Title: Lady Lazarus, Or Five Things that Never Happened to Lilly Kane

Author: Wynn

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Veronica Mars. They are owned by Rob Thomas, UPN, Warner Brothers, etc. and are used for non-profit, entertainment purposes only.

Lady Lazarus,

Or Five Things that Never Happened to Lilly Kane

By: Wynn

Lilly loved secrets. She loved them because they were undoubtedly the most interesting thing about a person, and Lilly despised the ordinary. She loved the lengths people went to hide their secrets; loved the lies they told, the oaths they broke, the dirty little deeds they did to keep their secrets hidden. It all amused Lilly to no end. She loved having secrets, and she loved keeping secrets, but most of all, Lilly loved telling secrets. And the secret she had to tell Veronica right now was without a doubt the biggest one she'd ever heard in her short yet fabulous life.

So she didn't let that complete Nazi of a supervisor stop her from telling Veronica what she'd been dying to tell her all freaking day. That Veronica no longer had to marry Lilly's now lame half-brother to officially become a part of her family like they originally thought. That they already were family.

Veronica's eyes got big as Lilly dished her dirt, dirt her father and Celeste and her mother tried to sweep under a web of secrets, lies, and money sixteen years ago. Dirt she not-so-accidentally overheard yesterday while her father and step-monster fought over her once again.

"Are you serious?" Veronica whispered, and Lilly loved the excited breathlessness in her voice, loved the play of emotions over her best-friend-cum-sister's face as this fabulous secret of Lilly's sunk in.

Lilly smiled. "Would I lie to you, Veronica Mars?"

God, she couldn't wait to see the look on Celeste's face when Lilly let slip this little tiger out of the bag.

…………

"Look, I know it's not what you're used to. But you told me you hate what you're used to, so I thought…"

Weevil trailed off and Lilly stared down at the diamond ring he'd slipped on her finger when she'd had her legs wrapped around his head and his name raw in her throat. He was right. It wasn't what she was used to. The ring was small and thin, a half-carat square-cut diamond on top of a delicate platinum band. The ring was classy and elegant and just not fabulous enough for Lilly Kane.

"But I want you to marry me, Lilly girl. Help me bring this town to its knees."

Lilly looked up at Weevil, perched between her legs, one scarred hand on either side of her hips. Her name glistened on his chest and fire burned in his eyes. He loved her, no doubt about that, everyone loved her. But Weevil loved the parts of her that her parents hated and Duncan ignored and Veronica feared.

"So… what do you say?"

A sly grin spread across Lilly's face. What did she say? "I say no to the ring," she said, tossing it back at him and giggling as it bounced off his forehead. Anger dark like thunder clouded his face, and Lilly sat up. She reached down, slid a hand over his dick, squeezed, and ran her thumb over the head, all the while watching Weevil watch her. She looked at him from beneath her lashes as she said, "I say no to the ring, but yes to everything else."

Lillian Navarro. She liked the sound of that.

…………

Lilly swept into the house, looking the very definition of smoking hot in that red dress of hers that made her boobs look spectacular. She did a quick once over of the house and spotted Duncan standing in one corner next to the stairs. Lilly made her way over to him, putting an extra bit of sass into her step in case of prying jackass eyes.

"Where is he?" she asked.

Duncan sighed and pointed up the stairs. "But maybe you should wait down here with me. He's in a mood, and I don't want to hear about WW3 tomorrow. Veronica will be down in a minute and-" Duncan caught the look on her face and sighed again, "Never mind."

Lilly rolled her eyes at him as she started up the stairs. She would not wait down there with him. The asshole deserved to see her looking fabulous but untouchable in her boob loving red dress, deserved to see her flirt with other guys after that stunt he pulled two days ago, deserved to see her kiss-

Veronica.

"What. The. Fuck?"

Logan was kissing Veronica.

Logan. Was kissing. Veronica.

Her Veronica.

Lilly stormed across the room and wrenched Logan off of Veronica. She pushed him back against the wall, stuck her finger in his face, and said, "Don't you fucking touch her again, you fucking asshole. She's not yours to use against me. She's mine. Got it?"

She heard Veronica gasp behind her. Lilly turned. Veronica's cheeks were flushed pink, her eyes wide in that shock and awed innocence of hers that drove Lilly mad with jealousy and lust.

Lilly closed the distance between them. Her hand settled low on Veronica's hip as Veronica said, "What- what about Duncan?"

Lilly smiled. "He can wait his turn," she said as she leaned in for a kiss.

…………

Celeste wrapped her arms around Lilly and hugged her tight. "I love you," she said. "Just the way you are."

…………

Lilly hated being alone. For the longest time, or for those few weeks in which her number one passion in life was astrology, Lilly was absolutely certain someone somewhere fucked up royally in the circle of life because she was undoubtedly a social butterfly Libra and not the stick-in-the-mud Virgo she supposedly was.

The thought of returning to that Kane monstrosity alone for the rest of the day and night held no appeal to Lilly, so she said to Veronica, "I have the most fabulous idea and you'll never guess what it is."

Veronica looked over at her, her hands still pulling one of the five billion pep squad car wash posters from the wall, and arched an eyebrow. "You want to have a sleepover?"

"Not just any sleepover. The best sleepover ever. We'll eat raw cookie dough, watch Sydney kick a little Sark ass, and debate about who really is the biggest jackass in Neptune: Duncan or Logan. And I can finally get rid of that horrendous yellow cotton dress of yours, which in and of itself should be reason enough for me to come over."

"I don't know, Lilly. My mom-"

"Will totally not even know I'm there. Besides, your dad said I could come over whenever I want, and I want to come over."

"I want you to come over, too, but-"

"Then it's settled. Don't worry so much, Veronica Mars. It'll give you wrinkles, and I can so handle your mom." Lilly threaded her arm through Veronica's and led them off into the (mid-afternoon) sunset. "Besides, I have the most fabulous secret to tell you, and believe me when I say this one you're not going to want to miss."

…………