Much love to: aliaslover, Julia Goulia, Jesse, Claire, Gear's Girl, Meighan, Natalie, pigeonofdoom, Acetoorionserendipity112233, and freitazal for your wonderful reviews. This chapter is going to be the last of the loose ends chapters…you'll see it all start to come together next chapter…

her feelings she hides

her dreams she can't find

she's losing her mind

falling behind

can't find her place

losing her faith

falling from grace

she's all over the place

He just held her for a long while. He couldn't believe it. He honestly couldn't believe it. She had stopped talking awhile ago and dissolved into tears. They were slow and unbearable tears. Her face buried deeper into his chest and she just dissolved into unrestrained sobs. "I just don't want you to look at me differently. Please. Please." She tried to think…think of anything that would make this pain go away. She tried to push her mind away from what had happened to her in Ireland. She felt like a swimmer, standing on the starting block before the race, wanting to push off and escape into the chlorine filled waters. Ireland was her starting block and she needed to push away as fast as possible. She felt the tears course down her face, tasting the salt seep into her mouth. A sense of near relief almost swept through her veins. At least she wasn't dehydrated anymore.

He stroked her hair softly, kissing the crown of her head. He could not believe what he had just heard. Things like that did not happen to the people that he knew….especially to a woman so close to his heart. A mixture of unadulterated rage and pain swept through him. He wanted to kill the bastard more than ever. He gritted down on his teeth, feeling like his jaw tighten and jute out slightly. "I would never. I could never." He pulled her even closer, tightening his grip against her body. He wanted to make all of this go away for her. He knew that this was the worst pain for her. There was no escaping it now. He could only imagine what a nightmare this was for her. "It's not your fault." He whispered. "You survived. That's all that matters. You survived all of it." A brief flash went through his mind at the concept of her not surviving. His eyes went wide with absolute fear. He couldn't even imagine that moment…how horrible it would be to have to write that debrief…to write the words on how his agent…his asset…died. He was sick at the thought. Oh G-d, he never wanted to think about that again. He just needed to hang on to her.

"I feel like I'm dying." It was as she was reading his thoughts. She cried harder, having a harder time catching her breath. Her fingers gripped at his shirt, clinging onto him as if she was holding on for dear life. Their legs slowly became entangled as she reached for some sort of sanity. It was, by far, as intimate as they had become. Her hand drifted over his heart and was almost soothed by the gentle beating beneath her fingertips. Between her gasps and sobs, it was the only real thing in her life.

His beating heart was breaking for her. This wasn't a good state for her to be in. It could only further hurt her health. He managed to get a free hand to reach around. Without much more thought, he adjusted the flow on her IV, controlling how much pain medication she was getting. Enough of it and she would calm down entirely. His fingers felt the blue clip and moved it up once. The slow dripping of the IV fluid increased ever so slightly. "You're not dying. I promise you; you are not dying." He wasn't entirely sure if he was repeating this for her or for himself. He tried to calm her down. It wasn't healthy for her to be acting this way.

"Please don't let me." She pleaded, in between her hysterics. He was scared now; he had never seen her like this. Granted, he had been scared from the moment that he picked up the phone and heard her crying. But now, he was really scared. Sydney Bristow didn't get like this. She was much stronger than any other woman. Any other person, for that matter. She wasn't the type of person to curl up into someone's arms and cry to the point of hyperventilation.

"I'll never. I'll never." He cooed softly into her hair, rocking her slightly and trying to shield her from the rest of the world. The world had done enough to her. He could try to protect her a little while long. It was a futile effort, maybe, but he could try. It was his job. She was his job.

