Author's note: Sing with me, "This is the fic that never ends…" No, it will. I swear. I can see the end. I've written the end. It's just not as close as I'd like it to be. But it's getting closer, I promise. Anyway, thanks for continuing to read, I hope you're continuing to enjoy. Feedback is always appreciated.

There are some time jumps in here, but they're not huge.

Natalie took a deep breath and marched up to Michael who was studying a clipboard in the hospital corridor. He looked up at her startled as she said, "You're off the hook McBain."

"What?" he asked in confusion.

She thrust a thin folder at him. He opened it and looked at its contents. "Your ultrasound was today," he said understanding suddenly. He studied the papers, "Judging by gestational age-"

"There's no way you're the father," she supplied. She sighed. "I should be so happy, this was what I wanted. But- there's a part of me that was hoping it was yours. I don't know if I just want to hurt John back or if I just don't want to deal with everything he and I have been through-"

"Natalie," Michael cut her off.

"I'm pathetic aren't I?" she asked trying not to let her eyes tear up.

"No," he said, "there's something you need to know."

Before he could tell her what it was Bo Buchanan approached them; he gave Michael a questioning look.

"He's just out of surgery. I'll let you know when he's awake," Michael told him.

Natalie didn't think too much about their conversation, assuming it was a suspect of a witness that Bo wanted to question. Until she saw Bo mouth something that looked like, "Does she know?"

Michael shook his head.

"Know what?" she demanded.

Michael put a hand on her shoulder which was intended to calm her but only made her more concerned. Obviously he was worried about her reaction to this. "First of all, he's going to be okay."

"Who?" she asked looking from Michael to Bo, mentally she scrolled through men connected with both her and Bo, starting with family, "Is it Asa?"

Bo shook his head "Why don't you sit down?" he suggested.

And it dawned on her, "Please don't tell me-"

"Honey, John was shot today."

Natalie covered her mouth feeling sick suddenly as Michael continued, "He's all right. He was hit in the thigh; the bullet shattered his femur but it didn't get anywhere near any vital organs. They surgically removed the bullet and some of the bone fragments and pieced the rest of the bone together."

"He'll be okay?" she pleaded more than asked.

"He'll be fine," Michael assured her bending down slightly so he could look directly into her eyes. "Y'know us McBain brothers might have matching intermittent limps for a while, but other than that-"

She turned back to her uncle, "How did this happen?"

"He was working," he said, "It's an active investigation, Natalie, you know I can't discuss the details." He knew full well she wasn't going to accept that answer.

"Then leave out some of the details," she said setting her jaw in a determined manner.

Bo sighed. "He was working on a drug ring down in Angel Square. He busted into a meth lab and someone started shooting."

Natalie turned away. "Is this my fault, Bo?"

"How would this be your fault?" Michael asked.

She stayed focused on her uncle, "John's had a lot on his mind, and most of it's had to do with me. Do you think he was distracted-?"

"John's a professional," Bo said putting a reassuring arm around her shoulders, "he knows how to keep his mind clear when he has to. And even if he didn't, that wouldn't make this your fault."

"Can I see him?" she asked turning back to Michael.

"Once he's out of recovery and conscious," he said. Catching her protest before she could make it he explained, "Immediate family only at the moment."

"My baby's immediate family," she said putting a hand to her belly, "doesn't that count?"

Bo looked at his niece in only moderate surprise. He'd strongly suspected that Natalie might be pregnant, but no one had confirmed it until now.

"It's not my rule," Michael said putting his hands up.

Bo clapped a hand on his shoulder. "I have some pull with the chief of staff. I'll see what I can do."

A few moments later Natalie stared at John's unconscious form. She'd watched him sleeping plenty of times, but this was different. He looked pale, dwarfed somehow by the white walls and IV poles. He looked vulnerable; it was the first time she'd ever seen him that way. She'd never imagined it was possible for him to look vulnerable.

Michael nudged her forward. "Go ahead," he whispered in her ear, "go give him something to live for." She reminded herself that it was just an expression and that his survival wasn't in doubt. But it could have been. They all knew the man who shot him hadn't been aiming for his leg. John could have died without knowing what she had to tell him.

