Author's note: So sorry about that last cliffhanger. Well, not too sorry, but, you know. I actually got very stuck on this chapter and forced myself though because I want to get this thing done. Unfortunately, I'm afraid it sounds a little forced. Better things are coming, I swear.

"There you are sweetheart," Viki said walking out of the living room. Staring at her daughter she stopped short and gasped. Bringing a hand to her mouth she murmured, "Oh please God, no!"

"What?" Natalie asked, "What is it, Mom?"

"Natalie dear," Viki said trembling and walking towards her daughter, "your face…"

"Oh the sunburn?" Natalie asked wondering why her mother was so concerned over this, "yeah, I guess I should have put on sunscreen."

Viki took her by the hand and led her to a mirror in the entryway, "Baby, I don't think that's a sunburn."

Natalie looked at herself. It was a strange looking burn, a little darker than she would have expected to get in such a short time and looked more like a rash of some sort than a burn. It spread over her nose and onto her cheeks to right below her eyes. The shape was a little unusual, like one of those psychologist inkblots, like a bat or a butterfly. "What else would it be?" Natalie asked uneasily.

Visibly shaken her mother walked into the living room and sank down on the couch. "How much do you know about your sister Megan?"

"Not much," Natalie said sitting beside her, "just that she died young."

Viki nodded, "Of complications from lupus."

"Mom, I don't understand," Natalie said. "What does this have to do with-"

Viki touched her daughter's face gingerly, "Natalie, that 'sunburn' looks very much like a lupus butterfly rash."

"But it could just be a sunburn," Natalie insisted.

"We need to get you to a doctor," Viki said anxiously standing up and looking for her purse.

"Vik, I think you're overreacting," Todd said.

"I'm not!" she insisted. "I've been through this before!"

Todd put a hand on her shoulder, attempting to calm her, "Okay, even if she does have it, most cases of lupus aren't as bad as Megan's, right? Marty was fine most of the time-"

"Todd you don't understand!" Viki said shaking her head.

"Mom!" Natalie said inserting herself between her mother and uncle, "Please calm down. I still think it's probably nothing, but I'll see a doctor if it'll make you feel better. I'm going to call my O.B. and see if she can meet me at the hospital. I don't want to take any risks with the baby."

Viki nodded still trembling but seemingly satisfied with this answer.

"Natalie?" Michael asked in surprise seeing her walking into the hospital flanked by her mother and uncle. "Is something-" Michael stopped himself short studying her face and asked, "Natalie, do you have lupus?"

Natalie sighed and brought a hand over her eyes; Michael could see something was making her tense. "No," she said firmly.

"Dr. McBain," Viki interjected, "she's never been diagnosed, but that's a butterfly rash, isn't it?"

Michael looked from Viki to her daughter uneasily. "It looks like one," he admitted, "but we shouldn't jump to any conclusions."

"I called Dr. Conklin," Natalie said, "She said she would meet me here. I just want to make sure whatever this is the baby's okay."

Michael nodded, "I'll go see if she's here."

As he walked away Viki began pacing anxiously. Natalie turned to her, "Mom, please calm down. You heard Michael, he said not to jump to any conclusions."

"I also heard that he had the same thought as I did," Viki said.

"Here, why don't we sit down," Todd said trying to calm his sister who immediately turned on him.

"Todd please stop fussing over me," she said, "I'm not the one who's sick at the moment."

Natalie took a few steps away trying not to let herself absorb her mother's stress over the situation. That's when she heard uneven footsteps and a man's voice say her name in confusion. She turned to see John with a set of crutches and his leg immobilized by a bulky foam and metal cast. "John," she said, not prepared for the sight of him limping although she knew all about his injuries, "What are you doing here?"

"Follow up," he grunted motioning to the leg, "What about you? Is something wrong? The baby-?"

Michael rejoined them at that moment and directing himself only to Natalie said, "Dr. Conklin left a message that she's been held up by an emergency situation at the office but she'll be here as soon as possible. We're gonna go ahead and check you out, okay."

"Okay," she nodded.

"What's going on?" John asked his brother having had no response from Natalie who was starting to appear more agitated.

"We think she may have lupus," Viki explained.

"Mom thinks that," Natalie interjected, "we don't really know anything."

"What is this?" John asked brushing his thumb along the border of the purplish spot on her cheek.

Natalie flinched under his touch. Whether it was because of skin irritation or because she wasn't ready for him to touch her yet he couldn't be sure, but at the same moment they both seemed to realize the significance of what had just happened. For whatever reason she couldn't let him touch her. Their eyes met. "I'm sorry," he mumbled.