Eventually, the tears stopped flowing down her face and her body drifted into a drug induced sleep. Her body relaxed against his body, and he felt her entire weight against him. He pressed his lips against her forehead once more before unwrapping his arms and untangling their legs to get out of bed. It was a new feeling that suddenly overtook him. He felt a void in his arms…he was very aware of her not being against his chest. Part of him wanted to curl right back into bed and wrap himself around her to simply to lay there. He wanted to sleep next to her, feeling her gentle breath against his skin. Trying to ignore his heart, he tucked the blanket up around her shoulders, keeping her warm and comfortable. With one last fleeting glance, he made his way out of the door. He was a mess, wanting to avoid the two other men until he got himself together. He needed to get himself together. He wanted to be calm again. He wanted his heart to stop racing. He wanted to avoid life for a few minutes. This was unsuccessful, of course, as Weiss looked up from Vaughn's blue and white couch. "What is it?"

Vaughn looked startled and his green eyes were very bloodshot. "Nothing" he barely responded, not wanting to make eye contact with his collogue. He just wanted all of this to be over. His heart was welled up in his throat, causing him to have difficulty swallowing. Psychosomatic, of course.

"That may work on other people, but not on me. Try again. What happened?" Weiss leaned forward, allowing his forearms to rest on his knees. He knew his best friend better than anyone else in the world. He saw the lies surge in his eyes, hidden behind the redness. Weiss had only seen Vaughn look like this, this terrible, this distressed since Alice had been rushed to the emergency room. It was the middle of day, Vaughn and he had been at a favorite pizza place, trying to separate themselves as much as possible from the workday. It had been a stressful day with their superiors harassing them about reports that were due. Their cell phones sat just beyond their plastic plates and their sodas (no drinking during the day). They were in the middle of a discussion about hockey (one of Vaughn's favorite topics and one of Weiss' least), when a consistent buzzing shook the liquid in both of their glasses. It was Vaughn's phone, neither of them had to look down to determine it. His phone had a distinctive vibrating setting…buzz…buzz…buzzbuzzbuzzbuzzbuzzbuzz…buzz…buzz…Vaughn rolled his green eyes and picked up phone…the annoyance was evident as he flipped it open, not bothering to look at the caller ID. All that he knew was that he had been bothered during his precious forty-five minutes of freedom. "Vaughn."

Weiss couldn't hear what was going on the other side and didn't take much investment in it. He took the chance instead to exam the passer-bys of the not so busy street. Every once and a while a person would walk by…not exactly a lot to distract himself with. Weiss returned his gaze to his pizza, oily and greasy but great all at the same time.Well, not exactly 'great' but decent pizza nonetheless. Maybe he would start his diet tomorrow.

Vaughn placed his cell phone down on the table, after a relatively short conversation. His face was pale and his eyes were suddenly sunk deep into his head, "We-um…I hafta go. I'm…um…" He looked down at his half eaten pizza, reaching into his wallet.

"What is it, man?" Weiss asked the reasonable question.

"It's um, "he swallowed down hard as he tossed a few bills down onto the ugly yellow plastic table, "it's Alice. She was in a car accident and it's um…that was the hospital…and the doctor said it's um…it's bad. I…I-uh…I gotta go."

Presently, Vaughn rounded the couch and sat down, "She told me what happened." He shook his head disconcertingly.

"I thought you knew what happened."

"I didn't know all of it."

Weiss sighed heavily, "There was more?" He waited for a moment, taking silence as an affirmative answer, "Oh man. G-d, Sydney…" He let his voice trail off for a moment, grappling at what possibly could have happened to the other agent. "Do you want to tell me?"

Vaughn looked at him for a long moment, unsure of what to do next. His eyes flickered back to the closed door and shut tightly, "She's been through so much." It was actually a surreal situation. He couldn't believe how much she had been through and survived. Granted, she was not doing as well as she could be doing mentally but she was alive. Unfortunately, due to circumstances, he just had to look at the bigger picture. Right now she was weak and broken, but she was alive. She was breathing and coherent. She held the capacity to make her own decisions and tell her story. She was transforming from victim to survivor and Vaughn could not have been prouder. Other agents would have cracked under the mental anguish. He just kept praying, fumbling slightly with the metals he wore beneath his shirt. His mother was particularly religious and made him swear that he would wear them all the time. She promised him that Saint Michael and Saint George would keep him safe. He agreed, enjoying feeling the metal against his skin. Now, he sat with Weiss, aware of the metal pressed against his skin. He prayed silently to those patron saints and behind closed eyes, wished it all away.