She sat down beside him and took his hand in hers. It was limp which scared her and she dropped it immediately. "You know," she said holding back tears, "if this is some kind of ploy to get my attention it's not fair." She knew he wouldn't respond, but she paused, waiting for him anyway. "Seriously, that whole trying to get yourself killed thing is my routine, get your own." Fingering the folder in her hands she added, "If you would wake up I'd let you see a picture of your baby. I can't tell if they're good pictures or not, but they said everything looks normal. Which is a change for us." Her voice caught in her throat and she couldn't continue.

"You said 'mine'," he murmured drowsily without opening his eyes. It took her a moment to realize he'd actually spoken.

"Yeah," she said wiping the corners of her eyes free from the tears that were starting to collect there. "Yeah, I did. The baby's yours."

"And you?" he asked.

She laughed slightly, "Yeah, it's mine too."

That hadn't been what he meant, but he couldn't manage to express himself. "I'm sorry," he whispered. He didn't say what for, there were so many possibilities, but she took his hand in both of hers, encouraged by the strength she felt returning there. She shushed him softly before smoothing the hair back from his face.

Two hours later she found herself, to her own surprise, pacing uneasily in the hospital corridor. When they'd moved John from recovery to his own room she hadn't followed him. First she'd stayed away so that the nurses could perform the necessary post-surgical checks, then it was so that Bo could talk to him, but afterwards she couldn't manage to enter the room. If he'd asked for her, she doubted she would have been able to stay away, but he hadn't and she knew he wouldn't. No matter how much he wanted to see her he would lie there alone playing the martyr. John didn't ask help he preferred to run around rescuing others. And somehow, despite everything, she couldn't convince herself to leave the hospital either.

She was surprised again when her pacing led her to Kevin who was pacing in his own little patch of hallway. "Kevin?" she asked, "What are you doing here?"

Kevin looked up startled. "Oh, Kelly had a doctor's appointment; I'm along for moral support. But, you know, I got kicked out in the hallway."

"Ah," Natalie said.

"What about you?" he asked, "What are you doing here? Everything okay?"

She let out a bewildered giggle. How to answer that question? Where to start? "I had an appointment too," she began. "Actually, I had decided after today I was going to start telling everyone, I won't be able to keep it a secret much longer anyway. I'm pregnant."

Kevin looked at her wide-eyed, clearly not sure how to respond. Natalie actually smiled; Kevin had the most entertaining 'confused' expression she'd ever seen. "I guess it's not been easy for you then, I know you and John have been fighting. I assume John's the father?"

"Yeah," she said, "but I just found that out a couple hours ago."

Kevin's expression moved from confusion to complete shock. "It's a long story," she explained. "Anyway, John's here. He was shot earlier today."

"Is he-?"

"He'll be fine," she said.

"And what about you?" Kevin asked. "It might not be any of my business, but what's going on between you two? Is it because you and someone else-"

"Well that didn't help," she admitted, "but it's less than half of it. I can't really talk about it, but he lied to me about something huge and I just don't know if we can get past that."

"Well been there done that," Kevin said.

It occurred to Natalie how cruelly ironic the situation was; Kevin and Kelly couldn't have a child despite all their efforts and she was pregnant despite not wanting to be. "I'm sorry," she said, "You probably don't want to hear about this."

Kevin waved her concern aside, "Don't think because Kelly and I have had fertility problems you have to pretend like you're not pregnant around me. How are you doing with this? I mean obviously this was unplanned."

She said grimly, "Apparently in Llanview you only get pregnant when you don't want to."

He nodded, "I've noticed that. It's either something in the water or there's some sicko who goes around to all the drugstores sabotaging the birth control and condoms and stuff."

"I knew there had to be a logical explanation," she said.

"It's scary, isn't it," he said after a moment. "I was younger than you when Duke came along. I remember what it was like."

"And everything else has gone to hell at the same time," she said. "And I have to keep focusing on what's right for the baby and-"

"It's worth it in the end, though," he said putting an arm around her. "And Natalie, if Kelly and I can work through all lies and all the pain we caused each other, I think there's still hope for you and John. I can tell from the expression on your face that you still love him."

"And I almost lost him today," she said softly, "but that doesn't change everything he did."

"No," Kevin said, "and feel free to make him answer for that. But if you decide you want a future with him, I think it's still possible."

"I have a lot of thinking to do," she said.