"No," she said softly wanting offer him some kind of reassurance, but not finding any she could give him she shifted attention back to the matter at hand. "I think it's just a sunburn."

He frowned, "That's a pretty bad looking sunburn. What's this about lupus?"

"That rash is a very common symptom-" Viki interjected.

"Look," Natalie said holding her hands in a stop symbol towards both John and her mother, "You're both getting worked up over nothing. There might not be anything wrong at all."

"She's right," Michael agreed realizing how tense the anxiety around her was making Natalie and looking for a way to help her escape. He put an arm around her shoulders and began leading her away from the group, "In fact why don't you come with me and we can get to the bottom of all this, okay?"

Natalie nodded mutely. Turning back to the rest of the group Michael added, "We'll let you all know if there's anything to report."

As soon as they were in the exam room Natalie let out a breath she hadn't even realized she was holding. "You seemed to be getting kind of overwhelmed out there."

"Yeah," she said, "thanks for the rescue. Look, I need you to tell my mom that I don't have lupus and everything's fine."

"Shouldn't we find out whether that's true first?" Michael asked.

"As far as she's concerned that doesn't matter. My older sister died of lupus," Natalie explained.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I guess that explains why your moms' so upset. I didn't even know you had an older sister.

"I never met her," she said. "But I think for mom this is bringing back a lot of bad memories. But she's overreacting, isn't she? I don't have lupus."

"Well that's what I'm going to try to figure out if you'll let me," Michael said.

"Okay," she said climbing up on the bed, "is it a blood test or-"

"Well, we'll do some blood work, but unfortunately there's no definitive blood test for lupus. It's possible that a blood test will prove you do have it, but there's no test which can absolutely say you don't."

"Great," Natalie groaned.

"So what we do instead is check for symptoms. I'm not a rheumatologist, and I'll probably wind up referring you to one no matter what, but we're going to run over some things first, okay?"

"Okay," she said uneasily.

He picked up the pen on his clipboard, "Now I have to be honest with you, that thing on your face could have come out of a textbook. It's pretty convincing, but it's not enough. Have you had anything like this before?"

She shrugged, "I have sensitive skin, it's hard to say…" She pushed up the sleeves of her shirt revealing several red splotches, "But sometimes I get things like that, I didn't think anything about it. Lois switches laundry detergent and doesn't tell me or something and then-"

Michael wrote something down on the clipboard. "What about headaches?"

"Some," she admitted, "but that might have more to do with, you know, your brother than anything else."

Michael smiled, "Fatigue?"

"I'm pregnant," she said looking at him sideways, "isn't that pretty common?"

"Yeah," he said continuing to write, "any unusual swelling or joint pain?"

Her expression sank immediately and he knew she recognized the symptom. "It went away so I never said anything," she murmured.

"When did this happen?"

"Right after I found out I was pregnant. Right after John told me- While I was out of town. I got really stiff and sore, and I thought it was just from the long car ride, but then I woke up one morning and my feet were so swollen I couldn't fit my shoes on."

"Okay," Michael said in a tone that indicated this was significant.

"It still doesn't mean I have it, though, right?" she asked anxiously.

Michael lowered the clipboard to his side and looked at her, "Well like I said, you need to see a specialist, and I'll recommend one for you, but generally with diagnosing these things it's a looks like a duck quacks like a duck kind of thing."

She bit her lip and put a hand on her belly, fear flickering in her eyes, "Okay, assuming I do, what does that mean for the baby?"

When Dr. Conklin arrived and took over with Natalie, John pulled his brother aside in the corridor. "Mikey," he said, leaning on his left crutch, "I need you to translate all this medical stuff for me. I don't even know what lupus is."

"It's an autoimmune disease-" Michael began.

John shook his head, "I don't need a recitation from a medical book. I just need to know what this means for Natalie and the baby."

Michael thought for a moment, "Well, it'll be considered a high risk pregnancy from this point, but that's mostly precautionary. Most women with lupus have normal pregnancies nowadays."

"But this is me and Natalie," John pointed out, "so it's not a bad idea to be prepared for the worst case scenario."

Michael spoke calmly, hoping not to alarm his brother any more than necessary, "There is an increased chance of miscarriage and premature birth. Increased incidence of high blood pressure with the mother…"

"And?" John pressed, sensing Michael was leaving something out.

"Well," Michael said uneasily, "If she does have lupus it's not great that her first definite flare up was while pregnant."

"Why?"

"Because in some women the increased hormone levels with pregnancy can trigger a worsening of the disease."

"How?" John asked not quite hiding his fear.