Weiss studied his hands, "She's strong. She'll make it through this. You saw what a fight she put just to have us change those dressings. She's not going to let anything else—"

Will chose that moment to emerge from the guest room. Vaughn had offered him that to splash some water on his face and get himself together. The blue-eyed man shut the door pretty loudly behind him, causing Vaughn to mentally chastise him about disturbing Sydney. Will approached the couch and his arms crossed over his chest, "I don't know what the hell is going on but we can't just sit here and do nothing!" There was something in his eyes that Vaughn recognized immediately: pure and unadulterated anger. "She's in there…She's in there dying and you two are making small talk? What gives?"

"Whoa whoa, calm down, man. Being angry-" Weiss attempted to calm him down, turning and facing the outraged man. He knew that this angry could consume anyone. He had been consumed by it once and seen Vaughn consumed by it before. It was like a fire…and he knew the effects of it.

Will refused to listen. He could only feel how his heart was down out of his chest and the undying desire to punch a hole through the wall. He was normally an even-tempered man. This was a new experience for him. "Angry doesn't even begin to describe it!"

"But you need to remain rational until we sort everything out, okay?" Vaughn rose and faced Will, his hands at his side, palms up pleading.

"What sorting could you possibly need to do? She's in there. She's beaten and broken beyond anything. And you're sitting out her making small talk with the doctor!" Will was screaming now, there was no holding back in his voice.

"Will-"

"He thinks I'm a doctor?" Weiss muttered to no one in particular but very proud of the persona he was coming across with. Dr. Eric Joseph Weiss.

"Why aren't you doing something? Why aren't you contacting the CIA or FBI or getting a mission together? Why isn't Jack flying in on some private jet or you on a man-hunt for the son of a bitch that hurt her? Why aren't you concerned about her?" His voice reached a volume that surprised even him. He had never felt such anger surging through him. He was livid and felt his entire body shacking in its wrath. His heart was breaking in his hands and there was no way he could fix this.

"Hey! I am concerned about her but I have to take things one-step at a time. These things take time." Vaughn replied his hands up defensively. "Why don't-"

"I want to kill someone-not talk!"

Will threw his hands up in the air and started to pace slightly. "I just don't understand. I honestly cannot understand this."

"It's-" Vaughn started again.

Will turned on his heels, "I know-it's not for me to understand. But in all honestly, I just can even comprehend this situation. I can imagine what she's gone through and I honestly can understand why you two are sitting on your asses not doing a damn thing about it. I think you are scared of getting up and doing something."

Vaughn stopped being able to hold his temper, "Will, for the love of G-d, I need you to shut up! We're all hurting here. There's nothing we can really do about it right now. I want to do whatever I can to make sure that nothing more happens to her. It is-it is literally my job to make sure that she stays safe! Now, please! Let me do my job." Vaughn shouted, feeling his forehead wrinkle and the veins extend in his neck. His pulse was pounding loudly and his hands were forced down deep into his pockets. "I understand! I know what you're going through!"

Will stood in the same spot he had been, looking at Vaughn with a mix of rage, compassion, and pain. He didn't know what to do or how to react. This was absolutely knew territory for him, "The only difference is that I love her."

"No, Will, you're wrong. I love Sydney, too." Vaughn announced. It almost felt purifying announcing it to the room. He felt freer. He felt like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders.

He was so oblivious, in fact, that he did not hear the front door open or see the woman standing there. She heard the little exchange, starting with Vaughn yelling at the other man, who she didn't recognize. The only thing she could really pay attention to was that her boyfriend had just declared his love for someone. And it wasn't her. "Who the hell is Sydney?"

Now, I know I didn't reveal what happened to Sydney. It's already written out in the coming chapters…I'm curious to see what you all think happened…and I'm willing to bet most of you are right! Thank you once again.