"Well if you ever need to talk," he offered. He knew he wasn't generally who she came to when she needed support, but he wanted to make it clear he was available.

"Thanks," she nodded starting to pace slowly back in the general direction of John's room.

"Hey," Kevin said before she'd gotten far. She turned back to him. "Mom said you were looking for an apartment."

"Yeah," she said, "I figured at Mom's age she doesn't need a baby screaming in the middle of the night. And I kind of think it's time for me to get a place of my own."

"There's always the Carriage House," he suggested.

She shook her head, "I don't want to kick Kelly out."

He leaned closer to her, "She hasn't been sleeping there very much lately, anyway. No sense in letting the space go to waste. And I could use some help persuading her to move in with me."

She laughed. "I'll think about it."

Michael McBain walked into his brother's hospital room not certain what sort of reception he would receive. The last time they'd talked had been weeks ago when John nearly broke his jaw. Now John was the injured one. When Michael had first realized that John was the GSW being brought in he'd been scared, but now that he knew his brother was going to be okay, he could let himself enjoy having John at his mercy. Just a tiny bit.

"You know, if you wanted a little brotherly bonding time you could have just called," Michael said. "I know we're both busy, but I'm sure we could have come up with a better way to get together than this."

John glared back at him, but there was a hint of humor behind it. "Go ahead enjoy yourself, Mikey," he said, "see if I help you out on your next speeding ticket."

Michael smiled. "So… congratulations," they both knew he was talking about finding out he was the baby's father. "Have you told mom yet?"

John shook his head, "You?"

"No," he said, "I didn't quite know how to have the 'Guess what you're going to be a grandmother but it could be from either son' conversation."

"Me neither," John said.

"Listen, Johnny," he said, "this is the way it should be."

"Well, I'm sorry for… you know," John pantomimed punching himself in the jaw.

Michael shrugged. "I probably would have done the same thing. I just want you to know I'm really happy for you and Natalie. I hope you two can work all this out before the baby comes."

John looked off into space and Michael could tell he was thinking about Natalie. "She go home?"

"Nah," his brother told him, "she's lurking out in the hallways somewhere, I think. I'm sure if you asked for her she wouldn't be able to refuse. A brush with death tends to make you irresistible."

"I don't have any right to ask her for anything," he said.

"Don't do this," Michael said sounding somewhat annoyed.

"What?"

"This whole martyr, giving up thing. I know you care about her."

"I love her, Michael," John said softly.

He smiled, "I know. And I know she loves you too. Can't figure out why, but she does."

"Shut up," John said looking for something he could toss at his brother. Fortunately for Michael there was nothing within arm's reach. It was at that moment that the door opened and Natalie walked in.

"Well speak of the devil," Michael said. John gave him a look warning him to be quiet.

"Michael," Natalie asked looking not quite at him, "do you mind giving us a minute."

"Sure thing," Michael said opening the door, "I'm supposed to be working anyway."

As the door shut behind him Natalie walked to the side of John's bed. "So I promised if you woke up I'd show you pictures." She handed him the glossy ultrasound printouts. He stared at the first images of his child in amazement as the idea began to sink in further. He was actually going to be a father. Looking over his shoulder and pointing she added, "I'm gonna be honest I can't really see anything, but the doctor told me that's the head. And yeah, and it looks healthy and everything."

He looked up at her as he handed the images back, "Thank you."

"Oh this one's for you," she said handing one of them back. "I mean, if you want."

"Yeah," he nodded not taking his eyes off of her.

She sat down uneasily in the chair beside his bed. "For future reference, if you want my attention, there are better ways of getting it. You scared the hell out of me today. You're not supposed to do that to pregnant women."

"I'm sorry," he said.

"Well, I figure you didn't plan it," she said, "You don't like to be the one who needs help."

"Not especially," he said. She shifted uncomfortably in her chair. "You don't have to stay," he told her.

"I know," she said, "but I need to tell you something."

She was avoiding making contact with his eyes; this was obviously not something easy for her to say. A sudden fear hit him that she was about to tell him that she wanted him out of her life for good. That the ultrasound image was all he was going to see of their baby.

"When they told me you'd been shot I thought I was going to throw up, John," she said. "And it's not like I didn't know already, but knowing I could have lost you reminded me how much I'm still in love with you."