"Cardiac or kidney problems primarily. But that's extremely rare."

John let his head drop towards his chest as he processed this information. "So what do we do?"

"Well her doctors will monitor her very closely," Michael assured him, "the best thing is to make sure she takes care of herself—gets enough sleep, eats right, stays away from stress-"

"So basically stays away from me," John said with a bitter laugh.

"I wouldn't go that far," Michael said rolling his eyes at his brother's self-deprecation.

John shook his head, "You saw the way she flinched when I touched her. She still can't stand to be near me."

"She was tense," Michael explained, "she was being crowded by you and her family and none of you was exactly calm. I don't think you can go by that."

"Yeah well," John said, "I'm gonna go. I'm only going to make things worse hanging around here." As he limped down the hallway he wondered to himself why everyone was always criticizing him for being such a cynic. No matter what he did the worst seemed to keep happening to him and everyone he loved.

Natalie tried hard not to laugh at John lumbering around the office with his cast and crutches, trying to find a way to carry a stack of papers and a cup of coffee. Grinning she asked, "Can I help you with that, John?"

He looked at her sheepishly, "No, I think I can get it."

"Give it here," she said standing up and taking both the papers and the mug from his hands.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" he said as she opened the door to his office for him.

"Maybe a little bit," she admitted, "I kind of like this dependent side of you. Gives me a chance to look out for you for a change."

"How are you doing?" he asked settling in at the desk.

"Fine," she said indicating clearly she was tired of that question.

"You went to that specialist yesterday, right?" She hadn't told him, but he'd heard from Bo when he asked why she wasn't at her desk that afternoon.

"Yeah," she said.

"What did he say?"

"She seems to agree with your brother and my mother on the diagnosis, but she says there's no big cause for concern right now," she said, then added, "She told me to avoid stress and I told her that's no problem because I have no stress in my life."

She'd meant to make him smile but saw that instead the joke evoked sorrow from his eyes. "Oh come on, if I can joke about this, you can."

"Joke about your health?" he asked, "She's right, you need to take care of yourself."

"I am," she said sounding somewhat irritated, "I wish people would stop reminding me. Like I don't realize how serious this is. Like I would take any risks with my baby."

"We're just worried about you," he argued.

"But you're all treating me like I'm a child with no sense," she said, "I mean, John, I'm going to be a mother soon, you might want to start treating me like an adult."

"You don't think I see you as an adult?" he asked, thinking her pregnancy in and of itself should be proof to the contrary.

"I know you see it as being protective, but when you order me around and make decisions for me… it's hard not to read something into that."

They both knew that when she talked about him making decisions for her she wasn't talking about the present, she was still talking about Cristian. He looked down at the desk, looking for a new way to apologize for that, but she beat him to it.

"I'm sorry," she said, "You didn't deserve that."

"Yes I did," he said.

"No," she insisted, "I'm just… I think it's the hormones. I'm sorry."

"Really," he said, "you have a point. You are a grown woman, an intelligent, beautiful one at that. You deserve to be treated that way."

She smiled at hearing him call her beautiful again, surprised at how much fluttering she felt inside. "Look John, about the other day at the hospital when you touched me-"

"You don't have to explain," he said.

"It wasn't- I was just stressed, you know. Between worrying about Mom and worrying about the baby and everyone crowding around me…"

"Natalie I promised not to push you and I don't want to," he said, "if you don't want me to touch you, it's okay."

"It's just…"

"What?" he asked, blue eyes pleading with her to tell him everything. To show him someway he could help heal the breech between them.

"When you touch me like that, you're so tender and protective and I know how much you care about me and the baby and that you want to take care of us-"

"And something about that bothers you?" he asked. Was this also making her feel babied?

"It's selfish and silly," she said toying with her hair, "but I can take care of myself, that's not what I want you around for. I want to know that the baby's not the only reason you're touching me. That it's not just about protecting us-"

"Well there are plenty of other reasons I want to touch you," he said, "but I've been afraid of getting slapped."

She blushed and stammered, "Well, I mean, we should probably move slow."

"I can do that," he said smiling.

She turned to leave but quickly turned back. Feeling suddenly like a shy fourteen year old asking out the senior quarterback she said, "John, I meant to tell you, if you want to come along for the next ultrasound it's okay."

"You sure?" he asked eagerly.

She nodded, "Might be nice not to be there alone for a change."

"I'd like that," he said feeling hopeful for perhaps the first time that they might have a chance.

"Well?" Bo asked as John and Natalie walked into the station, "You two have baby pictures for me?"

