that out," Natalie mumbled leaning her head against the passenger side window.

"Well, yes, but I doubt you just woke up this morning and decided to sleep with the wrong McBain, so how did this all come about?"

Natalie shrugged, "I got really, really drunk."

"That much is obvious," her brother said, "but there's always a reason when you take these little self-destructive turns."

"This is self-destructive, isn't it," she whimpered.

"Not especially," Rex sighed, "you have made much better attempts at destroying yourself than this. But what happened that made you run out and get smashed?"

Natalie took a deep breath, knowing she was gong to sound a bit ridiculous, "Evangeline came by the station today."

"Okay." Clearly Rex did not understand that that woman could drive anyone to drink.

"She was looking for John and he wasn't there"

"And?" Rex asked waiting for the point of the story to arrive.

"And I said some things and she said some things-"

"Not like it's the first time," Rex interjected.

"She said some things that kind of hit home," Natalie said softly.

"Such as?"

"She said if I wasn't careful I was gonna get John killed too."

"What did she mean, 'too'?" he asked warily.

Natalie didn't answer; she just stared at the road.

Rex got it, suddenly, "She meant Christian? She's saying that that was somehow you're fault? Please tell me you bitch-slapped her for that."

"Verbally," she said, "but she had a point."

"Natty there's no way that was your fault," Rex said grabbing her hand. "You know Tico Santi ordered Christian's murder."

"Rex, every guy I've ever been involved with had either wound up evil or dead or both," she protested.

"So you have bad taste and worse luck," Rex said, "It's not like many people in this town are doing much better."

Natalie sighed, not convinced, but not having the energy to argue. "Well anyway, I let her have it, and I guess I was pretty loud because Uncle Bo heard and he called me into his office later on and told me that I had to make sure my personal life didn't interfere with my work."

"And you told him to make sure Evangeline stopped showing up and interfering in your work?" Rex asked indignantly.

"I was so embarrassed; I really don't want Uncle Bo thinking I can't do my job. I promised I wouldn't let it happen again."

"And somehow this translated to you and Michael McBain…"

"I went to Rodi's to unwind. I had a couple beers and I was playing pool and Michael showed up. He started picking on me like he always does and I started picking back. And we kept drinking…" she trailed off, her head in her hands.

"And at some point he got tired of pulling your pigtails and invited you home with him?"

"No, but after I kicked his ass at pool a couple times he said I had an unfair advantage and we had to move on to darts. And I think that's when we moved on to tequila too."

"Natty," Rex said in mock exasperation, "you know better than to drink beer before liquor. Didn't Roxy teach you anything?"

"Oh god," Natalie suddenly whimpered, "I'm turning into Roxy, aren't I?"

"Not by a long shot," Rex assured her. "So you started playing darts…"

"And he just kept getting more and more obnoxious and I turned and the dart slipped out of my hand-"

Rex burst out laughing, "You threw a dart at him?"

"Well, not on purpose," she insisted, "but you wouldn't believe how deep those things will go."

"How hard did you throw it?"

"Hard enough it stuck in his shoulder and it was bleeding pretty bad. So I offered to take him to the hospital, but he said he had gauze and stuff in his room and he'd be okay."

"Uh huh?" he prompted her when she didn't continue.

"And I volunteered to go with him. 'Cause you know it was on his shoulder and it's hard to bandage your own shoulder."

"So basically you invited yourself up to his room?"

"But it really wasn't like that. I just felt guilty for maiming him," she insisted.

"Okay, so then?"

"So then he broke out the scotch. At least I think it was scotch. Coulda been turpentine at that point. And he took of his shirt so I could see the wound-"

"Very convenient," Rex said making a mental note that shoulder injuries could be a good ploy for future use.

"And…" she didn't seem to want to continue.

"And?"

"And I dunno we just started kissing."

"And?"

She glared up at him, "And use your imagination."

"Cut to me running into you in the lobby," he finished as they pulled into the driveway or Llanfair.

"Pretty much," Natalie said trying to climb out of the car but forgetting to unfasten her seatbelt first.

"Yeah, you have to take that off first," Rex said clicking the release for her. He climbed out of the car then circled around to help her up to standing. "Where are your keys?" he asked, not trusting in her ability to unlock the front door on her own.

Natalie plunked the keys into his hand. He let them in the back entrance that led into the kitchen and helped his sister sink into a chair. "Coffee," she mumbled.

"No," Rex corrected opening cabinets in search of a glass, "water. You're not going to feel better unless you rehydrate yourself."

By the time he had the glass of water ready, Natalie had her head buried in her hands and was shaking gently. Rex was pretty sure she was crying.

"Aw come on," he said putting down the glass, "the sex couldn't have been that bad."

"Rex this isn't funny," she choked out, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Okay, I'm sorry," he said, "but you have to admit that if you weren't involved you'd be laughing too."

"That's just it," she said, "I'm not supposed to be involved in things like this. I don't do things like this."

"Right, and at a later time we'll discuss how twisted it is that you get more upset over sleeping with a nice, albeit somewhat lame, guy then you do over almost getting yourself killed. Seriously Sis, everyone makes mistakes like this from time to time."

Natalie forced down a gulp of water, "You just think that because you hang out with skanks."