"But?" he said, sensing it couldn't all be that positive.

"But it doesn't erase what you did," she said.

"Nothing can do that," he said, "I know. You can't trust me."

She shook her head. "I would trust you with my life, John. More than anyone else I've ever known. And I would trust you with my baby's life. Our baby's life. But-" her voice cracked and he could tell she was fighting back tears. She took a couple of breaths to regain her composure and then finished, "I just don't know if I can trust you with my heart."

He reached out for her hand. "I understand," he said, "I don't deserve any trust from you."

"I want you to know," she added, "I promise you I will never do anything to keep you out of this baby's life. It's really important to me that it have two parents."

"You just don't want me in your life?" he supplied.

"I don't know what I want," she confessed, "Other than obviously for you to stop getting shot. I just—I still have things to work through."

He nodded. "Take as long as you need. I'll stay as far or near as you want."

Natalie sat down on the bench in her mother's garden. It was unseasonably warm and the fall sky was a brilliant blue. She had never been much of an outdoors person, but had taken to long walks on the grounds because it helped her avoid her mother's pitying looks and efforts to commiserate about the pregnancy. She knew her mother meant well, but sometimes it got to be too much. She'd wandered up to the carriage house to see how things were going with the gradual switch between her and Kelly, but had turned around when she saw Kevin's car in the drive. She wasn't in the mood to spend time with such a disgustingly happy couple.

She heard footsteps in the gravel and hoped whoever it was would just pass by, but to her chagrin her uncle Todd appeared a moment later.

"There you are," he said, "your mom sent me to look for you."

"Here I am," she said forcing half a smile.

He sat down beside her as if he wanted to talk and Natalie wondered if she should remind him that Jessica was the niece he was close to, not her. "How are you doing?" he asked.

She sighed, "Well, I'm pregnant and barely speaking to the baby's father because he lied to me about something huge and he might still be a little pissed at me for sleeping with his brother and my life is totally screwed up and I don't know where I'm going to fit a baby into it. And on top of all that, my knees hurt and I seem to have hives or something breaking out all over my arms." She realized from the expression on his face he had no idea what to do with her outburst and added, "You didn't really want me to answer that honestly, did you?"

He shrugged, "Well, you know… ask a stupid question."

She nodded looking for a way to gracefully exit this conversation. "Look, I know you and me never been close like me and Jessica-" he began.

"We kind of got off to a bad start when you turned me over to a man who was planning to kill me," she agreed.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. It was to save Blair… you know, nothing like love to make you do something really stupid."

She laughed bitterly, "That's what I hear."

"But, you know, if nothing else, Blair and I are the ultimate examples that if two people love each other they can get through anything. I'm not saying I'm thrilled with my niece being with a cop, but if you love him, I think you should give him another shot."

"You don't know what he did," she said softly.

"What? Hiding the fact that Cristian was alive?" he said.

She stared at him in horror. "You knew?"

"Relax," he said, "I found out after you did and only because I have Antonio's cell phone tapped."

"You what?" she asked in a whole new shock.

"I did it when I was worried about Jess. Might have forgotten to turn it off."

"You're a freak, you know that," she said burying her head in her hands.

"Yeah," he said, "and I've done much worse than McBain. I mean, Natalie, I told Blair our son had died and then I sold him to David Vickers. Actually, I didn't sell him; I paid Vickers to hide the kid. But Blair forgave me for that, and it wasn't because I deserved it, 'cause I don't. It was because for some reason or another she loves me, and I love her. And now look at us. We have two great kids, a family-"

"You're telling me to forgive him?" she asked looking up at him.

"I'm telling you that if he's the guy you love, you're not going to be happy without him; Blair and I never have been. So you might as well find a way to be happy with him."

"Maybe," she said hugging her arms tightly across her chest.

"Well I better get you inside, Red," he said suddenly, "you're starting to bake in this sun."

She touched the bridge of her nose which she had already felt stinging. "The trials of being pale," she said standing up. She hated to admit it but a lot of what Todd had said made a disturbing kind of sense. She was actually feeling marginally better when she walked into the house.

"There you are sweetheart," Viki said walking out of the living room. Staring at her daughter she stopped short and gasped. Bringing a hand to her mouth she murmured, "Oh please God, no!"

To be continued.