Natalie handed him the sonogram print outs she held in her hand. Bo looked at them smiling with memories of being a father. "So is it a boy or a girl?" he asked unable to tell from the grainy images.

"Good question," Natalie said giving John a significant look.

"I'm still not clear on why this is my fault," John said meeting her eyes with an amused look.

"'Cause I decided it was," she informed him, "Our child is uncooperative and gets that from you."

"Oh I'm the uncooperative one?" he teased back.

"What am I missing?" Bo asked.

"They couldn't tell," Natalie explained, "the baby wouldn't get into the right position. But I'm pretty sure it's a girl."

"You just decide that too?" John asked.

"Yep," she said with a smile, "hey, mother's intuition has to be worth something, right?"

"I wouldn't know," Bo said, "But can I see you for a minute John? We have some new information on the Schwalm case."

"Yeah," John said sobering immediately.

Turning to Natalie Bo said, "Hold my calls and make sure no one comes in. We shouldn't be long."

"Sure," she said walking around her desk to sit down. She smiled watching Bo and John disappear into his office. Today had felt good; she and John seemed almost like two normal expectant parents. For a moment she'd been able to forget the secrets and pain and fear. Feeling the baby move inside of her she put a hand on her belly, as long as the baby was okay, it would have all been worth it.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't hear the other woman come in until a voice above her asked, "Is Bo in?"

She looked up to see Evangeline looking as uncomfortable as she suddenly felt. "He is," she said, "but he's in a meeting right now and asked not to be disturbed."

Evangeline nodded, "Do you know how long he'll be?"

"He said not too long," Natalie told her.

"I'll wait then," Evangeline said, "as long as that's okay?"

"Sure," Natalie said uneasily wondering when Evangeline started asking permission to invade her space. Looking at Evangeline's svelte form in her designer suit, Natalie felt suddenly self-conscious of her cotton maternity top and protruding belly. She tried to pretend to be absorbed in her work.

After a moment Evangeline cleared her throat, "So I haven't had a chance to say 'congratulations'."

"Oh," Natalie said wondering if Evangeline really was ignorant of how chaotic everything involving the baby had been or if she was being coy on purpose. "Thanks," Natalie stammered.

"Um… when are you due?" Evangeline asked sounding as though she were fumbling for conversation.

"April 10th," Natalie answered looking quickly back at the screen of her computer.

"So… do you know yet if it's a boy or a girl?"

"Not yet," Natalie groaned doubly irritated at having to answer that question again and at having to talk with Evangeline.

"So you um-?"

Evangeline never got the next question out because Natalie looked up at her and said, "You know, Evangeline, it's okay. You don't have to act like you're interested in the baby; you don't have to act like you want to talk to me."

"I'm sorry," Evangeline said, "did I say something wrong?"

"No," Natalie sighed, "but I don't really believe you want to go on and on about the baby your ex is having with another woman. Nobody would. I mean if our positions were reversed-"

"Our positions wouldn't be reversed, Natalie," Evangeline said suddenly.

Natalie studied her face trying to discern what she was implying, "Because you wouldn't steal another woman's man or because you wouldn't be dumb enough to get pregnant accidentally?"

"Because John never would have left you for me," Evangeline said. Natalie's face softened slightly; no matter how much she disliked Evangeline she knew she'd been hurt by the situation with John. She couldn't begrudge her a little sympathy.

Evangeline continued, "I do believe that John wanted to be with me while he was, but I was never a long term commitment. The thing is, Natalie, I broke up with John because he couldn't give me what I needed, but at the same time, there are things he needs that I can't give to him either. I think maybe you can."

"Are you still talking about the baby?" Natalie asked. She didn't picture Evangeline as the motherly type, but had never thought about how that could have impacted her relationship with John.

"Sort of," Evangeline said, "more so what it represents. Family, backyards, pool tables and beer. They never quite appealed to me the way they did to him."

While Natalie tried to find a way to respond to this Bo's door opened and John and Bo emerged. Both of them stopped short at the sight of the two women having an intense conversation, knowing that was never a good thing. "Everything okay out here?" Bo asked.

"Yeah," Natalie responded.

"Can I see you?" Evangeline asked turning to him.

"Sure," Bo said waving her into his office.

John lingered before going back to his office, watching Natalie go about her work. The lupus symptoms had gone back into remission and she looked completely healthy. Glowing. She caught him looking at her and self-consciously asked, "What?"

"Did you just have a civil conversation with Evangeline?" he asked.

"Yes," she said, "hard to believe, isn't it?"

He shrugged, "Crazier things have happened I suppose."

"With us, they definitely have," she said smiling up at him.

To be continued.