Soda and I finally went inside. There seemed to be nothing else we could do.
Soda cried as he sat on the couch, hugging a pillow tightly. I sat next to him and wiped my eyes on my shirt sleeve. I couldn't believe what had just happened. I must be dreaming, but if I am, it's a nightmare.
How could I have hit Pony? Why would I do such a stupid thing? I wish I was dead right now, but I knew I had to live on, so I could at least take care of Sodapop.
The image of Pony grabbing my shirt as he was being pulled away from me by Mrs. McCool ran through my head. I couldn't shake the feeling that I had failed them. I'd failed my parents, and my brothers. I'm a failure. All I wanted to do was die.
How could I let this happen? I'm supposed to take care of my brothers, not hit them and let them be taken away from me. I didn't know how, but someway, I'd get Ponyboy back. Even if it killed me.
Soda looked over at me. As though reading my thoughts, he said, "It's not our fault, Darry. These things happen. We'll get him back, Superman. Somehow."
"I know. I'll make sure of it."
I reached over and grabbed Soda, crying the hardest I had in a long time. Soda and I hugged each other, as we both cried our hardest because Ponyboy was gone. What had we done?
We went to bed that night, but I don't think either of us slept. When I got up in the morning, I wished it had all just been a horrible dream, but the truth came flooding back, hitting me harder than any punch I'd taken in a rumble. Ponyboy was gone. I didn't know how I'd get him back.