"At times yes," he conceded, "but I've spent a lot of times in bars, and I'm telling you, you would be shocked at the otherwise decent people who go home with people they never intended to leave with. And honestly, Sis, you've done worse than this in your time."

Natalie stared into the bottom of her glass. "What are you really so upset about?" Rex asked putting a brotherly arm around her.

Natalie looked at him; something other than remorse over a drunken night was swirling behind her eyes. Something like terror and helplessness. "Rex, after everything that happened with Paul I swore I wouldn't ever get involved with some guy just because I was upset over someone else."

"Oh!" he said dismissing her concern a little too easily, "that's what this is about. Natalie, Michael McBain is nothing like Paul Cramer. He may be kinda annoying but he's not gonna try and pull any of the kinda crap Cramer did."

"No, but he's John's brother. I've just ruined any chance at all that I had with John."

"How'd you figure that?"

"Because you don't date someone who's slept with your sibling. It just violates some unwritten rule."

Rex raised an eyebrow, "Okay, Natty, you married someone who'd slept with your twin."

"Yeah, but it had been a long time. And I wasn't even around then..." she said. Listing all the justifications she had listed to herself the first time that it occurred to her the situation between her, Jess, and Cristian was suspect.

"And the bottom line is you were really in love with Cristian and when you are you don't let any stupid unwritten rules get in the way of that."

"Maybe."

"And besides, there's no way John's gonna find out about this. You're not going to tell him and I doubt Mikey will."

"No, John would be just as pissed at him."

"Although it might actually be a good thing for you if he did find out," Rex said with that look he always got when he was formulating a scheme of some sort.

"How on earth would that be a good thing?" Natalie asked in shock.

"Well, you said all this time that Michael's been pushing John towards Evangeline. If John thought that Mike wanted you himself, it would make it look like he'd just been pushing John away from Evangeline so that you'd be free for him."

"Okay, it would be one thing if John thought that Michael was interested in me, knowing that he slept with me is only gonna make it look like I'm interested in his brother. It might make him back off. This is John we're talking about."

Rex shrugged. "It's your call."

Just then the outside door rattled and opened. Jessica stepped in, and looked at Rex and Natalie like a small woodland creature caught in the headlights of a semi.

"Jessica?" Natalie asked in surprise. There was something strange about her; her make-up was a little too heavy, her hair style a little too harsh, her clothes a little too revealing, and she walked in with a very unJessica-like swagger.

"Hey!" Jessica said in obviously feigned nonchalance, "Didn't expect you to still be up."

"We just got in," Natalie grumbled. "Where have you been? With Antonio?"

"Never mind about me," Jessica said with a wild fling of her hand, "what's going on with you? Have you been crying?"

"I am the world's biggest idiot!" Natalie said burying her head in her hands again.

Jessica sat beside her and put a hand on her shoulder, "Oh sweetie, there are much bigger idiots than you out there. I mean look at Rex-"

"Hey!" Rex protested.

"This is serious," Natalie said with her face still buried, "I've ruined my life. Again."

"Okay, what did you do? Did you kill someone?"

"No," Natalie said sounding as though she wasn't sure if that was actually worse than what she'd done.

"Did you break any other laws?"

"Not any they bother enforcing," Natalie said through her fingers.

"So who'd you sleep with?" Jessica asked a little too eagerly.

Natalie looked up at her, shocked that she'd come to this conclusion so quickly. "Michael McBain."

"Really?" Jessica said, sounding surprised for the first time. "But weren't you all hot for his brother?"

"You see what I mean? It's the worst thing I could have done," Natalie said holding up her glass and noticing it was empty. Rex got up to refill it for her.

"No," Jessica said gently, "I was just surprised 'cause I always thought he was kind of boring. I'm impressed, actually. At him. You can do much better. So how was it?"

"Jessica!" Natalie said, shocked to hear "the good Buchanan twin" talking this way. "It was… drunken and gross. I don't want to talk about it."

"I mean everybody does it, what's the big deal," Jessica said with a shrug.

"You would never do something like this," Natalie insisted.

Her sister let out a very unJessica-like laugh. "Don't be so sure," she said in a strange sing-song voice.

Natalie stared at her sister, "Are you drunk?"

"What is this?" Rex asked, "Buchanan Girls Gone Wild night?"

Natalie smacked him on the back of the head. "Ow!" he said.

"Bottom line, Natalie," Jessica said, "Did you use protection?"

"Yes," Natalie said with obvious relief.

"Does anyone else know?"

"Just Rex."

"Then you could have done a lot worse," Jessica said patting her on the back and sashaying out of the room.

Natalie stared after her.

"Not quite how I would have expected Jessica to react," Rex said.

"I'm worried about her," Natalie said.

"She seemed better off than you at the moment," Rex said.

"But she's just not acting like herself," Natalie said, still watching the space Jessica had vacated, "I mean like you said, she didn't sound like Jessica."

"Maybe she's not," Rex said thoughtfully.

"What do you mean?"

"Well maybe that wasn't Jessica," he said with a sly grin, "maybe there's a third twin running around nobody knows about."

Natalie smacked his head again. "Don't even joke about things like that."

To be continued…