"Wondering – 7"
Author: Stephjag aka Steph
Email: or http/ I do not own the JAG characters; they are the property of CBS, Paramount Studios and they belong to Donald P. Bellisario.
Classification: Vignette / Drama, romance Harm and Mac
Rating+13 (just to be on the safe side)
Spoilers: "What if" just for the big lines. Every shipper moment through season 2 and season 9.
Summary: Mac's wondering about the road not taken.
Feedback: Please, if you would like to express your enjoyment. If my work does not appeal to you for any reason, I have no problem with that, but please, no need to share that with me.
Part Seven
Still at the Reflecting Pool
Washington, D.C.
Once again Harm and Mac broke their kiss as they needed air. Suddenly they couldn't get enough of each other. They finally freed themselves by sharing what each felt for the other. They'd found their place.
What they both secretly had hoped for so long had finally become reality.
"Mac?" Harm called softly.
"Yes?"
"What brought you to my apartment tonight?"
"Well, I was actually trying to explain it to you earlier, but I got distracted." She smiled wickedly.
"Distracted, by whom, by what?" he asked, smiling wickedly as well.
"Well, let me think, I think it was a comment of my still best friend – that I thought I'd lost – that caught me completely off guard."
"Oh? And what comment was it exactly?" he asked Mac, holding her close to his heart.
"It was a phrase from a song by Savage Garden, "Truly, Madly, Deeply." No, it wasn't a phrase – it was three words of it. My best friend said jokingly, '… because you are Truly, madly, deeply in love with me.' What else could I say to that than the simple and naked truth?"
"I don't know. You could have said that I was wrong or something," he said playfully, smiling.
But his smile faded away quickly as he saw the seriousness of the expression on Mac's face and that her eyes were brimming with tears.
"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to hurt you," he said sadly.
"It's not you, Harm. It's me. I'm responsible for my own tears – I just suddenly realized that all I ever did was push you away in hopes of not being hurt. But all I really did was hurt myself, more than I actually thought was possible, when all I really wanted was to be with you. We lost a lot of opportunities; we could have been together for a long time, but none of that happened because of our pride."
As sad as it was, Mac was speaking the truth. They had both let their pride take some sort of advantage on their feelings for each other, which was also one of the reasons why they'd said so many thoughtless things while angry or hurt that neither of them really meant.
They certainly had done a good job of pushing away each other, all these years of taking one step forward and ten backwards.
Now it was Harm's turn to lift Mac's chin up with his finger. "You know, sweetheart, you're not the only one to blame for the years we lost, and I've been a pretty big imbecile too," he said seriously, and his comment made her giggle softly.
"Why are you saying that?"
"Well, when you where about to marry Mic I went flying because I had to – wanted to. I didn't want to see you kissing Brumby again, because when I saw you do it back in Australia it broke my heart, and that's why I rushed away from you. And when I crashed into the cold waters of the ocean because of the storm all I could think of was you. You were the one who kept me alive, Mac. You were my strength. I felt so weak and helpless, you have no idea. I faced the fight with my heart and soul, but I'm not sure I would have survived without you…" His voice trailed off.
"Harm…" She cuddled against him. "I wouldn't have survived it if you hadn't come back. I ran away and looked the rain falling through the window, crying for you. I think that Mic saw what I refused to admit to myself that night – that the only man I really and truly loved, and will love forever, is you and no one else." Mac shivered as she finished speaking.
"Hey, you're cold. What do you say we would continue this conversation at my apartment?" Harm offered, rubbing her back gently with his left hand.
"Yeah, that'd be great."
"Let's go then, Marine," he teased, gently.
They both stood up, and walked hand in hand close to each other. Both thought about all the missed opportunities that never would come back again and the pains they'd caused each other, but they were also thinking about all new perspectives for their future… together.
To be continued…
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